Has hobbying f**ked up your life?

[korbel]

Korbel, I have a lot of respect for you. Having said that, I believe as men we should lead, not follow and we do not have to feel threatened by women or make things out to be us vs. them........ not that you have posted anything that would have me believe that you anything but a perfect gentleman.

Still, I would like to offer another option...... maybe as a mixed up young woman, she got scared of the feelings and emotions that she was having for Mr. O? Maybe all the guys in her life had abused her in the past? Maybe part of her decided to push Mr. O away, before she got in too deep, to save herself from the heartbreak and suffering that has been her pattern of her relationships? Sadly, we will never know.

Then again, maybe you are right? Either way, I do agree with you, Mr O should forget her.

Hello UHGL,

I was reacting to the specific scenario of the conditions as described by Obvio007 on the basis of one individual's actions. Under that scenario I stand by what I said. Now all you say may be true. Given that, I still see no excuse at all for anyone doing the kind of things described. If she did feel "scared of her feelings" then the best move would have been not to go in the first place. Yes, as Daringly said: he put himself in that position. But we all put ourselves in vulnerable positions based on the information we have. If there was this great connection between them then by all experience this should not have happened. He did what was rational and reasonable at the time. It was her who betrayed him.

And still, the scenario you describe is only speculation. There are many SPs who have deliberately exploited clients in the past and will do so again. Banger mentioned his story, and I know others who have theirs. It's very possible Obvio may have exaggerated or told only part of the story that favored him. But I see no reason to doubt the basic elements he has given.

Cheers,

Korbel

 

[UHGL]

Hobbying has improved my life. For me, it's the best form of stress relief there is.

I would tell anyone who wants to start seeing SPs to undertake three practices:treat the SP(s) with respect, stay within a budget, and don't take things too seriously.

So long as I continue to stay within those parameters, hobbying will never be an activity that inheirantly leads to negative outcomes in other areas of my existence.

Excellent guidelines! I shall do my best to follow them.

 

[korbel]

Hobbying has improved my life. For me, it's the best form of stress relief there is.

I would tell anyone who wants to start seeing SPs to undertake three practices:treat the SP(s) with respect, stay within a budget, and don't take things too seriously.

So long as I continue to stay within those parameters, hobbying will never be an activity that inheirantly leads to negative outcomes in other areas of my existence.

Hello 455tec,

I totally agree. This is the way I and many others started. But being emotional, needy, and vulnerable creatures as human beings, it rarely works out so well.

Good luck,

Korbel

 

[longislander]

A nice illusion....

Hey Banger,I agree with you...this " relationship" is just an illusion and sometimes we don't think and we just let it go. But,don't get me wrong..is a nice illusion,makes you feel better and enjoy life in a different way. On the other hand,can cause you a lot of damage...financially and in your head. You have to be able to control the situation...not an easy task when a beautiful SP look at you with those amazing eyes and she smile.. Then you are really F@#$@ !!! Now,there are different types of SP's....we have to be lucky and get the right ones. Is a dangerous situation,because they make you feel that you are the only one and that you are special....but the truth is...just an illusion !! LOL

 

[UHGL]

Hello 455tec,

I totally agree. This is the way I and many others started. But being emotional, needy, and vulnerable creatures as human beings, it rarely works out so well.

Good luck,

Korbel

You read my mind.

As a simple, weak man, I find booking a minimum of 3 different escorts a week helps me to not get obsessed with any one escort. Of course, it is much easier when you are not seeing one on the side..... that would change everything.

I hope one day to find that one, that will undamage my soul and heal my heart....... sadly, the one thing seeing escorts does do, is take away time from actually meeting that one.

Damaged,

UHGL

 

[korbel]

I hope one day to find that one, that will undamage my soul and heal my heart....... sadly, the one thing seeing escorts does do, is take away time from actually meeting that one.

Damaged,

UHGL

Hello UHGL,

That's the "Great Hobbying Conundrum". Enjoying the uncomplicated sexual fantasy to escape the pain of damaging relationships only take you into the abyss of excess all the further from the possibility of finding the "Right One".

Damn,

Korbel

 

[455tec]

Hello 455tec,

I totally agree. This is the way I and many others started. But being emotional, needy, and vulnerable creatures as human beings, it rarely works out so well.

Good luck,

Korbel

I totally agree with you, Korbel. It's all well and good to create a set of guidelines, actually adhering to them is another matter entirely. We all have our vulnerabilities , and sometimes those are exposed by circumstances completely beyond our control.

 

[Regular Guy]

Not so different!

dont ever trust a sp and dont ever love them because they will hurt you with no pitty in a heart beat...so now im been very depresse for the last 6 weeks because i actually like her...lol(shame on me and i hope god will forgive me for being so stupid and naive)after reading emmanuelle post from eleganza on merb so now we all know what they thing of us, but let me tell you what i thing of them"we paid them for sexe and plaisir,that it that all)

I do feel for you, my friend. Just a point that sp's are human. Wear your heart on your sleeve with any girl and you cease to keep it interesting for her. You will run across this kind of thing with girls who are not sp's as well. It is a story as old as relationships. The only difference is that it is more likely to occur with sp's because of the business-like nature of the relationship. You have called them. Right then and there you are not on an equal footing. Buy a drink for a stripper and more often than not they will regard it as an advantage for them. It's a game. Show one sign of weakness and you have lost. It's about reading people. Not all sp's or strippers for that matter so spoiled selfish or vindictive. You will find the odd decent one. But keep your eyes wide open. Keep your feelings in check until you get some idea of her ethics. Even then it can be a crap shoot, not just with sp's but in the dating scene as well.

 

[UNIVAC]

The poison is in the dosage.

Just like a drug can help you, it can also hurt or kill you depanding on the amount. Visiting massage places and service providers can be an escape, or if a person is addicted then it can cost him his job, home and or family.

 

[malboro_man]

Update

Hello fellow members: I am sorry to post again, but I just needed to vent a little, maybe obtain some insights. I am amazed by the experience and intelligence of fellow hobbyists. Being almost 40, I feel like a kid compared to some of the “combat veterans” here.

I saw that girl again who rejected me (let’s call her “ICE QUEEN”). Actually, I saw her twice this week. Conversation was short and cordial but nothing personal though. Last week, she said we might be able to go out as “friends” (that’s a cursed word, I know). I got her contact info. It seems like there is a distance between us now because I asked her out. I thought I broke the ice with Ice Queen but apparently not. I am afraid to ask her out again even as friends because the distance that I felt.

Why do women always play these games? She gave me her contact info, but my spider sense tells me that she will say no even as a friend. I am trying to forget about her, but I find it hard. If budget permits, hobbying might alleviate the situation. However, I don’t want to spend any more on hobbying for the next few months (at least).

A wise man once said to me (I’ll share with you): “Being a man is not just about the size of his wallet or his dick or his looks. A man must hone his ability to make proper judgment and decisions, to think beyond the normal parameters, and to see underneath the underneath. If you are going to be a man, become wiser. If you remain an idiot, you will find it tough to live in this world. That is the harsh truth”.

The smart thing to do is to ditch any feelings/infactuation for Ice Queen. But, I will choose to be an idiot a bit longer (repetition compulsion). Having been in the hobbying world for so long, I don’t know how to deal with the civilian world. How do you deal with Ice Queens? You know, the ones that are really cold with shields ready, photon torpedoes and phasers ready to fire.

In my pre-hobbying days, I am attracted to the outgoing types. I must say, I have no experience with Ice Queens.

I apologize again for posting here but only a hobbyist can understand a hobbyist.

 

[Godspeed]

Oui moi au début (ça fait tout juste un an que je pratique le hobby) je pouvais aller à 3 salons de massage par semaine, alors que mon budget ne me le permettait pas. 300-400$ par semaine c'est beaucoup pour un étudiant... Après 3 mois intensifs je me suis contrôlé heureusement. C'est difficile de faire la différence entre le vrai et le faux avec les SPs / MPs... Surtout que souvent elles ont presque mon âge, et c'est plus facile que d'aborder une femme dans la rue/un bar, etc... Mais moi ça m'a aidé à reprendre confiance après une rupture difficile. Ceux qui ont fréquenté une dérangée mentale me comprendront.

Une fois une 'gérante' de salon a appelé chez moi à 3h du matin alors que j'étais en route ça m'a causé beaucoup de trouble avec une coloc qui a été réveillée par l'appel... J'imagine si j'étais marié la merde dans laquelle je me serais retrouvé!

Je suppose que comme dans toutes choses la modération doit prévaloir.

 

[eastender]

Basic Question

Hello fellow members: I am sorry to post again, but I just needed to vent a little, maybe obtain some insights. I am amazed by the experience and intelligence of fellow hobbyists. Being almost 40, I feel like a kid compared to some of the “combat veterans” here.

I saw that girl again who rejected me (let’s call her “ICE QUEEN”). Actually, I saw her twice this week. Conversation was short and cordial but nothing personal though. Last week, she said we might be able to go out as “friends” (that’s a cursed word, I know). I got her contact info. It seems like there is a distance between us now because I asked her out. I thought I broke the ice with Ice Queen but apparently not. I am afraid to ask her out again even as friends because the distance that I felt.

Why do women always play these games? She gave me her contact info, but my spider sense tells me that she will say no even as a friend. I am trying to forget about her, but I find it hard. If budget permits, hobbying might alleviate the situation. However, I don’t want to spend any more on hobbying for the next few months (at least).

A wise man once said to me (I’ll share with you): “Being a man is not just about the size of his wallet or his dick or his looks. A man must hone his ability to make proper judgment and decisions, to think beyond the normal parameters, and to see underneath the underneath. If you are going to be a man, become wiser. If you remain an idiot, you will find it tough to live in this world. That is the harsh truth”.

The smart thing to do is to ditch any feelings/infactuation for Ice Queen. But, I will choose to be an idiot a bit longer (repetition compulsion). Having been in the hobbying world for so long, I don’t know how to deal with the civilian world. How do you deal with Ice Queens? You know, the ones that are really cold with shields ready, photon torpedoes and phasers ready to fire.

In my pre-hobbying days, I am attracted to the outgoing types. I must say, I have no experience with Ice Queens.

I apologize again for posting here but only a hobbyist can understand a hobbyist.

There is a very basic question that you overlook - "What do you know about her - past and present?".

Once you have the answer(s) it may be obvious why she is available and why the games are being played.

 

[korbel]

thank you korbel and uhgl for your support,
just talking about make me feel good but i will never ever trust a sp again...never a girl desrespected me like she did,alots of bad thing happend on vacation that will haunt my convidence and my ego...she had no business sending me that pm on merb,its very rare that i ask a sp for her number because i just like having fun with them during the appointement...but what i dont understand she wassent like that when i was seeing her for the first 3 months ...why did she turned out like that on vacation?i will never know but what is sure right now that she is forgotten.

Hello Obvio007,

I had an offer several years ago to take an escort on a trip. I would pay for it, but all else including sex would be off of the clock. I didn't take it because of concern over becoming too attached. Now that I have been with SPs for several years I think I can hold my perspective pretty well, and I have considered asking an escort to go to Paris with me. I want to go so much, but not alone. If I ever do I have to remember she isn't my girlfriend and avoid complications that may arise out of starting to presume or wish for that. When you are seeing anyone where money is the basis or a large part of the relationship you never know what you really have.

Cheers,

Korbel

 

[Miss Maria]

Dont feel to bad, try to imagine how F***cked up the young pretty SP's are going to be once they hit mid 20's and early 30's.

After selling your body and soul on hundreds of occasions to just about anyone at such a young age, (young/fat/old/handsome/ugly/muscular etc..) they no longer know what love is or what real love making is all about.

...

You started in your 30's and you feel f**cked up today. Imagine the female SP's who start in there teens....and how they will become latter on...
...

There is also the rare exception that one can live a normal life afterwards. Normal life meaning having a family, husband, children, regular job etc. But those are few and seldom I would say 90% will fall in the other category. I still have not met one SP who has turned into a family woman, but I know many retired SP's who regret the day they gave there bodies to the $$$.

Hello!!

I have not read the whole thread but just the beggining and let me try to explain what popped out at me.

Why is there only one Good choice for women (Family, husband, regular job..)?

Even a woman who is not in this buisness still feels that pressure from society that she will never be a complete person unless she accomplishes those things.

Not everyone wants that for themselves. It is not an absolute for all women.

Some women, like me, do not worry about marrying or getting a life partner (Those people just come, you can't force it), Or having children (There are alot of other things that women can do and still feel complete, plus you would need the guy first), or have a secure job (Some people like the fluidity of certain professions and the challenge of not knowing what will come next.

The ost important thing to always being happy is always doing what you love. I love this profession along with all the other things I do in my life because I chose them to be part of my life.



Maria

 

[UHGL]

Hello fellow members: I am sorry to post again, but I just needed to vent a little, maybe obtain some insights. I am amazed by the experience and intelligence of fellow hobbyists. Being almost 40, I feel like a kid compared to some of the “combat veterans” here.

I saw that girl again who rejected me (let’s call her “ICE QUEEN”). Actually, I saw her twice this week. Conversation was short and cordial but nothing personal though. Last week, she said we might be able to go out as “friends” (that’s a cursed word, I know). I got her contact info. It seems like there is a distance between us now because I asked her out. I thought I broke the ice with Ice Queen but apparently not. I am afraid to ask her out again even as friends because the distance that I felt.

Why do women always play these games? She gave me her contact info, but my spider sense tells me that she will say no even as a friend. I am trying to forget about her, but I find it hard. If budget permits, hobbying might alleviate the situation. However, I don’t want to spend any more on hobbying for the next few months (at least).

A wise man once said to me (I’ll share with you): “Being a man is not just about the size of his wallet or his dick or his looks. A man must hone his ability to make proper judgment and decisions, to think beyond the normal parameters, and to see underneath the underneath. If you are going to be a man, become wiser. If you remain an idiot, you will find it tough to live in this world. That is the harsh truth”.

The smart thing to do is to ditch any feelings/infactuation for Ice Queen. But, I will choose to be an idiot a bit longer (repetition compulsion). Having been in the hobbying world for so long, I don’t know how to deal with the civilian world. How do you deal with Ice Queens? You know, the ones that are really cold with shields ready, photon torpedoes and phasers ready to fire.

In my pre-hobbying days, I am attracted to the outgoing types. I must say, I have no experience with Ice Queens.

I apologize again for posting here but only a hobbyist can understand a hobbyist.

Mr M,

Please ask yourself a few questions....... have your feelings for her changed? Do you still believe her to be the kind of woman that would use you as coldly as you believe she did? Can you see her without holding your bitter past against her? From your original post, I don't think you have moved on. Why not start new fantasies with a different escort and stay in control this time? There will be enough time, after you don't have as strong feelings for her to see her again, if you so choose....... maybe you will have both grown enough to be more honest in what ever feelings you have for each other. But you need to give it time.

It is true that I cannot always take my own advice, but it does not mean it is bad advice. Good luck with working it out...... it is not the easiest thing to do.


UHGL

 

[malboro_man]

To Eastender

There is a very basic question that you overlook - "What do you know about her - past and present?".

Once you have the answer(s) it may be obvious why she is available and why the games are being played.

Well, I don't know that much about her past. She said she recently broke up w/ her bf. At present, she has no one in her life. Maybe she's looking for some jerk to break her heart again. I thought I broke her shell a bit. I tell her jokes and made her smile. But, some days though, she's in her Ice Queen mode. I thought it was her period or something.

To be honest, I should move on. She's almost as damaged as I am, basically unrefundable. But, some people never learn.

 

[malboro_man]

To: UHGL

Mr M,

Please ask yourself a few questions....... have your feelings for her changed? Do you still believe her to be the kind of woman that would use you as coldly as you believe she did? Can you see her without holding your bitter past against her? From your original post, I don't think you have moved on. Why not start new fantasies with a different escort and stay in control this time? There will be enough time, after you don't have as strong feelings for her to see her again, if you so choose....... maybe you will have both grown enough to be more honest in what ever feelings you have for each other. But you need to give it time.

It is true that I cannot always take my own advice, but it does not mean it is bad advice. Good luck with working it out...... it is not the easiest thing to do.


UHGL

UHGL: My feelings for her haven't changed at this point.

I don't think Ice Queen has used me at this point. We haven't gone out, so there is no opportunity for her to use me. The only thing I can think of is that she's leading me to believe that we can be "friends" (whatever that means these days). It would stroke her ego knowing some puppy dog (me) would follow her around.

I thought of starting new fantasies with escorts, but that's what I have been doing for the last few years! I get rejected; I hobbied; I spent an exorbitant amount of money. In the end, I am not equipped to deal with the "real world". I thought this girl would help me quit the hobby. I have always believed that if you try hard enough, anything is possible (though I don't actually do it all the time). Ice Queens are the most difficult women to deal with, worse than Gold-diggers. I must admit, I am a Ice King myself. If I don't like a woman, almost nothing can change my mind. I pitied an annoying girl who kept asking me out in the past, but I kept saying no every time. Then, she spread rumors, saying I am gay.

Thank you, UHGL, for your advice, as always. You are a wise man indeed! Take care!

 

[eastender]

Vulnerability

Well, I don't know that much about her past. She said she recently broke up w/ her bf. At present, she has no one in her life. Maybe she's looking for some jerk to break her heart again. I thought I broke her shell a bit. I tell her jokes and made her smile. But, some days though, she's in her Ice Queen mode. I thought it was her period or something.

To be honest, I should move on. She's almost as damaged as I am, basically unrefundable. But, some people never learn.

Suspect she is being careful. She may feel she is still vulnerable after her previous relationship.

Consider the various trigger points that may bring back negative memories for her but that you may not be aware off. Anything from a song on the radio, the colour of your shirt, a restaurant that you may suggest.

 

[korbel]

Well, I don't know that much about her past. She said she recently broke up w/ her bf. At present, she has no one in her life. Maybe she's looking for some jerk to break her heart again. I thought I broke her shell a bit. I tell her jokes and made her smile. But, some days though, she's in her Ice Queen mode. I thought it was her period or something.

To be honest, I should move on. She's almost as damaged as I am, basically unrefundable. But, some people never learn.

Hello Malboro Man,

I knew someone like this once, only much more extreme. A year before I met her she had moved far away to another state with a guy she thought she was going to marry. Not long after the move the guy said to her basically, I want to see other women...live with it. Well, what a tough heartbreak. So we met at a pre-wedding dinner. She was beautiful and very nice at the dinner and I asked her out. Yes, of course he said. But out on a date she threw this suit of emotional armor around her and refused to allow herself to enjoy the time or let any attempt to connect with her succeed. Talk about "ICE"...she could have sunk a thousand Titanics. She was so bitter about men it was impossible to reach her. I tried for six dates, then the hell with it. That was about 12 years ago. I hear she is still alone and bitter. To paraphrase "Cool Hand Luke"...some women you just can't reach.

Cheers,

Korbel

PS

HEY...post 2000 coming up.

 

[obvio007]

PS

HEY...post 2000 coming up.

korbel congradulation on your 2000 post

now your in the elite categories of merb