Open Letter: Discrimination Has No Place in This Industry

[Flabert]

Sex workers must have full control of who, when and how they meet clients and how much they request. That is not open for discussion.

Clients can then browse and pick based on their preference among the ones who will take them. We never question client choices here, seems a double standard

 

[Glyscore]

Sex workers must have full control of who, when and how they meet clients and how much they request. That is not open for discussion.

Clients can then browse and pick based on their preference among the ones who will take them. We never question client choices here, seems a double standard

And this further the question, why would you want to have a business relationship with someone who doesn't want too. Why would you want to have sexual encounter with someone who doesn't want too ?

 

[Glyscore]

That's why I moved on from being bothered with providers who doesn't accept black clients. There loss not mine eheheheheh

 

[Lunaseraphim]

MANY escorts are also disabled. Advocating for disabled people includes advocating for sex workers considering disability is a very common reason why people choose to get into sex work in the first place. They almost go hand in hand. If your advocacy only pertains to you then it isn't advocacy, it's a tantrum.

I don't think anyone is asking you to carry every battle at once, but you're demanding a reform where one isn't necessarily possible or needed (sex with specific people isn't a right it's a privilege/want, and many escorts aren't comfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with discrimination and everything to do with safety, as in your safety if they lack training with disability, for example). And you're demanding that of these people while simultaneously saying that your advocacy stops at their door step because "you can't be fighting every battle". At this point allow me to be blunt : I feel like escorts getting evicted and murdered and discriminated against by banks is far worse than you not getting your dick sucked by the specific escort you want to see. Don't demand a reform where you're not ready to put in the work to stand up for the same people you're asking to bend over backwards for the well being of your penis.

And before you come for me - I've also done disability advocacy. But your lack of understanding of intersectionality in this particular area rubbed me the wrong way. This isn't a different battle. It's a subset of the same battle.

Exactly!! Thank you!!!

That's why I moved on from being bothered with providers who doesn't accept black clients. There loss not mine eheheheheh

This type of discrimination really sucks and should have no place in this industry. But at the same time... You're better off not seeing racist providers I guess.

 

[envelopes]

Sex workers must have full control of who, when and how they meet clients and how much they request. That is not open for discussion.

Clients can then browse and pick based on their preference among the ones who will take them. We never question client choices here, seems a double standard

Exactly this. This whole thread disgusts me. "They should have sex with me because it's unfair to me!" Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I have personally been turned away for my race. I posted about it. My only complaint was that I wish she had advertised that, so I didn't waste my time traveling to her incall, no problem with it otherwise.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I kinda wish I could have some ice cream right now

 

[envelopes]

I kinda wish I could have some ice cream right now

Sounds like a choice you're making

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Exactly this. This whole thread disgusts me. "They should have sex with me because it's unfair to me!" Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I have personally been turned away for my race. I posted about it. My only complaint was that I wish she had advertised that, so I didn't waste my time traveling to her incall, no problem with it otherwise.

I was trying to finish this thread off but I don't think this is a good comparison. Refusing someone because of their race is pure discrimination, and someone's race doesn't affect the booking. (No matter what race someone is the service will be similar, they can travel to my incall, there is no special needs I need to learn about or tend to, etc) Unless of course someone is avoiding people from their own community for anonimity purposes. Other forms of discrimination I would find unacceptable are discrimination based on physical appearance or body size..

When it comes to someone who's disabled, it's more tricky. A lot of disabilities and chronic health issues are invisible or not disclosed during the booking process, so we all end up serving disabled clients.
I'm open to serve disabled clients personally, and if someone is able to tell me how I can accommodate their needs and this is within my boundaries and the client is polite, I will serve this person.. However, some people don't do outcalls. There are situations that I'm not personally equipped to deal with, even if I'm generally more knowledgeable than the average person about disabilities. In the end it's about the person's level of comfort with having to maybe do ''extra work'' or handle certain things they may not be trained for or used to.

I know that's slightly off topic but I don't think not wanting to see 18-19 year old clients is discrimination, either. It's not because I hate 18 year olds lol. I just don't want to sleep with someone who's barely legal. It's an uncomfortable situation for me. A provider who's younger might accept doing this. We all have different comfort levels when it comes to different situations.. And honestly providers with more experience and independent providers are probably more willing to accommodate certain things. (for example, seeing a client who's a virgin)

No matter what, if you're a respectful client, there will be someone who will have the capacity to serve you... but will you be willing to screen and pay higher rates if needed? A lot of indy providers who charge more have a discount or a sliding scale for disabled gentlemen, it's something that you can very easily look into...

MANY escorts are also disabled. Advocating for disabled people includes advocating for sex workers considering disability is a very common reason why people choose to get into sex work in the first place. They almost go hand in hand. If your advocacy only pertains to you then it isn't advocacy, it's a tantrum.

I don't think anyone is asking you to carry every battle at once, but you're demanding a reform where one isn't necessarily possible or needed (sex with specific people isn't a right it's a privilege/want, and many escorts aren't comfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with discrimination and everything to do with safety, as in your safety if they lack training with disability, for example). And you're demanding that of these people while simultaneously saying that your advocacy stops at their door step because "you can't be fighting every battle". At this point allow me to be blunt : I feel like escorts getting evicted and murdered and discriminated against by banks is far worse than you not getting your dick sucked by the specific escort you want to see. Don't demand a reform where you're not ready to put in the work to stand up for the same people you're asking to bend over backwards for the well being of your penis.

And before you come for me - I've also done disability advocacy. But your lack of understanding of intersectionality in this particular area rubbed me the wrong way. This isn't a different battle. It's a subset of the same battle.

This is my point. I find this thread extremely frustrating for that reason. And it's practically impossible to talk about disability among escorts here or on any online space accessible to clients, because it's unsafe for these escorts, because it ruins the image that all escorts who choose this as a career have this all consuming obsession with sex and their main passion is pleasing men, etc. (which is by the way, not true! we might enjoy working as escorts very much, it works for us, but most escorts I've met had fascinating hobbies, talents and interests outside of this job, which only adds to the appeal of booking them for those who enjoy conversation)

Same thing with racism.. We talk a lot about racism directed at clients, but what about the racism that escorts who aren't white have to deal with? Even on this forum it's obvious that there's a lot of subtle and not so subtle racism in reviews and on other threads. (the fetishization of women of a certain race is a major one...)

 

[Dave in Phoenix]

Wow, what a discussion. It should probably conclude with Luna's great comments, as she always does.

Sometimes, "advocacy," just like political views, can get to the point of being overdone. The point has been made and wisely discussed by many. James has stated his side of the facts but doesn't keep coming back to argue like the Advocate does. He has points but as others have wisely said, no one has the right to be served by a sexworker. Both the agency and the worker have the right to choose who they see, even though it may be totally unfair to a person.

I discriminate all the time because I only see slimmer, smaller natural breasts women (not over C) and have no interest in big butts. That is unfair to some providers. And I am more interested in intimacy, caring touch etc, than to me is often the more boring just sex stuff with a body. I was one of the first to use GFE on 300 baud dial-up modems on the sexwork newsgroup before websites. It had nothing to do with sex acts, but a connection for the hour with the person, not just a body like with a girlfriend.

Ironically, I found this thread after reading about the discrimination against "Indians," which I had never heard of before. But it was well explained based on a perhaps unfair stereotype. In the US many sexworker say no black men due to again the unfair stereotype of some being pimps. Or, when I was in Thailand, some bars had big signs in front saying "No Arabs," which was a hygiene stereotype.

However, the disability issue seems like an even more real issue than racial stereotypes. James pointed out a specific example of someone falling down and the escort didn't have the strength to help him up. Escorts are not trained or sometimes capable of dealing with the medical needs or the risks of being sued by an injured, disabled person. Yes you can suck someone sitting but in sexwork it can be much more complicated than that.

Thankfully, there are wonderful escorts like Luna and others on this thread, and according to James, even the agency has tried to work with different forms of disability. That is needed. But that choice has legal liability and medical issues that it seems are less unfair than racial stereotypes, but I respect those choices also.

If an advocate is going to write a book or appear in the media, they should be careful to have their facts right, or they might face a lawsuit for defamation/libel.

I am surprised moderators have left this discussion because some arguments by others went on so long. But for the most part, it was respectful and brought out the issues of the various hardships of those who are disabled. Yet I support the choice of an agency, individual escort, or other service provider.

End of sermon... now I pass the offering plate. Sorry I keep thinking of my libchrist old huge website.