Has hobbying f**ked up your life?

[malboro_man]

Has hobbying f**ked up your life? Please bear with me on this rant.

Many of you here are married and are doing it because your wife has gotten old, ugly, and/or fat. Or, sex life is non-existent in your marriage. I started this thing in my early 30s. I was (am still) single. After 8 years in the hobby, I must admit that it is really hard getting back to the dating scene in the civilian world. In those 8 years, I dated single moms a few times. None of these worked out. I dated them because they were still young and pretty. And, if I want them young and pretty, those are the only options available. After bedding numerous gorgeous SPs, it’s hard to bed some grandma. The grandmas are certainly available. One hit on me at the supermarket yesterday! She looks good for a 66 y.o. That’s for sure.

This year, I have made a conscious decision to get back in the dating scene in the civilian world. Hobbying just doesn’t do it for me anymore. It’s getting harder and harder to find that excellent encounter. After much search, I found my target. My target is someone pretty in her mid-20s. To make a long story short, she rejected my invitation, claiming recent breakup with bf and not wanted to start anything new. I know you’re not supposed to be fixated on one target. Casting a wide net is the best option. However, high school was over for me a long time ago.

I have come to the conclusion that in my age (late 30s), getting a HB (honey bunny) is out of the question. The more attractive the HBs are, the more likely they’ll reject men’s advances. Chances are, they are hit on everyday. If I want someone in the civilian world, go for the early 30s or even 40s. I just don’t find them attractive. I look pretty young for my age and going out with the old hags makes me look like a gigilo. Besides, I am not really that rich. A lot of the early 30s and 40s would not likely go out with me for that reason.

The only option now to get some release is back to the hobby. But, the more hobbying I do, the less inclined I would consider the realistic options in the civilian world. A vicious circle.

Sorry for the rant. Maybe I was f**ked up before hobbying and hobbying f**ked me up even more.

Has anyone been in the hobby for a long time and managed to get back in the civilian dating scene and be satisfied with their partner?

 

[malboro_man]

I forgot to mention too...in addition to the single moms, I dated a SP as well last year...I think it further f**ked me up some more.

 

[kill_shill]

Dont feel to bad, try to imagine how F***cked up the young pretty SP's are going to be once they hit mid 20's and early 30's.

After selling your body and soul on hundreds of occasions to just about anyone at such a young age, (young/fat/old/handsome/ugly/muscular etc..) they no longer know what love is or what real love making is all about.

So dont self pitty yourself to much buddy, the ones who are gonna realy be screwed for life are the SP's.

You started in your 30's and you feel f**cked up today. Imagine the female SP's who start in there teens....and how they will become latter on...

I know alot of SP's many who have aged to the point where they no longer feel the drive to compete against the young hotties and they are all single, broke, miserable and have no intution of what love is about, for them love = $$$

The real victims here are not the hobbiest's but the teens who dont relaize the consequences to selling there bodies and souls (believe me when i tell you that it also robs them of there souls), its only at a latter age that they realize what a mistake they had done.

p.s. There is also the rare exception that one can live a normal life afterwards. Normal life meaning having a family, husband, children, regular job etc. But those are few and seldom I would say 90% will fall in the other category. I still have not met one SP who has turned into a family woman, but I know many retired SP's who regret the day they gave there bodies to the $$$.

P.P.S There also a few SP's who actually do it cause they love the work (Sleeping with many different men) but 99% just do it for the $$$.

 

[korbel]

The Velvet TRAP!

Has hobbying f**ked up your life? Please bear with me on this rant.

Many of you here are married and are doing it because your wife has gotten old, ugly, and/or fat. Or, sex life is non-existent in your marriage. I started this thing in my early 30s. I was (am still) single. After 8 years in the hobby, I must admit that it is really hard getting back to the dating scene in the civilian world. In those 8 years, I dated single moms a few times. None of these worked out. I dated them because they were still young and pretty. And, if I want them young and pretty, those are the only options available. After bedding numerous gorgeous SPs, it’s hard to bed some grandma. The grandmas are certainly available. One hit on me at the supermarket yesterday! She looks good for a 66 y.o. That’s for sure.

This year, I have made a conscious decision to get back in the dating scene in the civilian world. Hobbying just doesn’t do it for me anymore. It’s getting harder and harder to find that excellent encounter. After much search, I found my target. My target is someone pretty in her mid-20s. To make a long story short, she rejected my invitation, claiming recent breakup with bf and not wanted to start anything new. I know you’re not supposed to be fixated on one target. Casting a wide net is the best option. However, high school was over for me a long time ago.

I have come to the conclusion that in my age (late 30s), getting a HB (honey bunny) is out of the question. The more attractive the HBs are, the more likely they’ll reject men’s advances. Chances are, they are hit on everyday. If I want someone in the civilian world, go for the early 30s or even 40s. I just don’t find them attractive. I look pretty young for my age and going out with the old hags makes me look like a gigilo. Besides, I am not really that rich. A lot of the early 30s and 40s would not likely go out with me for that reason.

The only option now to get some release is back to the hobby. But, the more hobbying I do, the less inclined I would consider the realistic options in the civilian world. A vicious circle.

Sorry for the rant. Maybe I was f**ked up before hobbying and hobbying f**ked me up even more.

Has anyone been in the hobby for a long time and managed to get back in the civilian dating scene and be satisfied with their partner?

Hello Malboro Man,

At a private GT almost two years ago a young board member, who was thinking about going into the hobby, asked everyone their opinion about doing so. "DON'T"...was the universal answer. The answer was based basically on the same perspective from all. The fantasy is extremely addictive and the more you get wrapped up in the boards, the reviews, and the encounters the harder it is to get away from it...especially if no one else of significance comes in your life. Eventually, the fantasies subside, but not for a long time and often there are regrets about ever having gotten into it. After all of that, it is still so hard to leave the "hobby". When comparing the ease of calling for someone to come over versus all the work and difficulties of creating a relationship with a woman outside of the hobby the latter just seems too daunting. Not to mention complications like kids, etc. Why risk all the possible heartbreak when one can call for the fantasy in 30 minutes and face none of the complications.

Well Malboro man, I am not going to expose my feelings about all of this further. From the sound of your post you seem to have come to the point in the hobby life of realization as to why it just might be better to work at a real relationship, like many who have been around the hobby so long. Even then it's difficult to break the Velvet Trap...isn't it.

To Agrippa...hope you made the choice that worked best for you.

Cheers,

Korbel

 

[malboro_man]

Dont feel to bad, try to imagine how F***cked up the young pretty SP's are going to be once they hit mid 20's and early 30's. ]

hi kill_shill: thanks for your words of encouragement. I have to agree that the SPs are fucked up more than the hobbiest. I had one SP who kept saying she hated her job for almost an hour. Naturally, that spoiled the session. She was supposed to be well-reviewed. I won't mention her name as she retired more than 2 years ago, so it doesn't really matter.

I am not as fucked up as they are but I am alot older. If you're young, anything is possible. I wondered if I had used the money/time I spent on hobbying and instead on plastic surgery or a shiny sports car, a better home, etc. Maybe the outcome would be different.

I had some bad experience and wanted to quit hobbying in 2000. (Un)fortunately, Martin at Asservissante got me hooked (I am not shilling for them but his agency in 2001 was what got me started).

Once you start seeing SPs, the civilians don't look the same to you. You don't care about them as much. Wooing them is much harder. With SPs, you call, they come to your hotel, you pay, and you have your way with them. When the biz is finished, off she goes. If you're in good shape, you call for another girl on the same evening.

I have to say, SPs taught be to be better in sex. But, not having to pay for sex (at least not directly) is far superior. Nonetheless, when you are lonely and horny, sometimes SPs are the only choice.

The only reason I am not doing it now is that I have some debt to pay off. Seeing a couple of SPs in a row would make me forget about the girl (well, at least for the short term), but then again, reality will hit sooner or later.

 

[Frank29]

Well I did call an SP 2 years ago to get revenge about a girlfriend that cheated on me.... Up until a couple months, I felt happy and had no regrets but lately, I realized i'm much much more hooked that I did think and i've not been that close to killing myself the last weeks that I have been in years, so yeah, I look at myself completely fuck up and not more happy that I was 2 years ago....

 

[malboro_man]

Hello Malboro Man,

At a private GT almost two years ago a young board member, who was thinking about going into the hobby, asked everyone their opinion about doing so. "DON'T"...was the universal answer. The answer was based basically on the same perspective from all. The fantasy is extremely addictive and the more you get wrapped up in the boards, the reviews, and the encounters the harder it is to get away from it...especially if no one else of significance comes in your life. Eventually, the fantasies subside, but not for a long time and often there are regrets about ever having gotten into it. ]

Hi Korbel:

I wished I had known about the advice earlier, like don't do drugs.

I am pretty jaded at this point. What counts as an excellent encounter 3-5 years ago would be considered good now.

I think hobbying is good for married/divorced men who want some release not for single guys.

You're right...I am ready to get out of the hobby (that's what I've been saying for a few years), but this time, I am more serious. But, who knows, I might be weak and relapse when some civilian girl rejects me again.

 

[malboro_man]

Well I did call an SP 2 years ago to get revenge about a girlfriend that cheated on me.... Up until a couple months, I felt happy and had no regrets but lately, I realized i'm much much more hooked that I did think and i've not been that close to killing myself the last weeks that I have been in years, so yeah, I look at myself completely fuck up and not more happy that I was 2 years ago....

Frank29: sorry to hear that you're that depressed. I was really really SAD last night when I got rejected. I figured that to get sex, I need to pay or go with some old hag. I wanted to cry but couldn't. I almost drank an entire bottle of cognac. I got a big hangover today. You'll get through it. That's what I keep telling myself.

 

[Frank29]

yeah well at least the NFL season is just around the corner so that will save my life like it did so many times already! Anyway before pulling the trigger on me, there is a fuck load of people i would kill so I wont be going dead anytime soon, just really hard sometimes.

Thanks for the help to all you members.

 

[UHGL]

Marboro_Man, I think I was "F"ed up way before I started hobbying. If anything, I think hobbying helped me. I now want to try to understand women better. I used to think that women would not want to do certain things in bed and when I did ask them, they would say that they did not like that..... after being with escorts, I have found that I am not that freaky as I once thought and if I communicate that what ever I want with confidence(unlike the normal begging act that I used to do), that most women like what I like too. If I acted unsure about things, I made the escort not want to do them or ask for more money(cim, cof, greek, russian.....).

Hobbying for me has been like very advanced dating lessons........ I think I have worked my way up to Hobbying 102 now....... but I am no where near graduating. Some of the things that I have learned from Escorts has helped me to understand all women in general. I now believe, that it is my job to set the tone, in any encounter with women, and they for the most part will follow my lead. If I can remain calm, in a bad situation, it will have a calming effect on her. If I get freaked out by something, she will get freaked out by me. I also learned that if I can make a women feel safe with me, she will be happier to be with me. In my 3 visits to Montreal, I have changed so much in my thinking and understanding of women.......... not that I am claiming to be a expert, in any way.

About feeling disgusted for paying for sex.... some other board member once asked: "Since when is money more sacred than sex?".... I guess I am looking for different things in my hobbying than most members. Ask yourself one honest question, are you disgusted by yourself only when you hobby, or are you really just disgusted by yourself and who you are? If you are disgusted by yourself, you need to work on that. I have not gone to school for this, but it makes sense to me, if you hate your body, for example, get a personal trainer, gym membership and start doing something about it. If you are bad with talking to women, make friends with guys who are good at talking to women and learn from them. Try to understand yourself, and do whatever it takes to gain confidence in yourself......... the women will see you so much differently when you are confident and happy with yourself.

Hobbying has not "F" up your life, you have. We are all responsible for what we get out of life. You just need to take charge and responsibillity for yours, and I know that it is not too late to turn it around. I am much older than you, and it took me even longer to learn this. Have fun with your challenges in life and try to see them as rewards in making you a better person.

Peace,

UHGL

 

[malboro_man]

Marboro_Man, I think I was "F"ed up way before I started hobbying. If anything, I think hobbying helped me.]

UHGL: good for you that hobbying has helped you. I have to admit, I am better in bed. I learned alot from the SPs.

Hobbying for me has been like very advanced dating lessons........ I think I have worked my way up to Hobbying 102 now....... but I am no where near graduating. ]

I have to disagree that hobbying helps dating. In fact, I think it's the opposite. Hobbying, you call the booker, the girl comes to you, you hand over the dough, you do the deed, she leaves. In the civilian world, you have to meet the girl(s), convince them to go out with you, convince them to hop in the sack with you. Unless you are very rich (I am not), most guys' batting average isn't great. Think about it, the honey bunnies get asked out all the time. Unless you're special, she'll reject you.

About feeling disgusted for paying for sex.... some other board member once asked: "Since when is money more sacred than sex?"

Paying for a SP for me is, well, feel like I am cheating on an exam to get an A. Imagine that you're the class valedictorian because you cheated. How would you feel?

I have not gone to school for this, but it makes sense to me, if you hate your body, for example, get a personal trainer, gym membership and start doing something about it. If you are bad with talking to women, make friends with guys who are good at talking to women and learn from them. Try to understand yourself, and do whatever it takes to gain confidence in yourself......... the women will see you so much differently when you are confident and happy with yourself.

Thanks again for the advice. This makes sense. I was in a bad shape a few months ago. Now, I am back into working out. The beer belly is almost gone.

 

[Regular Guy]

Might as well throw my two cents in here with the others:

Imagine where you would be if you had never started. For you at that point would have been - it's find a girl whatever the effort. You've given the downside but believe it or not there is an upside:
It's great knowing that someone gives a f**k whether you live or die
It's great knowing that there is someone to fight for you if you have to be hospitalized
It's great having your young guy fall asleep on your lap while you drone up and down on the lawn tractor on a warm summers night.
It's great to experience family life with all of its ups and downs
It's great having that element of predictability in your life when you get home from work
It's great having family to fight for you when its your time to go into the home (Which is still a long way off for me.lol)

Having done all that, would I do it again now? No! Been there – Done that. And it isn't all roses. Maintaining a relationship is tougher today than it has ever been. But you can get married at 35, still have kids and do the family thing. Pick a 24 year old (you know the 24 year old syndrome?) and get the kids moving quick. (Hey 18 to 20 years and they are gone). That is if you can get your head around it. Takes a real effort of imagination and be prepared to do a complete about face on how highly you put a value on it and how committed you will be to making it a lifestyle. Join a church group or clubs or such to start. Getting a marriageable girl is often about networking.
Or
Stay in the hobby. One merbite claims to have the answer in his signature line: If it flies floats or f**ks, it's cheaper to lease.

 

[Stageofdreams]

Everyone has a different perspective on things.This hobby is addictive for sure.I try to treat all the SP's that I don't refuse with respect and as people.I actually have nice relationships with a few SP's because of this attitude.Just remember the SP's are still human beings who like being with a nice guy just like we like being with a beautiful nice woman.
As for the real world it all depends on your tastes,how attractive you are if you can actually date a hot chick in her 20's and many other variables.
I'm in my early 40's and the hobby has given me a completely different perspective on women and relationships.
So good luck to all you guys and please don't kill yourself.Nobody's worth it.

 

[Master Baiter]

Dont feel to bad, try to imagine how F***cked up the young pretty SP's are going to be once they hit mid 20's and early 30's.

I've been hobbying for some time, much more so when I first started. Seeing an SP filled the void of being single and alone and for that brief 2hrs or so, it was great to feel "alive" and intimate. Sure the fantasy is there but I think it was like a drug when I first started and quickly became addicted. Over the years, I've become friends with a small handful and in the last year, I've become fairly good friends with one in particular. She's only been in the business for just over a year and I can see the changes with her from working in this profession. She's shed a lot of light about the escorting industry, enough so that I've retired from this hobby after my last Montreal trip.

I recently saw some pics of her just before she started working as an SP and she was this vibrant, young beautiful woman. When I see her now, she's still beautiful but I can see how working as an SP has aged her somewhat. I think seeing a bunch of men for paid sex etc has desensitized her. She knows I want her to quit and she says she's in it for only 1 more year. I've been told by several girls that they were going to quit after 2 yrs, it's been 5yrs now and they're still in it. I hope this is not the case for my friend. I want her to prove me wrong.

 

[freedom3]

what i have learned

The main thing I have learned so far (at 37 years of age) is that our culture dictates that men are here to pay women's bills.

When is the last time you went to a restaurant without the idea that you wouldn't be paying the bill? Ask the average women and she will say that this happens to her all the time. It is only when a man isn't present that she has to pay. For men, the only issue is how many people he will be paying for.

Also, tell a woman (as I have) that you want to stay at home with the kids while she works. She will laugh hysterically. The funniest part is the divorce where she gets 70% of your stuff and you get to send her cheques every month for years.

Seeing escorts is a godsend. You are paying women anyways, so why not sleep with a hot twenty year old rather than some forty year old hag who you have to beg for sex? An easy choice to be sure.

If you feel you are missing out on this mythical "real" relationship with woman, then quit the hobby. All you will get is poverty, a daily running commentary on what you should be doing to make her life better, and sex once a month if you are lucky. (This is post-marriage, of course. You don't get the truth until after marriage.)

 

[hankypanky]

Dont feel to bad, try to imagine how F***cked up the young pretty SP's are going to be once they hit mid 20's and early 30's.

or already f**ked up

 

[Regular Guy]

The 24 Year Old Syndrome

what is it?

Years ago in the “before marriage” times when I used to cruise the party and bar circuits with my buddies and date (and bed) various hot cuties, I came across this concept. One of my buddies (very astute in the study of the behaviour of women) related this theory to me which he called “The 24 Year Old Syndrome”. Not sure if it still holds true today (well maybe for those with minds set on marriage and family – youknow, the old fashioned type girls). In his travels he began to notice a trend, that young women approaching or when they hit the age of 24 began to see the age of 24 as a threshold where there was a real danger of missing the boat. I must confess that he did present a rather convincing argument though no studies were ever done on the subject. Now you may say that this would indicate irrational thinking on the part of these young women but the more I dated and observed with this idea in mind, the more I began to feel that there was something to it and see this kind of easing up on the independent attitude just as he predicted. Is there truly anything to it? I must confess that if you pinned me down asking for scientific studies or even articles in Macleans I couldn't produce them. But I always found my buddy's concept intriguing. Trust an Irishman to come up with that one.

 

[UHGL]

UHGL: good for you that hobbying has helped you. I have to admit, I am better in bed. I learned alot from the SPs.



I have to disagree that hobbying helps dating. In fact, I think it's the opposite. Hobbying, you call the booker, the girl comes to you, you hand over the dough, you do the deed, she leaves. In the civilian world, you have to meet the girl(s), convince them to go out with you, convince them to hop in the sack with you. Unless you are very rich (I am not), most guys' batting average isn't great. Think about it, the honey bunnies get asked out all the time. Unless you're special, she'll reject you.



Paying for a SP for me is, well, feel like I am cheating on an exam to get an A. Imagine that you're the class valedictorian because you cheated. How would you feel?



Thanks again for the advice. This makes sense. I was in a bad shape a few months ago. Now, I am back into working out. The beer belly is almost gone.

Malboro_Man,

I owe you a APOLOGY.

I was just projecting my fears, lack of knowledge of life/women and failures of past experiences, on to you. I don't know you or what you have experienced, enough to judge you. Please accept my apology.

Let me tell you about some of my personal experiences.

Hobbying has not F'ed up my life. I F'ed up my life. I had(& maybe still do) a F'ed up view of women and more importantly a F'ed view of myself. Hobbying has shown me that I need to take responsibilities for my life and how I view women and myself.

When I first started hobbying my goal was just to have sex. Yes, it did feel like cheating. After hanging out with friends and watch them pick up drunk 18 year olds at Light Ultra Club, or lonely desperate wannabe MILF's at Thursdays........ they were not looking for a meaningful relationship with these women, just free sex that they could laugh about and discard the unlucky woman who fell for their lines, afterwards. They joked about who would be able to sleep with this happy, perfectly innocent, nice, ridiculously hot woman who had just gotten married, it was all a very sick game to them. I started thinking how is this better than hobbying? What are my rules for dating? What do I want for women and a relationship? I started thinking at least in hobbying, I do way less lying, everyone understands the rules and there is a fair agreed upon exchange, where we both get something out of it. I feel in hobbying I have cheated no one. What about my married friends? Well, most of them are now divorced....... one of my best friends in Vegas, got married right out of high school, has 3 beautiful children, a beautiful house & all any American could want....... Now after the divorce, he can see his children 2 days a week, has lost his home, his whole retirement savings, and his car..... he also pays his ex-wife half of all his wage before taxes...... which really amounts to closer to 66% of his take home pay. Still, he didn't cheat any rules to sleeping with her... and he did get to sleep with her for "Free" for ten years...... before she started sleeping with his neighbor while he was at work. Again I wonder what are the rules?

How do I feel? Life isn't fair...... but that also means that my rules are my prison..... it is my fault for seeing the world the way it is to me, not the world. It is my fault that I have so many hang ups with myself and self image. It is my fault for not understanding how to communicate with women. It is my fault for my failed relationship and not being stronger.

Through many experiences while hobbying, I have found that most Montreal escorts, do not actually "act" that well, if they act at all. I found if I could just communicate honestly what I wanted, while making them feel safe and comfortable, they would actually give me more than I asked for and very willingly. This honest communication, is done non-verbally..... for the most part escorts have heard way too many lies in their young lives already and my words are meaningless to them, but what is important is how I hold myself, make eye contact, my tone when I speak and my body language. The strange thing is you may think that I want to do something really sick to them, but what I really want is just their affection. This same way of communication, also works well with all women..... yes, I still have a ton of internal issues, and it is not always easy to remain calm and confident, but I am working on it and I am getting better. Women seem to sense fear & uncertainty a mile a way.

When I gave you the example of getting into shape, it was not for the women to find you more attractive, but for you, so you could feel more confident with women...... and not to have a hang up about your looks- which shows in the way you carry yourself. I am trying to do everything I can to work out my internal issues, just so I can be more confident in my life. You are not too old to date "Honey Bunnies"....... you are just projecting that on to the women you meet........ and they are reading you loud and clear. You control every interaction with women, even before you speak a word. You are special, don't let your body tell her that you are not.

Lastly, if you believe hobbying is cheating, you need to quit. Be true to yourself, always. Again, I am sorry if you are taking anything that I have said as being angry or malicious toward you, that was never my intention. I wish you well.

 

[eastender]

The Old..................

Years ago in the “before marriage” times when I used to cruise the party and bar circuits with my buddies and date (and bed) various hot cuties, I came across this concept. One of my buddies (very astute in the study of the behaviour of women) related this theory to me which he called “The 24 Year Old Syndrome”. Not sure if it still holds true today (well maybe for those with minds set on marriage and family – youknow, the old fashioned type girls). In his travels he began to notice a trend, that young women approaching or when they hit the age of 24 began to see the age of 24 as a threshold where there was a real danger of missing the boat. I must confess that he did present a rather convincing argument though no studies were ever done on the subject. Now you may say that this would indicate irrational thinking on the part of these young women but the more I dated and observed with this idea in mind, the more I began to feel that there was something to it and see this kind of easing up on the independent attitude just as he predicted. Is there truly anything to it? I must confess that if you pinned me down asking for scientific studies or even articles in Macleans I couldn't produce them. But I always found my buddy's concept intriguing. Trust an Irishman to come up with that one.

Looks like the old one year after university theory. If a woman hadn't found her life partner one year after obtaining a bachelor's degree - usually by age 23 then she was on the road to spinsterhood or heaven forbid a .............

 

[Regular Guy]

Don't shoot the messenger!

Looks like the old one year after university theory. If a woman hadn't found her life partner one year after obtaining a bachelor's degree - usually by age 23 then she was on the road to spinsterhood or heaven forbid a .............

Oh Ho! So we weren't the only ones to click into this. Albeit the fact being that you know it under a slightly different variation the time line seems correct.

Now if the Bitchelor reads all this, "Prepare to repel boarders!" Do you think this really might qualify a mysogeny?