A lady with a kid in a stroller asked me for a hand out...................What to do.

[anon_vlad]

Another scam?

This morning I was walking out of a bank when I was accosted by a fellow wheeling a bicycle with a flat tire. He asked for money to go home by subway.

I had no trouble refusing because:
1 He was walking away, not toward the subway.
2 He attempted to be intimidating and scowled when I hesitated to think about it.
3 It also seemed fishy that he spoke no French. How many out of towners get around Montreal with a bicycle? I have no interest in paying for someone's vacation.
4 I'm not gay, so I don't see what he could have done for me.
5 I had just donated a larger sum than he requested to a legitimate charity, so I couldn't be "guilted" into anything.

 

[master_bates]

Generally I prefer to offer $ to squeegees than to panhandlers... at least they are offering me a service.

I pay them not to clean my windows, they end up making it worse most of the times

 

[mellonhead]

Handouts

Funny that these people asking for handouts seemingly have enough money for cigarettes, and, even worse...tattoos. If I couldn't feed my kid, the last thing that I would piss away $$$ on is a life-altering engraving that reduces my chances of employability.

 

[bond_james_bond]

This young, skinny, perfectly healthy dude once asked me for money to buy him and his gf dinner!

Not only do I not have a gf, I have to finance yours?! Unbelievable!

 

[JH Fan]

In which large cities in the Western Hemisphere is a traveler likely to encounter more instances of begging?

My experience is Mexico City is the worst, followed by Montreal.

Specially in winter time in Montreal I can assure you there is a lot more beggars than any of the big cities down south with 20ºC all year long or even Vancouver with milder temp.

Here in Mtrl, they are all aggressive because they are shivering. You can hear them repeating their request 2 to 3 times while shaking in convulsion.

Last one I met was babling something about being angry that in order to make more money he had to learn how to say please in french. Poor guy !

 

[Slippery]

Give

I agree with giving food, especially if there is a risk of a hungry child, as children do not ask to be born or get to choose which parents they get (fit or unfit, rich or poor, employable or unemployable, lazy or hard working). I also agree that is unlikely anyone is getting rich from begging these days, or enjoying it as a preferred experience. Also, we waste so much money on crap, that many of us will be a better person for having given one drop of what we have away. And if you're looking for spiritual growth (wrong board?) give when you don't feel like it, when you feel disrespected... nothing more humbling than reaching into your pocket to give to those who aren't "worthy" by Your self-important estimates.

 

[Ava Foxx]

This morning I was walking out of a bank when I was accosted by a fellow wheeling a bicycle with a flat tire. He asked for money to go home by subway.

I had no trouble refusing because:
1 He was walking away, not toward the subway.
2 He attempted to be intimidating and scowled when I hesitated to think about it.
3 It also seemed fishy that he spoke no French. How many out of towners get around Montreal with a bicycle? I have no interest in paying for someone's vacation.
4 I'm not gay, so I don't see what he could have done for me.
5 I had just donated a larger sum than he requested to a legitimate charity, so I couldn't be "guilted" into anything.

I totally know who you're talking about! He approached me once and acted the same way. He did more than scowl though...he got downright belligerent. I replied with a few choice words myself and walked away.

 

[drinkher]

I often give money to people on the streets. I don't mind what it's for. If you're in a situation bad enough that you feel you need to beg, you deserve my compassion and a symbolic gesture to show you that I care.

But in that particular case... I don't know. Something seems off. And the fact that she mentionned someone bought her those 4 liters of milk sounds like she was trying to put a guilt trip on you.

I'm glad if I can be generous with someone in need but not if they are trying to bullsh*t me. To me, that shows a lack of respect. And why should I help someone who doesn't respect me?

alot of desperate people have their little games and scams they play which they think
will help them acheive their goals easier{getting paid }

often this level of desperation will make one stoop to very low levels

still these people are desperate and in need

and if im willing to spend the the way i do on wine meat entertainment and women

am i really gonna miss the couple dollars every time im asked?

true generosity is giving without thought of return and more importantly without judgement

 

[Joe.t]

This morning I was walking out of a bank when I was accosted by a fellow wheeling a bicycle with a flat tire. He asked for money to go home by subway.

I had no trouble refusing because:
1 He was walking away, not toward the subway.
2 He attempted to be intimidating and scowled when I hesitated to think about it.
3 It also seemed fishy that he spoke no French. How many out of towners get around Montreal with a bicycle? I have no interest in paying for someone's vacation.
4 I'm not gay, so I don't see what he could have done for me.
5 I had just donated a larger sum than he requested to a legitimate charity, so I couldn't be "guilted" into anything.

I assume the charity was one that started with the letter "B" and ryhmes with the word cookie.

 

[YouVantOption]

I often give money to people on the streets. I don't mind what it's for. If you're in a situation bad enough that you feel you need to beg, you deserve my compassion and a symbolic gesture to show you that I care.

Scam or not, would it kill you to hand out $10.00 ??? Maybe its legit! It's the deed that counts!

I try not to question or judge... how different is this to when my purse got stolen and I had to panhandle for bus money to get home???? ...the people I approached certainly did not see any difference!

Thank you all. Exactly right. It does not matter what the downtrodden wish to do with the money, scam or not. If they want to drink it away, or smoke it in a crack pipe,or have a meal, they are asking for money, not a lecture, not more derision than they already feel. I always give when I can, because it makes them happy, and me feel good.

I recently found myself in a deleterious financial situation - my general call for funding amounted to several thousand dollars from friends. I doubt very much a panhandler could accrue anywhere near that.

 

[GTA refugee]

In the news last year.

There was a woman that was in the news last year in Montreal that was a regular outside a metro station in CDN. Someone that knew her blew the whistle on her. A reporter followed her to her appartment and discovered that she was living quite well. It was also discovered that she drove to the metro station everyday in a car she owned. The reporter also stopped people that gave her money and ask how much they gave her. It was estimated that she made $60,000 plus tax free because she was so consistant at being at her begging post.

I do not like to be made a fool of, unless I truely believe their story I do not give.

 

[anon_vlad]

I assume the charity was one that started with the letter "B" and ryhmes with the word cookie.

If you equate gambling debts with charitable donations, how is that your "religion" provides you with an excuse to not paying yours?

Are you having trouble with your windshield-washing business? Was the fellow with the flat tire you?

 

[Joe.t]

If you equate gambling debts with charitable donations, how is that your "religion" provides you with an excuse to not paying yours?

Are you having trouble with your windshield-washing business? Was the fellow with the flat tire you?

Yes it was, and do you blame me for being steamed ya cheap bastard.

 

[Sputnik]

There is a beggar at a mall near where I work, he is there often. He asked me for a hand out, I pulled a card out of my pocket and told him to go there because we needed people to work. He screamed that he had not eaten, I told him that I would fix him a sandwich and a hot bowl of soup. He did not say anything and walked away. A few days later he tried to hit me up for money again. I reminded him that I offered him a job, he got upset because there was no hand out to be had from me. These people are not interested for money to eat, they want to get high.

 

[pokerpro]

You're right...I know it. But I still would've given her the money. I guess I'm a sap--I give rides to hitchhikers, too, excluding when my son is in the car

It's not a big deal to me, and it is to them

I congratulate you on being a responsible father and not taking risks in the presence of your son. But on the other hand, you don't seem to mind that a mother is using her child, in cold weather, walking with a stroller in a parking lot with cars circulating and backing-up from everywhere for hand outs
If you give her money, do you realize she possibly returns to her appartement and gets high while taking care of her child?

Felix Leclerc, a famous Quebec singer and poet said '' la meilleure facon de tuer un homme c'est de le payer a ne rien faire''. Translated '' the best way to kill a man (or woman) is to pay him to do nothing''.

If you really want to be generous, give tips to grocery store wrappers, McDonald's cashiers, Wall-Mart lady who helps you find the best blender for your mom's christmas present. These hard working, minimum waige people are the ones who deserve our extra cash.

 

[YouVantOption]

There is a beggar at a mall near where I work, he is there often. He asked me for a hand out, I pulled a card out of my pocket and told him to go there because we needed people to work. He screamed that he had not eaten, I told him that I would fix him a sandwich and a hot bowl of soup. He did not say anything and walked away. A few days later he tried to hit me up for money again. I reminded him that I offered him a job, he got upset because there was no hand out to be had from me. These people are not interested for money to eat, they want to get high.

By the same flawed logic:

'all homeless people are men'
'all homeless men scream when offered a job'
'all men are not hungry'

 

[YouVantOption]

If you really want to be generous, give tips to grocery store wrappers, McDonald's cashiers, Wall-Mart lady who helps you find the best blender for your mom's christmas present. These hard working, minimum waige people are the ones who deserve our extra cash.

Yeah, OK. Homeless are obviously people who simply don't want to work. I didn't realize I was at the Fox News RNC blog.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124294047987244803.html
http://fastfood.freedomblogging.com/2008/04/22/mcdonalds-not-recession-proof-as-march-sales-drop/

How about, before people pronounce and generalize about the homeless, and beggars in general, they reach our to groups such as Head & Hands, Option consommateurs or the Old Brewery Mission and educate themselves as to the real plight of real people, our fellow Montrealers, before spouting cold-hearted rhetorical garbage?

You don't want to help directly? Fine. All of the above organizations would gratefully accept your contributions of money or volunteered time, and you would have an opportunity to meet some of these people you are writing off.

What would the Galilean carpenter think of this discussion I wonder. Surely not the way to celebrate his birthday.

 

[GTA refugee]

To give money to a drunk or a drug addict is to enable him or her, but to give food can also an enablement. While it is not the prefered enablement, the food still enables the beggar towards a intended goal.

We do not know if the lady with the kid in the stroller is truley in need for her child or if she is supporting a habit or is just a person that prefers to beg instead of work. She still needs to feed her child, so to give her milk, food or other necessities of life is to displace a cost that she would have incurred anyways.

There seem to be more and more beggars out there these days, you never know who to give to these days. Maybe the best thing would have been to go into the grocery store and buy them a hot chicken dinner, That way you know the kid benefitted from a hot meal.

 

[Mike Mercury]

I just gave a couple of bucks to an Indian or Pakistani or Middle Eastern woman with a chilld begging in the shopping centre. I think she had a couple more kids running around. She had a note that said she did not have a jobe and need money.

Well, at least she did not steal some Canadian's job, eh?

 

[YouVantOption]

Adding some colour to this discussion

I happened to find this article.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/03/magazine/03wwln-ethicist-t.html?_r=1