Continuos SP Cancellations and Your Time

[Mandouke]

Recently, I met a well-known SP whom I had seen previously several years back at the beginning of my hobbying days who advertises on Merb.

I booked my first appointment with her, but she kept cancelling it 5-6 times before we eventually met. I let it go, figuring she was genuine in her reasons for cancelling, and I enjoyed our session. This happened over a 3-4 week period before we finally met after her cancelling numerous times. It was frustrating.

Several weeks passed, and I went to book my second appointment. The same thing happened again after she cancelled the 3rd or 4th time after booking. I told her that was it, thanked her for her time and told her I was moving on.

I will not mention the SP name for any members that inquire. Having said that, it left a bad taste in my mouth. She gave many excuses for cancelling, including the time of the month, which I accepted as genuine.

What upset me the most was her obliviousness to the fact that someone else's time is just as relevant and important as hers.

Questions

Has this happened to other members? Details please? How did you deal with it?

How long would you let this type of cancellation go on before you laid your foot down?

Any advice from other SPs as to why she would behave in such a manner?

Is it possible she is suffering from a mental or emotional illness?

I am an experienced hobbyist now, yet there are sometimes I am thrown for a loop. This is one of them, and your comments are appreciated.

 

[hob12]

I'd say respect yourself a bit more and after the 3rd time someone cancels on you in a row, stop there.

Once? Sure, it happens.

Two ? Ok, bad luck.

Three ? That's a pattern.

 

[Mandouke]

I'd say respect yourself a bit more and after the 3rd time someone cancels on you in a row, stop there.

Once? Sure, it happens.

Two ? Ok, bad luck.

Three ? That's a pattern.

Indeed, you are correct.

The excuses were beginning to get very lame.

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

I think I know who you are referring to.

And if I think I know who it is I am not surprised.

I think I saw that sp 9 years ago it was pleasant at the time.

Fast forward to march 2022, it is like early morning, I consult the escort ads, in her ad, she would state she would be available starting from 10:00 am, and the ad is posted the same day, she posted it close to her available time.

Thinking of catching up with her at the start of her availability, texted her, I would like to meet her at 10:30 am.

Then she gives me the excuse that she lives up north and it will take an hour or two to get to her incall. I was disappointed, in my mind, I am like "why did she post her availability at a certain time when she is not at her incall yet?"

That in itself, it showed a red flag, I decided to see someone else.

 

[Dvsone]

This is why I usually don’t see indies anymore. Been ghosted and flaked too many times and a lot of girls seem to not be able to manage their time or respect other’s time… agencies cancel too but at least give you notice and are professional about it and haven’t left me literally hanging outside a location they told me to go to.

I suspect a non negligible amount of providers are independent primary because they are not reliable enough for agencies to put up with their antics.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

I think I know who you are referring to.

And if I think I know who it is I am not surprised.

I think I saw that sp 9 years ago it was pleasant at the time.

Fast forward to march 2022, it is like early morning, I consult the escort ads, in her ad, she would state she would be available starting from 10:00 am.

Thinking of catching up with her at the start of her availability, texted her, I would like to meet her at 10:30 am.

Then she gives me the excuse that she lives up north and it will take an hour or two to get to her incall. I was disappointed, in my mind, I am like "why did she post her availability at a certain time when she is not at her incall yet?"

That in itself, it showed a red flag, I decided to see someone else.

Most of us don't live at our incalls, but we also don't sit at the incall perfectly groomed and polished hoping someone will hire us. We don't work in shifts. This is why it's best to book in advance by at least a day or two.

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

Most of us don't live at our incalls, but we also don't sit at the incall perfectly groomed and polished hoping someone will hire us. We don't work in shifts. This is why it's best to book in advance by at least a day or two.

I agree but also she put a time window of her availability and I suggested a time to meet of the say "available time", but I would've preferred if she would be more honest about her availability

But yes, it is better to pre-book if we have someone in mind. But there are some days, the excitement is much higher when it is same day or heat of the moment.

 

[OutlawMonkey]

I booked my first appointment with her, but she kept cancelling it 5-6 times before we eventually met. I let it go, figuring she was genuine in her reasons for cancelling, and I enjoyed our session. This happened over a 3-4 week period before we finally met after her cancelling numerous times. It was frustrating.

I could understand once or maybe twice if it was someone I knew quite well and the change was days in advance. Anything beyond that and it's clear this person isn't treating this like it's a business and doesn't give a damn about you as a customer. She's clearly a flake and I would move on, quickly.

 

[Halloween Mike]

I will not mention the SP name for any members that inquire. Having said that, it left a bad taste in my mouth. She gave many excuses for cancelling, including the time of the month, which I accepted as genuine.

.

It would actually be helpful if you did.

Personally as someone who is from out of town, i think 3 would be the absolute max i would go. Its already complicated to plan a trip and have everything set, and as a guy who book well in advance when its possible, wich also have a near flawless track record of reliability in 15 years (only time when i had to reschedule was completely beyond my control, agency was nice enough to accomodate me and swap my booking on the next day) i think as a client i deserve "respect of my time" as well.

Now this may be blunt or shocking, but what bothers me the most tough is not being cancelled in itself, its when its done the wrong way. For instance being cancelled 30 minutes before ATA or less. Or when the "excuses" are so "creatives" that there is like a 20% chance at best the're real. I would rather have the SP be blunt and tell me she rather do that 3-4 hours booking including social time like dinner that came around after we booked than respect my 1h booking. At least i would know the kind of person she is and could adjust my "interest" in her along that fact. I know why they do it this way (they know we will try again to see them if we genuinly believe it was out of their control, while if she tell the truth she may lose that client entirely) but i still despise that its done this way. Just be honest with me. And stop with the ridiculous excuses... lol. We ain't stupid.

Im rarely in Montreal, so when i go, im gonna meet someone. Even if i was there for something else like music show or comiccon or whatever, im not gonna hold on to my $ and plan another trip in a week because an SP cancelled. Just going to Montreal is at minimum a 75$ loss in travel and thats not even counting that ill have to ask a friend to sleep at his place, book an hotel or do a quick in/out same day wich is more complicated than it look when you don't drive. I may try to see the provider i wanted to see originally on my next trip but its gonna be in a few months.

 

[Julia Sky]

I agree but also she put a time window of her availability and I suggested a time to meet of the say "available time", but I would've preferred if she would be more honest about her availability

But yes, it is better to pre-book if we have someone in mind. But there are some days, the excitement is much higher when it is same day or heat of the moment.

It's not about honesty. She probably posted 10am in case someone might have wanted to book for 10am in advance (say text her the day before or text her very early that morning). You can't expect someone to simply teleport to cater to your penis emergency, if she lives up north there's not much she could've done imo.

For example, I always post my availability from 6am-11pm because most clients book in advance. But good luck if you try texting me the same morning for a morning appointment. It's not a matter of us lying about our availability, it's a matter of you not planning ahead!

 

[DetectiveDavidMills]

It's not about honesty. She probably posted 10am in case someone might have wanted to book for 10am in advance (say text her the day before or text her very early that morning). You can't expect someone to simply teleport to cater to your penis emergency, if she lives up north there's not much she could've done imo.

For example, I always post my availability from 6am-11pm because most clients book in advance. But good luck if you try texting me the same morning for a morning appointment. It's not a matter of us lying about our availability, it's a matter of you not planning ahead!

I forgot to mention that she posted the ad the same morning, not days ahead, that is why I treated like a heat of the moment opportunity. It is not like a planned scheduling she posted. She posted the same morning, that is why I found dishonest.

Of course, if the schedule is posted earlier and ahead, then yes, it is on me to pre-plan. And I am one of those who prebook ahead of time when I want to meet someone badly. And of course, I attempted a booking the same day from an earlier posted schedule , then yes I would've been OK with it if I missed the opportunity

 

[Torycats]

OP I don't see why you would not share the name of the SP. This is genuine feedback that will allow other members to not waste their time with her either. No pressure, but isn't this the whole point of a review forum?

 

[Johnsnarky]

i had an indy cancel and reschedule 2/3 times and both times she offered to send me back my deposit. i should have taken her up on it because the meeting we ended up having was honestly comical how bad it was… $1200 down the drain.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

it's a matter of you not planning ahead!

Objection your honor. My penis is not planning ahead, not me!

 

[Crazy Horse]

I had never seen an escort before and the one time I booked one, she cancelled on me 10 mins before our meeting, said there was a mixup with her incall and the person she was sharing it with had booked the same time. She was nice and her apology was genuine and offered another day, just didn’t have time and never rebooked, maybe one day. I’m still a virgin when it comes to escort services, lol.

 

[Johnsnarky]

I had never seen an escort before and the one time I booked one, she cancelled on me 10 mins before our meeting, said there was a mixup with her incall and the person she was sharing it with had booked the same time. She was nice and her apology was genuine and offered another day, just didn’t have time and never rebooked, maybe one day. I’m still a virgin when it comes to escort services, lol.

so you’ve just been following this forum for 20+ years for fun?

 

[Julia Sky]

so you’ve just been following this forum for 20+ years for fun?

To be fair, he has been active in strip club threads. While this is primarily an escort review board there's more to it!

 

[Johnsnarky]

To be fair, he has been active in strip club threads. While this is primarily an escort review board there's more to it

not to derail this thread but it seems his posts about clubs were also in 2003 lol.

either way he’s allowed to do what he wants. i just found it bizarre.

 

[Mandouke]

Most of us don't live at our incalls, but we also don't sit at the incall perfectly groomed and polished hoping someone will hire us. We don't work in shifts. This is why it's best to book in advance by at least a day or two.

In my particular case, I had booked in advance 3-4 days with her, and every time, like clockwork she would cancel. The reasons were plausible, so I went along because I did not want to ruffle any feathers.

Finally, last night, it was enough, and I told her politely that I would be moving on. She then ghosted me.

 

[Mandouke]

I could understand once or maybe twice if it was someone I knew quite well and the change was days in advance. Anything beyond that and it's clear this person isn't treating this like it's a business and doesn't give a damn about you as a customer. She's clearly a flake and I would move on, quickly.

I can see that now, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. All the appointments were pre-booked and would always end up being bumped ahead the day of the booking.

It fucked me around so much that I refrained from seeing other SPs, so this type of behaviour comes at a cost to other SP as well as it is an "opportunity cost" in economic terms.

I now believe that she has emotional and mental issues and derives some pleasure from this type of behaviour.