Merb’s reputation amongst SPs

[Obvio-0bvio]

Pour certain ça vol pas haut c'est évident.

Une solution a envisagé afin d'éviter ce style de commentaire désobligeant et TRÈS blessant (imaginé une jeune femme début début 20aine qui lit un commentaire aussi désobligeant il y a de quoi la marquer pour plusieurs semaines ; baisse d'estime de soi, manque de confiance etc.)

Il y a un thread qui date de plus d'un an si ma mémoire est exact sur ce sujet. La solution serait de standardiser le format des reviews sur le site. Un fichier prédéterminé (fait en collaboration entre vous les SP, les John comme nous et merb, cela serait un travail ardu j'en convient ) avec une section commentaire assez réduite (comme à l'époque des début de twitter style 100 caractères max voir moins)

C'est évident que ce n'est pas bullet proof, qu'il serait tout de même possible d'être désobligeant mais avec moins de possibilité d'élaborer sur le sujet. De plus ça éviterais d'avoir trop de détails dans les reviews comme ceux qui pense écrire un scénario de film de fesses. Nous savons tous que ce hobby est HAUTEMENT ymmv donc ce qu'un john peux recevoir comme service d'une compagne, il est probable que l'expérience d'un autre John soit totalement différent. Il est possible qu'en procédant ainsi les attentes serait moindre et possiblement, moins de harcèlement, pour vous mesdames, de ceux qui ne reçoivent pas le même service qui fut décrit très explicitement en long et en large inutilement

Le débat est réanimé,

Personnellement j'aimerais bien que merb en arrive là par respect au SP, qui après tout, c'est en partie en raisons d'elles que merb existe

By the way je ne fais plus de review depuis des années, 2 SP m'ont prouvés hors de tout doute, preuve à l'appui les "dommages" qu'elles ont subis suite à un commentaire vraiment désobligeant qui a été écrit sur elles. Par respect pour elle j'ai cesser.

Je suis d'accord avec votre point de vue. Cela peut diminuer la confiance en soi de quelqu'un et avoir des conséquences durables pour une Sp.

Mon principal conseil pour les SP’s sensibles est d'éviter même de jeter un coup d'œil à la plateforme Merb ou de s'y impliquer. Tous les SP’s ne sont pas capables de gérer de telles tâches et de rester résilients face aux avis négatifs.

Cependant, il est important de noter qu'il y a deux côtés à cette situation pour la SP en question. Par exemple, quelque avis positif pourrait conduire à une réservation complète.

Personnellement, je fais un effort pour m'abstenir de publier des avis négatifs car je comprends combien cela pourrait affecter profondément la confiance d'une SP.

Cependant, si un membre demande des informations sur une SP particulier, je répondrais promptement avec un review honnête afin que le membre puisse gagner du temps et de l'argent.

Il existe des moyens d'écrire des reviews sans nuire aux sentiments d'une SP et de favoriser la compréhension mutuelle entre les membres sans ternir la réputation ou l'ego d’une SP.

Il est important d'aborder les avis négatifs avec politesse et respect, en veillant à ne pas endommager la confiance et l'estime de soi d’une SP’S .

 

[funnyricky]

Some are true gents
Some other think they are
Some other don’t care and they think true gents are white knights…
And some are pure assholes who can put Ghb in lady’s drinks….

Well i think this is good for both.....provider and customer!

 

[bodick7]

Well i think this is good for both.....provider and customer!

Except for ghb I guess…

 

[LC18]

If there is any story of a provider putting GHB in a client's drink I definitely want to hear it.

I cannot disclose the information but I was made aware no later than earlier this week that a colleague was drugged in Toronto. I will not reveal more details unless she publicly comes forward.

It does sadly happens.

 

[FrenchSecrets]

Don’t like vanillas so much as I find the kinky females are the best!

Kinky women are openminded and a lot of fun as I know of married couples who don’t even have regular sex anymore so never mind the kinky stuff with them!

 

[GreyPilgrim]

Evolution of "men" in short.

Careful.

If the behavior you observe strictly manifests in a few of the loudest specimen but you choose to generalize their attitude to the rest anyway… you’re being a sensationalist hypocrite.

But then, if you observe the same behavior in the vast majority of specimen and still choose to dismiss all of them without consideration… well now you’re just being a disingenuous reactionary.

It‘s easy and tempting to dismiss someone else’s point of view, especially if it challenges your values.
It’s also the best way not to evolve as an individual.
Or as a board.

 

[Nerdsome]

I would like to start by saying that if I didn’t like merb, I wouldn’t be on here almost daily.

With that being said, a lot of you will routinely ask in person or on the forum “why do girls seem to hate merb so much?”

It’s more than just the reviews, a lot of women value discretion and having reviews about you just confirm that you are doing sex work. They can be used as proof when travelling to the US for exemple.

Beyond the reviews, some users of this website speak about women with so much violence and dehumanizing approches. It’s human nature to generalize and I know that those isolated threads have gained you the reputation of being very antiwomen. For that reason, many SPs simply do not feel welcomed or safe advertising, replying or even just browsing.

I have a few times attempted to bring some of my colleagues, the “ask us anything” thread was yet another attempt.

Even without an account, it is possible to read some of the content on this website and truly sometimes it makes us wonder “do you even like women?”

I’m very happy when I see fellow members replying with “hey dude chill” “no need to insult so&so” and whatnot.

Once again, I would just like to point out that if I didn’t like this website I wouldn’t come on here that often. I just try my best to ignore the vile comments.

Thank you for advocating your position so openly. It's refreshing to have some frank and open debate.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I cannot disclose the information but I was made aware no later than earlier this week that a colleague was drugged in Toronto. I will not reveal more details unless she publicly comes forward.

It does sadly happens.

While it is common to assign blame solely to clients in incidents like these, I believe that blame should be shared in both directions.

Allow me to recount an incident where a service provider administered GHB to me and proceeded to steal a significant amount of money and valuable jewelry. I won't delve into all the specifics, but this regrettable occurrence took place a few years ago.

Nevertheless, I have chosen not to generalize the actions of one individual onto all service providers. I perceive this incident as a valuable life lesson and acknowledge that every industry is bound to have a few unscrupulous individuals, just as the client community does.

It is important to recognize that not all clients possess animosity towards service providers or engage in drugging them with GHB.

Rather than holding one another responsible for the actions of a few, it is imperative that we collaborate and find solutions together.

 

[bodick7]

While it is common to assign blame solely to clients in incidents like these, I believe that blame should be shared in both directions.

Allow me to recount an incident where a service provider administered GHB to me and proceeded to steal a significant amount of money and valuable jewelry. I won't delve into all the specifics, but this regrettable occurrence took place a few years ago.

Nevertheless, I have chosen not to generalize the actions of one individual onto all service providers. I perceive this incident as a valuable life lesson and acknowledge that every industry is bound to have a few unscrupulous individuals, just as the client community does.

It is important to recognize that not all clients possess animosity towards service providers or engage in drugging them with GHB.

Rather than holding one another responsible for the actions of a few, it is imperative that we collaborate and find solutions together.

Still, You can fully recover and it’s all right.
It can be different for a lady as she could also gets her ass destroyed and else along with her self confidence.
If she’s not resilient enough and/or don’t have good support by family and friends, this could be the worst for her future…

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Still, You can fully recover and it’s all right.
It can be different for a lady as she could also gets her ass destroyed and else along with her self confidence.
If she’s not resilient enough and/or don’t have good support by family and friends, this could be the worst for her future…

This is not the intended meaning of my statement. What I meant is that we shouldn't solely blame the client for such incidents, as there are other service providers who may also drug clients, as was the case with me. I wasn't specifically referring to the consequences of being a victim of belng drug.I am mystified by the reasons why my words are manipulated and I am constantly put in a corner.

 

[bodick7]

This is not the intended meaning of my statement. What I meant is that we shouldn't solely blame the client for such incidents, as there are other service providers who may also drug clients, as was the case with me. I wasn't specifically referring to the consequences of being a victim of belng drug.I am mystified by the reasons why my words are manipulated and I am constantly put in a corner.

Is this reply a bit too Cartesian? What about thread title?

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Is this reply a bit too Cartesian? What about thread title?

In response to a member's mention of a colleague being drug by a client, I shared my own experience with her post. Try to pay attention before posting useless comments.

 

[Jaxan]

It took courage for @Obvio-0bvio to share this story. It must of been a horrible experience, and I can only imagine the turmoil and psychological, as well as financial toll, it took on you. Glad it has not soured you on this hobby, not sure I would have been as strong.

We can all agree, that there are evil people (men and women) in this world, who can and will take advantage of others, if given the opportunity. In this sense, Merb does provide a buffer, to help avoid these types of situations, but in truth, we are still somewhat blindly opening up a part of our lives to strangers. So everyone (both SP's and clients) should always exercise precaution, and common sense. Although, in the case of men, we tend to think with our dicks and not our brains...

 

[bodick7]

In response to a member's mention of a colleague being drug by a client, I shared my own experience with her post. Try to pay attention before posting useless comments.

I feel sorry for what you experienced.
Nonetheless, I think there is a major difference between a client and an SP being drugged by its peer. This is the only point of my "useless" comment.

 

[bodick7]

I got freely and savagely attacked on the street with a baseball bat few years ago.
Got 2 direct hits but I managed to get away with a broken hand.
I would have preferred to had my pockets emptied instead because damages weren't only physical...

 

[LC18]

To be very clear, not the topic at all but because you guys are talking about that…

Drugging someone is NEVER acceptable. I don’t care what your motives are.

However, if an escort drugs a client, it’s most likely to rob him. If a client drugs a companion, it’s to r*pe her.

You can replace the money and the material you’ve lost, recovering from sexual assaults takes time and might never happen in some cases.

 

[homeosgm]

I don't understand why this hobby seems to bring out the worse in people, with all the reports of violence, drugging, etc.

Anything that relates to basic impulses (sex, money, drug addiction etc...) is going to bring out the worst in people.

Scams, abuse, etc...

I would say, in my experience, that this domain generally attracts men who have a hard time getting sexual attention in the "real world" and women who may have difficulty making money at a "normal job". Since there are many vulnerable people on the buyer and seller side, it becomes an easy domain to exploit. I've definitely met psycho women who exploited my generally polite and nice attitude ... thankfully I haven't run into any of the males trying to rob me, not sure how I would have reacted.

Of course, this doesn't represent everyone in the domain. There are gentlemen and ladies who are a part of this circle, and are genuinely kind souls.

As far as drugging, whilst I do think raping someone is a worse crime by far (it's in the same territory as beating someone up, physically and psychologically), I think it's important not to trivialize robbery. Money and items of value can cost a lot of time, which is not replaceable.

 

[Fradi]

I got freely and savagely attacked on the street with a baseball bat few years ago.
Got 2 direct hits but I managed to get away with a broken hand.
I would have preferred to had my pockets emptied instead because damages weren't only physical...

It is really sad and must have been very traumatizing for you, glad you recovered, but I fail to see why you are trying to use this to somehow justify Obvio being drugged as something to be made light of.
There are bad and evil people among both men and women, yes usually women are more at risk simply because they are physically weaker and not able to defend themselves as easily as men not because they are born as good human beings and men are born evil.

Back to the original topic.
I don’t blame providers for having a negative opinion of Merb members considering some of the graphic and dehumanizing comments in reviews or some of the rude replies in other threads.
Having said that I think some of the ladies should also look in the mirror and realize that being a paid subscriber as stated by Obvio doesn’t give you an open ticket to mock, be outright sarcastically rude or call members liars and dismiss their point of view simply because it doesn’t coincide with your’s.
Nor is it helpful for the rest to instantly jump in and support each other regardless of what was said.
In the end this site was created for men to help each other to not be scammed, lied to or for them to be in danger when seeking the services of a provider.

I am sure the ladies have their own back channels of communication amongst each other for safety and I would like to be a fly on the wall to see if the gentler sex is really that much gentler when communicating amongst each other when no one else is listening, and I am not saying that to excuse the behaviour of men, but out of real curiosity, if Twitter is any indication then they are no different.

 

[bodick7]

use this to somehow justify Obvio being drugged as something to be made light of.

Hum....That was not my intention. I was more focusing on some traumas that can leaves psychological damages a bit like war soldiers.
When the policeman talked to me after the attack, I was so in a shock state that I almost felt unconscious... it took me weeks to recover as images of the attack were coming back again and again endlessly...

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I got freely and savagely attacked on the street with a baseball bat few years ago.
Got 2 direct hits but I managed to get away with a broken hand.
I would have preferred to had my pockets emptied instead because damages weren't only physical...

I apologize, my friend, for hearing about your unpleasant experience. It is undoubtedly worse than being drugged. I hope you have found the strength to move forward from this incident and maintain good mental health.

As some members have pointed out, it may seem like it's just about money and jewelry. However, I believe it goes beyond material possessions and encompasses invaluable things like trust and the difficult challenges that accompany it. Although I wasn't physically raped, I was mentally and physically violated by being made to sleep without my knowledge.

Nevertheless, I chose to move forward with resilience and not attribute blame to the entire community of service providers, as most service providers I've encountered in my life were hardworking and good people’s.

When I mentioned the comment being useless, it was because I had shared something significant with you,that occurred in my life and felt that my words were twisted and the topic was somewhat ridiculed, as if what I had to say wasn't important or relevant.

As echoed by myself and other members, we should refrain from arguing and instead collaborate to create a safe environment for everyone. We are a community, and our efforts should be focused on working together rather than against each other.