Normal dating & true love after years of hobbying

[Paykah]

How are you handling it?

. . . By not coming to this forum for answers ! ! LOL
Sorry, but also for real. Who do you think is here? [Majority are cheating on someone yet they condescend to others when given the opportunity to gratify themselves].

I like what @Rebaynia says; Just because a marriage might be sexless, doesn't make it loveless. Love takes many forms over time.

It is so easy to tell someone to smarten up and end it. We know the right answers yet we can't act always in the right way. Whether you've found true love or infatuation, what you are getting is a drug. This oxytocin is the lovers' heroin. When you lose it (by choice or not) it is an achingly empty hole.

Selfishness is seen as such an ugly trait, and Love as so pure. If you are getting something, something that feels like you've never had before, then how are you supposed to let go of that?

As for your question: I'm still walking around that hole, neither in nor out. Can I get back to you inna couple of weeks lol?

 

[GreyPilgrim]

Maybe it’s just me, but… reading this whole thread in one sitting, you seem awfully quick to dismiss most of the advice you’ve been offered here. Are you really looking for advice or just want validation?

Almost everyone here seems to be saying the same thing: you’re playing with fire!

Several weekends away this summer, wife getting suspicious, talking baby names with the girlfriend… There’s just SO MANY things that can go wrong here! Ever heard of Murphy’s Law?

The wife… The girlfriend... Whatever you choice is, choose soon, before the shit hits the fan and that choice is no longer yours to make. That’s my advice.

 

[Charsi-baba]

This society is fucked

 

[hob12]

This society is fucked

Really worth a 6 months bump to say that.

 

[ekzarh]

It was a combination of everything I guess.

Well, I do have an update. We are no longer together as of the end of 2024, she did want kids and wanted to move to the next phase and that had to involve my divorce. But when I looked it with a clear head and some of the issues I saw that were not a problem in a non-serious relationship became apparent as problematic if we were to live together.

On a positive side, I am in my best physical form of the last 20 years, eating healthy and exercising heavily on a daily basis, something that I started for this relationship and continued beyond.

 

[Flyingby]

Sidenote. How did you pull off the three days away with her? What excuse did you use with your wife?

 

[ekzarh]

Sidenote. How did you pull off the three days away with her? What excuse did you use with your wife?

Sport, I go on long bike trips quite often and kayaking/lake trips as well.

 

[Enjoying life]

Not judging but..,Married with children, a 20 something year old attraction and you still crave somebody new? Quite a lot to juggle but all the power to you. Decisions decisions. How much did you spend on her ?

 

[ekzarh]

I haven’t really returned to hobbying, as it seems kind of fake and a 50mins sex session without an emotional connection is not what I want anymore.

I do have some ladies that I believe I developed emotional connections to in the past, but doesn’t look like they are active anymore.

Someone in this thread compared it to drugs before, I think I tend to agree now. I’d say that hobbying is probably like smoking weed and what I had is a much “heavier” stuff (with all the oxytocins) and going back to “weed” kind of seems dull & pointless (even though I never smoked weed or used anything).

 

[Flyingby]

@ekzarh thanks for sharing your story.
I can relate to a lot of stuff you mentionned and i appreciated the read