Long term arrangements

[EagerBeaver]

Sam21,

Mr. BlueBalls is a little different kind of guy than your soccer friend. He is a very good looking guy, dresses very well, is well spoken and confident. I don’t really feel sorry for any of the women he sportfucks on SA, because they are voluntary players in the game and they should know that he is the kind of “sportfucker” they are signing up for.

Mr. Blue Balls problem is his ego. He seems to enjoy the challenge of getting women to fall in love with him and want him. I am guessing he is probably a good sexual companion for most women because he does cross-fit, weight trains and is very athletic and fit. We, his mutual friends, think he will eventually have a fatal attraction type girl on the other side and worry that one of his conquests will pull the angry psycho bitch revenge routine on him, maybe even spill the beans with his wife.

Although there are some things I don’t like about him including his obnoxious lack of any humility at all, he does have redeeming qualities. On the trips to Montreal he has joined us on, he has displayed unlimited and boundless social energy. We have gone to strip clubs and then on to cigar bars, had drinks, we (other friends) sat at a table while he met a SA girl at the bar of Cigar Bar, and then later watched as he brought two different SA girls to dinner at D’Emma, only to later fuck 2 different escorts with the cherry on the sundae being a post escort visit to one of the downtown MPs. He is a machine. I would never have the energy for that kind of explosion of pussy in one day, even when I was younger and my dick was hard all day. I admire his energy and find that it does wear off on me as far as getting motivated.

The guy certainly got his money’s worth of every Friday to Sunday weekend we did in Montreal.

 

[Kinky Cinderella]

I love players since I am a coach lolll... now I am curious about this guy....I have more than 120 messages behind and I think I will look if he contacted me...loll

 

[heliragedeleted]

Lol, got tired just by reading about mr blueballs

 

[Kinky Cinderella]

Lol, got tired just by reading about mr blueballs

Wanna fuck instead? :lol: We can talk afterward...

 

[CaptRenault]

. ..I never considered myself to have any kind of " game " when I was young or practised any kind of shtick to impress anyone.
Just had an easy going attitude with women, was always kind and overly polite with them ...they want to be treated with respect and kindness just like all the rest, I always found honesty and humour worked...

What you are describing is in a sense, "game." Game is the art of exploiting whatever combination of looks, personality, intelligence, sense of humor, style, education, income, talents etc. that you have to get women that you are interested in to be interested in you.

I don't like the word "game" because it has a negative connotation. It implies that a guy has to put on an act and be good at faking things. That can work for some guys sometimes. And some guys have so many positive attributes (like Mr. Blueballs) that they will attract a lot of women without even trying.

But for most of us, we have to work on our "game." In other words, we have to work at being someone that some (not all) women will find attractive. It's not that different from trying to get a promotion or a new job. We can all improve ourselves in the attributes that make us attractive to women.

Incidentally, the same principles apply to women. Women need to work on their "game" too. We all know women about whom we think things like "She would be hot if she would lose a few pounds, fix her hair, and dress better."

Why does game matter on SA? Because SA is something in between a dating site and an escort site. It's like a dating site in that women will reject many or most of the advances that men make towards them. They choose to interact with only with the men that have some "game" that they find attractive. But it's like an escort site in that the women are willing to cut through the bullshit of the dating game and go out with you and have sex with you quickly in return for cash, gifts or whatever. And they will often give you more time for less money than an escort.

I know that some guys will respond that they just want sex with a hot girl as easily and quickly as possible and that they don't want to work at attracting a woman that they will wind up paying just like they pay an escort. That's fine, then just stick to escorts. Or try your luck back in the regular dating market. But whether you pursue escorts, sugar babies or "civilian" girls, you need some "game" to be successful. Game is whatever helps you be successful.

 

[EagerBeaver]

What you are describing is in a sense, "game." Game is the art of exploiting whatever combination of looks, personality, intelligence, sense of humor, style, education, income, talents etc. that you have to get women that you are interested in to be interested in you. But for most of us, we have to work on our "game." In other words, we have to work at being someone that some (not all) women will find attractive. It's not that different from trying to get a promotion or a new job. We can all improve ourselves in the attributes that make us attractive to women.

Why does game matter on SA? Because SA is something in between a dating site and an escort site. It's like a dating site in that women will reject many or most of the advances that men make towards them. They choose to interact with only with the men that have some "game" that they find attractive. But it's like an escort site in that the women are willing to cut through the bullshit of the dating game and go out with you and have sex with you quickly in return for cash, gifts or whatever. And they will often give you more time for less money than an escort.

I agree with all of this. I am using game to mainly describe the way of communicating with women to get them interested in you. My game has changed dramatically since I first started on SA. Women actually respect it when you are honest about your intentions and can articulate them in a way that is respectful and candid but not rude. Too often when I started on SA I was a little too blunt and cutting to the chase a little bit too much. I invest a lot more time now in crafting the the initial messages, which set the tone. I lay out what I am willing to do, and what I ultimately expect in return and how I think an arrangement should go. When I actually meet a woman, I discuss the positive aspects of past arrangements in terms of there being a "partnership" on activity decisions- decisions on what movie to watch on Netflix, to what restaurant to eat at, to what activities we will do on a trip to New York City. Women like to hear that kind of stuff. It makes them feel important on the decision making process.

I took a young but very sophisticated SA date (Yale girl) to a somewhat swanky brunch restaurant. After scanning the menu, I was absolutely torn between the smoked salmon with cream cheese on an everything bagel, with capers, lettuce, and tomatoes on the side, or Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes with Organic Connecticut Maple Syrup. I had the smoked salmon bagel on a prior visit weeks before, and it was absolutely awesome (very very high quality salmon), but the blueberry pancakes looked scrumptious and I wanted to try them. Total indecision. So I explained my dilemma to my date and said, "it's tearing me up and I can't decide. I want you to decide for me." She responded, almost immediately, "order the blueberry pancakes!"

That is game. In the past I would have stewed and stewed, overanalyzed the shit out of it, and then flipped a coin after 10 minutes, making the difficult decision on my own. Now, I involve the lady and let her make the decision and feel empowered. It's those kinds of things that help develop an arrangement IMHO.

 

[Kinky Cinderella]

The game.....it is funny how men under 45 tend to think they "won" when the girl they had in their target gives them her phone number.....as EB and Capt resumed...this is when you have her number the game starts...it does not end there!

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Raw1, you must be a younger, rather good looking guy or a genuinely rich guy or both. Or you have such fantastic "game" that you should write a book on how to succeed as a sugar daddy.

Snicker. Snicker. 30 girls in 8 months. Doesn't take "game." Doesn't take looks. Doesn't take anything but money. There are dozens upon dozens of escorts working through SA. When I was active on SA, I could easily have seen a different girl every day. I was getting easily an average of over a message a day that said no more than "Hello" or "How're you doing, handsome." Each and every one of these girls was obviously an escort. He hasn't seen an escort in 8 months. Balderdash. If it walks like a duck, if it looks like a duck...He's clearly seen at least 30 escorts in the last 8 months.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Now how many points is a loving relationship worth where a drop dead gorgeous woman is with you simply because she is just as nuts about you as you are about her and it is not about money.

LOL. When is it not about money? Not only are SBs usually quite attractive, they are also, as has been pointed out time and time again, considerably cheaper than a wife.

As that great lexicographer, Ambrose Bierce, pointed out long ago, there are two kinds of husbands, good providers and bad providers.

 

[CaptRenault]

. There are dozens upon dozens of escorts working through SA. When I was active on SA, I could easily have seen a different girl every day...

That's definitely not true where I live. I have noticed the presence of a handful of established escorts on SA in the area where I live but most of the women I have interacted with are not part of the local escort population.

I would imagine that Montreal would be quite different and that there would be a higher percentage of girls who are using SA to advertise escort services. But "dozens upon dozens?" Rumples, I don't think you can necessarily conclude that based on the fact that you received a lot of short messages. An alternative explanation might be that sugar babies outnumber sugar daddies and that there is a lot of competition from escorts. So the sugar babies are not getting the arrangements that they hoped to find and so they start "advertising" a lot. It's free to send messages so why not send out a lot.

Now having said that, I have stated previously that I believe that sugar babies are engaged in prostitution. If I had to define sugar baby, my definition would be: an amateur prostitute who chooses her own clients, seeks long term relationships with one or a small number of clients and has a flexible rate strategy rather than an inflexible hourly rate.

There's no question though that the vast majority of sugar relationships involve the exchange of money for sex. There may be other important aspects to a sugar relationship but the exchange of sex for money (or other valuable resources) is almost always an essential part of the relationship.

 

[Raw1]

Snicker. Snicker. 30 girls in 8 months. Doesn't take "game." Doesn't take looks. Doesn't take anything but money. There are dozens upon dozens of escorts working through SA. When I was active on SA, I could easily have seen a different girl every day. I was getting easily an average of over a message a day that said no more than "Hello" or "How're you doing, handsome." Each and every one of these girls was obviously an escort. He hasn't seen an escort in 8 months. Balderdash. If it walks like a duck, if it looks like a duck...He's clearly seen at least 30 escorts in the last 8 months.

Above is absolutely wrong. To give you some examples of girls I have met, HR manager at Bombardier (at her apartment), manager of laser quest, 18 year old student at Concordia multiple times in her apartment, student at Vanier etc. All of them between 18 and 29. Regarding money, half of what good escorts charge. I don’t consider my self rich or great looking either. My only game as some call it is being polite and respectful. Don’t go straight to sex for money discussion. Spend some time knowing her and take interest in what she wants and that will go a long way. Cheers.

 

[jalimon]

Above is absolutely wrong. To give you some examples of girls I have met, HR manager at Bombardier (at her apartment), manager of laser quest, 18 year old student at Concordia multiple times in her apartment, student at Vanier etc. All of them between 18 and 29. Regarding money, half of what good escorts charge. I don’t consider my self rich or great looking either. My only game as some call it is being polite and respectful. Don’t go straight to sex for money discussion. Spend some time knowing her and take interest in what she wants and that will go a long way. Cheers.

So basically it's exactly like you would approach a new client for your business. Don't be weird. Listen. Smile. Conclude

 

[Raw1]

So basically it's exactly like you would approach a new client for your business. Don't be weird. Listen. Smile. Conclude

You are spot on. They need the money but not at the expense of their dignity and not from someone who does not respect them. Treat them nice and you can get what you want most of the times.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Regarding the issue of being messaged by professional escorts on SA, there are filters on who is allowed to message you. I quickly got tired of girls from the Philippines proposing to do live webcam masturbation shows for $200 while I jerk off. So I learned to set my filters so that the only people who message me are those whom I message. IMHO, if you don't set your filters in this way, you get spammed and are not using the board correctly.

My experience using SA in Montreal is closer to Raw1's experience than using SA here in the USA. My success rate is higher and the amount paid for sex is less. The first Montreal SA girl I had sex with was a 21 year old mixed racial girl- French Canadian and Carribean with some Native American ancestry mixed in. I asked her where she wanted to meet on a first date and she said Dundee's. During the messages she told me she would not have sex on a first date which was code for "I will on the second date if the first one goes well." We did have sex on the second date, which was a 3 hour dinner date at Weinstein and Gavino's and then back to my rental condo at St. Catherine and Chomedey (forget the name of that condo complex). The cost was $300. That's $100 per hour which is normal rate for social time and exactly half the $600 I would pay for 3 hours with an agency girl. Sexual services included FS and BBBJTCIM. I am certain this girl was not an escort and had not worked anywhere as far as SCs, MPs or agencies. The agencies mostly don't want mixed racial or black girls anyway, except Asservissante and MSC. The girl had a job somewhere in Montreal, I think as a Nurse's Aide or what we could call a CNA. Her sexual performance was as good or better than a good escort's.

If I lived in Montreal I would use SA exclusively as a means of obtaining female companionship. However I found that it is often hard to set things up on short notice on a short weekend trip and if a girl cancels there is usually no opportunity for me to reschedule. Therefore agencies have been my necessary backup plan. I envy Raw1 and the other Montreal locals who can use SA exclusively because the possibilities are endless, for someone with the right attitude, skills, game and willingness to invest some time in it.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

I would imagine that Montreal would be quite different and that there would be a higher percentage of girls who are using SA to advertise escort services. But "dozens upon dozens?" Rumples, I don't think you can necessarily conclude that based on the fact that you received a lot of short messages. An alternative explanation might be that sugar babies outnumber sugar daddies and that there is a lot of competition from escorts. So the sugar babies are not getting the arrangements that they hoped to find and so they start "advertising" a lot. It's free to send messages so why not send out a lot.

Actually, the alternative explanation would be that there are hundreds and hundreds of girls in Montreal on SA. If you look at the profiles, it's pretty easy to spot the professionals.

In my active period on SA, I only received a small handful of messages that warranted a reply. One of them and I will celebrate the second anniversary of our meeting tomorrow night at a ritzy resto in the Old Port. It's been quite a ride and will continue to be so for quite a while. Easily the best relationship I've ever had with a woman in my nearly 70 years.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Now having said that, I have stated previously that I believe that sugar babies are engaged in prostitution. If I had to define sugar baby, my definition would be: an amateur prostitute who chooses her own clients, seeks long term relationships with one or a small number of clients and has a flexible rate strategy rather than an inflexible hourly rate.

Step back in time, and not very far, to a time when the idea of romantic love was a fantasy that few could afford. It was not so long ago when a young woman (or her family) searching for a suitable mate for herself (or their daughter) considered the potential husband's ability to support his bride the primary qualification. Even today arranged marriage is the rule rather than the exception. How are these women, the majority of women in fact right up to a time in the very recent past, not prostitutes every bit as much as the women with whom we spend our time?

How many marriages fail even today because the husband is a poor provider. How are women who leave their spouses for monetary reasons not prostitutes every bit as much as our friends.

In many places, the majority more than likely, non-support is grounds for divorce. Sounds to me like the state is sanctioning prostitution.

 

[CaptRenault]

...How are these women, the majority of women in fact right up to a time in the very recent past, not prostitutes every bit as much as the women with whom we spend our time?.

Rumples, I agree with you on this. As I've stated before, researchers such as evolutionary psychologists and economists have analyzed all kinds of relationships between men and women and they can be summed up by the phrase: women trade sex to men in exchange for resources. Whether the contract between a man and a woman is for one hour or a lifetime, "resources" can be anything from cash to gifts to dinner and a movie to a house and a lifetime of financial support.

Psychology Today has had some good columns about research related to this concept.

So I agree, marriage and prostitution are not all that different. These seemingly different institutions exist along a continuum of sexual relationships between men and women that all involve women trading sex to men in exchange for resources.


The Price of Sex: Women Rule, Men Drool, the Market's Cruel

Surprising insights from the new field of sexual economics

Psychology Today
5/4/2013

...The American psychology researcher Roy Baumeister of Florida State University has been advancing for some time now an interesting theory

[FONT=&amp] that analyzes the sexual act from an economic perspective. According to Baumeister, heterosexual sex can be understood as a marketplace in which men are the buyers and women are the sellers. According to this analysis, sex is essentially a female resource. In other words, female sexual activity is much in demand and has high social value, in contrast to male activity, which is plentiful and easy to come by and therefore worthless. A woman’s sexual consent is a valuable asset that may command a high price. Because his sex has no value in the market, the man, seeking to 'purchase' female sex, is required to bring other valuable social resources to the transaction, such as attention, time, love, respect, commitment, money, status, etc.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]What makes female sex so valuable? The ultimate reason lies with evolution. Evolutionarily speaking, man's investment in the sexual act and the risk he is taking are minimal. On the other hand, his pleasure (orgasm) is guaranteed, and each sexual encounter increases his chances for more offspring. The female’s investment in a sexual act and the risk she is taking are in contrast very high (the risk of death from complications of pregnancy or childbirth), her pleasure is not guaranteed, and having sex with multiple men does not increase her chances of getting more offspring. Therefore, sex for men is a no-risk/high-profit investment. For woman, the equation is reversed. Thus, the supply of female interest in sex is reduced, and since male demand is high, the price rises...[/FONT]

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

There are millions of people that live out their lives in a loving relationship, enjoying the love of a partner and the joy of a family that comes with it.

And many millions more who lead lives of quiet desperation, stuck in a marriage that soured long ago, but they stay in either for religious or financial reasons. You know the worst moment in most marriages? When the husband retires.

I once had a job in a resort area that catered to bus trips of retirees, mostly widowed women. These women were having the time of their lives, no longer anchored to a spouse who expected to be waited on hand and foot, as if their day raising the kids was any less exhausting than his day at work. And of course there was sex, sex usually for his pleasure and his alone. And she was expected to go along even though she tired of it years ago.

If you think that your happy marriage was the rule rather than the exception, you are deluding yourself. 50% of marriages today end in divorce. If not for financial or religious reasons or the stigma that still lingers, that figure would be much closer to 90%.

Inspector Renault's post pretty much nails it.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

I don't believe that they are born with a survival instinct that is calculating and bent on milking you for all you have.

It's not about survival instinct or evil intent. It is all about cultural conditioning. Up until quite recently, women were expected to stay at home, raise the kids, while the men did the providing, whether that means going to the office or off into the bush to do the hunting. That continues today for the majority of the world. A man's ability to provide is what makes him desirable as a husband...or a sugar daddy. Romantic love is a luxury, food a necessity.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

Sam, what you say is true on the coasts of North America. I think you'll find in "flyover" country that things have not changed as much as they have here.

My son-in-law's mother is still not happy that he chose his own wife. Things in India are pretty much still the way they were. Same for Indiana, Manitoba, etc.