do you have more examples of recurrent "annoyances"? obviously not abuse or violence or stalking or anything that will put you on a black list. but things you disliked to a point of "I don't want to see him again", but without crossing the black list level
Here is my personal list.. Keep in mind that I tend to give people many chances and I like to have an open dialogue with clients in order to have a good experience
These are pet peeves and things that may lead to a conversation or not wanting to see someone again
-When I can tell someone is becoming obsessed with me and developing feelings and expectations that shouldn't exist.. It doesn't lead to good situations at all. One sign of this is when somebody seems to be ''doing too much'' and the generosity doesn't feel genuine, and when it seems like the person is going beyond his own budget.. I fear that it will lead to resentment. Keep in mind I have pretty good intuition and I can tell when someone is just being kind and loving towards me as opposed to another involuntarily trying to manipulate.. Sometimes that will involve things that go beyond my boundaries and drain my energy. My biggest issue with this is that it could lead to resentment
-Very connected to my first concern, when someone asks for discounts, tries to customize sessions to pay the least possible, or pushes for free time.. I can say the same thing about someone who is expecting conversations between bookings and constant interactions.. To be fair when I get along with a client I may feel compelled to interact with him a lot outside of bookings if he tries to reach me ma lot, but I often end up feeling like I hit a wall.. Sometimes guys ask for more just because they're cheap and not because they're obsessed, and it's often accompanied with an overall disrespectful attitude
-Things that make me feel like confidentiality is breached. For instance, when a client tells me personal info about other providers, when he talks about his experiences with colleagues, or makes comments about them.. Particularly negative comments. If he is gossiping to me about others, he will do the same to me. I also feel uncomfortable when clients will post anecdotes about me or repeat things I said to him without naming me. It makes me really uncomfortable. I see a lot of clients do this here and it can lead to gossip.. honestly being overly present on the boards isn't a deal breaker necessarily, but in some contexts it can feel awkward. Like this isn't a spectacle..
-When clients don't seem mindful of my physical comfort during intimacy. If I am in pain during bookings or I end up in pain at the end of a booking, I will dread seeing him again, or just might not. I don't want to address this on my own review thread but someone left a vague negative comment about me recently.. I found out who it is and I remember the intimacy was very rough and unpleasant and I just felt like an object. This is something that happens very rarely nowadays. Sometimes clients don't mean harm but they are clumsy and rough, and I don't think it's that hard to learn to be a bit more delicate.. Another issue is boundary pushing. A lot of clients think all providers will tolerate the same, but it's not the case.. and I think it's up to the client to pick the right provider for his needs
-A client just generally having a cold, judgemental or negative attitude.. I've had clients come in and offer 0 politeness, just make weird passive aggressive remarks, pass judgements on how I work etc. This is once again very rare, but after 2 times I usually don't want to see him anymore.
-Somebody being late frequently and wanting the extra time or somebody always taking a really really long time to leave. I told a client I had an issue with how he took extra time from me really often, in a very gentle way.. he stopped booking me after that. I think that says a lot
-When someone asks very very frequently, in an impolite manner like ''hey u free??'' ''avail?'' for super last minute bookings, or texts me frequently late at night..
These are pretty much the issues I commonly have to deal with, a lot more than straight up abusive behavior, even if it can be hard to define what counts as abusive sometimes
