I have absolutely no escape

[gamelessdork]

WARNING: WHINING INSIDE

Every time I go out in public, I see couples, I cannot avoid seeing it. I feel so incompetent every time I see them because I've never been able to get that for myself. So I try to avoid as much as I can, but I cannot be all successful. And I have a roommate, and he has a sort of GF, really just a FB, and she's always over, and she's so unfriendly, so I have no escape at home until my lease is up in 7 months. Go to the bar, it's all couples, or my friends are telling me about the girl they're banging or something like that.

I wish I could live on a desert island.

 

[rollingstone]

I know how ya feel bro. Just be thankful you haven't reached the stage where family and friends take the liberty of setting up blind dates for you!

 

[gamelessdork]

I know how ya feel bro. Just be thankful you haven't reached the stage where family and friends take the liberty of setting up blind dates for you!

It's not even possible in theory for me to date. I'm too old and too inexperienced and single women my age think nobody is good enough for them. Not to imply by any means that I'm some kind of catch or don't have my own problems. God I wish I were tom hanks in that castaway movie.

 

[Techman]

I know the feeling too. There was a time when I was the one with the gf and my friends were all single. Eventually they all married while I went from one babe to another. Now I'm totally single with no real prospects on the horizon and it gets tough sometimes. I'd like to tell you not to worry, you'll get used to it, but I'd be lying. When you get used to it, that's the time to worry. In the meantime there's always Cleo's.

 

[gamelessdork]

I know the feeling too. There was a time when I was the one with the gf and my friends were all single. Eventually they all married while I went from one babe to another. Now I'm totally single with no real prospects on the horizon and it gets tough sometimes. I'd like to tell you not to worry, you'll get used to it, but I'd be lying. When you get used to it, that's the time to worry. In the meantime there's always Cleo's.

I never even had what you used to have, so I should be used to it, I have no excuse to be otherwise, but I just get really pissed off. My roommate was out of town for 4 days, so his gf wasn't over thank god, and now he's back, and i lost my only refuge, and I'm reminded again of what a failure I am. Sucks.

 

[Fat Happy Buddha]

WARNING: WHINING INSIDE

Every time I go out in public, I see couples, I cannot avoid seeing it. I feel so incompetent every time I see them because I've never been able to get that for myself. So I try to avoid as much as I can, but I cannot be all successful. And I have a roommate, and he has a sort of GF, really just a FB, and she's always over, and she's so unfriendly, so I have no escape at home until my lease is up in 7 months. Go to the bar, it's all couples, or my friends are telling me about the girl they're banging or something like that.

I wish I could live on a desert island.

I'm sure many of us can sympathize with you. Except for that small elite group called the "beautiful and popular", most of us have been in your situation at some time in our lifes. I can remember periods in my life when I felt like the biggest gamelessdork ever.

Are you asking for advice? I'm sure there are others on the board who can give you some great ideas on how to feel better about your current situation. I'll start the ball rolling by suggesting that you should make the most out of what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don't have. As a married man, I can tell you that there days when I dream of being single again. God, I had so much fun when I was single. Travelling where and when I wanted. Going to massage parlours for four and five hours at a stretch and not feeling guilty about it. You may have noticed that couples argue a lot. If being in a couple was the key to happiness, why would there be so many men who call their wives the "ball and chain"?

I don't want tell you that being in a couple is no fun. It can be really nice sometime. But it is really, really hard work. I promise you, when you do find your girlfriend/wife (and you WILL find one sooner or later), it won't be long before you looking back fondly to your bachelor days.

The Chinese have a saying: In the summer heat, we long for winter. In the winter cold, we long for summer.

 

[Fat Happy Buddha]

You know gamelessdork, sometimes, to be married is not that much better. You can still have no sex and you can't even date anyone since you're engaged. It seems that we always want what we can't have.

There you go, gameless. While I was typing martinl68 wrote exactly the same thing in one tenth of the space.

I have the feeling you are going to have a lot of merbites offering to change places with you.

 

[Techman]

I'd much rather be in my situation than be stuck in a sexless marriage or a bad relationship. If you decide to stick at home and hide instead of at least trying to go out and meet someone, then it's your own fault. You don't have to go down to some trendy bar where all the pretentious people hang out. Most neighborhoods have local bars where you can drop in now and then. You'd be surprised how easy it is to meet people once you give it a chance. Don't go out looking for something, just go. get friendly with the waitress, barman or barmaid. In a month or so you'll be a regular and have found some new friends which could lead anywhere. Give it a shot.

 

[chef]

.........I have the feeling you are going to have a lot of merbites offering to change places with you.

I would like to be the first in line to do so.

 

[gamelessdork]

You know gamelessdork, sometimes, to be married is not that much better. You can still have no sex and you can't even date anyone since you're engaged. It seems that we always want what we can't have.

At least you got to have sex while dating. I missed out on what were supposed to be the best years of my life. Totally sucks. And now women my age only want millionaires or assholes with mad game playing skills, and younger women want players and young guys... I'm totally screwed (not literally of course!)

 

[Esco!]

GD, ususally things will get better, so just stick with it is my advice

 

[gamelessdork]

I'm sure many of us can sympathize with you. Except for that small elite group called the "beautiful and popular", most of us have been in your situation at some time in our lifes. I can remember periods in my life when I felt like the biggest gamelessdork ever.

Are you asking for advice? I'm sure there are others on the board who can give you some great ideas on how to feel better about your current situation. I'll start the ball rolling by suggesting that you should make the most out of what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don't have. As a married man, I can tell you that there days when I dream of being single again. God, I had so much fun when I was single. Travelling where and when I wanted. Going to massage parlours for four and five hours at a stretch and not feeling guilty about it. You may have noticed that couples argue a lot. If being in a couple was the key to happiness, why would there be so many men who call their wives the "ball and chain"?

I don't want tell you that being in a couple is no fun. It can be really nice sometime. But it is really, really hard work. I promise you, when you do find your girlfriend/wife (and you WILL find one sooner or later), it won't be long before you looking back fondly to your bachelor days.

The Chinese have a saying: In the summer heat, we long for winter. In the winter cold, we long for summer.

Man, I'm early thirties and never have had a gf before. The longest "relationship" i've been in has been little over a month, happened twice. both times, little over a month. A lot of people don't even live to be my age. My best friend sure didn't live to my age. So it's very possible for me to die before ever having had something I could call "my girlfriend".

My bachelor days as fond memories? hahah.. oh god. I don't think I even had a real date date until I was 27. thank god for college parties when I was in college, otherwise I probably would never even have made out with a girl. ugh.

yes, I'm pretty bitter.. i shouldn't have drank last night, it gets me in bad moods because I observe what's going on at the bar and realize what I've never had and probably never will have.

 

[gamelessdork]

I'd much rather be in my situation than be stuck in a sexless marriage or a bad relationship. If you decide to stick at home and hide instead of at least trying to go out and meet someone, then it's your own fault. You don't have to go down to some trendy bar where all the pretentious people hang out. Most neighborhoods have local bars where you can drop in now and then. You'd be surprised how easy it is to meet people once you give it a chance. Don't go out looking for something, just go. get friendly with the waitress, barman or barmaid. In a month or so you'll be a regular and have found some new friends which could lead anywhere. Give it a shot.

I only go to Irish bars. There's not many women at those places because it's less pretentious there, the girls tend to go to trendy idiot places. But I stil was surrounded by guys putting their hands on their girls' asses, and I felt like shit. I usually always talk to people. I never have any goal o fmeeting women, as I never really have before, so it's not a realistic expectation for me. I'm a regular at my local bar, I made some drinking buddies, we tell embarrassing stories (they know my worst one).. I got a number from a chick once, had a bad date, she wasn't interested in me (and I felt if I couldn't get that girl, then I don't have a prayer with anyone), and she came in with her new bf last week. I felt like shit. But I still go. Was there last night, was at a different bar earlier to watch the Eagles game (where the guys and girls were) and I overheard converstaions (young college kids talking about getting laid, girls talking about where they've had sex) and I felt really, really bad.. Though I butted in a couple times and talk to them briefly. I spoke with the bartender.. At my local bar, I know the bartenders really well. When I walk in, they pour my first drink without me even having to ask for me.

 

[chef]

GD,

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Do you have to justify your actions to anyone ? Does it matter if you go to Cleo's and leave with lipstick on your collar ? Do you have anyone to answer to if you get home late? Perhaps you should eavesdrop on some of those "happy couples" in bars to determine if all is rosy in their world.

You have to juggle the good with the bad in this world. Okay, sometimes you may drop the ball, but you can always pick it up (hoping of course that when you bend over to do so no one kicks you in the keyster).

 

[Esco!]

Man, I'm early thirties and never have had a gf before.

The longest "relationship" i've been in has been little over a month, happened twice. both times, little over a month.

This doesnt make sense to me, its contradictory.
Care to explain??

 

[gamelessdork]

Then find ways to become a Thomas Crown then. What is stopping you?
Yet don't go to find ways to be an asshole since they are born and not made.
As for playing skills? Well that can be learned and acquired too.

Honestly being single is the shit. I truly miss it. And that was like a month ago.

When you say "single" you mean not being committed to someone. For me, single = celibacy. I'm reading books about game, listen to hypnosis CDs, etc. Just too much of a coward to be the dick you have to be.

 

[gamelessdork]

GD,

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Do you have to justify your actions to anyone ? Does it matter if you go to Cleo's and leave with lipstick on your collar ? Do you have anyone to answer to if you get home late? Perhaps you should eavesdrop on some of those "happy couples" in bars to determine if all is rosy in their world.

You have to juggle the good with the bad in this world. Okay, sometimes you may drop the ball, but you can always pick it up (hoping of course that when you bend over to do so no one kicks you in the keyster).

Seriously, you needed to see those girls at that bar. Unbelievable. Remember, these are college kids, they aren't married. The guy has sex with her and that's about it. He doesn't have to deal with her issues because she's too young to even have many issues. Sure, she's probably a total bitch, probably devoted to Prada and whatever, but he doesn't care, she's putting out.

I missed out on that. Never had that. I observe people, and I'm not touchy feely like everyone else is. The chicks i knew in college, I don't even think one ever even hugged me, let alone let me as a friend grab her ass.

 

[gamelessdork]

This doesnt make sense to me, its contradictory.
Care to explain??

Well think about this. My roommate has been seeing this girl for 5 months now, and he won't refer to her as his gf, because it's just purely casual. Sure, they hang and watch tv, but it's really just about sex. She's his fuck buddy. I'm sure he'd like a relationship with her, but I doubt she would commit to anyone, but then again, I don't know her, as she won't say a word to me, not even hello. That's 5 months.

The longest I've ever dated a girl was about 1.5 months. Chicks would NEVER consider that a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship, as it's too short. One of the girls asked me if I wanted to be a her bf, and I said yes, but then 2 weeks later she dumped me. I think you probably need to be seeing a girl for 3+ months and have a talk of exclusivity before you can be deemed to be a couple (bf-gf).

So I had these 1 month flings twice, and the last one was 2 years ago, and I think 2 years ago today was the day she ended it, and the one 2 years ago was freaking long distance too. Got my ass dumped again.

Never had a gf during college, I could have, but I declined the rare girl that showed any interest in me, stupid, I know. So basically I did have a 4 month long pseudo and non sexual relationship with a girl in college. made out with her a couple times, but that's it. didn't so much as have a date from age 22-27.

 

[Esco!]

Well GD, some girls did show interest in you, even if it was for a month or so.
Who's to say some other girl wont sometime in the future???

EDIT: Also let me give you some advice, you're probably not the best-looking guy
in the world so here's what I would do:

Cut your hair short (women like clean cut), shave off all beards or moustaches.
If you are overweight start hitting a gym and lose weight.
Try to wear some nice clothes if you can afford it.

Start with that and see where it goes

 

[Techman]

I'll let you in on a secret...if you go to a bar feeling like a loser and acting like a loser, everyone will think you're a loser. Go in with a good attitude. Smile, have a good time or at least pretend like you are. If you frequent the same bar all the time, the people already know you and the attitude you project. You won't get anywhere there. Find another place. Don't go to college hangouts. The girls will think you're a loser that can't get anyone his own age, unless you pull up in a Ferrari and start buying rounds of drinks for everyone. Try something other than an Irish bar where most of the people just go to get smashed. Go to a fs strip club or something just to break out of your slump. Come to the next gt at Cleo's.
There's so much you can do. Feeling sorry for yourself won't do anything.
Forget the past, live for now and don't worry about the future.