People on the spectrum (like Aspergers) can be incredibly smart, but sound dumb because they lack social skills and have difficulties with small talk. Gifted people as well, very high IQ, but have difficulty explaining their chain of thought (and appear dumb). Also, some with ADHD because their mind is always drifting from one thing to the next and cannot focus.
OK... so I've seen you eaten out for your comments here.
I would actually say, It was threw someone explaining to me asburgers symptoms and that it now classified under autism to understand what branch of brain and social functioning dysphoria I had been dealing with threwout my life. Asburgers symptoms are still being ruled out in old dr's ASD testing.
Next comment on this is feeling called out so much.
I can try to express myself eloquently in writing, it's when I have time to slow my thoughts down to put words down. But when I speak, after every conversation I second guess every word I have said in my spontaneous outbursts. (I keep topics away from other people for this reason, I will try to only talk positively about colleges and clients I see, and to a bare minimum, and change topic asap, because no one wants to be talked about, and I'mnot there for gossip.) But oh the second guessing social interactions, and doubting people will still like you all the time because you might stupidly say something to offend, or miss they were bored while you were deep into the conversation.
I can't small talk. I can have big emotions with lots to express or be completely detached. What's the weather like? Open the door and step out, lets expierience it together. Communication is very much a hit or miss for me. And I'm in constant anxiety that it is always a miss, so I overexplain myself to rediculous measures.
It's not that I hate French, it's that I know as intelligent as I can appear in English, I am effectively "Dumb" in French. And it's triggering to feel so incapable. It's not about learning it either. It isn't like I haven't tried hard to apply myself, I did so much that it reached anxiety levels that I still just can't get it.