Normal dating & true love after years of hobbying

[ekzarh]

I did not know your background, but I do believe that love can be possible even without sex. Sorry to hear that this is not the case for you.

How would true love with the new girl impact the marriage and the children? And does true love for you mean, not saying SPs any more?

Correct, no SPs.

It’s still too early to say, but I’d say it will either burn too quickly and I will feel crushed or there will be a divorce.

 

[Sylar]

New girl and SPs aside, if there is no love in the marriage a divorce might not be the worst thing, especially if the children are old enough at this point

 

[ekzarh]

New girl and SPs aside, if there is no love in the marriage a divorce might not be the worst thing, especially if the children are old enough at this point

I know, but the financial burden will be huge and some of my friends who got divorced during Covid still live alone and are not really flourishing..

 

[ekzarh]

Can't agree more....getting older ''an happy/lasting relationship is built around more than just sex'.........avec les années l'amour prend différents visages.....outre le sexe la communication/compréhension et le plaisir de vivre ensemble deviennent des éléments essentiels.....on est comblé par la vie quand ça se produit....nous sommes alors privilégié....

I would have agreed 15y ago - as what you’re saying can work for a number of years…

But if there is no passion and you live like roommates with occasional (and rare, lol) benefits - after 10y you end-up on this forum …

 

[ekzarh]

its all an illusion if your little boy had sex for 3 days non stop he's in love but that won't last i hope the connection you talk about is real because that's the only thing that could keep you together and when real life kicks in you are desperatly going to need to remind yourself of that, being in a relationship is all about how much both parties are willing to compremize for each other, sorry but thats reality

Only time will tell if the connection is real and long-lasting.

To be honest my main fears are that due to the difference in the sexual energy due to age gap I will not be to satisfy in the long run.

And the fact that I could go and see a different new SP every week or even twice a week provides that extra excitement that I will no longer have.

P.S.
As I mentioned to someone else I cannot have all 3 things going and will not go see my favourite SPs anymore.

 

[Allnitelong]

Only time will tell if the connection is real and long-lasting.

To be honest my main fears are that due to the difference in the sexual energy due to age gap I will not be to satisfy in the long run.

And the fact that I could go and see a different new SP every week or even twice a week provides that extra excitement that I will no longer have.

P.S.
As I mentioned to someone else I cannot have all 3 things going and will not go see my favourite SPs anymore.

Is this young lady being compensated in any way? Where n how did u meet?

 

[ekzarh]

I’m giving myself permission to jump into this thread because it’s sounding like a personal experience that I had a few years ago.

As someone who dated a married guy in his 50’s while I was barely legal I will never do that error Again in my life. Don’t waste the young lady time unless you are clear with your intentions: just sex and no real love; purely transactional. Type of SB-SD relationship.
With time we get closer and feelings gets stronger. 90% of the time if you are not clear on the expectations and constantly reminding them it will end up really bad and you will end up loosing both her and your wife. As well as your children respect. (If she is crazy enough to show up at your house or stalk you online and blackmail you).

In my case I didn’t knew he was still married. When time was passing he said he was into a divorce process and separated. He promised me he was going to get a divorce and he met my family and everything was perfect. At first I didn’t want to put myself in between a mariage but since he was already divorcing why not ?
It was getting serious. But guess what?
He never really discussed about the divorce thing to his wife while we were 2 years into our relationship. I was fully committed to him but when I knew he was not able to divorce his wife for me I decided I wasn’t going to put my hopes into a married man who is wasting my time and youth. Things got more dirty after that! Multiple times I wanted to call his wife and tell her the garbage she had married but I will think of the hurt I will bring her and the hurt I will bring myself and just walk out of this situation.

He is still with his wife and unhappy marriage because of the financial burden and just too scared to end his life alone or try his love story with a younger lady. He is choosing safety and it’s probably wise especially at his age.


Advice to you : Unless you are already signing divorce papers or officially single please don’t put yourself into a New Romantic relationship.
Don’t trick the young lady into this mess! It will hurt her so deeply if she is really committed to you. If you know deep down it won’t last long and don’t want to put your marriage at risk let her know right now. If she decide to stay (which I don’t think she will) then go on but be careful. Lies always catches you! Good luck!

(I was unlucky lucky to experience a lot of hard situations at a young age and now I’m able to put high standards and boundaries when I’m trying to date someone)!

She knows I am married and I explained similar things to her and we decided to go and see where it takes, I did not make any promises.

 

[ekzarh]

As for seeing SP’s it’s different! You are paying for a service and even if feelings gets involved it would be easier to cut it off compared to a real « girl friend »!

I was ready to do crazy things to keep that man for myself but it was already a failed relationship from the beginning and I was blind or naive by « love » and hide the truth to my family. Because they would have never let me date a married man! We were talking about moving in together; visit my country and have our traditional wedding (that man gave me a ring); babies names etc!!!! Yeah it went that far so play safe with this situation.

I still develop feelings to someone I saw more than twice, I just know it will not get us anywhere..

 

[ekzarh]

As for seeing SP’s it’s different! You are paying for a service and even if feelings gets involved it would be easier to cut it off compared to a real « girl friend »!

I was ready to do crazy things to keep that man for myself but it was already a failed relationship from the beginning and I was blind or naive by « love » and hide the truth to my family. Because they would have never let me date a married man! We were talking about moving in together; visit my country and have our traditional wedding (that man gave me a ring); babies names etc!!!! Yeah it went that far so play safe with this situation.

We did talk about baby names, but not specific to us, she told me which one she likes ..

Question to you about your experience with this man - how quickly did your sex life progress and did you have that expectation from him to do it more than 2-3 times a day (as that it what you were used to with previous similar age partners)

Who was initiating intimacy?

 

[Allnitelong]

Wake up, you’re not in a movie this is life get back to reality

 

[ekzarh]

Wake up, you’re not in a movie this is life get back to reality

I do not want to, lol

 

[rascar-capac]

Il semble que tu te préoccupes plus sur sa satisfaction sexuelle que n'importe quoi d'autres
3-4 fois par jours ça tient un temps ensuite la cadence diminue.
Ceci dit, tu as 1 langue, 2 mains, 10 doigts si tu sais bien tant servir tu peux satisfaire n'importe quelle femme avec ça (ou presque)
Même si c'est trop mou a ton goût who cares sauf toi.

 

[ekzarh]

Il semble que tu te préoccupes plus sur sa satisfaction sexuelle que n'importe quoi d'autres
3-4 fois par jours ça tient un temps ensuite la cadence diminue.
Ceci dit, tu as 1 langue, 2 mains, 10 doigts si tu sais bien tant servir tu peux satisfaire n'importe quelle femme avec ça (ou presque)
Même si c'est trop mou a ton goût who cares sauf toi.

Satisfying is not the problem, it’s exactly the thing with “cadence” that I didn’t experience for 20+ years. She initiates intimacy way more than I am used to and in end of the day I’m left feeling “used”, lol

Hence the “old & seasoned” remark and the fear of me loosing interest and her feeling it. If I am straightforward about this with her it will disappoint her …

And lastly - had I been a faithful husband and never discovered this forum I would have never had the thoughts of comparing her to other indy & agency ladies …

 

[hendrix0199]

So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here

Remember this, never let your wife or girlfriend get in the way of true love.

 

[antoine.bible]

We did talk about baby names

Omg... What a mess lol...

 

[AirBo]

She knows I am married and I explained similar things to her and we decided to go and see where it takes, I did not make any promises.

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.

I did not make any promises.

Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

 

[marky1234]

So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here

Does your new flame know that you fucked hundreds of girls younger than her before meeting her?

 

[ekzarh]

Does your new flame know that you fucked hundreds of girls younger than her before meeting her?

Do you think I should really mention that? Would you have?

P.S.
Not much younger and some were older ..

 

[ekzarh]

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.



Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

What you would have done?

I think my wife kind of suspects it, as I was asked why I look so happy when I am on my phone ..

 

[ekzarh]

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.



Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

I do.