...Sigh.
Do. You. Speak. About. Yourself?
I. Am. Over. 40. Feel. Same. Way!!!
*Drops purple crayon...
Random thoughts (*rises from the dead*)
- Thread starter ChloeCoeur
- Start date
I. Am. Over. 40. Feel. Same. Way!!!
*Drops purple crayon...
I am not 18, 19 or 20.
I am not someone above 25 wanting to be with someone 18, 19 or 20.
I do not accept clients below 25.
I don’t care if a client is twice my age, I have been an adult for a few years already.
Us as SPs. Being over 25 wanting to be with 18 19, 20.
As an SP, its not about wanting to, for us it's more about willing to. I want, to meet adult men, who appreciate me, desire me, and pay to spend time with me, activities happen. I'm not wanting any set age, except good expieriences that won't cause me more trauma, to recede into myself to avoid the outside world more than I already do.
I was groomed as a child. I am able to realize the difference that my situation is not one that comes from me grooming a young adult, they are autonomous beings themselves reaching to me as an adult. Business is business.
I'm trying, and about to fail, to keep a roof over my 3 kids and my head, I have more than myself to think of. And there are more expieriences I would worry about me not surviving the mental effect of the visit, and removing myself from all problems permanently as a result. Then to judge myself for seeing a legal adult who wants to see someone older willing to see him. Screening for good visits only isn't to just get good visits, it's for mental survival. I wouldn't care about give up on myself I already did, but I have to keep going for now for them.
The young adults around me in my personal life, are seen as children to me. They aren't reaching out to me in text asking to pay for services, or seeing me as a sexual option. To them I am a safe adult to be around because I have made it a point that my home is a safe place for them to get away from what they have had to deal with in their own homes.
I am, which is why I feel needing to justify recent comments I have made about MILF situations. I get worried about being misunderstood and judged for it.
I think I worry, often a young woman has her youth taken from her when being with an older man, because he wants her to speed up threw life, to match him at his slow down state. Wife and mother her up, so she doesn't even get the chance to be and expierience youth and discovering who she is in the world before being told who to be for his desires.
With my kids I warned about relationships at young ages, because rather then discover who you are, you try to be what this other person wants you to be, sometimes its the opposite of who you actually are.
We all need time to creat our own selves and boxes, before letting someone else create a box to shove us in even if we don't fit.
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There is much to unpact and reflect here.
I'll start by saying thank you for the explanations to both of you.
Although my original question was asked on a human perspective. I understand the separation between woman, sp and men, clients.
I'm sorry about the traumas you had to live threw! If it is any consolation; I do take those stories to heart, mine as well; trying to be a better human, helping where and how I can.
As a single middle aged man. I still want kids. Maybe naïvely, and women my age can be intimidating.That being said; I wouldn't want a younger woman to rush threw in order to breach the gap you mentioned. It's the opposite actually, in my case. Although, as we discussed in the past, it is a communication and values issues in the end, that either makes it or not.
And yes, it is terryfing for me to meet a 20 year old and realise, she could be my daughter. The attraction must come from her, and if i'm half the gentleman I think I can be. To also realise if said attraction is from genuine sentiments or only the need for securities.
...And yes the society frowned upon age gap, you try to mute. And men get the cutes nicknames: Silver foxes... women gets to be seen as cougars, milfs etc...
That is also a disparity, we could adress.
P.s. That's why I try to be brief... So I dont write novels or overshare. Eff it!
It was worth it. Thank you.
My random thought...
How much I hate having and AuDHD brain with timeblindness, that means at any given time at any given day, because of some trigger I don't know of, I can be flipped back to a moment of the past as if I am in it presently. Only for a moment, not enough to make it uncomfortable for others, just long enough to remind me I will never get to forget the things I have gotten to build myself up out from.
How much I hate having and AuDHD brain with timeblindness, that means at any given time at any given day, because of some trigger I don't know of, I can be flipped back to a moment of the past as if I am in it presently. Only for a moment, not enough to make it uncomfortable for others, just long enough to remind me I will never get to forget the things I have gotten to build myself up out from.
Sometimes, a raised voice, is seen as a grenade being unpinned. A lil dig, a sass, perceived as past humiliations. A person rapidly raising their hands, in order to express themsemselves; met with a defensive flinch backward leaving everyone sitting around awckwardly confused.
It takes forever, a village, a truck load of empathy... Cats reflexes and attitude to dodge judgements and rejections.
Then, in one of your multiple quests to better yourself, one meets a woman his age, dressed in all pink and purple stars suit, rocking a hello kitty back pack, speaking in a child's voice.
( Arrested developpement.)
And although trauma is trauma!
Upon seeing her, one might think to himself:
《Get a fucking grip boy, and make a man of yourself!》
You never forget, but the main quest is, to let go.
I apologies if the subject I sometimes bring are heavy, or hit too close to home for a readers comfort. Do know that I deal with the anxiety of miss appropriating a review board. The urges to press delete. But I know, I'm not alone. So I pick the pocket change of courage I have, and write, for those that maybe, cannot.
It's a great day outside. I'll go, let go, with sun in my face.
*(... ... ... Post reply.)
It takes forever, a village, a truck load of empathy... Cats reflexes and attitude to dodge judgements and rejections.
Then, in one of your multiple quests to better yourself, one meets a woman his age, dressed in all pink and purple stars suit, rocking a hello kitty back pack, speaking in a child's voice.
( Arrested developpement.)
And although trauma is trauma!
Upon seeing her, one might think to himself:
《Get a fucking grip boy, and make a man of yourself!》
You never forget, but the main quest is, to let go.
I apologies if the subject I sometimes bring are heavy, or hit too close to home for a readers comfort. Do know that I deal with the anxiety of miss appropriating a review board. The urges to press delete. But I know, I'm not alone. So I pick the pocket change of courage I have, and write, for those that maybe, cannot.
It's a great day outside. I'll go, let go, with sun in my face.
*(... ... ... Post reply.)
Even innocent questions, can lead to explosive answers, if asked to someone who has an explosive answer.
And I am always struggling with the desire to go back and hit delete. But sometimes I know reguardless of the outcome, I need to be heard, preferably understood. And without context you could be heard, but without understanding.
I only answer things I have an oppinion on to share, or try to, because if I don't have an oppinion or a share I wouldn't have anything to say at all.
My struggle with communication is it's a lot, or nothing at all. I don't get smalltalk. It's either big discussions I'm interested in with lots to share, or I'm tuned out entirly and silent. And when I try to edit, often it leads to more, not less.
A Toronto woman made a video about how hidden camera hats and other hidden camera products are harder to notice now.
After a long walk today, got back to the car, craving ice cream. Having lost about 32 calories, I indulged myself in gaining 178 back...
Upon arriving to this unknown spot, lo and behold; a car meet! I instantly bursted out laughing thinking about @AnthonyAnderson
I like cars, the sports around it, the speed. But I am physically repulse by car meets. Although it is their passion, you may have a point buddy.
I delected myself in a sorbet with an amused grin, watching them "Patch" as they slowly left. I imagined you, cursing, from a 100 miles away.
I Then dropped some raspberries stuff on my shirt and had to leave...
Upon arriving to this unknown spot, lo and behold; a car meet! I instantly bursted out laughing thinking about @AnthonyAnderson
I like cars, the sports around it, the speed. But I am physically repulse by car meets. Although it is their passion, you may have a point buddy.
I delected myself in a sorbet with an amused grin, watching them "Patch" as they slowly left. I imagined you, cursing, from a 100 miles away.
I Then dropped some raspberries stuff on my shirt and had to leave...
Sucking a dick before giving it a Footjob helps making it nice and wet
That's funny!
To elaborate on my poetic rant that you are referring to: I don't dislike cars, although I used to like them more when they were simple machines and not computers on wheels; what I dislike is all the vanity–and if I wanted to be mean, vacuity–that surrounds the F1 event.
...Once upon a time, cars we're Cars!
Now they are an emotions with dvd in the back for the kids. Jantes noir en aliminum de 20" RAM! ...Sales tactics.
Formula one was once unpopular, fatal to a driver almost every race. It was also the time of gentleman drivers like Moss, (The King without a crown.) Clark, Fangio. Then it became a business. Like Wimbeldon, TPC at saw-grass, the oscars. It is one of the most exclusive sport in the world. Kids practice karting from age four and drive a formula one car, before graduating high-school now days. Only twenty two seats available. I'd say one in a hundred thousand will make it. And money... At lesser talent, money will prevail, sadly!
They show up in a town, media circus, public personalities, parties, V.I.P access, food, champagne...Women!
And, of course, a lil racing. It is a little bit vain, ephemeral. They get to pack it up on monday and travel the world. It is enticing, be part of something, if only, for a few days. The rich, the poor and the non iniciated wanna be part of it. The entire town is vibrating with those names, most will forget in two hours. Those who cannot afford it, patch their rusted mazda3 on René-Lévesque, in their own form of celebration, before binge watching drive to survive. They wanna be part of it too. And they should, although obnoxiously sometimes.
P.s. Watch it on British T.v. nothing wrong with our phenomenal RDS presentators. But Sky sports have Martin Brundle, Damon Hill, Jenson Button as presentators. All former F1 drivers who will describe the race week-end, like we do it with hockey here *(Except tva sport... by god!!!) Also, Drive to survive or the F1 movie are alright to get innitiated, but watch Senna (Movie and tv show.), or even Rush if you want to get deeper into racing.
I would be a car person if it weren't for all the car people.
On a related note, I've never had a footjob (or really wanted one) but since I saw this I can't help wanting to try it.
That’s random! Never saw that product before, never knew this was a thing. Thanks for sharing
I didn’t need it maybe I’d try but I think I like working my abs more
I helped a friend plan a date with a girl he met on tinder. Picked the restaurant for them based on her preferences, made the reso and that made me realize I would have been an amazing assistant or concierge
