I've been visiting Montreal and southern Quebec for 45 years, and indulging with local companions (and following this board) for a decade. I am deeply interested in the hobby culture and interested as well in how people talk about their experiences and their values. I LIKE this kind of conversation, even though I know that my interests are not always shared. And I know that my politics are to the left of many out here, which is fine. But I also think that those of us who want to can have civil and intelligent discussions about issues related to our shared "hobby."
This thread has at least three components. First, as EB has pointed out, is the OP's original complaint/statement. I think it has been well established here that XO is a reliable and non-discriminatory agency. I am *more* inclined to use their services after reading this thread. Second, there are a large number of posts saying that this thread is useless or bullshit; since such posts only prolong the thread, my advice is that those merbites consider engaging in threads that they find worthwhile.
The third element of this thread is about race, Montreal, and the hobby. I'm quite interested in this part of the thread; again, I'm interested in Montreal, I'm interested in how subcultures work, and I'm interested in the lives/values of both escorts and clients. (I can only repeat: if you're not, that's fine with me, but let it go; that's what this thread is largely about.)
Because I've been thinking about it, and because it's an open forum, I'm going to try to explain (again) the basic problem or misunderstanding that keeps coming up in this conversation, and why I think it has proved frustrating for many. It comes down to this: a number of people out here are treating "no black men" as a *personal,* individual preference. To a degree, it is that. And to the degree that an escort makes choices about whom she sees, then YES it is an individual escort's right to deny service based on any criteria at all. So Tiffany from Agency X may have a black boyfriend (or, as someone said, pimp) and thus prefers not to see black men; or she may have had a number of bad experiences with non-white clients; or she may find black men physically undesirable; or she may think that black men are disproportionately disrespectful to escorts; or she may be a member of the KKK. I don't especially care because, as many, many people have said, it's her right to decide whom she sees. Please, if anyone wants to respond, listen to this: an escort does not have to explain or justify whom she sees, and it is absolutely her right to decline service to anyone based on anything. (The reasons that we need anti-discrimination laws in the US don't seem to apply here, not because it's an unregulated industry but because it would be hard to prove that clients are unfairly penalized because of their race; they are not denied access to power/sex; they have options.)
Now, with the understanding that individual escorts HAVE THE RIGHT to make decisions about their services and their bodies, we can move on to a more interesting discussion. In Montreal, enough escorts advertise "no black men" that it speaks in broader ways about how escorting works in Montreal. That is, it seems to me that we've moved beyond personal preference and individual choice; we've moved into a social or economic or cultural situation. While individual escorts may have individual reasons, when enough share the same approach, it becomes a pattern that implies something about the social, economic, and perhaps sexual practices in the business. The same is true for ANY set of cultural practices. Michael may go to see the Habs to escape his shrewish wife; Oscar is trying to overcome his fear of crowds; Ellen likes the uniforms; but at a certain point enough people are going that we can look at demographics, spending patterns, and social behaviors. And, in the end, we can identify some consistent patterns and underlying causes. (We have not only an entire media but also now academic departments committed to understanding sports behaviors.) And so we can ask: what are the underlying reasons that so many escorts advertise "no black men"?
In other words, there are enough escorts that refuse to see black men that it speaks to something beyond individual choices-- and certainly creates an effect that goes beyond individuals. We know it's a cultural condition because, as has been repeatedly explained here, men of color are advised to declare their race when making an appointment; so at least clients see this as part of hobbying culture. We also know that, other than age, there are no other restrictions routinely put in place about clients' identities. There are expressed or implied restrictions about sobriety and cleanliness and manners, but those restrictions can be met by anyone; there may be implied restrictions about class ("only 4 or 5 star hotels") but this is a business and businesses are allowed to cater to wealthy clients. I can think of no other similar restriction that addresses the identity of clients as a demographic group. We don't see restrictions about disabilities, religion, height/weight, franco/anglophone, etc; and rarely do we see restrictions about gender or sexuality.
Some people have posted out here, including CaptRenault, Hungry101 and others, offering reasons that we see "no black men." It may have something to do with the sense that black men are statistically more likely, and perhaps considerably more likely, to be bad clients. If that is true, then perhaps the restriction is warranted. So, for example, we know that some immigrant communities (including some immigrants from Africa and the Middle East) have attitudes toward women that are far less "respectful" toward women than we are used to in the US--or at least conceive of "respect" in ways that most of us find objectionable. So it may be that a client from a specific immigrant culture is more likely to be disrespectful or worse to women in general and escorts as a group. And so on. In short, it may be that the restriction speaks widely to the experience of escorts on BP, and it may be that the restriction is put in place largely for reasons of safety. (Whether this is in fact warranted is a completely different discussion.)
To sum up this long post, I think that it can be not only interesting but beneficial for a forum like this to look at our own hobbying culture and to look at the mores and values in place. Honestly, when I started reading this thread, I thought that a blanket "no black men" policy (as a widespread condition, not an individual choice) was racist. After reading some of the posts, I am beginning to think that there may be a more complex dynamic going on in Montreal than I realized. But, to emphasize it, I don't see this discussion as useless; I think it's great to air stuff out. We're a forum; why not? If you don't want to talk about race, go to another thread. And, to repeat, it's NOT about whether an escort has the right to refuse service; she does.
