Merb’s reputation amongst SPs

[LC18]

On the other hand I don't think the example screenshot from @LC18 conveys the same. (I am not a French speaker, so maybe things got lost in translation) For me it was an upset customer venting about a bait and switch. Yes, he does call her ugly, but considering the context, I can understand why those words were chosen.

He called her fat, ugly and used a word in French that could be translated to “fuck” but even more vulgar. “Fourré” as opposed to “baisé”.

Like I said in another reply, I’m not telling people they cannot be angry and write truthful/honest reviews. That’s the whole point of having a review board. They should however express themselves with a little more manners.

“She came in, I paid her, I fucked her 5 minutes, I emptied that.”

is exactly the reason women don’t like reviews and don’t want to join merb. This particular review was discussed in private conversations.

 

[LC18]

I like how everyone is very focused on reviews. I should have let that part out. There are threads that have nothing to do with reviews and are still full of misogynistic views. A member was suspended s few months ago exactly for that.

 

[Jaxan]

Saw this thread pop up yesterday, and been kinda avoiding it. Seems like a relatively simple enough question, "Do you even like women?". Speaking for myself, I definitely like women, alot more than they like me, thus why I am here on Merb... lol

But if we peel back the layers of this topic, it gets complicated and nuanced. If we replace the word "like" for "respect", it might be a more applicable. We're on a forum, that mostly consists of men, who are looking for and reviewing SP's. It is not surprising that in that setting, we see the locker room mentality kick in, where men can and will speak of women in a degrading manner. It can be callous and objectifying, and I can see why SP's would not like, do not feel safe, and avoid Merb. Not all the men are like that, but the negative ones always stand out more than the rest.

This industry, generally speaking, is the objectification of women for mens gratification, at a price, it is a transaction. We have adverts, where Agencies/SP's list "stats", services, and present seductive images to attract clients at a cost that is reasonable to them for their time and services. And we have men who peruse these, looking for women that fit their needs and desires, at a cost that they justify is acceptable to them. In this kind of environment, it is easy to forget the human element, and you see it expressed, in some of the more vulgar/misogynistic posts. Don't read every post here, but at times, we do police ourselves and come to the defense of the dignity of the SP in question, but sadly not every instance.

When we are on this online format of anonymity, where we are all hiding behind handles and avatars, people tend to let their true nature show, or at least the persona they want to portray themselves as.

 

[bodick7]

Some are true gents
Some other think they are
Some other don’t care and they think true gents are white knights…
And some are pure assholes who can put Ghb in lady’s drinks….

 

[homeosgm]

Do I like women?

Honestly, right now, probably not so much. I don't really like the way they interact with others or view the world. As a more attractive man (not sexy, but probably more attractive than average) I'm used to interacting with them, and having to be charismatic etc... but it usually leaves me feeling kind of empty. I find them bossy and weak-minded / overly sensitive at the same time.

Of course, the exact same criticism can be levelled against men I know, but even those men will tend towards at least some emotional catharsis at some point... which could just be my biased perspective, admittedly.

My line of work has me dealing with women 95% of the time, and in my experience, they are more emotional (both highs and lows) and more prone to taking out the emotion on me for something that I'm trying to help them with.

------

Personally, I think these views are irrelevant to the objectification of women. And yes, part of my sexual psychological is not about caring about the holistic elements of the individual but satisfying my sexual desire. One does not have to participate if they don't want, and I won't let emotional pleas convince me that I'm wrong for my own emotional needs when it comes to sexuality.

I think women objectify men to a crazy degree in the dating scene, seeing us as a potential resource gatherer in the same way men see women as a breeding body or body for sexual pleasure. Whilst I think this generalization does capture the distilled truth of the matter, I'm not failing to recognize that there is more complexity and variability to it, I just mean to say that the objectification is a two-way street and completely natural.

------

Back to the original question:

Do I like women? Well, I would prefer to spend time -- for the most part -- with men, nowadays, whereas in the previous decade when I was in my 20s, I'd prefer the company of women.

In the context of the forum, it'd be like asking if I like waiters/waitresses or cooks. I don't really like them, no, but that doesn't mean I don't like a good job being done at a restaurant and that I won't tip well and be fully respectful to the individual working.

 

[Fradi]

I have had nothing but love and kindness from the women in my life
From the woman of my dreams who I was married to for over 35, years until cancer took her from me.
To the young lady who I have been seeing for over 6 years regularly who has been an angel to me, she is not only kind and thoughtful but absolutely gorgeous.
I have never had an unpleasant experience with any of the Indys I have seen, obviously I have my favourites and the ones I see more often but yes you can say I definitely like women and I do try to keep my reviews to not be dehumanizing or hurtful.

 

[DouMan]

Pathetic.

Pathetic to see just how low some will stoop to lick someone's ass to be "part of the boys".

To read some who think they're on a mission to fuck all that has a pulse and "report" their mission, pathetic.

They'd probably have a holy fit if someone would even remotely talk about their sister in the same way, but then again, would they? Would they even be man enough to at least feel bad for their kin?

As previously mentioned, sure there are situations where we get the shorter end of the stick (no pun intended) but there are ways to clearly expose the problem in a half decent way.


Once again, pathetic to see just how low some will stoop to lick someone's ass to be "part of the boys".

 

[LC18]

I think some of you only read the title of this thread and nothing else.

I’ll update it because I didn’t think it would be so misleading…

 

[DouMan]

I think some of you only read the title of this thread and nothing else.

I’ll update it because I didn’t think it would be so misleading…

I think your title was really spot on especially when reading certain "reviews" from some of the "boyz" posted as examples.

Then again, as you well said, people have the responsibility of reading.

But hey, what to expect from certain who can't even read a providers website or ads, too busy jerking off.

 

[FrenchSecrets]

Do I like women?

Honestly, right now, probably not so much. I don't really like the way they interact with others or view the world. As a more attractive man (not sexy, but probably more attractive than average) I'm used to interacting with them, and having to be charismatic etc... but it usually leaves me feeling kind of empty. I find them bossy and weak-minded / overly sensitive at the same time.

Of course, the exact same criticism can be levelled against men I know, but even those men will tend towards at least some emotional catharsis at some point... which could just be my biased perspective, admittedly.

My line of work has me dealing with women 95% of the time, and in my experience, they are more emotional (both highs and lows) and more prone to taking out the emotion on me for something that I'm trying to help them with.

------

Personally, I think these views are irrelevant to the objectification of women. And yes, part of my sexual psychological is not about caring about the holistic elements of the individual but satisfying my sexual desire. One does not have to participate if they don't want, and I won't let emotional pleas convince me that I'm wrong for my own emotional needs when it comes to sexuality.

I think women objectify men to a crazy degree in the dating scene, seeing us as a potential resource gatherer in the same way men see women as a breeding body or body for sexual pleasure. Whilst I think this generalization does capture the distilled truth of the matter, I'm not failing to recognize that there is more complexity and variability to it, I just mean to say that the objectification is a two-way street and completely natural.

------

Back to the original question:

Do I like women? Well, I would prefer to spend time -- for the most part -- with men, nowadays, whereas in the previous decade when I was in my 20s, I'd prefer the company of women.

In the context of the forum, it'd be like asking if I like waiters/waitresses or cooks. I don't really like them, no, but that doesn't mean I don't like a good job being done at a restaurant and that I won't tip well and be fully respectful to the individual working.

Don’t like vanillas so much as I find the kinky females are the best!

 

[GreyPilgrim]

Is it a surprise to anyone that an escort review board would end up feeling like a rowdy boys’ club / locker room?

Just to be clear: NOT saying I endorse it, NOT saying I enjoy it. Reading any one of my rare posts and reviews will quickly give you a pretty clear idea of where I stand on respecting SPs.

But, I mean… This board was historically founded, attended and maintained by men. If not exclusively, then at least by a vast, vast majority of men. In fact, during my nearly 20 years tenure, I don’t think I have ever seen as many women / SPs actively participate here. While I for one applaud and greatly value that participation, the mere fact that it’s such a recent evolution of this board does underline my point: are you really surprised to see men behave like dicks when there are no ladies looking?

As for "enabling" that behavior by staying silent… this is the internet. I highly doubt pleas to decency and valid ethical arguments will get you anywhere with the people who choose to behave like that.

Sad to say, but I don’t see things changing anytime soon.

 

[homeosgm]

I think some of you only read the title of this thread and nothing else.

I’ll update it because I didn’t think it would be so misleading…

I feel like you may be referring in part to my post.

I definitely read the whole thread and I felt like the original title touched on something even deeper than your intent, seeing as this profession touches the most primal area of meeting in life for men and women. The way the title was worded also touched on a very pertinent subject to what is happening in the West, in particular how polarized the genders have become -- particular with lower levels of sex being reported (maybe due to health issues, but I also see incel, "no pussy no work", high value male/female etc... movements)

 

[TooSexy4MyCat]

He called her fat, ugly and used a word in French that could be translated to “fuck” but even more vulgar. “Fourré” as opposed to “baisé”.

Like I said in another reply, I’m not telling people they cannot be angry and write truthful/honest reviews. That’s the whole point of having a review board. They should however express themselves with a little more manners.

“She came in, I paid her, I fucked her 5 minutes, I emptied that.”

is exactly the reason women don’t like reviews and don’t want to join merb. This particular review was discussed in private conversations.

That example is a bit extreme. That was a bait and switch which is a despicable practice. Agreed his language is very coarse and likely because of the anger of the situation. I think people not restraining like that lose reputation by not controlling themselves. But just like anything else, you cannot expect respect with shady practices like that. I said worst thing about Air Canada when their sold me a ticket for an overbooked flight. They disrespected me first with a that greedy 'dont give a crap about passengers' business practice of overbooking 10% of the plane for more profit and I lost my respect for them. I certainly hope they were not expecting praise for me even if I own AC stocks because I find it unethical.

In most unfavourable reviews where the SP was honest I've seen here, I've seen more things like 'chemistry was not there' or 'less my type' instead. I have also read several Merbers comments defending the SP in such circumstances because of their miscommunication or weird expectations.

That being said, yes there are bad apples everywhere.

 

[LC18]

I said worst thing about Air Canada when their sold me a ticket for an overbooked flight.

It’s not the same when it’s about a company vs one single human. Again, she might never see this review but it’s just the fact that someone can talk about someone else that way…

It is indeed a very frustrating situation but I also don’t understand why he paid and stayed.

 

[TooSexy4MyCat]

It’s not the same when it’s about a company vs one single human. Again, she might never see this review but it’s just the fact that someone can talk about someone else that way…

It is indeed a very frustrating situation but I also don’t understand why he paid and stayed.

It is the same. A plumber, a mover, a contractor, your ex who cheated on you with your best friend, your best friend who slept with your ex... At least for a vast majority of people, anyone who engage is despicable actions against you will lose your respect to a degree correlating with the level of disrespect of their actions. But I still get what you mean especially because I think this girl might not be responsible or even aware of the bait and switch and is just going where the booker tells her to go so she doesn't deserve that lack of respect.

 

[rascar-capac]

Pour certain ça vol pas haut c'est évident.

Une solution a envisagé afin d'éviter ce style de commentaire désobligeant et TRÈS blessant (imaginé une jeune femme début début 20aine qui lit un commentaire aussi désobligeant il y a de quoi la marquer pour plusieurs semaines ; baisse d'estime de soi, manque de confiance etc.)

Il y a un thread qui date de plus d'un an si ma mémoire est exact sur ce sujet. La solution serait de standardiser le format des reviews sur le site. Un fichier prédéterminé (fait en collaboration entre vous les SP, les John comme nous et merb, cela serait un travail ardu j'en convient ) avec une section commentaire assez réduite (comme à l'époque des début de twitter style 100 caractères max voir moins)

C'est évident que ce n'est pas bullet proof, qu'il serait tout de même possible d'être désobligeant mais avec moins de possibilité d'élaborer sur le sujet. De plus ça éviterais d'avoir trop de détails dans les reviews comme ceux qui pense écrire un scénario de film de fesses. Nous savons tous que ce hobby est HAUTEMENT ymmv donc ce qu'un john peux recevoir comme service d'une compagne, il est probable que l'expérience d'un autre John soit totalement différent. Il est possible qu'en procédant ainsi les attentes serait moindre et possiblement, moins de harcèlement, pour vous mesdames, de ceux qui ne reçoivent pas le même service qui fut décrit très explicitement en long et en large inutilement

Le débat est réanimé,

Personnellement j'aimerais bien que merb en arrive là par respect au SP, qui après tout, c'est en partie en raisons d'elles que merb existe

By the way je ne fais plus de review depuis des années, 2 SP m'ont prouvés hors de tout doute, preuve à l'appui les "dommages" qu'elles ont subis suite à un commentaire vraiment désobligeant qui a été écrit sur elles. Par respect pour elle j'ai cesser.

Le nom d’utilisateur est caché pour des raisons évidentes mais c’est ce à quoi je faisais référence. Un exemple parmi tant d’autres.


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[homeosgm]

Would that be such a bad thing? It would just be forcing people to respect each other. I don't think any subject should be taboo, but they should be discussed respectfully and without any insults. As pointed out in previous comments, there is a difference between "I disagree with your point of view" and "wtf are you stupid lolz", or between "I didn't have chemistry with that provider so my own experience was negative but YMMV" and "she was a bitch so I used her as a cum bucket and went on my merry way". There is a way to describe things effectively without being insulting or degrading. Maybe MERB needs an HR department lol.

Yes and no.

Sure, maybe excessive insults can pollute the quality of the forum, but I don't feel like a customer has an obligation to provide multi-dimensional review.

If an SP robs you, there's no need to sugarcoat that she's likely a psychopath... or to delve into what childhood trauma has led her to this point.

Of course, a level of decorum is ideal, but the issue with censorship is always the fine line of deciding what is or isn't acceptable.

 

[GreyPilgrim]

Of course, a level of decorum is ideal, but the issue with censorship is always the fine line of deciding what is or isn't acceptable.

I’m right there with you: it’s a pretty slippery slope from "Please edit your post to a more respectful tone" to "My account just got banned because my lukewarm review apparently offended someone!!!".

Not to mention, anyone with a VPN will probably laugh off any ban and create a new account in a matter of minutes!

So I’m not convinced either that cracking down of disrespectful members is necessarily the solution. But there’s no denying such behavior reflects poorly on this board and us as users. Not to mention how it can directly impact SPs and to a certain extent the hobby as a whole.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I appreciate your bringing up this topic and find it intriguing how you desire respect, despite often being the first to criticize and respond sarcastically to other members, thus making them appear foolish.

Although I won't mention specific names, it appears that certain service providers on this platform harbor a significant amount of animosity towards both men and clients. Based on my personal observation, I've noticed service providers criticizing other members and dismissing their comments as worthless lies.

Simply advertising on Merb does not grant some member the entitlement to criticize or respond sarcastically to other members.

I agree with your point that some members display anti-woman sentiments, but the same can be said about certain service providers who contribute to Merb.

Some service providers also hold a negative view towards men. I'm not suggesting that all members on this platform are overly positive, but at least some of them show respect towards one another.

In my own opinion, I have a great affection for this platform as it provides me an opportunity to unwind and engage in enjoyable discussions. However, it is disheartening to witness members belittle and mock the comments made by others, completely disregarding their value.

It is important that we all treat each other with respect, and if one is not fond of a particular post, it would be more appropriate to simply ignore it rather than criticize the individual behind it.

It truly astonishes me to observe members of this community disrespecting others and their comments, and even having the audacity to challenge their viewpoints.

 

[Eurasian]

reminds me of some videos I see on tiktok or some other platforms where a gen X guy walks through a door and hits his shoulder to the door frame and doesn't feel it... then another person (millenium), hits the same door frame and feels it but just moves on... then gen-Z guy walks and hits it then falls to the floor crying.

Evolution of "men" in short. I miss the old days where you can call someone "he" and not be jumped at because I didn't say "him or he" or whatever flavour exist today