The only thing I can tell you btyger is that if you take your life away like this, you will surely never have a chance to make it better and you might seriously miss something good. If you decide to live, there will always be a chance for you to find a solution and be happy some day.
When my father divorced, he wanted to take is life. He couldn't live without a woman (what a crazy thought!). I managed to stop him two times. He tried all right. First time with pills, and I found him in time. Second time, he wanted to plug a hose to his car's exhaust pipe. I prevented it also.
Today, he's finally happy because he met the right woman 2 years ago. You see, if he had not waited, he would have mist it all. He had so many good years left in front of him. Now, he's not even thinking of the word suicide.
Life is beautiful and there are so many good things out there to discover. Why the hell waste it? Life is way too short! It's crazy to commit suicide when you think about it.
Be patient, the sun is bound to shine your way...
And just another thing... quit the nonsense about the gun! This is surely not going to help you and won't attract any sympathy... Remember that you have a son that depends on you. Won't do him any good if you're dead or in jail...
I know you already seeked some help. It didn't help so far? So what! Keep on asking for help. There is always a way to get better.