Long term arrangements

[starry]

Well, if Patron's point is simply that arrangements are not for everyone, that there are some vulnerable people who will be taken to the cleaners by golddiggers, how could anyone disagree with that. But it tells us less about the merits and demerits of the activity than simply being an acknowledgement that some folks are just not properly in control of themselves. Some people smoke too much, some people drink too much, some people pay their girls more than they can afford, some people blow their brains out in the casino as aften as they can gather a few sheckles together etc...So what. All that does is point out that some people behave imprudently, which is self-evident and something that all of us already know anyway. So the point really possesses little demonstrative content. Trying to dignify it with the mantra of social conscience doesn't really add much to the argument.
The other criticism is the alleged fundamental insincerity of the emotional interaction. That of course is preposterous as a sine qua non. To acknowledge that what we would consider a deep and sincere relationship occurs only in a minority of cases is not to say that such situations do not occur. Note that Rumple readily acknowledged having had two dry runs before entering into his current arrangement. What the reactions to his narrative belie is a fundamental attachment to parochial attitudes, which is needless to say glaringly ironic given that the "sporting" activities of the posters, their accolytes and camp followers, are aptly considered to be outside the mainstream of societal convention. Y'all should consider the sources of your knee jerk reactions. You might benefit from this inquiry.
I certainly understand Rumple's frustration in attempting to explain his relationship to people who are fatally and probably irretrievably narrow minded. To say to him "well hey, this is just basic pay for play, but if it works for you etc..." is not only missing the point but again highlights an inability to think outside the box that limits your understanding. The point is that he has achieved a gratifying and loving relationship with his lady despite the naysayers. There are plenty of members out there reading this thread who know, some of them from personal experience, that what he is living is real. There are quite simply more things between heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your philosophy.
Methinks I see the ghost of Maurice Duplessis condemned to walk for a certain time the earth of Cloudcuckooland. So many fearful jesuits out there lol.

 

[starry]

I think his point, or one of them, still eludes you. You continue to think of his arrangement as basic pay for play (he would deny that it is so very "upscale" and I think I would agree with him). The more important point that he is making is that his relationship with the lady has progressed beyond simple pay for play and provides the "benefit" of mutually felt affective interaction, the possibility of which certain posters (you maybe?) are apparently unable to accept. He feels, and again I agree with him, that this can represent a very significant upgrade to the more usual hobbying experience and is probably different in kind when successful. I don't have a wide circle of hobbying acquaintances but even within that very limited sample size I know of a couple of very successful and genuine affective relationships that have developed between SPs and their clients. Reality is complex and people who love one another meet in all kinds of different ways, some of them improbable. Those who categorically deny something so self evident are clearly themselves suffering under some sort of fantasy, delusion or, more likely, are captive to parochial attitudes.
Again if all that you are saying is that it is not for everyone, well neither is hobbying for that matter ( and lots of other things).

 

[Doc Holliday]

Bottom line, I still think escorting and seeking arrangements are two completely different things.

First, welcome back. It's good to see CoolAmadeus posting again. Most people on this board today have no clue what a prominent and well-respected member you were in the early years. And one of the most die-hard hobbyists i ever met, i must add. :thumb:

And lastly, i agree with your post that escorting and seeking arrangements are different. Totally different? I'm not so sure. I'd like to point out that they are very similar in the fact that both are a form of prostitution. The job description of each may differ from one another, but it's still an exchange of money for 'companionship'. Nothing wrong with this, i'm simply pointing it out and i'm quite envious of people who can afford such arrangements and even better if they have an arrangement where there's good chemistry & understanding between the two individuals.

 

[starry]

You'll never get through to them. The more you use money to try to buy wtv, the more faith you have in it. And that includes buying emotions. Thing they don't seem to get is while an sp/sugar/wtv can find you tolerable and find time with you enjoyable, it doesn't mean she thinks of you in any capacity beyond your wallet. It's not really rocket science, but given the number one trait of sugar daddies (or any client) is to "really think they are cared about", it should be no surprisre. More money is more attention. Believing anything else is just wishful thinking. But wtv. People gonna do what they think is best for them anyway. A human beings best friend is their own delusion.

Rumple's point is that his current relationship is about more than just dollars and cents, something that you and some others are incapable of understanding.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Case in point Sam. Lol. Don't waste your time on them. Let them keep believing what they want. It's like trying to convincd a devout Catholic there are multiple Gods. Lololol

You seem to be on both sides of the fence, your comment #139 agree the other way, unless I am reading it wrong.

 

[Maria Divina]

Hi Rumples, long time no see and I know why now ;-) Happy that you are happy too!

But on one point...

Um, er, well, you see...I happen to know of two people posting in this thread who could tell you that you can be taken to the cleaners by escorts.

Can we all agree that we can take off the "s" to the word "escorts" you mentioned in this particular case...I think both people you are referring to have dealt with the same, let's say "non scrupulous personage"? If I am not mistaken.
Please, correct me if I am wrong. ;-)

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

As a wiser man than me once said, “opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. For an opinion to have any value, however, it must have some basis..

An opinion is what a person thinks for themself in that situation. ( in my case anyway ), a person does not need to be married to think it is not good for them.
Anyways, as long as you are enjoying yourself and you have both feet on the ground enjoy.

 

[cloudsurf]

This is one hell of a funny thread.
No one is going to win this debate....relationships are not white or black, but different shades of grey.
I`ve experienced most types of M/F relationships.....g/f, wife . escort, one night stand, S/B.
All I`ve learnt is that each relationship is different yet a common thread runs through them.
A wife asking for a weekly allowance, to a g/f expecting you to pay for everything, to a S/B agreeing to spend one day a week with you for monetary or similar gifts . or an escort that spend 2 hours at a set fee.
The only difference is the physical and emotional chemistry that goes with this verbal contract. Each one is unique and different in so many ways.

 

[Julia Sky]

relationships are not white or black, but different shades of grey.

Approximately 50 shades.

sorry had to do it Im out bye

 

[minutemenX]

As was stated in several posts above money has relative value. So if some rich or not so rich folks are paying for an additional companionship or girlfriend illusion it is their choice. But I classify any such relations still as play-for-pay and they are all the same to me irrespective of time: hour, days or months. She even can have honest affection for you as money and security you can provide are great aphrodisiacs. I am sure many women find Warren Buffet or Putin very sexy and attractive, but strip them from money and power and they are nothing to them. Paying not always means monetary transaction. If some girl fells for your good looks and libido but dumps you after your body and face are disfigured in a car accident she was also with you in a kind of pay-for-play arrangement. The only test for real relationship is commitment to each other in difficult times and no pay-for-play arrangements provide this.

 

[Doc Holliday]

You think Melania married the Donald for his looks, wit and charm? What does that make her?:bounce:

You forgot brains. Not only did she marry him because he was so irresistible, but he's witty, charming and extremely intelligent.

Who knows, maybe it was one of those arranged marriages. I've always wondered how they actually met.

Wasn't she a high-end NYC callgirl at around the time he met her?

 

[CaptRenault]

...If I am to seek a relationship I want it to be one no based on money. I want it to be a genuine relationship.

Here's what Chris Rock has to say about "genuine relationships"..."not based on money."

And here's Eddie Murphy on the same topic. :lol:

"No Romance without finance."

 

[Lance(2)]

Gents, with all respect to some very thoughtful posts and replies we may all be guilty of assuming that each of our own approaches to adding an element of a social relationship to paid companionship is superior to someone else's approach. The truth is that many of us seek some amount of a social relationship through the avenue of paid companionship and that we will approach the challenge differently.

I have no shame in saying that I seek and value the long term social relationships that I develop with paid companions. I don't confuse these relationships with "true love" but I have found that I have been able to maintain rich and mutually rewarding relationships with paid SP's. My own approach is to start with dinner dates and then if there is a good connection, to add extended travel to the mix. My own experience is that unless there are certain shared appreciations for experiences and an honest social connection that travel is unsatisfying or troublesome for both parties.

I have and am currently enjoying continuing connections with SP's who I met as many as 8 years ago. Many have long since officially "retired" and have moved on to other fulfilling lives, but still appreciate the extra cash and travel/adventure opportunities that sharing time with me offers. Many have a significant life partner who is ignorant of the true story but who can't provide some of the benefits that I provide.

I don't try to make these arrangements more than they are and my long-term "friends" don't have unrealistic expectations. As someone else commented, it is better for me to maintain 5 or more of these relationships as each SP's availability for dinners and travel varies, each have unique travel/sport interests and eventually even favourite friends move on.

So, my approach works for me and for my partners in crime. Despite what some skeptics have posted it is possible to enjoy a fun and satisfying social relationship with certain SP's and also enjoy great sex. This is a variation of a "long-term" relationship but stays with the P4P model rather than entering the SD model. Personally the SD model doesn't have much appeal. My friends are as available under a P4P model as I want or need. In this type of artificial relationship I don't see any benefit in trying to create a further level of commitment.

To each his own and I wish all of you every success.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Just out of curiosity, how many SB/SD relationships have you had to prove your theory?


Every one of them? 100% That's quite a blanket statement.


Oh really? You sound like a real estate developer who says he knows more than the generals.


Again my curiosity overwhelms me. When did she tell you this?

You make good arguments. My relations are irrelevant to this. The only relevant question you should ask yourself is if you were to cut the money supply to your SB will she still remain with you and provide you with sexual favors? That is the million dollar question. You seem like a smart guy and I think you know the answer to that one. Our friend Starry in the other hand is delusional seems to be seeking a genuine relationship from women he is paying for. You can sugar coat is as much as you want and it will seem and feel like the real thing but at the end the relationship is being bought. I know reality is thought but is is what it is. I do also agree with CloudSurf that every relationship is different but the money exchanged for sexual favors or companionship is universal in this scenario. Money got both you and her together.

 

[cloudsurf]

Rumples , does she have a friend ?
We could play bridge or hearts.

 

[CaptRenault]

...The only relevant question you should ask yourself is if you were to cut the money supply to your SB will she still remain with you and provide you with sexual favors? That is the million dollar question...Money got both you and her together.

But here is a question that I know you will not be able to answer. Why not cut the money supply to your so called sugar baby and see if she still sticks around with you and gives you BBBJs?

...She got your money and you got nothing. Did you even get to have sex with her? So I go back to my original statement. This is guys trying to rent a relationship...I just cannot imagine why anyone would want to live in this kind of fantasy. But it is your life. Do whatever you want...

If that is true take away the money and see if she still sticks around. Yes they do have feelings but certainly not for you. You are a tool to a means. Nothing more nothing less..

...Money brought the two of you together. The relationship is so superficial.

C500, you sound like a broken record. You keep making the same point over and over again. :blah:

However, neither Rumples nor CA ever said that they think their sugar babies would maintain a relationship with them if they stopped paying them.

I agree with Patron that the cost of an "arrangement" is too high compared to occasionally seeing escorts; so I don't think such a relationship is right for me. But I understand the appeal of such a relationship and if it works for others, then good for them. I appreciate that Rumples and CA were willing to frankly share their stories and details of their relationships.

But I don't feel compelled to remind people in such a relationship of the obvious point that if the money stopped flowing, then the relationship would probably stop too. C500, that is one huge DUH! We get it!

 

[Maria Divina]

Most other females she knows who have tried SA have had bad to frightening experiences. Apparently there are a lot of guys playing SA looking to get by on the cheap or to take advantage.

That's exactly what I heard too, that's where the "Splenda Daddy" expression comes from.

Ok I decided to make the plunge and to relate to my only one experience with a long term arrangement deal that have been proposed to me in the few first months in my beginning. You are going to be able to feel how terrifying that experience has been for me. I have still the feeling that I have been really close to be in terrible problems, but you know, all ladies are kinda innocent when they begin exchanging money for company, and after dealing with a lots of less or more "abusive" people that want to take advantage of this debutant innocence, that's when you become a good BS detector. And much more adviced...

I was in the first agency, and he received a demand to have a girl not too much young, wanting someone more mature, funny and being able to be social and having correct behaviours to accompany someone who was with a bunch of his friends with their wives at a ski ressort for an overnight. I receive the call of the agency owner during the afternoon just before I was preparing to come in Montreal to "make my shift" and he asked me if I can ski and if I was interested to go there for an overnight, that he knew the guy, there was no problem even if he was a bit "macho", I didn't have nothing to be scared about him, that was the client who will bring me back to Montreal the day after. I said, "ok, if you know him and it's ok, why not? That sounds interesting " So that evening, my agency owner drove me personally to the ski ressort, and present me the guy in question. That was a little ruff man in his manners of talking, let's say the kind that have nothing before and make lots of money and feeling to be very important. He was dressed the color of his opinions, jeans, boots, t-shirt.. and me that take precaution to dress myself more cutely, well I fell to be overdressed. So this guy bring me to his room, pay me my 2000$ for the overnight without any problem... And the rest of the evening was a mix of a supper with his friends and wives, dancing at the bar of the ressort, and go in private after. Morning after, breakfast with all the gang, skiing and he reconducted myself to my car, he stated that I was exactly what he was looking for, that "it doesn't need a university's diploma" to recognize that I was a good lady, and he asked me, to the go, "how much does it take in a month to make you happy?" I wasn't aware at all of those kind of agreement. And I was really surprised that someone offer me that. He wanted a "maîtresse intelligente" and "clean" (He tried to push with insistance that I accept to take cocaine the night before -he was asking with insistance without having some in his possession-, and I refused categoratelly it, I had to get kinda mad that he stop bogging me with that, and when he saw how much I did not want it, that's when he "flash" on me, he told me he was testing me and he wouldn't never accepted to have a coke head near him, go figure)

So to return to his proposition, I did not know what to answer, but he was making promises that he was about to have good amount of money release soon, and I will be really spoiled by him. He talked about buying car, motorcycle, paying all my expenses, go make some trips, pay me breast surgery if I wanted... I was having a hard time to believe all that, I never had never in life things so free, that looks suspicious. And I was right.
Soon after, he came back to my private home (and yes, I moved from this place as soon possible after....) and he brings me to a very nice restaurant, we make spa and have rent a beautiful immense room and spend time there (and he did not give me cash, only promises still....) Another time, few days later, he said "je t'amène faire une belle sortie et je vais te gâter" ... He brings me to the "marché aux puces" and he bought me a cloths of one the moto he wanted to eventually buy me... Like to maintain the "dream alive". But I was still finding all those things bizarre... And finally not long time after, he decided to offer me to work for him in one of his stores, and I could be able to study at the same time... and he wanted also to have my personal informations including my NAS, to see and improve my "bacon number" (as he stated himself) and after, for me to be able to become a "owner of a house of pot" and then, I will do many thousands by month this way. So my little wannabe SugarDaddy was in fact looking for a real innocent person to give her name to help him to have really much more money with his cannabis plans...

Do you know how it finished? I did not know how to deal and to stay now away, he was knowing where I was living. He calls me and said: " Hello!!! I have a very nice surprised for you today!!! I answered and was thinking in my mind at last could be the time! and told him: " Oh yes??" He answered: " Oh yesssss!! I just bought for my birthday a very nice car, and if you are very nice, I will let you conduct it" Nothing less to say that I was very occupied that day, and I did not ever never answer anymore to his following calls. And he finished to stop to call. Never heard of him after that.

When I tell this story to people, some told me that I have been really near to be implicated and taken in illegal activities that could have been bring me far more in troubles... I know this guy to have been really near of criminal organizations and generally speaking, ladies don't have the "good role" if you know what I mean. So I just escaped to a big nightmare probably.

That's when I decided that was really much better to stay all autonome and stay an escort, master of my time and my life. I become totally indy few months later while working for another agency. And still is presently.
I repeat, that was another step to become even more autonome and master of my life. So now, you are having the reason of my ambivalence toward that kind of long-term agreement that suddenly, in one day, could stop unexpectivelly.

Big lesson learned in this "field": Stay away quickly of any eventual problem. Someone advised told me to "never ever trust 100% someone in this field" I must add: " and much more when they promise you somethings" ;-) You just can't know how much propositions escorts are receiving when they are new in the business, a lots of unknown people want to "help us" That's maybe not at the same level, but always, the ones that are proposing are always there to catch all the free stuff they can get in exchange of their "help"... Ladies, don't let those bluff you. Keep in mind your goals, and everything will be then more sane & equilibrated in your life. ;-)

 

[applebaum]

Maria: It's very good that you escaped from that situation. You were right to suspicious.

 

[Dr. Richard Kimball]

In a world where the vast majority of guys prefer to be a ship passing at night it is suspicious that anyone would want a long term commitment.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

In a world where the vast majority of guys prefer to be a ship passing at night it is suspicious that anyone would want a long term commitment.

One of my worries ( for either party ) would be that there is too much knowledge about each other, knowing where you live, your habits, your friends. For a money relationship far too much info.
As Maria posted above, too many scammers out there, everywhere. For spending 30K you can see an escort every 2.5 days for the entire year.