GFE: To Be Or Not To Be

[starry]

I recently had what was (for me) an unusual experience and I was wondering whether my reaction was normal or unreasonable. I thought I would inquire of experienced fellow merbites for their opinion. I am active in the hobby and have a number of regular relationships all of which, except one, is gfe. My gfe relationships are all excellent and mutually rewarding. Normally I would not even consider for a moment any lesser level of service. I have however made one exception for a lady I just happen to like very much. I have seen her regularly for about a year and a half now and we certainly enjoy our times together. I believe that she likes me on a personal level. However she seemed somewhat uncomfortable when I tried to push the envelope and when I followed up politely verbally she seemed to say that gfe was not on the menu.
Certainly the considerable majority of her clients get her basic non-gfe service (which is pretty good for what it is). But it has recently come to my attention that she is in fact ymmv and that she can and does make exceptions for what I would guess are maybe her best clients or maybe clients she has special chemistry with.
My reaction was disappointment/disillusionment. I could not help interpreting this as personally insulting. I guess I have difficulty accepting being a second class citizen. Note most people would consider me not unattractive. I am also fit, polite and generous so that there is no obvious external reason why the service I receive should be limited. Clearly she is free to make her own decisions and I respect them of course but so am I free to decide. I do not think I will see her again. If gfe was off her menu for everyone I would be happy to continue but I am unable to live with the double standard.
My question is whether my reaction is normal, understandable and reasonable or whether it shows a lack of consideration and understanding on my part given that our exchanges are friendly and genuinely affectionate. Perhaps my coming as I do from a macho culture is influencing my thinking and behavior here. If any ladies were inclined to weigh in that would be appreciated since their perspective would be valuable and may differ from that of men.

 

[ssj3]

It's only natural to feel the way you do. That being said, the chemistry you might think is mutual might not be there for her. If you're not happy that some clients are getting more than you, I'd cut my losses and stop seeing her. If you continue to do so, you're more likely to get even more disappointed/disillusioned.

 

[heliragedeleted]

Very normal to feel the way you do. Magical thinking always clouds our better judgement. Now its up to you to cut your emotional losses or if your time with her does fill a specific need then stay and enjoy yourself.
It becomes a difficult choice the longer you are with a specific SP. They count on that for the revenue stream.
Although I'm a bit surprised, she hasn't given in to your demands to ensure your loyalty.

 

[CaptRenault]

Is she advertised as GFE? If she is and she doesn't provide GFE experience to you, then I think you should name her and post a respectful review stating that she does not provide GFE to all her clients.

I also think that now that you know you're in the non-GFE group of her clients, you should drop her as a provider.

 

[Anong]

If she is providing to others and as you mentioned that you are clean and respectful person and apparently no other reason to decline you, then in my openion stop seeing her. In Montreal , we have the biggest contingent of beautiful and excellent service providers.

 

[starry]

Is she advertised as GFE? If she is and she doesn't provide GFE experience to you, then I think you should name her and post a respectful review stating that she does not provide GFE to all her clients.

I also think that now that you know you're in the non-GFE group of her clients, you should drop her as a provider.

No CR she does not advertise GFE. She is a very genuine and honest person.

 

[starry]

If she is providing to others and as you mentioned that you are clean and respectful person and apparently no other reason to decline you, then in my openion stop seeing her. In Montreal , we have the biggest contingent of beautiful and excellent service providers.

Yes I also think we are spoiled here in Montreal given whats available and at what price. As mentioned I enjoy outstanding GFE sessions with a number of providers who are all repeats. They seem to like me a lot and I sure as hell like them.

 

[starry]

Very normal to feel the way you do. Magical thinking always clouds our better judgement. Now its up to you to cut your emotional losses or if your time with her does fill a specific need then stay and enjoy yourself.
It becomes a difficult choice the longer you are with a specific SP. They count on that for the revenue stream.
Although I'm a bit surprised, she hasn't given in to your demands to ensure your loyalty.

My understanding from speaking with a knowledgeable person is that she is much in demand despite the (for the most part) limited menu. I can actually understand that based on her extraordinary personal charm. Apparently she really pulls in the dough so I needn't worry about financial loss to her.

 

[jalimon]

No CR she does not advertise GFE. She is a very genuine and honest person.

As I have written many times here I leave it up to the girl to give me DFK, LFK or nothing at all. I tell them upfront when I meet them. For me sex is like a sport done with a sexy girl. I am not really looking for intimacy, more a fantasy.

I would say 20% will give me LFK and 10% DFK. I have my own theory that relieved from the strong intimacy of DFK the girl are more at ease to provide excellent service. 10% is not a lot, but when it happens (like with Taylor of Indy or Alyson of Euphoria) then I know they really want me

Nothing can impose the girl to like you, even if you look like brad pitt

Cheers,

 

[Halloween Mike]

Well if you are a regular and see her often, well this is disapointing she does not go GFE... that is if she really does it with some clients as you mention. Are those clients even more "regulars" than you? Maybe they book her twice a week while you book once every 2 weeks. I dunno just guessing.

In the end your post seem to show feelings involved more than really about the GFE services themselves. You are "jealous" (for a lack of a better term) that others get more mileage while you don't, but if she was only safe you would keep seeing her you say. Since those feelings are involved i would sugest cutting the ties all together.

As you mention its her decision to do what she want, but i tend to agree with you the double standard of GFE/not GFE seem odd.

But then whats really GFE for you, is that about the kissing or about the BBBJ?

Personally i have no interest in seeing "safe" gfe or non gfe provider. I think they only one i would make an exeption for is Pixie Dust cause she is a solo/lesbo pornstar only, and i know she have done escorting in her life in Gatineau, but all safe. I would make that exeption cause the simple idea of seeing her do guys exited me, i wish for years she would do B/G porn. So now the fantasy of doing a pornstar would be doubled by the fact its a pornstar i never seen suck a cock... and that cock would be me !!! So yeah lol for her, i would do this exeption if she ever come back to escorting and does it in MTL.

But otherwise, a BJ with a condom feel lame to me. Be it in term of dismished sensations but also morally unexiting... Its like she does not even want to "taste" you... Anyway to each there own but i personally wouldn't book an SP that i know is safe only. Also not to mention i like my kissing at the start, thats my "starter" , its what get me "in the mood"

Yes Montreal may have spoiled us, but thats the same in life for everything. When the standard is low, you are satisfy with what you got. Then when the standard become high, you could not go back to this low standard. I had a cheap phone for years, and i did the job fine. I could do what i wanted it for initial, that is texting and talking. But now i have one of those phone everybody got, and yeah i do enjoy the new options. I would not like to go back to my old phones now that i know better... Same can be apply for just about everything...

 

[ShyMan]

For me sex is like a sport done with a sexy girl. I am not really looking for intimacy, more a fantasy.

Sex is the only contact sport I can participate in these day. I played football (soccer for my American friends) and engaged in martial arts until I sustained a permanent injury to one of my knees a few years ago and I didn't want to undergo surgery.

I agree. Allyson @ Euphoria is a great kisser; she's a Kissing Queen. Nikita (retired) @ MSC too was a great kisser. DFK is a bonus for me and I engage in it during the heat of the moment but not a deal breaker for me; especially if the lady is a cigarette smoker -- I'm allergic to tobacco smoke. I usually save as much energy for multiple DATY's if the lady can achieve multiple orgasms. I've found that even ladies who are not into DFK's, if I'm good at pleasing them and we are have mutual fun, she would initiate DFK in the heat of the moment.

 

[starry]

Well if you are a regular and see her often, well this is disapointing she does not go GFE... that is if she really does it with some clients as you mention. Are those clients even more "regulars" than you? Maybe they book her twice a week while you book once every 2 weeks. I dunno just guessing.

In the end your post seem to show feelings involved more than really about the GFE services themselves. You are "jealous" (for a lack of a better term) that others get more mileage while you don't, but if she was only safe you would keep seeing her you say. Since those feelings are involved i would sugest cutting the ties all together.

As you mention its her decision to do what she want, but i tend to agree with you the double standard of GFE/not GFE seem odd.

But then whats really GFE for you, is that about the kissing or about the BBBJ?

Personally i have no interest in seeing "safe" gfe or non gfe provider. I think they only one i would make an exeption for is Pixie Dust cause she is a solo/lesbo pornstar only, and i know she have done escorting in her life in Gatineau, but all safe. I would make that exeption cause the simple idea of seeing her do guys exited me, i wish for years she would do B/G porn. So now the fantasy of doing a pornstar would be doubled by the fact its a pornstar i never seen suck a cock... and that cock would be me !!! So yeah lol for her, i would do this exeption if she ever come back to escorting and does it in MTL.

But otherwise, a BJ with a condom feel lame to me. Be it in term of dismished sensations but also morally unexiting... Its like she does not even want to "taste" you... Anyway to each there own but i personally wouldn't book an SP that i know is safe only. Also not to mention i like my kissing at the start, thats my "starter" , its what get me "in the mood"

Yes Montreal may have spoiled us, but thats the same in life for everything. When the standard is low, you are satisfy with what you got. Then when the standard become high, you could not go back to this low standard. I had a cheap phone for years, and i did the job fine. I could do what i wanted it for initial, that is texting and talking. But now i have one of those phone everybody got, and yeah i do enjoy the new options. I would not like to go back to my old phones now that i know better... Same can be apply for just about everything...

Well HM I see that you are an experienced bloodhound hot on the trail. You are right. Although I consider myself a "regular" (once a week, rarely twice for maybe 18 months) a lucky client that I am aware of has seen her maybe 5 years and at least once and sometimes twice every week. So I have to conclude that he is a "better" client than I am. And you are also correct that the feelings that I have developed for her (at least on my part) go beyond services as such and into the realm of friendship. However I am not at all jealous. More like I am happy for my lucky co-hobbyist because he is a stand up guy and knowing how lovely she is it must be great. I'm sure he deserves whatever he gets. Although not jealous, I can confess to being disappointed and even pissed off, rightly or wrongly. As for what services I consider GFE, well I can tell you that with no DATY, L or DFK, digits or BBBJ I know that whatever it is I am not getting it. I guess she figures that with CBJ, FS and some flexibility on MPOS I should be satisfied. I strongly suspect that the great majority of her clients fall into that basket. Like you though I generally need more, at least LFK and DATY before I can roll. And BBBJ is also a definite sweetener. In fact if I don't get these things I tend to underperform, so much so that after my sessions with her I have been known to immediately contact one of my other SPs just to make sure that I have not lost my edge (not to mention my self esteem).

Good to get your views and those of others as a reality check and I see that they tend to confirm the direction I feel I must go in. Would have liked some views from the ladies since I have noticed that they are frequently wired differently than we are.

 

[heliragedeleted]

Agreed. If you can get it, don't accept anything less

 

[fdube]

The way I see it is you are now looking for more than she wants to offer. It's her right. You asked and she is not interested (at least with you since she is offering it with others)To me it looks more like you should stick to the ladies that offers what you want. Remember that most ladies are only seing clients cause they are getting paid for it. They put their own pleasure on hold for the most part and have intimate relationship with an unknown person for a predermined time in exchange for an amount of money. Considering ladies use fake identity (and so does most of the clients), don't take it personnaly. When the chemistry is good between the two, you end up with a memorable experience, but remove the money from the equation and you would probably never have spent Time together in the first place. Il her standard service is fine you, keep seing her. If not, then it looks like your paths are splitting apart.

 

[BookerL]

My question is whether my reaction is normal,

Very normal and would had that you are very perceptive .
SP's offers fantasy make believe ,they are used in pulling tricks ,in the concept of GFE escorting ,they are entitle to choose ,with whom they will be more open-minded ,if you are satisfied you repeat if your not ,you move on to another one

understandable and reasonable or whether it shows a lack of consideration and understanding on my part given that our exchanges are friendly and genuinely affectionate.

In this business ,the money is real ,the sex is also real ,but the emotions Lust ,

Perhaps my coming as I do from a macho culture is influencing my thinking and behavior here.

I was seeing a High priced Indy
Had seen her many times for multiple hours ,on that occasion she was a little tipsy after a few glasses of Bordeaux ,she then told me about her last sex adventure ,where she had a amazing Greek weekend .
I caught on it ,and asked her for it ,she said I don't do Greek ,since she was close to be drunk,she had forgotten that she just told me about her sex adventure .

I left ,she texted me the after the schedule our next rendez- vous ,I already had a 4 hours dates with another High priced SP ,that had already told me by email ,that Greek would be on the menu for me at no extra cost ,since my emails where Gentlemanly like ,she delivered one of the most amazing Greek experience I ever had .
Adult Entertainment do have many advantages ,one lady isn't willing another one will .

If any ladies were inclined to weigh in that would be appreciated since their perspective would be valuable and may differ from that of men.

Good Luck
Cheers
Booker

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

If I met a SP more than once and was refused service she offered others our time together would end, obvious the chemistry is not right for her. Move on.

 

[CLOUD 500]

For me personally if no DFK was offered I would move on. I took a plunge on Backpage to test the waters took a 30 mins quickie... DFK was just not happening I ended it... I was ready to take her for two hours.

 

[JackFranz]

Your feeling is normal, just move on, lots of options there. Most girls I saw would do DFK, I am not fan of DATY though.

 

[BookerL]

I would definitely repeat with her but I would also not write that in review just out of respect for that girl.

Great thinking I do the same .If the SP doesn't want to promote Greek even if I had it I will not speak about it in the review .
Respect the ladies wishes .
Cheers
Booker

 

[Halloween Mike]

Lol guys i think its the same for most of us... Kissing as became part of what to expect from meetings. Personally i don't expect any escorts to plunge there tongue up my mouth but if she do it, props to her. As long as she is a good kisser and turn me on with it (enough to jack up my "mini moi") but there is many different degrees of kissing. Some SPs may just give you smacks on the lips wich could remind a mother kissing her boy... While other may still not plunge there tongue deep but yet kiss you like a lover and make it very fun.

For me all it matter is if her kiss are enjoyable... I can't plunge my tongue myself in her mouth, its anatomicaly impossible for me, so the bullet is on her side.

When it comes to extras ... either with money or without, obviously if she ask me to not post it i don't... thats a given...