texting etiquette

[tiannas]

I'm wondering how long is an appropriate period of time in which to return a text? Often I may be busy with an extended date or other engagements and I can't respond to a text. I don't want to be rude and not respond, but if 4 hours or sometimes more have passed, should I respond then? I don't want to disturb someone when it's not a good time. Many times someone may have been responding to an ad I placed at the beginning of the night and now it's midnight, so do I even bother answering? Or if someone texts me later in the evening and I was already sleeping, should I respond the next day?

 

[wolfie7]

I think you should always respond to a text, even if it's a day after the fact. Leaving someone hanging is just plain rude. If nothing else, just apologize for the delay in answering, the effort and courtesy is appreciated. :thumb:

Regarding someone else seeing the reply text - the responsibility is entirely on the sender. A smartphone is a personal item - as far as I'm concerned, it's akin to my wallet, I never leave home without it, it's got tons of valuable personal and professional information, and I sure as hell never let someone else access it freely, not even GFs. Hell, it is a wallet now with Apple Pay and other NFV tech. It's private! If you're dumb enough to not lock your phone or to provide ready access to anyone else, you deserve all the idiotic consequences of that poor decision. :nono:

Harsh, but that's my opinion.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

I agree with a proviso here, text only if you know that is the preferred way to contact a lady.
I use only email and text is only for final contact if a meeting is arranged, I specify that when I meet people.
But I still get random text at sometime inconvenient moment and since the person has my number it means that I've met them but a text from someone i met 2 years ago asking ''if I still meet?'' with no details or name is not the right approach, I am sorry I have no clue who you are and will not respond ...

 

[Merlot]

Hello all,

I don't want to be rude and not respond, but if 4 hours or sometimes more have passed, should I respond then? I don't want to disturb someone when it's not a good time.

If you are in business then you should respond to all texts. If it's not a business message then it depends on who is texting. When you do it is problematic. At your first convenience would be my answer with a maximum of 24 hours. If you can't respond fully or can't give an answer because you do not know yet then send something like "Ill get back to you ASAP". Acknowledge you received the text. As for being careful about disturbing them, well, if someone sends you a text they should be ready for an answer any time. If they leave the phone on timing is not your problem it's theirs.

I use only email and text is only for final contact if a meeting is arranged, I specify that when I meet people.

Smart.

But I still get random text at sometime inconvenient...

The problem there is no one can know when it's inconvenient unless it's at unusual hours.

Cheers,

Merlot

 

[wolfie7]

Courtesans have usual hours?!? I always thought I could just text "Disponible?" whenever I wanted!! :lol: Kidding...

 

[Leonar]

I'm wondering how long is an appropriate period of time in which to return a text? Often I may be busy with an extended date or other engagements and I can't respond to a text. I don't want to be rude and not respond, but if 4 hours or sometimes more have passed, should I respond then? I don't want to disturb someone when it's not a good time. Many times someone may have been responding to an ad I placed at the beginning of the night and now it's midnight, so do I even bother answering? Or if someone texts me later in the evening and I was already sleeping, should I respond the next day?

I don't know what kind of phone you are using, but some like my Samsung has an auto-reply. So I can easily set it up to text back immediately an appropriate message telling the sender that it may take some time to reply back. Keep it short, sweet and most important very engaging! not cold or remote. I often set up mine to text back, especially when I am driving: "hi, this is an auto-reply... a bit busy right now, can I call u later?". Also there are some smart phone apps, more sophisticated, that have the capability to reply only once, filter messages, reply different messages to different phones, prioritize messages etc... So, use technology to fix your life

 

[rollingstone]

Respond to the text, even if time has passed. Like others have said, making sure no one else sees the text is his responsibility, not yours. Generally speaking, I think texting should be used to coordinate meetings that are imminent, like "I am running late", or "I am parking my car and will be up soon", i.e. to relate information that is relevant to an appointment on the same day. My opinion anyways.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

Yes dear: 10h to 16h for me...

 

[tiannas]

Thanks so much for the replies. I'm actually a little surprised by the responses, but pleasantly so as it is in my nature to respond, even after the fact.

The auto-reply option sounds interesting, if I know I'll be in a long booking like an overnight and away from my phone for an extended period. I'll have to check into that.

 

[PopeDover]

Nothing wrong with responding the next day, for whatever reason. Any half decent man would completely understand. It's inherent to our situation.

 

[Lana Red]

Wow ! Reading these posts have changed my perspective ! Often, I did not answer to a text because I took it few hours later and I a wanted to be sure to do not put someone in a awkward situation.
Maybe some people found me rude when I wanted to be cautious...

I am surprise that no one here appears to have the other point of view. In some situations, it can be hard sometimes to keep your things private with a partner who constantly investigates...

And thanks Tiannas for this relevant thread.

 

[Merlot]

Hello ladies,

Wow ! Reading these posts have changed my perspective !

I am surprise that anybody here don't seem to have the other point of view.

From the client's perspective there is NOTHING worse when it comes to trying to contact a lady than uncertainty. I would imagine that most clients have done a lot of research and/or gotten some help from good friends they trust. All that time used and getting excited about a great possible meeting only to be delayed, ignored, left not knowing. If it was the lady in that position how would you all feel. Yup, it's pretty darn bad.

On both sides, try to provide an answer or acknowledge the inquiry. Show you are paying attention and coming to an answer so we all can move on if necessary.

Nothing wrong with responding the next day, for whatever reason.

True, if a guy is being unreasonable or too pushy maybe that's a sign to move away from him.

Cheers,

Merlot

 

[AmberRose]

This thread and the responses have been very helpful!

But I have a question in relation to it..
What about calling someone back? Should there be a time limit on that, if they left a message but didn't give any specifics on okay times to call?

 

[johnybird]

But I have a question in relation to it..
What about calling someone back? Should there be a time limit on that, if they left a message but didn't give any specifics on okay times to call?

I think it's up to us to let you know if there's a specific time you shouldn't contact us.
IMHO there shouldn't be a time limit. If I never hear from you. I would feel like you wouldn't want to see me, so I wouldn't try contacting you again.


I was a bit spoiled when I first started. The first few dates, I received a response in a few minutes.

The first time it took someone to get back to me after an hour and a half I was wondering what was taking so long lol!
But I of course realized that she can be with a client, in school or just busy.

I usually book days in advance, so if I don't hear from her within 24 hours I figure it's not going to happen.

It's happened to me only once where I texted someone and didn't hear back from them, I received a response almost 3 weeks later, She was on vacation.
I did appreciated that she wrote back and we were able to schedule something. In cases where you will be absent for a long period of time it's a good idea to indicate it in your ads or some other way.

 

[rollingstone]

I have never received a call unless it was for something very time-sensitive. In the end it is also his responsibility to decide whether to take the call or not. You can send a quick text checking to see if now is an appropriate time to call.

As far as "keep your things private with a partner who constantly investigates..." as Lana mentioned, your response need not be bawdy in nature. Texts by their very nature are supposed to be concise.

 

[wolfie7]

This thread and the responses have been very helpful!

But I have a question in relation to it..
What about calling someone back? Should there be a time limit on that, if they left a message but didn't give any specifics on okay times to call?

Same answer on the time limit. You should always respond back, regardless. Preferably within 24 hours. I think all of us are busy, and can understand if the SP can't respond within minutes (...like a booker should). But 24 hours - come on, everyone can do that. How many multi-day or week-long client excursions are you ladies on anyways??

I think you respond with the same medium. If someone calls and leaves a message, call back. If someone texts, text back. Generally, texts are more discreet, and I would err towards texts, especially if it's someone you haven't met before. Personally, I am text-only. Unless it's an emergency, I really don't want to be gabbing with you over the phone. The conversation, if overheard, just leads to awkward questions... Also, keep in mind, when a phone rings, and is unattended, the lock screen lights up with the caller ID. Very prominently. If you have met before and are familiar with one another, the caller ID on the phone may get the client into trouble or some embarrassment, with work colleagues or with the significant other. (Be smart naming your favorites in your Contacts, gents! Then again, if you're cheating, you bad boy, you deserve to get caught! :lol: )

...
Maybe some people found me rude when I wanted to be cautious...

Interesting perspective. It's been equally enlightening for clients, I'm sure. I always thought (and still think for most part...) it's just the SP being rude and lazy. It didn't cross my mind that the SP was trying to be cautious and was thinking about my well being. Anyways, you should respond. You're running a business. Responding to customers is part and parcel.

Just like you ladies have a shitlist / blacklist, not responding will put you on the blacklist of a lot of hobbyists, I'm sure. For me, if no-response happens twice, I've crossed you off my list. Just a pet peeve for me. If this is something you really can't or don't want to handle, hire a secretary.

I'll caveat and agree with Merlot's point though - if a client is being clingy and pinging the SP too much, then you can ignore him. Better yet, tell him he's pinging you too much. Actually, being direct is better, or at least that's what I would prefer.

 

[tiannas]

Wow ! Reading these posts have changed my perspective ! Often, I did not answer to a text because I took it few hours later and I a wanted to be sure to do not put someone in a awkward situation.
Maybe some people found me rude when I wanted to be cautious...

Me too!

So I actually responded to a text from a few days ago because of this thread. The gentleman is no longer in town but he did thank me for replying and indicated he may contact me on his next visit.

 

[wolfie7]

See - MERB works as good information exchange. :thumb:

 

[Doggyluver]

When sending a text to an SP I know that two things hold true in most cases. They don't work in the morning so if you text early hoping to book for later in the day chances are your text won't be answered until after 2:00pm or later depending on how late she worked the night before. If she is with a client or has a number of bookings back to back, she may not respond for the rest of the day , in this case you know the next time you are in the mood to see someone so popular, book early.

I also have a FF that told me once that because of her daily life and the fact that she has a couple of kids it may be a day or two before she responds to anyone but eventually she will get back and not to text non stop, "where are you? Answer me? you're rude? I hate you? don't you love me ? I'll burn your house down ?" lol Give people a break, your text may not be as important to them as it is to you.

 

[Lily from Montreal]

Not everybody work late but it is true that real life prevents us to answer right away.

I sometime wonder if gentleman thinks we are waiting all day for your call-text-message? Nope...

I answer when I can ,in my case it is daytime,after 17h is real life so no point of doing like someone did once: he emailed in the evening, I am Lily in the morning so it is only the next day that I saw that not only he had emailed me,twice, he had texted me,twice, and left a message on my voicemail...actually those I saw only by chance because I had to charge my Lilyphone, otherwise it could have been a week since I open my phone only when I go out as Lily...
This other gentleman used to text me so much that I had to close my phone because I do not answer when in a meeting but it is distracting to hear the ping,when I opened my phone i had 7 (!) text escalating from ''where are you'' to did '' I say something wrong''!!!! Hum,nothing wrong just bad timing?

Not that like Doggylover suggest your text is less important but we juggle many lives and are not on stand-by for you or anybody...