How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[sene5hos]

After my separation I started to meet erotic masseuses, then escorts.
I didn't leave the hobby with a smile, I left because of illness.
But as soon as it was possible, I started dating again.

An exceedingly important thing is to keep control over the frequency, otherwise there will be forfeiture.

That said, I said to myself that I have worked all my life, and now that I live alone, and that my children have a good life, it is time for me to think of myself.
And that's what I've been doing for several years now.

We must respect each other and meet women who correspond to our principles of life.

 

[cloudsurf]

I`ve thought of quitting several times in the last few years. But merb keeps drawing be back. The best way to quit, in my opinion would be to cut yourslelf off from any sex related social media......and masturbate regularly and often.
I haven`t quit yet but I`ve cut back from 3 girls a week a few years ago to 2 or 3 a month these days. Before it was variety and quantity, now its quality and repeats.

 

[MrProfiteroles]

Like my friend Marsouin said ofenly (prompt rétablissement) we are all wallets!!!
You can be close and having fun with your ATF but at the end don't expect her to show up if you don't have your envelope prepared for her!

 

[sene5hos]

Yes, you have to be aware that you are paying for a service, and this service is not an obligation.

But all these women are doing this for the money, and you are, to a greater or lesser degree, an ATM.

 

[cloudsurf]

Like my friend Marsouin said ofenly (prompt rétablissement) we are all wallets!!!
You can be close and having fun with your ATF but at the end don't expect her to show up if you don't have your envelope prepared for her!

True, but if you and her have a comfort zone and great chemistry....and you both enjoy out of the vanilla zone kink, then expect more extras from her .

 

[Gazoo64]

As stated by others, I enjoy this hobby, so I’ll keep doing it. Contrary to the previous post about quitting, we can enjoy the finer things in life AND the hobby as well. It’s not one or the other.

It’s like when we’re enjoying a glass of wine during supper, it doesn’t mean that we’re alcoholics. It’s about doing things in moderation.

And I’m happy when I see some of my favourites, and when it’s over, I look forward to the next encounter. But I look forward to other things in life as well!

Needless to say, I disagree with the previous post about quitting the hobby. If I enjoy it, I can afford it and it’s not taking over my life, then it’s all good. To each his own!

 

[cloudsurf]

Needless to say, I disagree with the previous post about quitting the hobby.

You can disagree based on your situation and priorities in life. Others may have issues , like health , age, financials and getting into a serious relationship with a partner.
Besides most people who quit the hobby don`t talk about it....they just do it.

 

[MCTJ]

The post above in French by Lorem Ipsum is spot on in terms of how the hobby can turn one life's upside down. I myself have been close to this point in the past. Things are under control from me, but it's fairly easy for anyone to lose control both from a financial and mental health perspective.

 

[envelopes]

I make sure I only hobby when I travel. Helps me separate the hobby from my normal life.

If I don't travel, then I don't see SPs. Helps me see it as an event, not as something part of my normal life.

Helps that the hobby scene in my city died lol

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

But as soon as it was possible, I started dating again

Seeing escorts doesnt fall in the dating category imho.

 

[CaptRenault]

Pour moi, cette simple phrase nous en apprend beaucoup sur vous.

Hein? Je croyais que c'était cette phrase:

 

[Numerati]

I make sure I only hobby when I travel. Helps me separate the hobby from my normal life.

If I don't travel, then I don't see SPs. Helps me see it as an event, not as something part of my normal life.

Helps that the hobby scene in my city died lol

Yup!

Hobbying when traveling to Montreal/Vegas/Toronto or whatever city in my personal experience was more eventful than hobbying when I lived full time in Montreal.

Also when Montreal was active in touring my city the hobbying was not as satisfying and kind of stressful. As when I was traveling and hobbying you are in your hotel room, things are happening on your turf so there is not much "stress" involved where you can take your time and prep and such. More importantly when hobby/traveling I see multiple women in a three day time span as opposed to just seeing one when in my own city where I am living.

When hobbying and living your life are more separated you don't tend to get very eager to lose control so you keep things in check. Plus with me if I had amazing experiences I like to step back and cool down to keep myself in check as once I have my urges and needs satisfied I can go and focus on building and creating until the next cycle builds up and comes along. Ahhhh memories!

 

[Fradi]

Personally there is absolutely no reason for me to stop.
Number one I enjoy being with someone who is totally gorgeous goes out of her way to please me and the few ladies that I see have become like friends.
Apart from that I spend a lot of time with family and golf and other activities with friends for me it is total pleasure to be with some of these young ladies, it beats dating women in my age bracket who don’t compare in looks usually come with a shit load of baggage and grown up idiot kids, not to mention that they all want a financial benefactor to correct the life they have fucked up.
Seeing these young ladies is fun, no commitments and no worries, you leave and go back to enjoying life with your kids and grand kids.
I am not looking for a GF or wife or significant other, none would compare to the one I had for a lifetime anyway, SP suit me just fine for now.

 

[Julia Sky]

"Les escortes vous exploitent."

On va se calmer. On fait notre travail, c'est tout. On offre un service que vous choisissez de vous payer. Ça n'est pas de l'exploitation. Si tu te sens mal face à ces activités, c'est que tu t'exploites tout seul. Pour preuve, 99% du temps si tu dis à une escorte que tu as une addiction malsaine et que tu souhaiterais qu'elle refuse de te voir dans le futur, elle va respecter ça. I know I have in the past. C'est juste que c'est pas notre job de deviner pour toi. Si tu m'écris pour prendre rdv avec moi et que j'accepte le booking, je ne suis pas en train de t'exploiter, je suis juste en train de faire ma job.

Est-ce que le barman exploite les gens qui boivent? Est-ce que ma technicienne d'ongles ou de laser hair removal ou mon chirurgien exploite les femmes qui ont des problèmes d'estime de soi? Est-ce que l'employé chez McDonald's exploite les gens qui ont une addiction au fast food? Le croupier au casino, est-ce qu'il exploite les gens qui ont des problèmes de gambling?

Non. Toutes ces personnes ne font que faire leur travail. Parce que 100% des gens ici sont exploités par le capitalisme. Je pense qu'il est injuste de frame it as "elles nous exploitent".

T'es un adulte. T'es sûrement plus vieux que moi. Aucune de nous n'est ta mère. Tu fais tes choix.

T'es le seul qui a le contrôle sur ta carte bancaire. Tu payes ton propre internet. Tu choisis de visiter des sites d'escortes. Tu choisis de nous contacter. De prendre rdv. De retirer de l'argent et de nous le donner pour le service que nous offrons.

T'es tout seul dans ta voiture après à regretter ton manque de self control. Nous on n'y est pour rien.

Donc non. On n'exploite pas les hommes. Tu t'exploites tout seul, et ce ne sont pas tous les hommes qui se sentent comme des merdes après nous avoir vu. I'm sorry to break it to you.

 

[CoolAmadeus]

Whoever thinks he's off this "hobby" and still come here on MERB (or other similar forums) to participate in threads, or even just read them, is delusional.

When you want to quit drinking, do you go to bars? Nope! Same here

This is just my humble opinion. I have quit this a few times, during long periods of abstinence, and at some points I fail and saw someone. I was back on the train. I personally think, however good someone thinks he is at quitting, however detached he might be, once you have known this "hoddy" for some time, you're doomed.

Sorry for the realism.

 

[CoolAmadeus]

Donc non. On n'exploite pas les hommes. Tu t'exploites tout seul, et ce ne sont pas tous les hommes qui se sentent comme des merdes après nous avoir vu. I'm sorry to break it to you.

Tout à fait d'accord... Malheureusement la chair est faible, et nous ne sommes juste pas capable de nous retenir. Malgré que les femmes ne nous aident pas, et malheureusement il est vraie que certaines d'entres elles savent très bien ce qu'elles font et en tirent avantage, au final ce n'est définitivement pas de leur faute, mais de la nôtre.

Reality check!

 

[2fast2slow]

Tu t'exploites tout seul...[]

well put...nobody is exploting anybody in consensual sex transactions...girls may decide the biz is not for them after a while and leave, and guys may feel it does not fulfill them and they still feel lonely after an encounter...does not mean someone was exploited...

 

[Fradi]

Donc non. On n'exploite pas les hommes. Tu t'exploites tout seul, et ce ne sont pas tous les hommes qui se sentent comme des merdes après nous avoir vu. I'm sorry to break it to you.

Nope not exploitation at all, nobody is forcing me.
I chose to see the ladies I see simply because they are totally gorgeous and a lot of fun to be with
I never have buyers remorse, money is meant to be spent on things you enjoy.
Is it addictive ? of course it is, why wouldn’t something that makes you happy and that you enjoy be addictive, from my point of view I would much rather be addicted to gorgeous women than drugs, alcohol or smoking.

 

[Clara Versailles]

Why was @just some guy's excellent post about degradation and delusion wiped off?

 

[just some guy]

Why was @just some guy's excellent post about degradation and delusion wiped off?

I deleted it as I thought in the end it may be too sensitive for some, but thank you.