Normal dating & true love after years of hobbying

[ekzarh]

I’m giving myself permission to jump into this thread because it’s sounding like a personal experience that I had a few years ago.

As someone who dated a married guy in his 50’s while I was barely legal I will never do that error Again in my life. Don’t waste the young lady time unless you are clear with your intentions: just sex and no real love; purely transactional. Type of SB-SD relationship.
With time we get closer and feelings gets stronger. 90% of the time if you are not clear on the expectations and constantly reminding them it will end up really bad and you will end up loosing both her and your wife. As well as your children respect. (If she is crazy enough to show up at your house or stalk you online and blackmail you).

In my case I didn’t knew he was still married. When time was passing he said he was into a divorce process and separated. He promised me he was going to get a divorce and he met my family and everything was perfect. At first I didn’t want to put myself in between a mariage but since he was already divorcing why not ?
It was getting serious. But guess what?
He never really discussed about the divorce thing to his wife while we were 2 years into our relationship. I was fully committed to him but when I knew he was not able to divorce his wife for me I decided I wasn’t going to put my hopes into a married man who is wasting my time and youth. Things got more dirty after that! Multiple times I wanted to call his wife and tell her the garbage she had married but I will think of the hurt I will bring her and the hurt I will bring myself and just walk out of this situation.

He is still with his wife and unhappy marriage because of the financial burden and just too scared to end his life alone or try his love story with a younger lady. He is choosing safety and it’s probably wise especially at his age.


Advice to you : Unless you are already signing divorce papers or officially single please don’t put yourself into a New Romantic relationship.
Don’t trick the young lady into this mess! It will hurt her so deeply if she is really committed to you. If you know deep down it won’t last long and don’t want to put your marriage at risk let her know right now. If she decide to stay (which I don’t think she will) then go on but be careful. Lies always catches you! Good luck!

(I was unlucky lucky to experience a lot of hard situations at a young age and now I’m able to put high standards and boundaries when I’m trying to date someone)!

She knows I am married and I explained similar things to her and we decided to go and see where it takes, I did not make any promises.

 

[ekzarh]

As for seeing SP’s it’s different! You are paying for a service and even if feelings gets involved it would be easier to cut it off compared to a real « girl friend »!

I was ready to do crazy things to keep that man for myself but it was already a failed relationship from the beginning and I was blind or naive by « love » and hide the truth to my family. Because they would have never let me date a married man! We were talking about moving in together; visit my country and have our traditional wedding (that man gave me a ring); babies names etc!!!! Yeah it went that far so play safe with this situation.

I still develop feelings to someone I saw more than twice, I just know it will not get us anywhere..

 

[ekzarh]

As for seeing SP’s it’s different! You are paying for a service and even if feelings gets involved it would be easier to cut it off compared to a real « girl friend »!

I was ready to do crazy things to keep that man for myself but it was already a failed relationship from the beginning and I was blind or naive by « love » and hide the truth to my family. Because they would have never let me date a married man! We were talking about moving in together; visit my country and have our traditional wedding (that man gave me a ring); babies names etc!!!! Yeah it went that far so play safe with this situation.

We did talk about baby names, but not specific to us, she told me which one she likes ..

Question to you about your experience with this man - how quickly did your sex life progress and did you have that expectation from him to do it more than 2-3 times a day (as that it what you were used to with previous similar age partners)

Who was initiating intimacy?

 

[ekzarh]

Wake up, you’re not in a movie this is life get back to reality

I do not want to, lol

 

[rascar-capac]

Il semble que tu te préoccupes plus sur sa satisfaction sexuelle que n'importe quoi d'autres
3-4 fois par jours ça tient un temps ensuite la cadence diminue.
Ceci dit, tu as 1 langue, 2 mains, 10 doigts si tu sais bien tant servir tu peux satisfaire n'importe quelle femme avec ça (ou presque)
Même si c'est trop mou a ton goût who cares sauf toi.

 

[ekzarh]

Il semble que tu te préoccupes plus sur sa satisfaction sexuelle que n'importe quoi d'autres
3-4 fois par jours ça tient un temps ensuite la cadence diminue.
Ceci dit, tu as 1 langue, 2 mains, 10 doigts si tu sais bien tant servir tu peux satisfaire n'importe quelle femme avec ça (ou presque)
Même si c'est trop mou a ton goût who cares sauf toi.

Satisfying is not the problem, it’s exactly the thing with “cadence” that I didn’t experience for 20+ years. She initiates intimacy way more than I am used to and in end of the day I’m left feeling “used”, lol

Hence the “old & seasoned” remark and the fear of me loosing interest and her feeling it. If I am straightforward about this with her it will disappoint her …

And lastly - had I been a faithful husband and never discovered this forum I would have never had the thoughts of comparing her to other indy & agency ladies …

 

[hendrix0199]

So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here

Remember this, never let your wife or girlfriend get in the way of true love.

 

[AirBo]

She knows I am married and I explained similar things to her and we decided to go and see where it takes, I did not make any promises.

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.

I did not make any promises.

Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

 

[marky1234]

So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here

Does your new flame know that you fucked hundreds of girls younger than her before meeting her?

 

[ekzarh]

Does your new flame know that you fucked hundreds of girls younger than her before meeting her?

Do you think I should really mention that? Would you have?

P.S.
Not much younger and some were older ..

 

[ekzarh]

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.



Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

What you would have done?

I think my wife kind of suspects it, as I was asked why I look so happy when I am on my phone ..

 

[ekzarh]

Even with the best intentions, you're setting yourself up for trouble one way or another.



Pretty sure even you know this is a lame excuse.

I do.

 

[ekzarh]

That’s good that you didn’t lie about your situation and expectations.
Hopefully she doesn’t put her hopes too high and it doesn’t end badly ! Good luck

If does, I will be tempted to come and see you, lol

 

[AirBo]

What you would have done?

I think my wife kind of suspects it, as I was asked why I look so happy when I am on my phone ..

I can't help you. I'm not in your position.

But as you're saying, there are signs already that shit might hit the fan. I guess I would ask myself this question: What would I NOT want to happen? If your wife finds out, starts hating you for hiding this to her, and asks for a divorce, you, and your kids, might be in for a world of pain.

Sounds to me like you have some serious soul searching to do.

I think hiding seeing escorts is easier than hiding having an extra marital relationship that involves love and feelings.

 

[AirBo]

@ekzarh One last note: I've had a few relationships with women 20 years younger than me. It's insanely fun and rewarding in the beginning. You feel like the king of the world. I can see the exuberance in some of your posts, and you're not thinking clear. The age gap is a serious barrier to a long term relationship. You're just not at the same point in life. Different goals. Different views. Different circle of friends. Etc. Once the passion phase fades, what will be left of this?

 

[AirBo]

What you would have done?

OK, after all this, in the end, this is what I would do: Dump the chick if you value your family, and get a second phone for your SPcapades.

 

[marky1234]

Do you think I should really mention that? Would you have?

P.S.
Not much younger and some were older ..

You’re starting with a lie by not telling her. Not good! And she is letting you fuck her with no condom because she thinks you’re a nice familly man ( that you’re not sorry to say ). You just want to stick your penis in young chick mouth, pussy and ass, it has nothing to do with love, especially that this one lets you do it for free. Enjoy the moment but call it quit soon man.

 

[vanhamm]

First off never tell your new girlfriend that you used to book SP its going to look real bad. As for me I met a few women over my last 11 years of being single and they all wonder how i can go without having sex for so long. But I been doing the SP thing since 2013.

But for the love thing i guess with aging being single for so long i don't believe in this anymore

 

[ekzarh]

You’re starting with a lie by not telling her. Not good! And she is letting you fuck her with no condom because she thinks you’re a nice familly man ( that you’re not sorry to say ). You just want to stick your penis in young chick mouth, pussy and ass, it has nothing to do with love, especially that this one lets you do it for free. Enjoy the moment but call it quit soon man.

I got tested, so it’s not a problem.

And as I mentioned in my case I am not even the one initiating intimacy in more than 50% of the time.

So letting me do it for “free” (it’s never really free as we know it, even with the wife) is the major issue here?

 

[ekzarh]

First off never tell your new girlfriend that you used to book SP its going to look real bad. As for me I met a few women over my last 11 years of being single and they all wonder how i can go without having sex for so long. But I been doing the SP thing since 2013.

But for the love thing i guess with aging being single for so long i don't believe in this anymore

I got the question from her of
how do I have the experience to satisfy her after being for years in an unhappy marriage, I kind of changed the topic quickly and didn’t really answer that.