Bigger girls at the top agencies: Supply or demand issue?

[Halloween Mike]

Because it's rather ironic that the only races or ethnicities they don't see are ones that aren't white. I've yet to hear of a provider who doesn't see white men, meaning that their criteria is always motivated by racism with the exception that if the SP herself belongs to the ethnic group or race (and thus trying to avoid community members) it is not racist.

Every once in a while this conversation comes out and the same arguments are put up.

1) Could have a black boyfriend
2) Could want to avoid street gang/pimps and its a known fact they are mostly non-white
3) I saw some SPs mentioning they had a disproportionate ratio of bad experiences with certain ethnicities vs other clients, so even tough they know they will also pass on totally nice guys, the business loss is not significant enough to not do it.

Ultimately its a very intimate service and they have a right to see whoever they want. Some SPs even have an AGE criteria because they had too much bad experiences with younger guys etc

This line of business is not being a waitress in a restaurant or being a clerk in a store.

 

[Vera.Reis]

Every once in a while this conversation comes out and the same arguments are put up.

1) Could have a black boyfriend
2) Could want to avoid street gang/pimps and its a known fact they are mostly non-white
3) I saw some SPs mentioning they had a disproportionate ratio of bad experiences with certain ethnicities vs other clients, so even tough they know they will also pass on totally nice guys, the business loss is not significant enough to not do it.

Ultimately its a very intimate service and they have a right to see whoever they want. Some SPs even have an AGE criteria because they had too much bad experiences with younger guys etc

This line of business is not being a waitress in a restaurant or being a clerk in a store.

As I've said, they can do what they want, and I can do what I want, which is call them racist.

 

[DouMan]

As I've said, they can do what they want, and I can do what I want, which is call them racist.

Some have refused me for my weight, yet another for my age.
Or if a lady refuses a John for a handicap?
What should we call them?

 

[Estelle-Laflamme]

Some have refused me for my weight, yet another for my age.
Or if a lady refuses a John for a handicap?
What should we call them?

Fatphobic, ageist & ableist .
Bigotry & discrimination comes in all sort of flavours unfortunately.

 

[Vera.Reis]

Fatphobic, ageist & ableist .
Bigotry & discrimination comes in all sort of flavours unfortunately.

He really thought he was saying something lol

 

[Vera.Reis]

I'm always amused that the people who call on their individual liberties to do something, will then turn around and get in such a tizzy when I call on my individual liberties to say something about it lmao

Imagine thinking people can't criticize you for your choices lol

 

[DouMan]

@Paola.valentina I assure you that you have all my respect with regard to your comment.

As we see there are labels for almost every form of discrimination or intimidation, and rightly so.

Such labels are applied as general definitions including all that, at a first glance, exhibit certain traits that fit said definition.

Labels are easy to apply but unfortunately do not always reflect real life.

In reference to my examples:

The young lady that refused me for my weight … the fatphobic
I know for a fact that her BFF is a +size person

The one that refused me for my age … the ageist
Has a circle of friends which include people of my age that she regularly skis, hikes and camps with

And the young lady uncomfortable with a disabled gentleman … the ableist
Her brother who she loves dearly is in a wheelchair for life

The preferences of a lady in regard to professional sexual choices may be different from their convictions, preferences and values in personal life. Many ladies may have deep down reasons for their preferences/refusals that don't necessarily warrant a general definition label.

Discrimination I agree, in any form is a terrible and dangerous thing and, with all respect, we must be prudent when applying labels which are also in a certain way a form of discrimination.

 

[Julia Sky]

Every once in a while this conversation comes out and the same arguments are put up.

1) Could have a black boyfriend
2) Could want to avoid street gang/pimps and its a known fact they are mostly non-white
3) I saw some SPs mentioning they had a disproportionate ratio of bad experiences with certain ethnicities vs other clients, so even tough they know they will also pass on totally nice guys, the business loss is not significant enough to not do it.

Ultimately its a very intimate service and they have a right to see whoever they want. Some SPs even have an AGE criteria because they had too much bad experiences with younger guys etc

This line of business is not being a waitress in a restaurant or being a clerk in a store.

1. Many girls have white boyfriends but still see white men. Invalid argument.
2. Many pimps are white men. Invalid argument, and a racist one as well.
3. Myself and most of the girls I talk to on a daily basis (hint : Many of whom are some of your favorites) have had bad experiences with white man at a much, much higher rate than any other race. Yet no one refuses to see white men. Invalid argument.

Do they have the right to see whoever they want? Sure. But we also have the right to call out racism when we see it. A preference can absolutely be rooted in racism.

 

[Julia Sky]

Labels are easy to apply but unfortunately do not always reflect real life.

In reference to my examples:

The young lady that refused me for my weight … the fatphobic
I know for a fact that her BFF is a +size person

The one that refused me for my age … the ageist
Has a circle of friends which include people of my age that she regularly skis, hikes and camps with

And the young lady uncomfortable with a disabled gentleman … the ableist
Her brother who she loves dearly is in a wheelchair for life

First example : this is kinda like saying "I'm not racist I have a black friend". It doesn't mean anything. A lot if people have fat friends despite still having fatphobic traits.

2nd example : Hanging out with friends isn't the same as having sex with them (???)

3rd example : doesn't mean anything. Internalized ableism is a thing. My brother is autistic but that doesn't mean I refuse to see autistic clients, nor does it mean I think of my brother while having sex with an autistic client. That being said, with handicap, it's a little more tricky because some people actually just don't have the knowledge and would rather you book someone else rather than risk disappointing you or not knowing how to help you if needed. Sonia launched a website for disabled clients for this very reason

 

[DouMan]

That being said, with handicap, it's a little more tricky because some people actually just don't have the knowledge and would rather you book someone else rather than risk disappointing you or not knowing how to help you if needed. Sonia launched a website for disabled clients for this very reason

So true and well stated.

Kudos to Sonia for the initiative.
Would it be too personal to post the link for our challenged colleagues who are members here? Maybe even make it a sticky in the lounge?

 

[DouMan]

Ladies may I say that you have all my admiration.

On most boards, blogs and whatevers we can sadly too often read a lot of bullshit written well hidden behind a keyboard. The ladies associated to the site have "put their panties where their words are".

Once again, I tip my hat in admiration.

 

[CLOUD 500]

@Paola.valentina

As we see there are labels for almost every form of discrimination or intimidation, and rightly so.

Such labels are applied as general definitions including all that, at a first glance, exhibit certain traits that fit said definition.

Labels are easy to apply but unfortunately do not always reflect real life.

What you just described is wokeness. Seems to be a thing with this generation, part of the growing leftist Socialist/Liberal movement. I am into WOC only, I guess by the woke people that makes me a racist.

 

[Halloween Mike]

1. Many girls have white boyfriends but still see white men. Invalid argument.
2. Many pimps are white men. Invalid argument, and a racist one as well.
3. Myself and most of the girls I talk to on a daily basis (hint : Many of whom are some of your favorites) have had bad experiences with white man at a much, much higher rate than any other race. Yet no one refuses to see white men. Invalid argument.

Do they have the right to see whoever they want? Sure. But we also have the right to call out racism when we see it. A preference can absolutely be rooted in racism.

1) The % of white vs POC in Quebec is not the same. There is many many more white peoples so the chances of meeting a friend or aquintance of your boyfriend is much larger when not white.

2) Depend what you call "pimp". I was obviously not talking of respectable agency owners but street gang pimps who FORCE young girls and woman into prostitution. Now im surely not on the front line of this obviously, but you can't deny that the ones we see in the news are almost exclusively of foreign origins.

3) Im sure this is true as well. But again think ratio. If they had 2 bad experiences with muslim on 5 bookings vs 4 bad bookings on 50 for white, then the % is not the same. They will be willing to ditch those 5 clients entirely and not take any chances because its an insignificant part of there business.

Personally i will admit i am really not into woke stuff. I know its important for you and its fine but its not for me. For exemple i won't hide that im probably what you would call a "fatphobic" because to me its promoting obesity. I am not talking being a bit "curvy" or such, i am talking morbid obesity. Im not saying we should discriminate against fat peoples, hell i was a morbid obese for a long time, and im not even what you would say slim now, but we should definately not encourage and promote obesity in society as its very damaging for the health. This acceptance and promotion telling being obese is fine is as bad as promoting cigarettes or such. The difference for me ever since i lost a lot of weight is so good. My body does not hurt anymore, im not out of breath in 2 minutes of exercise, i look better too (im obviously not a stud but its an improvement lol) and many more beneficial things.

Anyway...

As I've said, they can do what they want, and I can do what I want, which is call them racist.

You surely can. Does not make it true tough

 

[Julia Sky]

HM...

1. Screening exists if that's really a concern. Though I've only ever heard of this argument coming from people who are actually a part of the ethnic group in question (black women wanting to avoid seeing a black relative for example) and that's different IMO. Wanting to hide your cheating doesn't excuse racism, wanting to avoid seeing your dad is a little different.

2. You say "was obviously not talking of respectable agency owners" and welllll... this made me giggle because so many girls I talk to have said so many awful things about the agencies that you all love so much here. You guys are literal merb clients - you're not the ones girls will open up to about what really goes on at these agencies. The reason we mostly see black pimps in the news is because the system is fundamentally racist and black people get targeted and villified meanwhile white people often don't in similar cases. I could show you so many articles of white pimps, by the way, they just dont get as much attention.

3. Nah you're just wrong, you can't actually justify it. White men are violent and never get blacklisted for being white. You can't try to turn it around. If this was the actual reason, they'd blacklist white clients too. Or they'd screen. Screening makes you lose about the same number of appointments that refusing to see anyone who isn't white does, so it would be the chosen option if someone wasn't racist.

"we should definately not encourage and promote obesity in society as its very damaging for the health."

God forbids fat women became prostitutes, Mike. Go cry about it. Women need to pay bills no matter the size of their pants. Fat escorts have the right to advertise. Clients who like fat women have the right to meet them and have them as an option at their favorite agencies. It's really not that deep. No one is trying to make everyone become fat. It's just curvy girls existing on an agency website you're not going to die. You'll be ok I promise.

 

[Estelle-Laflamme]

"We shouldn't put labels on people "
And then they proceed to label everyone who disagrees with them as "woke" as if it somehow invalidates the well researched, nuanced arguments that were presented

 

[Julia Sky]

Exactly lmao

+ complaining that having fat people on an agency website "encourages obesity" is honestly just weird. Like ???? Don't you yourself have a job, Mike???? Does your boss encourage obesity because he hired you? How does this work???? Should fat people not have jobs at all, and no sex either? Should they just stare at a wall until they die or something?

 

[Vera.Reis]

"We shouldn't put labels on people "
And then they proceed to label everyone who disagrees with them as "woke" as if it somehow invalidates the well researched, nuanced arguments that were presented

The obesity is unhealthy crowd never seems to mention how being underweight is far more detrimental to health at much less extremes, like being 20lbs underweight is far worse for your health than 20lbs overweight, yet we are supposed to accept the arguments these people put forth as if they know anything about what they are talking about lol

 

[Fradi]

God forbids fat women became prostitutes, Mike. Go cry about it. Women need to pay bills no matter the size of their pants. Fat escorts have the right to advertise. Clients who like fat women have the right to meet them and have them as an option at their favorite agencies. It's really not that deep. No one is trying to make everyone become fat. It's just curvy girls existing on an agency website you're not going to die. You'll be ok I promise.

Complaints about fat or ethnic or colour don’t really make sense to me, nobody is under any obligation to make a choice that they are uncomfortable with no matter the reason be it client or SP.
My ATF happens to be mixed and in my eyes she is the most gorgeous woman in Montreal and I feel lucky to be able to see her.
My other favourite happens to be a gorgeous curvy young lady with the best rear end on the planet.
What they both have in common is that they are kind considerate young ladies who are a total pleasure to be with, to talk to, and yes they are absolutely fabulous and skilled in that department also.
There is more than enough ladies of all shapes and sizes and ethnic backgrounds to please every one, just pick the one that you like and leave the rest to someone else, it is that simple.

 

[Flabert]

Demand sadly.

Look at online dating. Create two profiles, one for a slimmer woman one for a bigger women and see how many messages you get. The slimmer woman might get 25x more messages. Or send a generic message to slim and bigger women "you seem smart and attractive". Almost all the replies will come back from bigger women. Demand is lower.

Am not saying bigger women are not sexy... just trying to understand the numbers here.

 

[Vera.Reis]

Demand sadly.

Look at online dating. Create two profiles, one for a slimmer woman one for a bigger women and see how many messages you get. The slimmer woman might get 25x more messages. Or send a generic message to slim and bigger women "you seem smart and attractive". Almost all the replies will come back from bigger women. Demand is lower.

Am not saying bigger women are not sexy... just trying to understand the numbers here.

Do you have any studies to back this ridiculous theory up, or is it plain conjecture.

The preferences of MERBites is not indicative of the general population, and it is a disservice to men to act like they only look at a woman's weight to decide if she is attractive. My tinder is way more popping than some of my skinny friends, and when I go out in Montreal or Toronto, I always get more attention than some of my skinnier friends. It might be my gorgeous face, my confidence, my style, I don't know, but don't let the preferences on here fool you of what goes on in the regular world.