Bloopers - Everyone has an embarrassing / funny sex story to share

[AirBo]

Anyone (clients and providers) who's been in this hobby long enough has a funny / embarrassing story to share. I have many...

I'll start with this one:

She was an SP, she was really hot, she allowed me to CIM... hard... she choked on it and most of it came right back through her nose...

That image stuck with me LOL (believe me, I wish it didn't)

Sorry, had to share I feel better now...

So, what's your story?

 

[Buttmonkey]

Thats called an Angry Dragon. Look it up!

 

[AirBo]

Thats called an Angry Dragon. Look it up!

They got a name for everything these days lol

 

[AirBo]

Hmmm, another story....

6 months ago ..

Booked a relatively known SP...

When it was time to meet...

I couldn't get it up alll...

She was a real trooper to wake me up but... To no avail....


I was so embarrassed...

Dude welcome to the club

 

[What's My Name]

The original post I had never heard of before. But the rest are all common and happen to many men.

 

[AirBo]

I won't name the lady

Obviously any name should be kept out except for self deprecating posts such as this:

I shared that story in another thread:

My 1st MMF when I was about 20 years old. My buddy and I had picked up a girl at Le Café Campus I think. Came back home, got naked and my friend was fucking huge. Still to this day the biggest erected dick I've seen live. It traumatized me for years lol

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

One of the most amusing bloopers I experienced with a service provider was when we both had cigarettes. I politely requested to come to my room.

After our encounter, I offered her another cigarette, and she responded by saying, "No, thank you. Mine is still lit and almost brand new." FML

 

[rando555]

Around a decade ago, when I finished, it shot up and hit the ceiling fan and got all over the room

The SP was laughing her ass off and I was freaking out because it got all over my friend's stuff

 

[AirBo]

Around a decade ago, when I finished, it shot up and hit the ceiling fan and got all over the room

The SP was laughing her ass off and I was freaking out because it got all over my friend's stuff

This is excellent! Thanks for sharing!

To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure that my thread would take off, especially considering my first post which most people might simply find gross... which it is!

I was almost about to post "Too soon?" when it actually took off

Keep it up ladies and gents... it might have been gross at the time, but years later it's funny when looking back at it

 

[Rebaynia]

Don't know if it counts as a sex blooper, but went on a call once to see a regular who actually has a pretty nice home. He was downtown and didn't want to head home so rented a cheap room in one of the motel/cheap hotel options downtown. Looked like a bad appartment building redone to become just a bunch of individual rooms with individual bathrooms.
My guess was used as a drug den..

It was awful. So awful in fact I couldn't help roasting the room the entire hour long. He couldn't help laughing the entire time as there was not a thing I didn't have some critical comment on, starting from the jankie busted up ceiling fan down to the icky sticky carpet. Like I said his home was rather nice, and was someone I tended to know to have nice things. I couldn't believe the room when I saw it. I did even make an animated attempt to check to see that the bedding was clean, at least the bedding was clean (I hope). We had our fun too... but oh what an awful room. I won't see him outside of his place any more.

I don't judge people or their homes, I am there to see them, not where or how they live. But I knew and expected so much more from this guy. His high taste in things wasn't left out from how low this room fell from his own usual basic standards. I'm not a comedian, but boy I felt like one that day. The material I came up with was priceless.

If he was a new guy and not someone I had seen a few times prior, I wouldn’t have stayed it was that bad.

 

[AirBo]

Don't know if it counts as a sex blooper, but went on a call once to see a regular who actually has a pretty nice home. He was downtown and didn't want to head home so rented a cheap room in one of the motel/cheap hotel options downtown. Looked like a bad appartment building redone to become just a bunch of individual rooms with individual bathrooms.
My guess was used as a drug den..

It was awful. So awful in fact I couldn't help roasting the room the entire hour long. He couldn't help laughing the entire time as there was not a thing I didn't have some critical comment on, starting from the jankie busted up ceiling fan down to the icky sticky carpet. Like I said his home was rather nice, and was someone I tended to know to have nice things. I couldn't believe the room when I saw it. I did even make an animated attempt to check to see that the bedding was clean, at least the bedding was clean (I hope). We had our fun too... but oh what an awful room. I won't see him outside of his place any more.

I don't judge people or their homes, I am there to see them, not where or how they live. But I knew and expected so much more from this guy. His high taste in things wasn't left out from how low this room fell from his own usual basic standards. I'm not a comedian, but boy I felt like one that day. The material I came up with was priceless.

If he was a new guy and not someone I had seen a few times prior, I wouldn’t have stayed it was that bad.

Really interesting! I'd totally be the other way around: I would be living in a crappy place (and would totally refuse to receive there) and I would rent room to make me look at least a class above lol

 

[Rebaynia]

Really interesting! I'd totally be the other way around: I would be living in a crappy place (and would totally refuse to receive there) and I would rent room to make me look at least a class above lol

He was drunk and didn't want to leave downtown to go home yet, wanted to see me and head back to partying after. He was lucky I even went as I tend to avoid downtown like it's the plague. Impossible to find parking, and high pressure drivers, but he paid the place extra so I could park behind the building instead of finding a spot on the street. Places there don't often offer parking either which is why that was the place he settled on.

 

[AirBo]

A tale of 2 keyboards...

There's a blooper hanging over my head like a sword of Damocles:

- On my left is my personal computer, where I'm being me​

- On my right is my work computer, where I'm trying to behave​

FML

 

[Rebaynia]

A tale of 2 keyboards...

There's a blooper hanging over my head like a sword of Damocles:

- On my left is my personal computer, where I'm being me​

- On my right is my work computer, where I'm trying to behave​

FML

Good luck and don't F*ck up... you don't want the naughty side comeing out on the work computer... unlike me, you have to keep both seperate... ahh the relaxation as I get to be as sweet, or naughty as i damn well please .

 

[AirBo]

Good luck and don't F*ck up... you don't want the naughty side comeing out on the work computer... unlike me, you have to keep both seperate... ahh the relaxation as I get to be as sweet, or naughty as i damn well please .

Damn you, lady

 

[bodick7]

Hum.... I did put my glasses on toilet bowl tank cover just before action.
When I got back from action, I didn't notice they were next to a hot curling iron.
The bad: plastic frame melted...
The good: I had one of the quickest session (I don't know why, I was so excited) so I manage to save them enough (nerd style Ha!Ha!) to drive back home and get a new pair.

 

[Thane]

Maybe 10 to 15 years ago I went to an incall and saw a SP I had seen several times in that place and another place. During that particular time she had just gotten a tongue piercing and told me that the bj experience would be enhanced for me. She was pretty vigorous and it was not really pleasurable.

Anyway, the next day I woke up and went to take a shower to go to work. I noticed that my tool was double the size. I started to panic. I went to a clinic near my workplace and the nurse and doctor examined me. The nurse looked at my tool and said OMG it’s huge. The doctor started cross examining me as to what happened and the nurse lowered her glasses and looked me straight in the eyes waiting for a response. My ears became red because I was nervous and embarrassed. The doctor told me my tool had suffered trauma and proceeded to drain the liquid causing the inflammation out of my tool. I then got a lecture from the nurse and doctor and left.

The next time I went to that incall the manager and another girl I used to see asked why I don’t see that particular girl anymore. I mentioned that the last time I saw her my tool suffered trauma. They looked stunned and asked What?

I explained the story to them in the lounge area and they couldn’t stop laughing. It was not amusing to me. Lol.

 

[bodick7]

Texted one my favorites about half an hour before arriving. She told me she was waiting for me to arrive.
I arrived and I was standing next to the backdoor, texted her and got no answer. I knocked...still no answer.
I opened the door, did my way to the living room calling her name.
She was sitting on couch, TV was on and she was sleeping... great... I guess I'm too much an early bird for a party girl

 

[AirBo]

I noticed that my tool was double the size

Find a girl to go out with with a tongue piercing then

On a more serious note... love it! Thanks for sharing... yeah you just reminded me I had things happened to my dick as well lol maybe I'll share later

 

[Rebaynia]

so I manage to save them enough(nerd style Ha!Ha!) to drive back home and get a new pair.

Ha ha I would keep them as is just to be able to tell the story whenever someone asked what happened lol...
But then again I like the shock value on people faces when I devilge a naughty thing I did ... so many good true stories who needs to make things up.