The meaning of "No"
- Thread starter pop2021
- Start date
There’s no issue, I don’t associate with the “no black gent” crew.
It’s only strange that black men are the only group that’s always rejected. I am a black woman so of course I am going to notice that and raise my eyebrows
It’s only strange that black men are the only group that’s always rejected. I am a black woman so of course I am going to notice that and raise my eyebrows
Hum maybe because in general black men are less likely to “book an escort” because it’s something a lot of black men consider like a BIG problem for their masculinity? Also most of them tend to bargain our rates way more often so they simply never make it to book an actual escort. And they also get rejected anyway before being able to start the booking process. Not to forget that a LOT of escorts don’t see the value of warning other escorts because they are scared of criticism ??
I think we should look at it with another perspective:
- the average of black providers are simply way less than the white providers. So the “warnings” that we receive are mainly made by white providers about the main clientele (white men).
- We are in Canada. The population is mainly “white” so = more white clients.
- Everyone has their own experiences with different races and it’s valid ( I did see a few girls on LL saying no white men. It’s rare because you are statistically cutting off more than half of your potential market but it’s still a thing).
Now to talk about why black escorts refuse black client:
For my own I don’t discriminate in any way someone because of his race or anything. I give everyone the Benefit of the doubt until you show me your true face.
But with my small experience in the industry and my personal life; black men tend to be the most disrespectful people towards black women (me). Every time I had a big issue especially regarding safety issues (on the point I’m scared of losing my own life) with a client it was always a black man. So I can technically because of my bad experiences with black men decide to stop meeting them in general. But I don’t do that because even though my ratio of bad black men is higher than the good one I’m still a human being with a heart and I believe that it’s maybe just an unfortunate coincidence??? I do have some not so good experiences with white men but my ratio is not that high in comparison. That’s also mainly why I don’t discriminate (both black and white clients can become bad at some point so why discriminate only the black one?)
I’m also just wondering if it’s a kind of cultural thing where black men treats white women better than black women? In a lot of African / Caribbean countries and cultures white is considered better than black so instantly people tend to treats white people better than their peers. Plus the fact that many black providers are scared to get booked by a relative (we are a smaller community in a mainly white community. Every body knows every body unless your family is abroad).
For the white girls who refuse to see black men that’s another story. I can’t say much about it because I’m not them. It’s their choice and they may have a really legit reason why they don’t want to deal with black client. Not because of racism or colourism. Ex: the ratio of them having bad black client was way too higher and way more dangerous for their safety.
Disclaimer : this My 2 cents in an open debate thread! Not targeting anyone. Please be kind and respectful when you give your opinion!
I hear that sometimes but my only bad experiences were with white men so that’s why it’s hard for me to understand because despite that, I wouldn’t say “no white men”. I’ve worked in many cities and provinces.
I think that’s another factor, there are some places that have a higher density of certain races or ethnicities.
Facts that’s why I don’t put myself a limit of what race should I see or not. My experience can be different to yours.
I give everyone their chance and if they fucked it; that’s on them! I won’t throw away my entire bag of apples because one is not good.
I honestly think it a shame to exclude by race. I get different people have different reasons. But think about 1/2 the men if not more i see are POC. I have recently had a race discussion with one of my regulars because he was talking about going to africa for 3 months. And was educating me on the political situation in africa by the french there, and was lost in discussions on how awful the race wars tend to be all over the world. And I refered to all races as being candy, and how boring candy is if the only flavor would be vanilla.
Admittedly I do have some cultures that I seem to prefer more than others, finding some don't seem very compatible with my personality. But even then an individual isn't dictated by the culture either. Admittedly when haveing good text discussions with someone and planning out a visit and i get asked if it is ok that they are of 'x' race or culture, it breaks my heart, especially when they are really sweet. It makes me happy to say i don't discriminate by color, i discriminate by personality.
Admittedly I do have some cultures that I seem to prefer more than others, finding some don't seem very compatible with my personality. But even then an individual isn't dictated by the culture either. Admittedly when haveing good text discussions with someone and planning out a visit and i get asked if it is ok that they are of 'x' race or culture, it breaks my heart, especially when they are really sweet. It makes me happy to say i don't discriminate by color, i discriminate by personality.
Women in this industry provide us with an amazing experience and we owe them respect and gratitude at all times. They put themselves in a vulnerable position so should be the only ones who get to decide who they see and who they don't. It is not up to them to give every guy a chance and then bar an individual if he fucked it... that is a bar that is way too low.
I doubt women who have an exclusion do so out of bigotry although it ends up being discriminatory. They lose too by not having the client but do so because of their lived experience or real stats.
The good news is that not everyone will have the same exclusion list and being nice to the women you see is the secret to changing these exclusions over time... one positive experience at a time!
I doubt women who have an exclusion do so out of bigotry although it ends up being discriminatory. They lose too by not having the client but do so because of their lived experience or real stats.
The good news is that not everyone will have the same exclusion list and being nice to the women you see is the secret to changing these exclusions over time... one positive experience at a time!
It can't be more clear.
NO means NO... period!
NO means NO... period!
Just wanted to say that I am impressed that both of you (and others) are able to separate out your bad experiences and not stereotype based on a few negative experiences. One of the most common behaviors for humans is loss aversion, where human beings experiences losses asymmetrically more severely than equivalent gains. And overcoming this cognitive bias is not easy for most people.
THE DANGEROUS DELUSION OF THE BIG, SCARY BLACK MAN
- PACIFIC STANDARD STAFF
- UPDATED:
JUN 14, 2017
ORIGINAL:
MAR 13, 2017
The Dangerous Delusion of the Big, Scary Black Man - Pacific Standard (psmag.com)
Study: people see black men as larger and more threatening than similarly sized white men
Researchers found this time and time again in a series of seven studies.Study: people see black men as larger and more threatening than similarly sized white men - Vox
There is nothing racist about sexual chemistry and tastes - your body is your choice. What’s perhaps more complex is that it’s socially accepted as a norm to say “no black gents” on ads but it’s not okay to say “no fat dudes”.
In the latter case, clients will assume the lady is picky and difficult whereas in the previous case people understand that is a socially acceptable restriction on ads. Ironically, in both cases it’s really the client’s reaction that dictates what is or is not acceptable in terms of boundaries for the SP.
In the latter case, clients will assume the lady is picky and difficult whereas in the previous case people understand that is a socially acceptable restriction on ads. Ironically, in both cases it’s really the client’s reaction that dictates what is or is not acceptable in terms of boundaries for the SP.
Men get rejected all the time, because of money, race, penis size, etc.
Men can take rejection, it's no biggie.
I've been rejected twice for making a girl come too many times and she couldnt work after me. You just brush off the rejection and keep moving.
Men can take rejection, it's no biggie.
I've been rejected twice for making a girl come too many times and she couldnt work after me. You just brush off the rejection and keep moving.
I remember being rejected once in my hobbying career for being "too intense" (well, that was the reason the booker gave me anyway). It was Scarlet @ Devilish. She was hot... more than that she was special. I had seen her a few times and she seemed to really enjoy herself before she refused to see me again.
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A girl rejected me for making her squirt multiple times 2 months ago.
Another one kept saying she loved me, I told her I just want to have fun. She rejected me, doesnt want to see me anymore.
so yeah rejections happens in all shapes and forms. The only time when rejection hurts is when it is a high quality woman rejects you. Like a hot female doctor who doesn't engage in casual sex. Then you realize you're really deviant. Aside from that nothing hurts.
Another one kept saying she loved me, I told her I just want to have fun. She rejected me, doesnt want to see me anymore.
so yeah rejections happens in all shapes and forms. The only time when rejection hurts is when it is a high quality woman rejects you. Like a hot female doctor who doesn't engage in casual sex. Then you realize you're really deviant. Aside from that nothing hurts.
Of course it all depends on the definition of "too intense"?
Not all ladies like the non stop, Energizer Bunny, ass slapping, choking, and hee-haw ride-um cowboy, bronco style
I have a friend who was ex-escort She is white close to age 60 and was SP in the 80s before the internet was available
Classic story of a Runaway /homeless girl befriended by a black pimp/handler/Bf
She got out of the situation after seeing how he was mistreating the other girls.
A year later she walking down the street and the same black pimp sees her and pulls her into his car and threatened her with a knife over her neck telling how displeased he was of her leaving him and she was his property.
He lets her go but she was so scared she was going to die.
Not saying all black men are like this but she will not trust a black dude due to this.
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I was a different kind of intense back then but you are right. I can't be a good fit for every lady I'd like to meet so I tend to pick carefully.
My batting average is still .999 though. She truly was the exception but fact is it happened to me so I'm sharing.
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