Long term arrangements

[CoolAmadeus]

Met my dream girl, woman actually, 33, on SA exactly three years ago. It's been a fabulous ride. For the first couple of years, I'd see the occasional escort when she went home to BC to see her family, but the last few times she went off, I thought about it, but just wasn't in the mood. We're going to Ireland for a couple of weeks next month after which she's going out west again for a week. Remains to be seen if I'll do anything while she's gone.

Thanks for the nice words.

You do realize the way you used SA to find someone (and I'm very happy for you!) is probably VERY different from the majority of people here, right? From what I'm reading, your dream girl is very similar to what most people call a "wife" Whether it's a condition or not between you and her, it's almost as if you are faithful to each other, and you are almost like a couple, but with an arrangement (and sex I'm sure - which is not a given with a wife ). In fact, being in a couple is also an arrangement when you think about it. I have a joint bank account with my wife, and if she notices I forgot to put money in the account the day after the usual pay day, for sure she tells me! LOL

CA

 

[CoolAmadeus]

OK, CA, I'd like to know about the financial arrangements that you have made.

Do you usually pay per encounter or do you work out a weekly or monthly allowance?

In either case, what are the typical terms of the deal in dollar amounts and frequency and duration of the meetings?

Also, do you typically meet in an hourly motel or at the residence of the girl?

It would be interesting to know about such things for a city like Montreal, where it is so easy to find great escorts at reasonable prices.

A while back, I started with an ex-escort (not met on SA but here on MERB), and I was giving her $1,000 a month. She had kept 2 ex-clients, and I was one of the lucky ones (she told me only much later, as for months I tought I was the ONLY one). Then the finances became a bit difficult and I lowered the amount, and eventually stopped. I still have lunch with her once in a while, but she out of the biz now. That was before.

Nowadays, I never give more than $200 par meeting. Many women want more than that, and I have been labelled as "cheap" by a few. I don't mind. I'm a nice guy, I know it, and even if I give them less than some other men, I know they will have a great time (and NO I'm not delusional! LOL). But it goes very different from one woman to the other. Some will accept $150 right off, other will bargain it up or refuse less than so or so (250, 300, 400, 500 go figure!). One girl even asked me 5000 a month. I told her it was 60k$ NET a year, more than most people, and to come back on earth! LOL On one occasion, the young woman didn't want much, just to meet someone nice. She proposed $100 per meeting. I accepted (obviously!), but she only talks Spanish and not me. Google Translate is very useful, but although she's (still) a dream to be with in bed, it makes communication difficult and gets a lot of the pleasure away because we can't joke and laugh together. I still see her once every month or so. Last week I met an older woman for breakfeast. I din't want to see her because she is my age and obviously not as exciting as younger women I used to have fun with, but she kept telling me my profile was unique and it would be so bad to not at least get to know each other and see where it leads to, and yada yada yada. I gave in and in the end she was very nice. When ended up in a hotel room, had fun during 2 hours, and all it costed me was the breakfast and the room. She didn't want anything for herself, just to have fun.

Bottom line, nothing is set in stone. You propose, she disposes.

Where do we usually meet? Again it depends. I normally propose the hotel, but sometimes the girl prefers the simplicity of staying at home. My best encounters were at the woman's place. You bring her nice things to eat (coffee, croissants, whatever), and she leaves her door open for you to come in early in the morning, silently to not wake her up, get undress and slide under her sheets, cuddling her warmth (and waking her up). Mmmmmmm!

With two other ones it was more of a struggle. Both had roomates, and we had to time ourselves in such a way I could come in after they left, and before they come back. I tried with both of them to suggest it would be fun WITH her roomates, but it didn't work! hahaha

The duration of the meetings? Most of the times there is no set timing. In fact, if there is a timing, she's most probably an SP in disguise. Normally you're together for as long as you feel good together. It's normally between 1 to 4 hours, mostly in the range of 2-3 hours. With some women I used to go to a resto almost every time (that was in my "green" days), but mostly now you meet directly at the hotel or at her place, a bit of small talk, you have fun together, calm down talk and joke around, go at it again, calm down, go at it a third and last time, and off you both go.

One thing I learned about women that I didn't really realize when I was seing escorts (and with previous ex's or my wife), it's that MANY women are as sexual as us men can be! And I guess the fact they are on SA it's because they are open minded to start with, and are more lickely to like sex than the "usual" woman. I told you before, and I reapeat it: Many of these women have almost been raping me (and I love it! )

I hope that answers your questions

CA

 

[CoolAmadeus]

It would be interesting to know about such things for a city like Montreal, where it is so easy to find great escorts at reasonable prices.

Oh I forgot... Most of the women I met on SA were not escorts (I try my best to avoid escorts), and for the regular women on there, they mostly want to build something up with one or very few men. They much prefer to see you once or twice a month than meeting you once and never to see you again. They are not escorts after all! (Isssshhh I know, the line is thin sometimes)

CA

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

You do realize the way you used SA to find someone (and I'm very happy for you!) is probably VERY different from the majority of people here, right?

Oh sure. Our affair has all the positives of having a wife, and only one of the negatives. And the negative, the rather generous wealth redistribution I share with her each month is not really a negative as I'm quite happy to share my good fortune with her.

That said, we are not tied to each other. We meet two or three times a week, have sex on about 70% of those meetings. We are in some contact when we're not together, though it's not obligatory.

Her profile did specify that she's polyamorous so we're both free to do as we please when we're not together. I have no idea what kind of erotic life she might have when we're not together. It's never been discussed. I do know that she has no other arrangement for lack of need, for lack of interest, and certainly for lack of time. She's also told me she has no interest in guys her own age. Whatever she's doing on the outside, if anything at all, is most likely with other females or trans friends.

We certainly don't live together, have never discussed such a thing, and almost certainly never will. So far we've been to New York, Nova Scotia, Toronto, London, New Orleans, Hawaii, Berlin/Prague. We're spending 10 days in Ireland next month.

I give her about 3/4 of my social security check. That's what it's for, n'est pas? The exchange rate smiles down on me every month.

On the other side, we never do laundry together, she never tells me to take out the trash, she never asks me where I've been or what I've been doing. (Well, ok, she always asks what I'm doing, but never in a "checking up" way.) We don't fight about money or kids. In fact, we don't fight about anything. She doesn't care if I see escorts, though the only time that's ever been discussed is when I brought up the idea of inviting a particularly bisexual escort I'm still in contact with. She's totally up for it, though I haven't done it yet.

She's told me more than once that she considers herself the luckiest girl in the world. She acknowledges my generosity. She was probably born about 30 years too late. She's the hippie chick of my dreams.

Oh, she's also got a professional practice that she's developing that does provide her some income. My assistance also allows her to treat people who need, but can't afford her services.

 

[CaptRenault]

Nowadays, I never give more than $200 par meeting. Many women want more than that, and I have been labelled as "cheap" by a few. I don't mind. I'm a nice guy, I know it, and even if I give them less than some other men, I know they will have a great time (and NO I'm not delusional! LOL). But it goes very different from one woman to the other. Some will accept $150 right off, other will bargain it up or refuse less than so or so (250, 300, 400, 500 go figure!). One girl even asked me 5000 a month...Bottom line, nothing is set in stone. You propose, she disposes.

Where do we usually meet? Again it depends.
The duration of the meetings? Most of the times there is no set timing. In fact, if there is a timing, she's most probably an SP in disguise. Normally you're together for as long as you feel good together. It's normally between 1 to 4 hours, mostly in the range of 2-3 hours...

I hope that answers your questions..

CA

Thanks, CA. Great response-very interesting, frank and informative. :thumb:

You definitely answered my questions and your answers will be useful to anyone interested in arrangements. For some guys, your answers will encourage them to try it. For other guys, your answers will confirm that they don't want to do it. Also, I think your experience mirrors the experiences of some others who have commented in this thread. Though your experience has certainly been a lot more extensive than mine.

Again, it's great to have you participate on MERB. I know you won't become a regular again, but please drop by here from time to time let us know how you're doing and to tell us about your latest adventures.

 

[hungry101]

Oh sure. Our affair has all the positives of having a wife, and only one of the negatives. And the negative, the rather generous wealth redistribution I share with her each month is not really a negative as I'm quite happy to share my good fortune with her.

This all actually sounds kind of nice.

 

[oobe]

CA, a very complete description of SA and a good way to use it which should be highlighted as a recommended read for this thread!
Congrats!

but she only talks Spanish and not me.

I speak Spanish, you can send me her link

 

[jalimon]

I do agree that CA's post was amazing. Almost giving me the temptation to try SA again

Cheers,

 

[deadhead]

I agree and thank many of the detailed information and suggestions posted by you folks in here. I had briefly used SA once before a couple of years back, but I got really busy on that month, and I never renewed it then. Nevertheless, I renewed it again a couple of weeks back, and I must say, a lot of the comments and suggestions have come in really useful. Its been two weeks and I have had a couple of wonderful encounters and really in a fix right now, who to see again, lol and have been making quite a few promising connections as well. It seems, I actually like the game of it too.
But yes as it has been mentioned here, if anyone is not willing to devote a certain amount of time to identify his potential matches and continue a conversation, SA might not be the right place.
Just my two cents.

 

[EagerBeaver]

deadhead,

You are dead on target with your post. It's a big time commitment, and my married friends who are on SA and have less free time complain that they just do not have the time to invest to get the returns needed on the investment. It could be that you send 20 messages that gets you 1 or 2 dates and you have to mentally work through that statistical likelihood, and accept that instant gratification is not going to happen. It was an adjustment for me in the beginning as a guy who had always seen escorts and gotten used to the "instant gratification" that goes with calling an escort agency. Once I made the adjustment, invested time into the game, and improved my SA shtick, I actually started to like the gaming aspect of it and my results improved. I also think SA forces you to sharpen your social skills. If you do not, you will suck at it and not succeed. Social and communication skills are very, very important on SA and it is crucial that you project to any woman that you are experienced, gentlemanly and not clingy or needy or creepy. You have to be above all else patient. How you communicate will determine whether she thinks you are a horndog in heat or a cool customer who isn't going to show up with a visible erection bursting through the zipper on his pants.

 

[oobe]

going to show up with a visible erection bursting through the zipper on his pants.

Never seemed to bother my dates, they actually would've been disappointed with the opposite!

 

[hungry101]

My name is B and I am a mother of one and engaged. My fiancé and I are struggling really hard right now. I’m looking for a platonic relationship. We need help with bills etc. We’ve never been able to do anything like vacations, or get new clothing for not only us but our boy.

WTF? I see a lot of this. Which one of you guys wants to help them?

 

[Fradi]

^^^^

This is why I see escorts, none of this BS.
WTF, you are supposed to pay for a vacation for her, her kid and her fiancé, what about her grandparents do they need moterized wheelchairs perhaps.

 

[EagerBeaver]

There isn’t a lot of that on SA, it’s like .001% of what I have read. You hit “next”, which is pretty easy to do. Crazy easy actually. The board has scammers and they are pretty easy to spot, and they are usually the ones favoriting you unsolicited. The ones who favorite are the ones looking for attention usually.

There are the same percentage of scammers in the escort world, who show up, ask for money up front and then leave with the money. I have read more of those scams on MERB than I have heard or seen this type of scam on SA. You guys are truly kidding yourselves if you assume that you are somehow superior in your protection from scams. Scam protection anywhere and on any board comes down to how smart and savvy you as an individual are in keeping your bullshit radar well tuned.

 

[deadhead]

I completely agree with EagerBeaver on the above point. I've also not seen much like this, and among some other types, like escorts, or who are only interested about the money and nothing else, it's usually easy to spot from their very first line of conversation as they will straight say a $ amount and a certain 1 or 2 hrs of fun. Usually, I don't even respond to them. And also, as suggested by this thread, the other approach I take is, after we had agreed upon a mutual agreement about expectations in the arrangement and the $$, I always stress to have a social get to know meet for a coffee or drink maybe just to talk in person and see if we click. Usually the ones who are only after the money and don't really care about the mutual connection thing, will try to talk me out of that, but I don't divulge. And I believe it makes sense for both parties; I can see the person and see if we click mutually, and also she can be a bit acquainted with me, see if she likes me or not and feel more comfortable around me before the arrangement is finalized. And there is no $ involved in such a meet; of course I offer to sponsor the date. And if one can hold a nice, funny, decent conversation, the rewards are pretty nice. I can say from one of my own nice experiences.
I had such a get to know meet last evening, and it turned out to be much more fun than I had anticipated it to be. Met up with this 21 year old hot Moroccan girl to have drinks yesterday evening; took her to Le 4 Mur on St. Denis. She was really surprised by the idea that the entrance to the bar was hidden and she had to figure out the clue to get in; had not seen anything like it. Anyway, it was a nice conversation, and after that too, we had a long walk and she wanted to have another drink but this time she insisted that she will pay for it. The gesture also gave me a sign that she was having a nice time and it was not just $ for her, but also the sense of adventure and meeting new people. Anyway, we come back to downtown near my place in Crescent, have more drinks and I invited her to my place to sober up afterwards and she accepted and we spent some more time at my place, chatting, playing chess (she was pretty good actually), and making out a bit, hey hey. I didn't want to impose anything further since, by that time, it was clear that we were both comfortable around each other and I would surely see her again.
I'm not saying this is common in first get to know meets. But if you put some time in having a nice conversation, finding an out of the ordinary place to meet, things can go a long way.
Just my experiences...Thought to give back to the thread also.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Deadhead,

I use the exact same approach as you as far as “screening dates.” Scammers never get to that point. They are so easy to filter. Although the filtering part on SA does take some time because sometimes you start exchanging messages and it’s clear the girl is opportunistic or (in many cases) too cautious. I take it from the posts above that those posters have no confidence in their own ability to recognize scammers. If you just don’t have that confidence, then it’s probably advisable not to register on SA.

 

[oobe]

Le 4 Mur on St. Denis. She was really surprised by the idea that the entrance to the bar was hidden

If you're staying on Crescent, you may know the Cloakroom on de la Montagne, similar concept and nice place for a first date

 

[testingsite]

Looking at some positive feedbacks in this thread, I decided to give SA a shot. Been there for about 3 weeks.

I wanted to resolve 2 things through SA. First, I always found that with agency, we can not see the SP's Face when we book, which at least 50% of times lead to disappointment. I thought going to SA route should solve this issue since most girls willing to share face pics before we meet. Second, I wanted to find a longer term arrangement which involves intimate time and no dinner date/activities/travel/etc.

So, during these 3 weeks chatted with about 40 girls. Atleast half of them stopped replying/did not login again to the site and so there was no progress in the conversation. Atleast 5 escorts reached out and asked for price between $300-$500 per meeting but did not met any of them. Atleast 4 times I have been stood up- the girl basically told me in the morning that she is going to meet me in the evening/night but it did not happen. Some of them did not even bother to inform me earlier-they just stopped replying which pissed me off.

I found in SA most girls reply better if you go to the point directly instead of asking them to meet for coffee and then discuss. Also, some of the coffee date did not went as expected. Most girls in SA are looking for social time only with price tag of about $200 on average. Only some girls are willing to be intimate and if you want to include intimate time then price goes to $400-$500 which I found a lot higher than most reputable agencies here. Also, there is always a question what kind of service you could expect from a normal girl even after paying $400-$500 for the date. I saw there is a comment in this thread that lots of girls signed up in SA in Montreal every week which I found not true(I might be using different search criteria though in SA than the other reviewers here. I was looking for spinners there and age not more than 25). Have another evening date tonight (after going through her interview- which ranged from what i do to whether I have STDs etc. questions). Will see how it goes.

Overall, I think SA was a big waste of my time and it is probably not for me. I think it is most suited for those people who also wants social time than only intimate time. Since I have limited budget, I felt I do not want to spend money for social time. I also now have more appreciation for all reputable Montreal agencies bookers who somehow make sure that the girls meet the clients according to schedule and see any kind of clients regardless of age, ethnicity etc.

 

[curly]

@testingsite, i believe you're right that if you're looking only for intimate time, an escort is probably better. After being with two sugar babies for a few years, i concur that they are also looking for social time. Most of these girls are civilian, aside from the few escorts or hardcore golgdiggers. These civilian girls have the dream of the rich sugar daddy who will spoil them and allow them to access a luxury lifestyle they can't afford. Expensive restaurants, designer brands, travels, ans will reciprocate with affection.

It's a hard search finding the one for you, totally worth it when you do. But i agree with you, the auditions you run for tge "sugar baby" role in your life can be frustrating and long. However, don't let them run the show: you're the one with the money. They have what you want but don't forget you have what they want! It's a negotiation.

However, when you do find the right one, it can be a quite pleasant relationship. True girlfriend-like experience without the drama. With my last one, when we were exclusive, and after due testing, we were even bareback. She was stunning, affectuous and caring! How better can life be!

 

[deadhead]

If you're staying on Crescent, you may know the Cloakroom on de la Montagne, similar concept and nice place for a first date

Oh, thanks. Good to know.