I always have tipped and why, because some female less than half my age is having sex with me. This may change though with the increased YMMV with escorts.
Money change before or after the service
- Thread starter Obvio-0bvio
- Start date
OK, so not really an ethics thing, but a social practice. thanks.
Where did you ever get that impression? I actually wasn't really asking what the ladies thought, although I welcome the input. I stated in my OP what I expected the answer from them to be, and that's exactly what I got. I was pretty much asking the guys where their conventions came from and what their practices are a gauge in the difference of monger culture. Rebaynia had mentioned that part of her "upbringing" within the profession was to collect up front, period. I'm going to go on a limb and say that she probably has been based in NA for the whole time. She can correct me if I'm wrong.
As for me, most of what has been instilled into me has come from my experience internationally, and it's a different kettle of fish. I'm going to say this without any intention to offend, and the people here shouldn't take it that way, because I'm talking about a different location and cultural space, but what was instilled into me in my time within the hobby is that you never, ever pay first, and that the guys who do are either newbies or gullible fools. I will state once again that I am specifically not referring to the Montreal mongering crowd. What was instilled into me has stayed with me though, and my practice is continue as I have always done elsewhere. It has never been an impediment to my getting service.
I asked KingRonSanders what he thought because he introduced the question of ethics into the discussion, something I've never heard brought up in this context before, and I was interested in the reply (Thanks Ron). I'm also interested in why there's such a wide disparity in practices here and elsewhere, and to gain some new perspective. So, hopefully that explains things a bit to you, and others, about why I'm asking.
“the people here shouldn't take it that way, because I'm talking about a different location and cultural space” - Exactly. So if you prefer those practices, practice them over there.
Also where is “elsewhere”? Because the only way this is relevant would be if you were talking about a remotely comparable place such as the USA which is impossible because they’re insanely stricter there. So by elsewhere with such practices, one can assume we’re talking about typical cheap sex countries, but hey, what do I know.
I do prefer those practices, and those places, and I do practice them there whenever I get the opportunity. However, I live here at the moment and I'm trying to come to some mental accommodations about the expectations of people here. I'm not attacking anyone here or asking anyone to change anything they're doing, so I'm not sure why you feel the need to show me so much hostility. I'm just asking questions. As for where, I mean all through the NA continent and all over the world. Also, if you think all foreign countries are cheap sex destinations you are sorely mistaken. There are a number that cost more than here and still have the practices I described. I will say that in Vancouver it's a bit of a no man's land because you get customs of both, but it's quite different than Montreal.
It just looks like to avoid haveing a girl make her way to you and walk away, because of how you have your rules set. When planning the booking, it will likely be benificial for both of you, not to loose time or gas, by bringing it up before it is waisted on showing up to the meeting. To be sure she is on board with your rules. It also gives her a chance to accept, or refuse servicing you, if she isn't comfortable with your way of doing things. Everyone is entitled to do things the way they want, and are comfortable. You included.
Yours and my original comments in the other thread got axed and then this one was merged, so we may have lost something in translation, but if you remember in the original comments I had talked about getting the lowdown on all the girls rules beforehand, and having to respect those if I was going to book with her. I am likewise clear about mine. I never, ever, have a session anywhere or with anyone unless all of that is done beforehand (with MPs being somewhat of an exception, which also has to do somewhat with why I only do reviews on MPs and not indy SPs). It's one of things that people on both sides if the fence learn quickly.
Its no secret that a lot of escorts love (and sometimes count) on clients being "generous". Its a reality that some guy legitly take pleasure into gifting, high tipping and such and the SPs often share their etransfer gifts or items on their twitter. Some guys get a kick out of it, make them feel important. And of course it always depend on these guys personal financial situation.
So will she prefer a client that "overpay" or a client that pay the asked rate? Likely overpay sure. But that does mean the client that simply pay the rate is a bad client either...
The problem with tipping as i mentioned above is its starting to be "expected" too much, and not just in the sexwork industry. Personally i like to know what i am gonna pay in total and not be "judged" for money i may or may not add. What is a "normal service provided" vs an "outstanding service". At the rates some SP charged (500-600 or even 800$ sometimes) shouldn't i be expecting an outstanding service from the get go? If im litterally giving a full week of paid work for 1h ... yes i do.
And to circle around with what i said about knowing what im gonna pay ... I wish every store would be forced to put the prices with taxes. I really don't get why its always "+taxes" , i hate this idea of having to mentally calculate how im actually gonna pay.
see, I 100% understand and respect your take on tipping and are absolutely right that paying the exact amount doesn’t make anyone a bad client. That’s why I said I never judge anyone based on the act of tipping. You’re also super right that we love generous clients, of course we do. I’m sure anyone appreciates generosity. But that’s not the point.
Yes we prioritize higher spenders but it’s not out of greed, at least not to me. You have to remember that yes, we do make a very high income, but in this line of work, money comes and goes. You can be doing great and overnight land on a dry spell for you never know how long. So we hoard money. Yes we do. But not out of greed. Out of precaution.
(don’t get me wrong we love shiny things also, but I’m pretty sure you get my drift)
Obviously. There is an old saying wich is more money you got more money you want. Its normal. In 2023 escorts lifestyle is not exactly secret. Tons of escorts link their OF to real life instagrams etc. The reality is... Easy money look good and everyone want it. Not gonna blame anyone .
Too often tough (imo) clients are seen as DUMBASSES... wales... And these women exploit them. Some feminist would even go as far as saying "justified returns of situations" and.... Yeah i do get their points. Its a "fight back" against patriarchy.
I never been someone who exploited women so i don't wanna be exploit. I prefer to keep far from this feud personally.
Tipping is pushed to ridiculous levels here. The moreso because the mechanisms used to push it aren't necessarily service but shame and guilt. People are tired of it, and tired of being asked to tip for absolutely everything. Not only are they being pushed to tip, but they're being pushed to tip at levels that go beyond accepted practice and custom as a default. Who is going to pay a minimum of 18% tip to pick up their pizza or bagels at the counter? That's what's being prompted to me. The default psychological response is well, maybe you don't have to tip that much, but you should tip SOMETHING. Well, no, you either shouldn't or don't have to.. There are people and professions that should be tipped, but this blanket tipping culture is out of control, as is default tipping levels, excuse me "suggested tips". I won't say who should or should not be tipped, or how much, because frankly it's none of my business. What is clear, however, is that society as a whole is experiencing a severe case of tipping fatigue.
This, that kind of shit started with the pandemia, and I got caught with it until my brain started to make sense again. From that moment I am back to the old fashion way, no tip for any take out orders.
And also, now in restaurants when you pay in cash, instead of giving you your entire change back, they ask how much you want back! Hey! Give me my money and get the f**k off while I finish my wine and figure how much you deserve as a tip. I aint no cheapo at all but I totally despise those pushing tactics.
For meeting providers I always have the exact amount with me, I don’t tip systematically, there has to be something special for it.
I mostly tip a dollar value not percentage, do not think the server at Denny's should get less than the Keg for example, they both preform the same task even though one is triple in price.
My usual way of tipping is to have repeated bookings. If you pay more than the stated price it may look like you expect some special treatment or broadening of the rules. And if you don’t tip in the following meetings, it might look like you have been less satisfied. So, tip becomes kind of obligatory and I don’t like this. It does not mean that I have never tipped. I did and, in few cases, very generously. But this was when a girl had been clearly “in the mood” providing service above and beyond the advertised standard. Only for the service, never for the looks or age.
It is kind of dumb in my opinion not to go prepared with the exact amount you want to give her.
It is up to you to know what her rate is before you get there.
The other thing is in my opinion it is totally tacky to ask her for change, personally I would feel ridiculous and embarrassed to do that, besides I usually tip anyway and $50-60 extra if I somehow don’t have change is not going to put me in the poor house.
She is not a bank teller or a convenience store to be giving out change.
I tend to be spontaneous and rarely plan ahead when it comes to seeing a service provider. It's usually a last-minute decision, and I don't usually prepare in advance. Just a brief thought or encounter with a service provider can make me want to call them or watch adult content on TV, and then I find myself dialing an agency. I do tip well, but I prefer to do it on my own terms. Service providers handle cash all the time, so it's hard to believe they don't carry any with them. They often have more money than you and me combined. So, the idea that they don’t carry money or have change that excuse is overrated.
I would be embarrassed to ask them for change it just doesn’t feel right to me and an extra 20-50 is not going to make a difference to me if I don’t happen to have the exact amount.
Luckily I usually plan 1-2 weeks in advance so most times I have the exact amount in an envelope and I always carry a couple of hundred extra if I want to tip or my car breaks down for emergencies.
I am pretty old school I always carry some cash with me even though most times I don’t need it as I use mostly Apple Pay for almost everything except for SP..
It has been said, for obvious reasons, that it could be very risky for providers to give any hint of having any serious amount of cash with them or stashed at the incall places.
I agree totally!! It never even crossed my mind to ask a SP for change. I usually plan to see a lady at least 1-2 days in advance, so I make sure to have the right amount, plus some extra.
I have the typical denominations (20s and 50s), so it’s perfect for putting the right amount, plus some extra (for tipping, etc).
Anyway to each their own and we’re all allowed to do as we wish. Just wanted to point out my viewpoint, which is that it’s a given that I’ll have the exact amount before meeting a lady!
Cheers!
I dont really plan ahead but, seriously, how long does it take to stop at an ATM and, since most machines let you choose, what bills you prefer to withdraw?
I don't even understand how people have to think about this. SPs typically don't have change, and the reasons why they don't typically carry cash should be obvious to anybody. It's super easy to stop and pick up the right cash or get change. 5 minute detour at most even if you just do it on the way. The safety precautions that apply to SPs apply to clients too, and you shouldn't be carrying anything more than you intend to spend (including your maximum tip, if you plan to tip, and you should have increments between cost and max tip), leaving everything else of value somewhere else. There is absolutely no reason to carry anything more than what you need, and you shouldn't be depending on anyone else for you to manage your own spending habits. The only preplanning necessary if to have your bank card with you in your wallet to get the right bills out and to allocate a few extra minutes en route. How hard is this?
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