Ask us anything part 3

[Lunaseraphim]

I agree with you. But at least (to not say most of the time), many young SP exaggerate and the final result looks like duck lips. Turn off for me.

Lip fillers aren't meant for very young women unless they want to enhance very thin lips.. the goal is to restore volume that's been lost with age for women over 30, or to give a more youthful look to add a bit of plumpness to the lips.

Some people definitely go overboard and there was a moment a year ago when my lips were a bit overfilled and I had to be careful not to have this type of result.. but overall I'd say ppl don't usually notice or comment. Some clinics take advantage of their patients by offering cheap filler and they don't know how to inject, they also do whatever their clients ask them and don't care about the results..

If fillers are well done they aren't supposed to be noticeable. Most celebrities and influencers have them and you wouldn't even be able to tell. That being said i think it's not really productive to judge women on their aesthetic choices neither it is to encourage such modifications specially for very young ppl

 

[Rebaynia]

As i said i don't want to argue (too much ) about this and i completely get the dangerous aspect of what you do.
On the other hand i really disagree about your choice of words "it is a really stupid thing", i know several ladies with which we had sessions where they were restrained and i wouldn't qualify their attitude and trust in me as stupid.

Fair enough. And I'm not calling them stupid. Like I said it is a risk assessment thing. And I also have agreed to things in the past I would never repeat with someone I am not committed to, or isn't committed to me.
I also know of professional subs, and have heard of the horror stories some have been subjected to for it.
The term is only used as a reference from someone who knows how bad things can become, from even people you trust, not even as a client aspect, and know that there are people who also don't get the option to turn things like this down too. It is a term used as how I see it for myself. Not a term I would use to describe their acceptance to do it.

Yes I am very distrusting of people I don't actually know, and do not believe in an hour here and there someone can show me I can trust them enough for this, but that's me. I have trusted too much in the past, not SWer related, and was taught the only person I can ever truly trust is myself and what I put into the world. If I have been taught not to trust a relationship for this, why would I trust a stranger I see sometimes for it?
My relationship now has been trying to open my ability to trust others, which how I screen, and the lovlies I have the pleasure of enjoying time with has been good at backing up his efforts. But I also am still on guard because I know the visits I have are not representative of most clients. Thankfully my sweeties aren't looking to test my trust in them. I trust them for what I need, I don't need to put unwavering, or unconditional trust into them. I trust I will enjoy my time with them, while I maintain my ability to stop anything if it goes too far.

 

[ChloeCoeur]

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

 

[Craic.n.banter]

For starters, it seems like your questions might also play along the line of questioning, that we can picture the person on the other end looking to just jack off to the mental image of the visit he is trying to plan, and question if it is a timewaister just looking to get off on this comunication, or does this person actually have intentions to book an appointment.

That's the first thought.

Second is, visits entirely planned out before we even meet in person, is trying to fulfill a pre-established expectation to live up to, rather than to just expierience the moment. We don't want to fill a role.

There is a matter of fact ways to discuss these things, but many providers find all these questions too time-consuming, for what might likely lead to no visit. It's 1 thing if the providers seen you before, and knows you are serious in your questions for followup appointments. But for a first timer... There are a lot of people who will reach out ask many questions and never follow threw, you might be redflagging yourself before the initial visit ever happens.

We don't want to lay every one of our cards on the table. People who ask us so much about our boundaries, is often looking to push them. It raises distrust right away when what someone wants to know is the no's, rather than asking for what the yes's are.

Thanks so much. (Your past experiences would have never occurred to me.) Your thoughts are super helpful!

 

[Craic.n.banter]

I like direct and clear communication during the booking process as well but really often when clients ask too many questions that feel unnecessary it feels like they are wasting our time and trying to sext for free.

Personally I feel like if you know what services a SP provides, it's unnecessary to ask these types of questions unless we're talking about kink.. and even then I feel like it's better to discuss these details in person at the beginning of the booking.

This is just me but I don't like being asked questions like "what is a booking with you like" because I prefer if the client sees for himself.. having a very long discussion about the booking often makes me feel like the client will be finicky .. more questions and more comments just feel like an excuse to keep talking to me. And in my experience when I set a boundary with a client like this they get mad and cancel.

I prefer if a client is clear about his expectations. If it doesn't match what I'm comfortable offering, I will let him know. When I've made exceptions for clients like crossing a personal boundary or offering a service I no longer offer I've almost always regretted it.. it's often been a bad experience. Same thing when I follow through with a client who asked too many questions and seemed skeptical or pushy ...

Good to know. I don’t have a lot of experience booking independently (noob here) and so far I was only thinking about my experience with in-person conversations.
(with the Montreal Unicorn Healers as well, the initial exchange of checklists was just setting the stage for the following in-person conversation.)
In any case, what you say really reinforces my trust and fondness for repeat visits. In any relationship, for me, kink typically happens later after several dates. And with return-/repeat-bookings everything vanilla gets so much more intimate as two people learn about each other’s bodies, hearts and minds

 

[twenty4seven]

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

Tough one bc he's clearly all tuckered out but I guess standard nap time (15-20 min) seems like a reasonable time to then gently rouse him. If he wants to keep sleeping after that, it's a conscious choice to spend the rest of the session like that.

 

[Sean007]

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

I would also say 15 minutes ish would be enough and then he can décide how the end of the date will go, still sleepimg or moré actively cuddling ;-)

 

[S.S neo]

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

Until spring preferably

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Until spring preferably

Damn I feel you

 

[Rebaynia]

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

I have 1 sweety who books for 2-3 hrs when he books. He finishes his enjoyment within about 15 minutes, but likes to cuddle while he sleeps the rest of the time away.
Often the appointment is after he's pulled an all nighter, he cums, and likes the feeling of being held while he sleeps until my alarm sounds. If he wakes up before the alarm sounds he has dismissed me early, but I enjoy the sleepy time cuddles, so long as the tv is on to keep me entertained. It's not fun being alone with my thoughts otherwise.

 

[DouMan]

I have 1 sweety who books for 2-3 hrs when he books. He finishes his enjoyment within about 15 minutes, but likes to cuddle while he sleeps the rest of the time away.
Often the appointment is after he's pulled an all nighter, he cums, and likes the feeling of being held while he sleeps until my alarm sounds. If he wakes up before the alarm sounds he has dismissed me early, but I enjoy the sleepy time cuddles, so long as the tv is on to keep me entertained. It's not fun being alone with my thoughts otherwise.

Wow that is really kind and thoughtful, even in the way it is written. Talk about GFE, this is GFE ++

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I have 1 sweety who books for 2-3 hrs when he books. He finishes his enjoyment within about 15 minutes, but likes to cuddle while he sleeps the rest of the time away.
Often the appointment is after he's pulled an all nighter, he cums, and likes the feeling of being held while he sleeps until my alarm sounds. If he wakes up before the alarm sounds he has dismissed me early, but I enjoy the sleepy time cuddles, so long as the tv is on to keep me entertained. It's not fun being alone with my thoughts otherwise.

This story made my day

 

[Rebaynia]

This story made my day

I don't get to see him often. But I adore when I do. There's something precious about someone feeling so comfortable with you, that they fall asleep so soundly, and he's so cuddly, it's almost a shame if I wake him before the time runs out.

 

[3Risback]

i have been thinking if i should ever say this outloud but i do have a question about how to approach my situation or atleast what to look before approaching SP, so my issue is kinda simple i lack experience in general and i am 30+, and that is because i watch alot of porn and i do tend to jerk off and cum multiple times a day, i had an experience before with an SP so basically when i am getting a HJ or BJ i am great and ready and hard but the moment i get to penetration i just go limp and the issue is that this has affect me very deeply to the point i am scared of intimacy in general and i am scarred of letting a women close or sharing a bed with her in fear of her figuring this out, playing porn does help to a degree but it is not really respectful to be with a girl and play porn i have tried to stop jerking off and watching but i cant seem to get it done past 2 weeks and that has ruined relationship before they have become physical.
So my question is this something that can be coach out of me i am physically in great shape and everything is working but mentally i am anxious and scarred and i put so much pressure on me, i am not sure i can do it alone. and if yes how do i present the situation to an SP

 

[Zero_Six]

i have been thinking if i should ever say this outloud but i do have a question about how to approach my situation or atleast what to look before approaching SP, so my issue is kinda simple i lack experience in general and i am 30+, and that is because i watch alot of porn and i do tend to jerk off and cum multiple times a day, i had an experience before with an SP so basically when i am getting a HJ or BJ i am great and ready and hard but the moment i get to penetration i just go limp and the issue is that this has affect me very deeply to the point i am scared of intimacy in general and i am scarred of letting a women close or sharing a bed with her in fear of her figuring this out, playing porn does help to a degree but it is not really respectful to be with a girl and play porn i have tried to stop jerking off and watching but i cant seem to get it done past 2 weeks and that has ruined relationship before they have become physical.
So my question is this something that can be coach out of me i am physically in great shape and everything is working but mentally i am anxious and scarred and i put so much pressure on me, i am not sure i can do it alone. and if yes how do i present the situation to an SP

Sounds like you might be suffering from death-grip syndrome. A lot of guys squeeze their dick way too hard when jerking off. If you're doing that multiple times per day, your dick is going to adjust to that and be unable to get hard from lighter sensations.

The cure is to adjust how you masturbate. Stop gripping it like you're trying to strangle the jizz out of your dick. Perhaps invest in some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrating wand and use that instead. You might find it difficult to climax with the new methods but you must fight the urge to revert to your old method. If you don't climax, you don't climax. Keep to this and your dick's sensitivty should adjust.

Could also just be performance anxiety. IDK how to fix that but a lot of guys have difficulty getting/staying hard with new partners.

Also, maybe try some viagra/cialis. No shame in it. I've had to bust out the dick pills a couple times.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

i have been thinking if i should ever say this outloud but i do have a question about how to approach my situation or atleast what to look before approaching SP, so my issue is kinda simple i lack experience in general and i am 30+, and that is because i watch alot of porn and i do tend to jerk off and cum multiple times a day, i had an experience before with an SP so basically when i am getting a HJ or BJ i am great and ready and hard but the moment i get to penetration i just go limp and the issue is that this has affect me very deeply to the point i am scared of intimacy in general and i am scarred of letting a women close or sharing a bed with her in fear of her figuring this out, playing porn does help to a degree but it is not really respectful to be with a girl and play porn i have tried to stop jerking off and watching but i cant seem to get it done past 2 weeks and that has ruined relationship before they have become physical.
So my question is this something that can be coach out of me i am physically in great shape and everything is working but mentally i am anxious and scarred and i put so much pressure on me, i am not sure i can do it alone. and if yes how do i present the situation to an SP

When you say you are scared of intimacy and letting a woman close it feels to me like the problem is emotional and psychological.. This is what stands out the most to me in what you wrote. A lot of guys are addicted to porn or watch a lot of porn and it can indeed affect your experiences ''in real life'' because porn isn't real. I think you're already going somewhere if you can stay hard when you're getting a HJ or a BJ, but if I were you I would ask myself why you have a mental block around penetrative sex.. Is it that you are scared of intimacy because of your problem with penetration, or is it the other way around? Could it be possible that your fear of intimacy is creating that mental block instead? I'm not a therapist but I think you could probably benefit from seeing a sexologist or a psychologist who works with ppl who have issues around sexuality.. I really empathize with your situation and I understand how difficult it must be to feel that way.. I really don't think this forum is the right place to seek advice..

I do think seeing an SP can benefit someone who has issues around intimacy and sexuality, I've often heard clients tell me that I or other SP really helped them gain confidence and feel like they are able to have a normal relationship to sexuality again, but we are not specialists.. However if you really want to approach this situation with a SP, the best thing you can do is tell her directly about the problem you're having. A lot of SP will be totally fine with it and will react in a compassionate way.. If they don't they are not the right fit for you. I still want to emphasize the fact that seeing escorts can't fix everything.. Yeah it can be therapeutic to see escorts, but you need to have the right frame of mind and in my opinion seeing a therapist who is chosen carefully would be a really good idea

 

[mrdynamo]

i have been thinking if i should ever say this outloud but i do have a question about how to approach my situation or atleast what to look before approaching SP, so my issue is kinda simple i lack experience in general and i am 30+, and that is because i watch alot of porn and i do tend to jerk off and cum multiple times a day, i had an experience before with an SP so basically when i am getting a HJ or BJ i am great and ready and hard but the moment i get to penetration i just go limp and the issue is that this has affect me very deeply to the point i am scared of intimacy in general and i am scarred of letting a women close or sharing a bed with her in fear of her figuring this out, playing porn does help to a degree but it is not really respectful to be with a girl and play porn i have tried to stop jerking off and watching but i cant seem to get it done past 2 weeks and that has ruined relationship before they have become physical.
So my question is this something that can be coach out of me i am physically in great shape and everything is working but mentally i am anxious and scarred and i put so much pressure on me, i am not sure i can do it alone. and if yes how do i present the situation to an SP

I want to let you know that you are not alone with this. I have pretty much the same issue as I have discovered since starting to see SPs late last year. Thankfully, the SPs I saw were very understanding and compassionate, assuring me that it is not uncommon. Just being able to talk with them openly without shame has been a huge relief and encouraged me to change my habits. I also bring this issue up with new SPs I meet before we get physically intimate so that we can both manage our expectation and the flow of the date (ex: "Before we get started, I want to let you know I have difficulty achieving climax/maintaining my erection..."). I also book longer dates (2 hours minimum) going in with the desire for companionship with a lovely lady, so that even if I don't achieve climax, I can leave still having had a wonderful time. So try to find other intimate activities with your partner that both of you can enjoy without needing to cum being the goal, and that could reduce the pressure to "perform".

It will certainly take time and effort to readjust the mind and body, so I wish us both good luck in this journey.

 

[LeDodo]

@mrdynamo @3Risback you guys are definitely not alone.

However I am more of the inconsistently coming ones (or not depending how you see it) during the given time if I can say.

I think we had the similar thoughts/worries of why.

I could go in length of what worked or didn't, although it's very personal, I would say in short and to simplify: go with the flow, find a lady who makes you feel "good" and enjoy the time with her!

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I want to let you know that you are not alone with this. I have pretty much the same issue as I have discovered since starting to see SPs late last year. Thankfully, the SPs I saw were very understanding and compassionate, assuring me that it is not uncommon. Just being able to talk with them openly without shame has been a huge relief and encouraged me to change my habits. I also bring this issue up with new SPs I meet before we get physically intimate so that we can both manage our expectation and the flow of the date (ex: "Before we get started, I want to let you know I have difficulty achieving climax/maintaining my erection..."). I also book longer dates (2 hours minimum) going in with the desire for companionship with a lovely lady, so that even if I don't achieve climax, I can leave still having had a wonderful time. So try to find other intimate activities with your partner that both of you can enjoy without needing to cum being the goal, and that could reduce the pressure to "perform".

It will certainly take time and effort to readjust the mind and body, so I wish us both good luck in this journey.

"Without needing to cum being the goal" is really important and I think I personally don't think it's rare that people have a difficulty to cum specially with a new partner or someone they don't have an emotional attachment with. Personally I don't like it when clients feel that pressure to perform and project that on us, it doesn't bring a positive energy to the booking

 

[twenty4seven]

"Without needing to cum being the goal" is really important and I think I personally don't think it's rare that people have a difficulty to cum specially with a new partner or someone they don't have an emotional attachment with. Personally I don't like it when clients feel that pressure to perform and project that on us, it doesn't bring a positive energy to the booking

Agreed. Besides, it's way more freeing and fun to just let the session play out organically. If you cum, great, if she cums, even better, or maybe you just spend time however feels the most natural.