Giving Head: "You go to my head..."

[harwell1690]

Hi,

It has come to my attention that many of us can learn more about this.
The ladies deserve better. No doubt, many gentlemen deserve better too.

So, I wanted to start a thread where we can talk about this, or share things, and learn.

For myself, I would say until only a few years ago, I lacked confidence in this area. I....and I am told this is true for many men in ladies' opinions....did not know much about what I was doing. Apparently I had gotten, by then, better enough.
Then, one woman, whom I still love, gave me a compliment. And somehow it inspired me to "learn to dance"...to learn how to have fun and more pleasure (for me and her) in this area. To be honest, it has taught me also how to be better at intercourse too.
At least according to some, I have learned a lot. The lesson: if I can learn (I am still learning), then you can learn (well, the average "you" (man, and probably woman too??)).

But, to the subject at hand. Or at tongue.

What advice can you share?

Here are 3 to start.

1. We are always learning. Relax and enjoy.

2. Start gently, and remember you are more licking her mind than her clit or her pussy. Gently, and build it up slowly. Song: Despacito. (Ok, maybe over-played by now, but it does mean slowly.)

3. Pay attention to all her feedback. Stay with things where her feedback is good... If low feedback, trying something new.

***
Ok, what would you suggest?

Thanks!

***
Oh, if this subject has already been discussed elsewhere.... please tell us where.

Even so, I think there is still more to say.
For example, like tennis.... there are many obvious things. Pictures can help. The grip. The mechanics of the swing. How to meet the ball. The body position you start in, and the body position you go to as you follow through.
But then there is the inner game of tennis. How to float, how to become as graceful as Roger Federer. How not to be defeated. Etc etc.
You move the ball here, she can be expected to respond this way. You return the ball there. Point! Game, set, match!!! (Yes, hopefully the rallies are longer than that.)
Even about so simple a subject as tennis, there is more to say.
Love-Love.

 

[Kinky Cinderella]

It happened recently with a merbite (like a year ago)...He gave me a daty for a good 45 minutes in a 2h encounter...Which I didn't do much since I am a huge multi-orgasmic girl and can't do much if I don't stop cuming....

So at the end I told him I was kind of embarrassed since I am much more into performing and being the Giver than being a taker....and the gentleman, with a huge smile told me "seeing you cum like that was a hell of a performance!"

So I did learn than putting the plug and really enjoying the time with my partner, even he pays for that, is the best thing I (or a woman in general) can give to him..,..

Just sad I am in the scene in&out since 2004 ans just learned that last year but anyway lolll (kidding here...mostof the time I was either a stripper or a FemDom, which you need to perform)

But seriously, a man is not hard to please....I think the worse mistake many of us (sp/women) do is thinking about being a real and total PSE, rocking his world, will give to men a blast...but men will naturally tend to be Giver...to rock their world is to let them giving us a blast... (otherwise, it is very easy to figure out what they expect in an encounter, it gets obvious even after the first few messages )

 

[hungry101]

Interesting perspective from a veteran escort. ^

I finished a book last year about one of the top escorts in Australia. She had an interesting perspective. She felt like she was cheating on her boyfriend if she had an orgasm. It took her awhile before she was able to allow herself to enjoy a session. When she was able to enjoy the session, she would sometimes think "Damn, I get paid to do this" as the trick walked out the door. With the guys that weren't good in bed she would try to teach them to be better and she would give them honest feedback and I even read a review about her that said so and this gave her peace of mind. She felt like she was helping this group of men.

I often wonder about one of Montreal's Premier escorts. She had one hang-up. She didn't like cunnilingus performed on her. She looked so good in her black tight dress and heels I had to go down on her and she let but I had to promise to be gentle which I was. I savored that pussy....

But I still wonder: Was she oversensitive down there or did she have a boyfriend and an orgasm constituted cheating in her mind or was she just providing honest feedback????

I know that after I cum, Hungry Jr doesn't like to be touched.

 

[harwell1690]

I have admired you both from a distance. (Cinderella and Hungry) Good comments.

To give is to take, to take is to give. And, a lot of it is in the mind.

But some people, need more specific advice. Women included.

Example: One woman just told me, when she first saw fellatio on the internet, she thought you had to use the teeth a lot on the penis (use your preferred word...). I suppose that may be what SOME men want, but she and I laughed about how it could hurt that organ. (And she and I had lots of fun in this area. We both have learned a lot.)

Please ALSO gives us more practical advice.

Here is one more for men (and women too, I guess, indirectly).

Do some foreplay. Suck her nipples first (in a way she likes...whole other subject). Caress her body. Maybe some massage.
Kiss and lick down her body. Kiss her neck, and especially the back of the neck.
Build up a little tension. Show that you will be gentle. Kiss and lick all around the vagina. Above and below, to the left and the right.
Tease the clit just a bit. Seem to be going there, and then don't go (yet). Tell her you are teasing her.

After some tension....then softly, warmly, wet-ly, gently get to business.

Yes, that was only one piece of advice.
Now, what's your advice?

Thanks!

 

[Kinky Cinderella]

Hungry; I felt exactly as her...I will always remember this handsome man, while I was taken...he took me in the booth, so soft but I still felt manhandled...so bad I really wanted him to cross the rules without asking him to....but I had this desire mixed with a feeling of guilt....so much that after 4 songs I told him "ok...so it's 40$"...he said, confused he wanted some more...I told him I was done...he got even more confused and lost and asked what he had done wrong...and I just asnwered :"nothing...that's the problem..."

Doing it for the money gets to one of the 5 different types of "morals" (I study psychology and we could talk about it for hours...lol)...just take the example of a thief who steal money from a old woman...or a thief that goes in a walmart to get pablum for his baby....there are 5 levels of moral that change depending on the situation....

Knowing your limits is also good...and this is why I avoid dating someone while being courtesan...lol since I do not have time for men these days/months... I got back to combine business and pleasure....but mixing love and lust is a hell of a closterfuck

 

[hungry101]

Interesting Harwell...What kind of guy would like teeth during a BJ? A sadist? I'm glad you straightened her out.

I just remembered a Montreal Indy who has left the scene. She was atypical and really a reverse hobbyist. Yes, she was one of those rare women that liked sex as much as a man and I feel privileged to call her a friend. Anyway, this woman used to say during our debates "do escorts really like sex?" She used to always say that she had an older client that used to perform DATY on her and it was the best ever. She used to close her eyes and kick back and enjoy it. This is what I do when I get a massage. I've had a few not very attractive women rub me out after an hour deep tissue massage. My regular masseuse and I had a brief tryst and she's not attractive. It was about how she could make me feel.

 

[hungry101]

Hungry; I felt exactly as her...I will always remember this handsome man

Cinderella: The author of the book is Kate Holden. She is skilled if not brilliant writer and it was a quick and painless read. I gained considerable insight into the "hobby" and also about "addiction."

If you are looking for a good winter read you may try this:

https://www.amazon.com/My-Skin-Memoir-Addiction/dp/161145798X

 

[harwell1690]

Hi Hungry.... No, I did not correct her. She had learned years ago. She was talking about years ago (3? 5?) when she first learned about fellatio and saw it on the web. She was laughing about how stupid she was, at the time. I was cringing, thinking how bad it would feel and that it was my dick being hurt. We both laughed.

Yes! (That it is not just about beauty.) It is about how someone can make you feel. After a woman orgasms, you usually see love in her eyes. (Or lust.) It is not how you (or I) look (I am older, not as good looking as I once was....).... it's how you just made her feel. Grateful for the trip to heaven.

Surely the reverse happens to men. It has to me, for example.

Anyway, women, I find are VERY fair. More than fair. You do something nice to her, she gives it back 3x to 10x. But to me now, if I like a woman, taking her to orgasm.... Wow...it's a great feeling for me. (well, if I don't like her in at least some way, I honestly don't try that. Maybe a massage, but not that. But I like most women (at least the one's I meet). I'd say I like women in general. I am impressed by women, as I get older. They are good, they are real, they make life wonderful. We need men too... but women are wonderful.)

Blah blah blah....but the key for others here is attitude. A lot of doing it right is coming to it with the right attitude.

Always good to remember: Every woman is different, or at least can be. You get lucky, you see 4 women in a week ...in a row they orgasm. BUT...then comes the 5th. You try everything you know....it is not happening. Each person can be different. Always more to learn...in mostly a happy way. It's not your fault, nor her fault... you just need to learn her dance rhythm. Be patient, talk.

BTW, I agree with you that Socialism (the concentrating power in the State) is a bad thing. Socialism -- they make it sound nice -- it is really bad. Sorry -- off topic. Just sayin' Helping people (one person at a time) -- THAT is good.

 

[cloudsurf]

The book to read is the HITE REPORT. It will answer all your questions about pleasing a woman. A very helpful and truly educational book.


Unfortunately for my wife , I read the book only after my divorce.

 

[hungry101]

...but women are wonderful.)
....but the key for others here is attitude. A lot of doing it right is coming to it with the right attitude.

I agree with this statement and yes, it goes both ways. I have had such great luck in Montreal with the women and their attitude. The Montreal performance is consistent. The higher end of the US market is also very good. I dealt too much with the lower end. Every date started like a Mexican Stand-off. "Let me see your plane ticket" was about the first thing that came out of her mouth when she walked through the hotel door. Would you like something to drink was my first question? In the USA, the answer was no. The goal was to get my money up front and leave ASAP...besides, I may have put something in her drink. One girl in the States asked for her tip up front. She was so hot I gave it to her.

Contrast this attitude with Montreal. The first two agency girls I had ever met since I joined MERB walked through the door and said "let's order a bottle of wine." What???? Some may say that she is trying to waste my time and jack up my costs. I looked at it differently. You mean you would trust me to pour you a glass of wine? Unheard of with the escorts I was dealing with in the USA at the time. These two girls shaped my perception of the Montreal scene. I have even had a few girls tell me that my approach to the hobby was refreshing. It was shaped by the back-to-back appointments with these two girls: The first from Devilish and the 2nd from Xxxtase. I had no wine and it was too late to get some but I made sure beforehand that I have had wine every time since then.

P.S. It is too bad that every generation has to relearn the evils of Socialism.

 

[Halloween Mike]

HAHA Hungry i remember well that review, her name start with a J

Personally i am not into DATY at all. So far i have been lucky that i could avoid it in the vast majority of my meetings. I did it with 4 girls total (all escorts). First time i was taken by surprise. She kinda positioned herself in 69 and i was scared a bit, but i told myself "oh well if you have to try it, better be with her" , i had saw her multiple time (Kate from GG/MTLGFE) and knew she was very clean and i was really into her. So the next 2 times it was easier, it was with girls i had awesome chemistry with. Again its them who kinda positioned themselves for it and i didn't want to kill the mood or anything so i got with the flow.

But i don't get any pleasure from doing it. It does not exite me at all. And thanks the nine divine that none of those girls where "squirter" and all where very well shaved/laser "epilé". But to my defense my 2 main arguments are that first i have a tongue "anomaly" that make it very hard for me to do it. My tongue is attach on the tip. So when it comes out, it kinda roll on itself. Never bothered me for anything else in life so i always refused my dentist offers for the chirurgie. But it not only make daty harder to do but also since my tongue friction on my teeths the next day it kinda hurt if i does it too much...

Side note... I do love DFK but can't hardly initiate it myself due to that and i feel too awkward asking girls to plungue there tongue deeper in my mouth. So there is a downside there. I wish more girls would do it right away...

Second thing is obviously that i am the client... So should we be doing things i enjoy instead? An hour is spent so fast...

Anyway... thats just my point of view on the subject, and im not judging guys who enjoy this, great for you. Maybe if i had a girlfriend i would enjoy it more since it would be different than a paid meeting?

 

[jalimon]

what i love the most is when the girl grabs the back of your head and drive it as a toy for her pleasure... grrrr

did not happened often unfortunately...

cheers

 

[arrowdec]

I love DATY. Being able to give a woman licks down south is something I always do when I have the chance... To find the rhythm that makes a woman purr is a joyous challenge, to hear her moans is a music to my ears, to feel them tightening their thighs, or grabbing the back of my head, while wanting more eggs me on, to tasting their honey if they let me bring them to orgasm with my tongue is a flavor I savor. If a woman tells me how she wants it, or where to lick, that makes it all the better and easier. Some SPs do, while others just lay back and let me go full throttle from the beginning.

I'm not a pro by any means, but it's a blast. One of harwell1690's earlier posts got it right; start with other foreplay before diving face first into pussy. Get her in the mood first, then work your way in. Start with the thighs and everywhere around the vagina, then start on the outer lips, then the inner lips, after poke on the inside before starting to lick "upward" before hitting the clit, then focusing there. At least, that's the "I have no idea how this woman likes it" plan. Make sure you listen, above all, whether it be actual tips/advice, from speed preferences to areas of sensitivity, to the sounds a woman makes from sounds of pleasure to sounds of pain! Sometimes you go for an area, or use a technique, that has worked well in the past but could be bad for this individual. It takes two to tango, and listening is key.

 

[Valcazar]

Doing it for the money gets to one of the 5 different types of "morals" (I study psychology and we could talk about it for hours...lol)...just take the example of a thief who steal money from a old woman...or a thief that goes in a walmart to get pablum for his baby....there are 5 levels of moral that change depending on the situation...

This is off topic at this point, but I would really like to know more on this theory? I dont think I've sent an ethical framework describing 5 "levels" of morals, and I figure I am misunderstanding your use of levels here?

 

[harwell1690]

I love DATY too. As you might have guessed.

I am NOT in favor of STDs. I am in favor of good hygiene. Also, I favor good smells over bad smells (duh)...although some of that is personal taste. (That is, a good smell to one person is not so good to another....that is personal taste or the sense of smell, as we sometimes put it).

Most of the women I see (has to be a small sub sub set of the population), are healthy and smell wonderful around there. But, for smells, I do sometimes have an issue...probably easily solved.

I guess a man. well I think I once did, and actually do... I can imagine certain situations where I just would not go there. And I would not have enough info to KNOW that was the right choice. Just based on circumstantial evidence.

NONETHELESS....nowadays, mostly I WANT to go there. (I trust the women, usually.) I enjoy it. I love hearing her moan. I love feeling her come.

OK...just wanted to make clear my position. Absolutely we support everyone being healthy.

 

[hungry101]

Harwell

I love the thread.

I have to say that if I am with a woman and she is hot I have to go down on her. Say if she is a 7+, I'm bound to perform DATY. If she is a 8 or 9, I may even perform DATO. I don't know why I do what I do but all I know is that I do.

In recent years I have demonstrated a little more self control but that wasn't always the case. If the girl is hot I want to worship which some would consider the grossest part of her...
It as if I am saying, you are so hot I want to lick your asshole because the grossest part of you is so far above the norm that I will stick my tongue in it. I see it. I like it. I want to put it in my mouth. I guess that is where sayings such as I want to drink her bathwater come from, eh?

 

[GaryH]

Oh how true. I think this woman puts it succinctly.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/3dT0bF9AS90?start=102&end=121&version=3

 

[harwell1690]

Harwell

I love the thread.

I have to say that if I am with a woman and she is hot I have to go down on her. Say if she is a 7+, I'm bound to perform DATY. If she is a 8 or 9, I may even perform DATO. I don't know why I do what I do but all I know is that I do.

In recent years I have demonstrated a little more self control but that was always the case. If the girl is hot I want to worship which some would consider the grossest part of her...
It as if I am saying, you are so hot I want to lick your asshole because the grossest part of you is so far above the norm that I will stick my tongue in it. I see it. I like it. I want to put it in my mouth. I guess that is where sayings such as I want to drink her bathwater come from, eh?

Hmmm.
I am a little different.
With the right lady, I do not feel her vulva or pussy is dirty at all. I want to. I want the taste. I want to feel her come. And then that taste (a bit tangy usually).

I have liked some ladies so much, that I thought of DATO. In part, because I could tell the hygiene was great. Still, I have not actually DONE that, just felt like I would do it.
Perhaps I am a bit hung-up. Although I do understand the bacteria there ((DATO) is notably stromger and can have an effect.

Anyway...back to giving pleasure.... how do you dance with a new girl?

There is a kind of a V, upside down. It goes just above the clit and in the valley between the outer lips and inner lips.
One move is to go up one valley, over the clit (the hood of the clit), and then down the valley on the other side. Some women like that.

More soon!

A lot of women....(what % is that)...are not sure men like it down there. Really important (but don't lie)...if you really like, let her know. Then she can relax and just enjoy herself.
She often won't believe you at first.... keep saying how much you like it. But don't lie.
It'll make a difference.

My 2 cents for today.

 

[hungry101]

Maybe I said that wrong. The pussy is typically no thing of beauty. Think of your fat unattractive neighbor think of your 86 year old Aunt Edna etc. The pussy and the a-hole would be the last thing....But with a young sexy hottie in panties and heels...with her eyes done-up and a little perfume...and then the pussy becomes an alter to worship at. It is nectar of the Goddesses and I feel powerless to resist eating that beautiful melt of sweet pussy.

 

[jalimon]

2 things from the famous Quebec movie "Le déclin de l'empire Américain" in 1986 that I remember and changed me.

1. That when a woman wants sex she will get it. Period. And it does not really matter who the dudes his and how good he looks. When men play their card politely and frankly they will have sex with girls!! (a touch of humour helps and accepting that a refusal is a refusal..).

2. That you can put your tong in a vagina

Haha I was only a teenager and it took another 10 years or so before I put my tong in a vagina. You see I basically did it spontaneously or maybe I should say furiously when women began to shave. Which commonly happened when I turned 30. Things change and thats good. What we see more and more often now (especially in Montreal in the summer) is girls not wearing a bra. Good lord is that ever great. And girl believe me you may think you tits are too small, too big, too saggy, too awkward or any other bullshit reason you may find all of it is false. We like to see girl without a bra. Period

Cheers,