Long term arrangements

[sambuca]

SA, however, straddles and blurs the line between the two. It's elastic, as in it can veer towards one end or the other, depending on your arrangement with each individual SB. Some ppl prefer this, as it offers flexibility. Others find it too complicated and time consuming. Both views have its points. I lean towards the latter.

Yes, my well-off buddy said SA was too much like dating.

I would encourage everyone who wants to discuss this topic to go to the SA thread somethingelse posted in comment #2. Before you initiate a thread, you should do a search. SA has been discussed in great detail with some members offering their experiences.

 

[Cubbie]

This is the classic "different strokes for different folks".

Having said that, IMO, SPs and real life dating are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. You choose either pricey convenience or time consuming but free (at least to start). The 2 endeavors are completely different and can never be confused with one another. This makes my life simpler, and it's greatly appreciated.

SA, however, straddles and blurs the line between the two. It's elastic, as in it can veer towards one end or the other, depending on your arrangement with each individual SB. Some ppl prefer this, as it offers flexibility. Others find it too complicated and time consuming. Both views have its points. I lean towards the latter.

It comes down to what you are looking for. Just Sex? Romance? A bit of both?

If it's just sex, then surely SP is the simplest way to go. There's something to be said about keeping life as simple as possible (for those who say it's cheaper to find those rare SBs who charge less but are just as good; well, power to you. For me, all the time that's needed to search & find those gems, plus the disclosure of personal info are just not worth it.

If it's for romance, then SPs are definitely the wrong place to look. On SA, unlike in real life, you are still only meeting girls who've been "pre-screened" to have indicated that they're willing to trade sex for money, at least in some capacity. Their #1 motive is still money, which isn't the best foundation for love, wouldn't you agree? Also, you are only seeing one segment of the dating pool, because not every eligible female will be on SA. You are missing out on all the others.

The 3rd option is the most intriguing. This is for guys who want it all. They want to play all the fields. Probably see SPs, as well as SBs, maybe dating in real life too. If you are one of them, god bless you. You clearly are operating on a higher plane than me. I can barely manage to keep one lady happy at any one moment.

As I mentioned before, I greatly appreciate the simplicity of SPs. Life is complicated as it is. They provide a welcome break now and then. When I look at SA, my number one reaction is always "careful what you wish for".​

​

 

[Cubbie]

Thanks for the heads up sambuca. I just reposted it in the other thread.

 

[sambuca]

There are even girls on there who are treating is an honest to goodness dating website.

Yes, I have seen that. It seems like a bad idea to confuse romance with "arrangement". Now does that mean a purely romantic, long-term relationship can't develop, of course it's possible and it probably happens from time to time.

 

[EagerBeaver]

It seems like a bad idea to confuse romance with "arrangement". Now does that mean a purely romantic, long-term relationship can't develop, of course it's possible and it probably happens from time to time.

I don’t know how much of this is real and how much of this is mental gymnastics to provide distinction between SB and escort in the SB’s mind. The mental gymnastics of justification can be extreme and they don’t need to make any sense in your mind, only the SB’s. Don’t accept anything you read at face value.

I met a SB in Montreal one time around 4 years ago. Beautiful girl- around 20 years old, mixed French Canadian and Bajan. She made it clear to me that sex was not available on the first date, but it might be on the second date, if she liked me and I had good manners. The reasoning was that “I am not an escort.” Thus by ruling out sex on a first date, she carefully delineated and distinguished herself as a SB and not an escort.

It doesn’t need to make sense to you Sambuca, and I respectfully submit that if you try to apply your own sense of logic to SB statements in their profiles, you are wasting your energy. I quickly learned the language of Seeking and the logic of Seeking is different. I try and read it and interpret it as an archeologist would hieroglyphics. I don’t look for sense and meaning but only the bottom line.

I did have sex with that lady on the second date. Once a second date happened, then it was destined. She was what I would call a PFP screener- never has sex on a first date but will on the second provided that you pass her tests, whatever they are, but usually that you aren’t creepy and don’t look like Jabba The Hutt’s younger brother. That particular lady was very big on manners and politeness. I remember that. Impolite dates wouldn’t have had a second date with her.

There are many PFP screener types on Seeking, but as noted above, there is everything on that website. There is something on there to satisfy almost every person if they have the time and energy to look for it.

 

[ShyMan]

Pizza has always been my favourite, absolutely delicious.

Hey, I like my pizza with extra toppings and delivered now and then. :hungry:

Seeking is not for everyone, but everyone can take up Hobbying especially in Montreal.

It amazes me how guys refuse to allow screening when seeing an escort, even a well reviewed one, and often won’t do outcall to their house, but will allow a Sugar Baby unlimited access to their lives.

Well said. I resemble that remark. :Cry:

 

[sambuca]

Eager, you're absolutely right. Take my comment as just a stand alone comment regarding romance and arrangements.

The SA site is an amazing social experiment. I'm sure academic researchers are looking at the social psychology of the male and female SA participants.

One woman can say she wants to find a meaningful, long-term relationship with a nice guy and is not interested in money. The next woman might say she wants an allowance, shopping trips and vacations. Some of this is certainly "mental gymnastics", but I wonder if the former is really a sales pitch setting up the allusion for the man. The latter brazenly non-pitch is clearly don't waste my time if you can't deliver this.

 

[EagerBeaver]

I think that in many instances of the former it is a sales pitch. Crafty SBs understand that guys want a romantic fantasy and that reading the profile is a first step in indulging that fantasy.

I don’t get caught up in the mental gymnastics and never take anything said in those profiles at face value. I try to figure out what the most economical and strategic way is to get from point A to point B, point B being the sexual endgame. It varies from SB to SB. But the ones who put up the stuff about romance and dating are women of the 50 Shades of Grey generation. It’s their way of identifying with the female character in that movie. I highly recommend the first 50 Shades movie as a film that captures the essentials of the same type of negotiation that goes on on SA. Women who have seen that film use these kinds of statements as a sort of disclaimer along the lines of “you can have sex with me, but in achieving that conquest you damn fucking sure better make me feel romanced and make it feel natural, otherwise, fuck you and move on.” That’s how I read 90% of those romance profiles.

It’s understanding their language. You have to study it and understand what you need to do.

 

[AdeleBeaumont]

You are desperate if you beg people to choose you. I have seen that a lot, my good friend has an account and I have seen many women begging for money.

There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and being direct.

 

[doom6969]

Personnellement j'ai eu a quelques reprise des filles sur long terme et très jolie dans le début vingtaine, a toute les fois ça été 100 pour passer environ 45 min à 1 heure ,je sais pas pour vous mais 100 pour une heure il me semble que c'est très bien et convenable un de vous fait ca 100 de lheure ? .. c'est des filles indépendante souvent au études qui préfère 2 3 gars comme ca plutôt que travailler chez tim horton au salaire minimum,et ce concentrer plus sur leurs études ou simplement pour arrondir les fin de mois. Je parlais très bien et les filles aimais le moment avec une ça durer 2 ans .joindre l'utile à l'agréable.

 

[oobe]

Why all U girls looking for "platonic"?

On the topic of whether profile descriptions are sincere, delusional, or just product placement, or a mix of... I'm looking in Mtl but regularly see profiles of college girls from Vermont or NY State, and pretty much all list "platonic" in their criteria.

What's your analysis/experience? Are they really naive 19 olds thinking someone will pay just for conversation? Is it plausible deniability if their parents or friends (or LE) find their profile? Or is it simply to feel better about it but doesn't mean anything?

Some of them can be cute but I wouldn't drive to Burlington just for coffee

 

[CLOUD 500]

What's your analysis/experience? Are they really naive 19 olds thinking someone will pay just for conversation?

The girls want easy money. Minimal effort and believe it or not there are men who pay just for companionship or conversation. These girls usually go into this because they want money without having sex otherwise they would just work as escorts. That is my take on it.

 

[deadhead]

Was thinking of renewing my SA membership, but it seems they don't have an IOS app anymore. Is that true or am I missing something?

 

[EagerBeaver]

It does seem like they discontinued the app, but I always thought SA was more easily navigable on Safari, and that the app sucked monkey balls. Maybe that was why it was discontinued. Another problem with the app was when you got a message it sent a prominent message on your screen. None of these things are good or discreet and you don’t want that app icon on your phone necessarily. To me it didn’t add much in user friendliness over navigating the site in Safari and maybe the public agreed.

 

[jalimon]

its the 30% cut to apple that is responsible for decision likw this.

 

[deadhead]

Completely agree.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Deadhead,

I agree with Jalimon. I just checked and the app is still available on Android.

 

[deadhead]

Thanks guys.
BTW, is sex on the first date a thing with SA people? Was chatting with a girl who seemed to be in that; almost brought up the topic herself. but I was being a bit sceptic. Anyone here had such experiences?

 

[jalimon]

Thanks guys.
BTW, is sex on the first date a thing with SA people? Was chatting with a girl who seemed to be in that; almost brought up the topic herself. but I was being a bit sceptic. Anyone here had such experiences?

The short time I was on it I had 2 meeting with sex but without $$ either. Simply told them i do not pay for social but would meet them if that made them feel good.

Had 3 other with sex on the first date. One that I met at a coffee shot nearby and told her if she was comfortable we would move on to my place. We did not even order coffee

Cheers,

 

[deadhead]

Thanks jalimon. Without $$, that's rare; or your charm, I'm sure . I get what you are saying. If the topic is brought up while chatting, it can be a possibility.