Bad Experience with Escort? Can you outdo my Top 5 Failed SP Encounters?

[evillethings]

after a bad recent experience with an SP from GoodGirls ... read more here Hally @ GG... i started thinking about my worst escort sessions since i started hobbying.

i couldn`t help but laugh at some of the crap i`ve had to deal with, literally i had crap juice on my hotel bed sheets... that one WAS #2 until the cockblock experience i had with Hally recently, now it`s #3 on my list below.

so, share your list of failed or worst SP sessions ever... i know the veterans have had plenty and with time can talk about them now.

we`ve all been there and done that, and if you haven`t... oh ... you will experience a monumentally bad session at some point and think back to this thread. :lol:

 

[evillethings]

MY LIST OF ALL-TIME FAILED SESSIONS WITH AN ESCORT... congratulations Hally, you are now #2


1. Natasha 1997(?) Hamilton - my 1st escort experience ... she tried to finish me off with a HJ and told me the paste in her hand from jacking me was my load!
* she was built like a bowling ball with legs, now imagine west indian girl who goes to the tanning salon, wears white stockings, peacock blue eyeshadow, candy apple red lipstick and blush!??!?
* worse than the look and the LDL attire, she stalled through the 1st hour, shortchanged me on hour #1 (where i only got 35mins or something) and i had to book a 2nd hr to finish
* rushed to the finishline, but not just that, prematurely told me i blew a load and showed me HJ paste to back her claim... i think i know when i blow a load! :lol:

2. Hally 2012 Montreal - biggest cockblock from an escort ... an escort with a sensitive pussy??? so i can only look at her pussy???
* read the review... it`s still fresh and hot off the press from 3 days ago!

3. Alexandra 2002 Toronto - horniest, wildest anal ride... then she started leaking ass-juice on my white sheets.
* booked a LDL who specialized in Greek. she was high + i was drunk... great combination.
* lots of ok curves on her body, great ass for anal... and she liked to ride like her life depended on it...
* after a few rounds of anal, i took a break and noticed a not to pleasant smell... when i stood up and looked at the bed, there was a trail of ass-juice dribbled all over the bed sheets ... white bed sheets.
* needless to say, i told her to get the fuck out and had to leave housekeeping a sizable tip for that toxic cleanup ... i think i was going to tell them a baby had an accident but then just didnt bother with an excuse

4. Jo-Jo 2003 Toronto - chinese Bait & Switch escort who was supposed to be 21 but was closer to 40 who kept bugging me for a tip for 15mins!
* honestly, just annoying ... but to the extreme.
* after finishing on her face, and while she`s cleaning it off with her finger and a corner from the bed sheets, she starts telling me how good she was and deserved a tip ... stil with cum dripping off the side of her cheek
* for the next 15 minutes while i`m trying to shower and dress to go meet my buddies for a drink at Lava Lounge, this old escort is chasing me around the bigass hotel suite (think it was the 22nd flr of the Sheraton in DT Toronto ... had a killer view and resto on the 23rd)... she was killing any positive vibe i wanted to take away from the session
* i wasn`t tipping because (A) she was a bait & switch chick (B) her service was mechanical at best (C) her breath was real bad and (D) she was fugly and father time had not been good to her

5. Natacha 2000 North York - Brazilian anorexic who bruised my kidney while riding me in all sorts of CG positions with her boney pelvic bone - 3 days in the hospital!
* self-explanatory really
* a drunken SP booking lead to my encounter with Natacha, the anorexic Brazilian escort, scheduled for 1:30AM but she showed up at 3AM when i was semi-sober but so tired i was going to be more "work" than "play"
* she refused to remove her g-string for some strange reason... probably faster to do a guy, use a baby-wipe and leave??? i don`t know but the g-string was annoying
* because i was tired, i asked her to move to CG and man did she love CG and all variations of CG
* problem was she had the boniest ass and her pelvic and tail bones were crushing me with every bounce... not that i really felt much because she was also really tight for a 33year old
* the next day, i felt some ab pains and noticed some yellow/purple bruising on my mid-section... after a few hours of sharp pain, i figured i should go to the emergency room thinking it`s a nasty STI coupled with rough sex...
* the triage nurse sent me for scans and the resident diagnosed it immediately as bruised kidney... he asked if i was involved in a brawl or a particularly voilent hockey game ... i said, yeah rough hockey game!

 

[evillethings]

keep in mind, relative to montreal I have called for girls from Zodiac Entertainment (a known B&S agency) as well as Bodylicious (another B&S agency).

Zodiac sent me "Stephanie" back in 2005 and when i called and asked for "Jessy"... "Stephanie showed up again, but she had a "8" face and a "8" body, redhead, B+ and pale body and was built for sex. Lyly had a 4 face and a 8 body while Tatiana had a 6 face and a 2 body but man could that russian lady flex and bend.

all that to say, even the B&S agencies send decent girls... sure they're not the models from the photos but let's be adults about this hobby, the agencies are here to sell their product... of course they're going to use the best photos they can to bait you in... except one shop in MTL that uses those great real dimly lit photos.

 

[ManApart]

Hey, I'm pretty sure I saw Stephanie as well back around 2008. She was really good.

 

[HUNGHORSE]

ok so last night me and the boys wanted to order from xtase 4 girls.... we asked for top notch since we were going to spend close to 1000 for an hour, my friend said the guy promised something special. Let me tell you , the four ugliest girls I have seen walk through my door showed up. My boys were really horny, so 3 stayed, I went for a walk, and a fat, ugly, and overweight girl, took the walk of shame back to the car.

 

[Gentle]

5. Natacha 2000 North York - Brazilian anorexic who bruised my kidney while riding me in all sorts of CG positions with her boney pelvic bone - 3 days in the hospital!

My GaWD ! Sorry man but that's funny :lol:
Couldn't you tell it was gonna bring you some pain ?

Stay away from the Natasha's I guess !

Anyway thanks for sharing !
I'll have to think about mine and let you know !

 

[Joe.t]

My top 3-

1. Carmen- Mulatto from Satin Dreams who had gone Indy, completely ripped me off(long story), along with terrible service which shocked me because I was a regular client of hers(15 times) and the previous time that I saw her it was one of the best sessions ever, stalling, evading tactics as soon as I entered the room, she retired as a SP right after my session, my guess is that she was completely worn down and she didn't want to be a SP anymore.

2. Amanda from GOF/Angels/Devilish- As soon as I tried to kiss her she told me that she does not kiss, right then and there I should have ended it and kicked her out, the nice guy in me didn't allow that to happen, added to the fact that she was polite and a charmer, there is a reason why this lady does not have many positive reviews.

3. Mercedez- XXXtase/Devilish/Angels- She should not have been working the time I saw her as she was kicked out of the house of her abusive ex boyfriend the night before and had to move in with her brother, terrible, terrible service, another one where I should have ended it but again, she was very polite and friendly, fortunately my ATF(Caress) was working the same day and as soon as Mercedez left I put in a call for her and she came in and saved the day.

There you go, my top three, fortunately my bad ones have been very few because I tend to stick to the well reviewed ladies.

 

[hungry101]

My God I have had some bad ones. I will say it was right about the time I started coming to Quebec on a regular basis and I discovered MERB and the power of the internet. This made hobby life much better. I have never had a really bad session in Quebec. Four of the dates listed below are from North America and one is from Argentina Most of the time when I have had a bad experience It was because I was drunk dialing, trying to save a few bucks, or picking up a street walker. I am not quite as compulsive as I used to be. 1.) I do my research and 2.) I set dates up in advance. Here goes:

5th - Modelo's in Buenes Aires - Terrible rip off joint . I got ripped off by the bar, the taxi driver and the girl (See BA thread). I had "Gringo ATM" plastered on my forehead that night.

4th - A Craigs List girl from Georgia who was 2 hours late and then showed up looking like hell and was on her period. After I fucked her she said "well you just brought on my period." Bull shit! She was on her period and decided to work anyway (see TER)

3rd - An eros girl from Washington DC who had more rules than the PGA tour. (See TER)

2nd - An SP in Alabama whom I cannot remember her name. Upon entreing my room she was trying to call her boy friend/driver to let him know she was in the room and she kept dropping the call. She seemed really agitated by all of this. She spent 10 minutes trying to contact this guy and kept dropping the call after 10 seconds (I found out later the driver was her BF who's only source of income was to drive this chick from trick to trick). I asked her to put her phone away. I had bought her some fishnets and I had rented porn on the Spectravision. I asked her to put on the fishnets I bought her. She said she didn't want to but she would put them on if I paid her. So I did. We started our session (no kissing). I was sucking her beautiful tits and all of a sudden she wanted to try making the call to her driver boy friend again so I let her try my phone but she was still not able to connect. She was frustrated about the call and then she became upset (apparently there was a spat). She took off the stockings I bought her and turned off the porn and said "why can't I just be a regular escort?" I said "That's it. We are done." I took her purse and handed to her. I demanded my money back. She gave me my 160$ and I gave her 20$ for gas. I grabbed her by the arm and walked her to the door and threw her out. I locked the door behind me with a chaine lock. A few minutes later she kncked on my door. I opend it with the chain still affixed. She begged for me to let her back in and to give her a 2nd chance. She explained that she had never been thrown out of a room and Bunny (the agency owner) would be mad at her. I told her "That's tough," and "Goodnight." Bunny called and was pissed with me. She said if you didn't like the girl than why did you start the session? I told her my side and expalined I gave her gas money. Of course she did not tell Bunny about the gas money. Bunny understood but she did not have another girl. About a month later Bunny's agency was busted by Alabama's finest. Last I heard Bunny was still doing time.

1st - picking up a crack whoreoutside my room in Montgomery - what the fuck was I thinking!!!!! she looked good from a distance when I picker her up. I put on a condom and stuck it in and made about 5 strokes and she kept asking "are you finished?" yecch!!! After I was done (3 minutes) she grabbed the phone in my room and dialed a local number. About the first words out of her mouth were "I got money." Must of been her dealer.

There were plenty of sessions that didn't happen like the guy knocking on my door saying he handles the money while I hid in my room and didn't make a sound. Ther was the girl who refused to discuss services on the phone and then walks in saying no kissing, CBJ etc etc and I cancelled. She said "I'm going to tell the front desk that your dialing prostitutes." I gave her 40$ to go away.

 

[Siocnarf]

Here’s my top 2 (sorry I only have 2)

Crappy dates are not always the lady’s fault. A few months ago I took 2 hours with one of my favorites that I had seen a few times before. I have absolutely no idea why but I was totally unable to get it up. I was not especially tired or stressed so I had no excuse. I just did not feel aroused at all. Fortunately she’s a fun woman I feel comfortable with and we managed to have some fun anyway. It was nothing wrong with her looks or attitude, God she tried! Now I don’t dare see her again just in case I’m subconsciously not excited by her anymore. Its even more frustrating because it was someone I like and find attractive.

And this one I mentionned a while ago:
I went to an incall agency and when I knocked at the door it took her forever to open, but I could hear her moving inside. So I thought I'm a bit early and she's not ready. When I first saw her she seemed frantic like someone who drank a gallon of expresso. I give her the money and took off my clothes. She starts kissing me very wildly on the bed but she suddently falls unconscious. Before I realize what's happening she comes back to, gets up and starts to open and close the cupboards and the empty fridge like some obsessive-compulsive.

Her state was getting worse and she was walking up and down the room saying how hot it was in here (it was actually cold). This was in an appartment building, so I don't want there to be a fuss and put myself and the agency in trouble. She was not paying any attention to me at that point so I put back my clothes on quickly, walked out and called the agency from the stairwell to tell them to come and take care of her.

Now I realized it would have been best to stay with her in the room, but at the time I was worried of how she’d react if she heard me calling. The owner gave me back my money and told me she had just been with her boyfriend and don't know what they did.

Once again it was someone I had seen before and liked. In both cases I think its really more sad then getting a bad experience from someone I don't find attractive.

 

[Merlot]

... you will experience a monumentally bad session at some point and think back to this thread. :lol:

Ohhhhhhhhh YEAH!

1. 2005-Miss 15 minutes:

This was a high priced Independent, extremely well known, who had worked for Celines previously. A stunning sweet looking beauty with one of the most gorgeous bodies I've ever seen. Very well reviewed and highly praised consistently. But, apparently, nearly all "lookie" and very little "touchie". It was probably because I never push a lady to do anything, and never boldly say something like, chit chat time is over, it's time for sex or you have to leave. She talked while ignoring several subtly clear hints to start the action. I figured since every other Independent had been generous with time that she would give me fair action value by also giving extended time. But after a very long chat she finally said...I need to shower at x-time and you have 15 minutes left, what do you want to do.

2. 2005-Freakout:

Had possibly my most hard driving erotic experience with this one from Xxxtase. We went at it like animals with her panting like a she-cat in heat. As always I flushed the condom and evidence to avoid the embarrassment of the maids seeing it laying around. The lady freaked out because she didn't have the chance to examine the condom and test it for leaks, then left in a fit despite the hour we had remaining like someone had just stepped on her kitten. Unbelievable! Sexually I would have been addicted, if she was stable at all.

It turned out to be a fortunate circumstance, because I was still so horny after the shock wore off that I called the then DC and met a wonderful sleek doll I saw 6 times.

3. 2005-The Clown:

A very hot little slim cutie from Celines. Came in with food complaining she was hungry. During conversation she started insulting Montrealers, Americans, and some hobbyists. Insulted my wine too, then jumped up on the table and started guzzling like a drunk sailor. I managed to have some sex, but I was too put off to enjoy it much.

4. 2003-Here are the new rules:

Had a very nice time with this one from FKS during the first meeting. Though she was a little in love with herself, she was gorgeous with long thick blonde hair, wore some really hot white garters and stockings, had a beautifully tanned body, and provided a memorable experience. The second time she entered, we started the preliminaries the same way and I thought the repeat would be another success. When action time came it was...none of this, none of that, forget about this...oh, and that too. I have no idea why I didn't toss her out on her sorry butt.

5. 2001-The run around:

Private Lies. This time it was the agency, not the lady. The first time in Montreal I tried for one more encounter early in the day just before I left. I called the agency gave me directions, but I didn't know the city so I was a bit late, about 10-15 minutes. I called from a pay phone outside to confirm as previously directed, and the owner said she had already booked the lady with someone else because I was late. Huh, that fast.

She said if I still wanted an appointment I had to wait 90 minutes. I did because I had no idea if I would even return to the city at all...little did I know. All started well for the meeting. The lady was very appealing and very sweet and accommodating. We were just getting into it heavy when the phone rang saying the meeting was over. The agency owner had only given me half an hour when I had asked for an hour and the next guy was on his way. WHAT A BIYATCH!!!

That's all folks,

Merlot

 

[luv2kayak]

Uh Ohhh. I haven't had a bad experience yet, and that probably means I'm overdue.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

And you guys still hobby after those freakish encounters?
Wow you are made of stronger stuff then me loll, I never even came close to any of what you experienced ( in reverse obviously) and if I do I will have to reconsider my funlife ...

I have a question?
Were those bad experiences more at night or daytime? I chose to meet daytime because I felt the day clientele was more ,hum, shall I say '' normal ''and felt the same about the ladies of the night, I wonder if my perception is true?

 

[evillethings]

3 of my 5 happened after 1am (1st encounter, post-anal poop-juice, bruised kidney)
1 happened after 9pm (oriental bait&switch)
1 happened after 8pm (ultra sensitive pussy)

to your point Lily, i would have to agree strange things are more likely to happen early morning versus the middle of the day.

 

[malboro_man]

Top bad experiences in no particular order:

2000: Mtl: before discovering the spreadsheet and reviews....I called a 21 y.o. from an agency ad in the newspaper. She showed up 2 hours late at 2 am. I even went to bed by then. I opened the door. She was more like 30 and not very pretty. The nice guy in me did not want to kick her out. The rate was pretty cheap and I decided to kill the time by talking. She got annoyed and wanted to phuck. She tried to undress me twice and after the second unsuccessful attempt, got very angry. I asked her to leave.

2002: Mtl: before discovering the spreadsheet and reviews....called an agency in the newspaper. I got recommended a 19 y.o. It turns out she was 25 and again not very pretty. Again, the nice guy in me did not want to kick her out. I killed the time by talking (again!). This time, the girl did not get angry.

2004: Mtl: I got a girl by the name of Stacy from Asservissante. I think she was supposed to be 21 and new on the job. I tried to do mish with her. She grabbed my cock when I entered her. She didn`t want me to pound her. I cannot come when someone is grabbing my cock and I can`t move. If her pussy was sore, she should not have worked. I started using Asservissante in 2001 and I had pretty good experience up to this point. This was also before discovering the spreadsheet and reviews

2011/03: USA: This California girl from backpage, she`s supposed to be 20. I showed up at her incall (I was horny/stupid to risk a LE bust at an incall). The girl`s age looks about right but the photos are definitely not her. She does NOT

- kiss
- let me touch/kiss her boobies
- sucky sucky
- let me eat her
- let me cum inside her; I have to pull my cock out before climaxing

After 5-min without doing the deed (what deed; I am not allowed to cum inside her), I left. She didn`t want to be there. I get the vibe she doesn`t like me.

2011/08: USA: This Texas girl from backpage, she`s supposed to be 21. I showed up at her hotel incall (I was horny/stupid to risk a LE bust at an incall AGAIN!). The girl looks a bit older than her pics and not to mention her tummy fat. She spent 20-min packing her stuff as she`s supposed to check out after our session. I got annoyed and she said we have plenty of time. I didn`t pay to watch you pack! She does NOT

- kiss
-
- allow DATY

After 20-min of packing, the ``action`` began. She kept asking me to start/stop/start/stop....she just want me to phuck her so she can check out of her hotel.....totally ruining the mood....I got really annoyed. I should have paid half an hour and took the rest of the money back (I booked for 2-h). I decided to just leave after spending 5-min with her, without doing the deed. I lost 550 that day. Again, I am too nice. I didn`t want to cause a scene at the hotel, and I didn`t know if there might be a pimp nearby. She pleaded with me to stay. She didn`t understand why I was leaving!

I got a whole lot more bad experiences but too many to mention.

 

[Loblaw]

Never reach into a girls panties unless you know what is in there. I had a very nice S|P that was well dressed with nice lingerie. I reached into her panties and felt around. I was when I pull her panties down that I saw a huge brown mark on the inside of her red panties. She shit and pulled up her panties without wiping.

 

[forever newbi]

lol, cannot top that...

The worst one was this ex- eleganza girl, who is so passive that all I can think was"zombie"!!! spend her out 20 minute after the encounter, even I have to pay her in full. And she left her wallet, with all her IDs and cards in it. Such an embarassement when the buyer of my condo, an old lady point it out(I thought it was hers). John fired her later, something about health problem, so I have to get checked out and all, luckly I got the all clean.

A few girls with strong BO, a few walked out after one SOG, a few had their "thing" start during the section(that include the famous Karyna lol )

Also my very latest, this really really hot blonde, fart while we are doing 69

lol

 

[evillethings]

this is some of the funniest stuff I've read on Merb! let's get more... i need material for an upcoming boys weekend.

@Doc: you remind me why i've enjoyed reading about your adventures since way back.
@Siocnarf: that just happened during my session with Keli of 'ganza ... the flooded engine syndrome.
@Merlot: the freak out... classic head class that leaves a guy thinking WTF ... next time i'll just dump the load on her eyes so she can see where it all went :lol:
@malboro_man: thanks for sharing the cock-grabbing petpeeve... what the hell is with cock-grabbing during FS, throw a wrench in there too while you're at it. ladies, leave the stick while we're driving.
@Loblaw: gross man!
@ forever newbi: the fart in "69" ... roflmfao ... unreal! :lol:

 

[Stoo]

I'm fortunate but had an "interesting" session a couple of years ago. I was at a sketchy motel in Niagara Falls, known to rent rooms for "short stays". I booked a visit with a young lady from a well-known agency in town.

She arrived 50 minutes late, but looked hot. After a few minutes I realized that she was high or drunk or both. I was a bit concerned about this since she was very young... 19 I think...

Anyway, we did the nasty, and it was an ok session, although she was very submissive. I just tossed her around the way I wanted and she never complained. When we were done, I expected her to jump up and leave, but she lay in bed, apparently not in any hurry. I had a plane to catch in Buffalo, so I hopped into the shower. When I came out a few minutes later, she was out like a light.

Because I was pretty sure she was high, I tried to wake her up unsuccessfully. She had a strong pulse and just seemed to be sleeping soundly. Her phone kept vibrating and I assumed it was her driver looking for her. I was tempted to answer, but decided against it.

Like I said, I had a plane to catch, so I tucked her in, and headed out. Outside, there was a guy in an idling car, who I assumed to be the driver. As soon as I got into my car, I called the agency and told them that she was inside and fine, but asleep. I had left my key in the room, but I knew the owner of the motel, as did the agency, so they said that the driver was just going to get a key and retrieve her. They also told me that she had done this before, which made me feel better for some reason.

I'm sure I could have handled this better, but I'm not sure how!

 

[Lusty Pig]

Once I was with one and pulling out my cock from her snatch the rubber was covered in a brownish almost gravy-like fluid and it STANK !!!! She didn't know what it was.

 

[malboro_man]

Once I was with one and pulling out my cock from her snatch the rubber was covered in a brownish almost gravy-like fluid and it STANK !!!! She didn't know what it was.

It's the black oil virus (from X-files), ready to infect and take over your body!