The Official MERB 2010-2011 NHL Free For All Thread

[joelcairo]

So the Leafs finally won a game - maybe Boston was repaying a small part of the huge debt it owes to Burkie.

And speaking of Burkie, it's kind of amusing that the Ego Who Walks didn't have the stones to appear on Hockey Night in Canada to face the music. Good for Ron McLean for calling him out (albeit in his usual wimpy manner) and good for Grapes for REALLY calling out Burkie on both his cowardice and his inept decision-making (citing Kadri as just the latest example).

 

[joelcairo]

And now that the Leafs finally managed to win one and even the Invisible Man managed to score in the shootout, the Leaf Faithful are in rapture.

Well, yes, Phil scored in the shootout, but...duh!!...so did Tyler Seguin! And Seguin ALSO had an assist. The Invisible Man's record against his former team - a team that you would THINK he would want to do WELL against - is one lousy stinkin' assist in 8 games.

 

[gohabsgo]

speaking of the invisible man ...

It's official: Kessel trade a disaster for Maple Leafs

Brian Burke made two giant miscalculations that have deemed the deal to failure.

One, he honestly believed the Leafs would be more competitive last season and this season than they have turned out to be.

Two, he honestly believed Kessel would be a game-changing forward for the Leafs, which hasn’t been the case.

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Hockey/NHL/Toronto/2010/12/04/16431916.html

 

[G1GBallday]

Found this on the web.

Lyrics for Burkie's version of In The Ghetto


As the December snow flies
On a cold, blue&white T.O. night
A poor little leaf fan is born
Leaf Nation grows to morn
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

The Tragically Hip did sing
about the Bill Barilko thing
Fifty mehsion Cap
the leaf are still crap
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Pre 68 Keon was great
He had hair and flair
in black and white
Stanley Cup Parade
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

In 93 Wayne Gretzky
slashed Doug Gilmour he
While Kerry did not see
Buffed his lid with glee
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Ken Dryden as President
Got free MLSE rent
But he couldn't bring
Bob Gainey as G.M.
to the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

JFJr he got all the blame
Unlike his Dad he had no fame
Along came belligerent Burke
Yeah it rhymes with pugnacious jerk
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

A Tiger Glassed singer
Raises his middle finger
In a fucking pathetic song
Where the lyrics are wrong
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Should've bought HNICs theme
Your not my Canada's team
In the ratings the Habs are first
Tonight leaf'll be 3 Dimensionally worse
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Champagne and sushi for two
Add a waffle to your Dion boo
Hey Mike Dou$harek
Fuck You
in the ghetT.O.

and don cherry cried

 

[joelcairo]

Cool stuff G1G. Love the part about belligerent Burke rhyming with pugnacious jerk.

 

[joelcairo]

I have something to say, but I better not post it in the No Truth Allowed thread.

I guess I also better not post it in the No Thinking Allowed thread (thanks for giving that one the appropriate name, Rumples!).

That leaves this thread, so here goes:

Sincere congratulations to the Toronto Maple Leafs, who are now in the midst of an amazing ONE GAME WINNING STREAK! Please note that thanks to this entirely unexpected surge of victory, the Leafs have proudly held on to 28th place overall in the ENTIRE (30 team) National Hockey League.

And while we're congratulating the Leafs, let's save a cheer for their "merging superstar" (in the immortal words of one of their TWO remaining fans), who has a fabulous ONE goal in his last EIGHT games. And to think that to obtain this "sniper" (sic), all GM Brian Burke had to do was trade away the future of the franchise. Way to go Brian! Way to go Phil! Rah rah Leafs!

 

[joelcairo]

"Merging superstar" Phil Kessel (in the infamous words of a diehard Leaf-lover) is supposed to create offence. He has a miserable 19 points in 31 games, and as everyone knows he is also a defensive liability, as his -10 plus/minus rating will attest to.

Compare this pampered and pouty little failure to someone like Pavel Datsyuk of the great Detroit Red Wings. Pavel has 37 points in 30 games - basically TWICE what Little Phil has - and in addition Pavel is one of the greatest defensive forwards who has ever lived.

But hey, maybe it's unfair to compare Little Phil to another forward, so let's compare the "merging superstar" to a defenceman. Hell, let's tip the scales ALL the way in Little Phil's favor and compare him to a 40 year old defenceman! Well folks, Nick Lidstrom has 26 points in 30 games, meaning he has 7 points MORE than the Invisible Man despite having played one game LESS than the Invisible Man... and he's FORTY years old (!) and he's a DEFENCEMAN! But, still, the deaf, dumb, and blind Leaf-lovers will try to tell you that Phil is a good player...or EVEN a "merging superstar"!

What's that sound? Oh yeah, it's the entire city of Boston LAUGHING nonstop at Phil Kessel, Brian "hey, I'm the architect who built the BRUINS" Burke, and the entire laughable Maple Leaf team and organization.

 

[joelcairo]

So I wonder how Dion liked his return to Calgary?

Sadly for the "captain", his team lost. (Golly gee, what a shock.)

Also sadly for the captain, his incredible scoring streak was halted at one goal - coincidentally the ONLY goal this Calgary reject has scored in the entire 2010-2011 season. But, the Leaf-lovers will say, his job is to PREVENT goals, not to score them. Unluckily however, this persistent team cancer can't do that either, as his -4 plus/minus ranking indicates. It would be even worse, of course, except that he's missed half the Leaf games so far this year. Did I mention that he's fragile and not too bright?

Hey, Dion's a loser, no doubt about it, but at least he gets to control the music in the Leaf dressing room.

What's THAT sound? Oh yeah, it's the entire city of Calgary laughing nonstop at Dion Phaneuf, Brian "hey, I'm always willing to help the Sutter Family" Burke, and the entire laughable Maple Leaf team and organization.

 

[Jman47]

Now, now Merlot,

It seems some of the Beliboy brazenness is rubbing off on you from riding that football high...lol.

Let's count now...if its been 18 years since the Habs last cup in 1993...then how many years has it been since the Bruins last cup in...when was it...oh yeah, 1972?

39 is it?...Did I count right?

And as a recently recruited Habs fan I also have to mire in the glory of the QUANTITY of Cups the Habs have won...24 I believe?
Bruins have ??? 5, I think?

Just sayin...

Have fun,

Jman

 

[Jman47]

Hello Jman,

Yes, I am a Bruins fan...not that I worry about it much because I am only a very casual Bruins fan. You guys can say anything and it won't bother me, as you can see from my lack of real participation in hockey threads. So fire away.

Looking at that banner doesn't tell the real story. Most of those were won in a league with 4-6 teams total...up 1967 I believe? And, most Canadiens championships were won when Montreal owned the automatic exclusive rights to the best players. Hmmm, 4-6 teams and rights to the best players. Uh, that's not a league...it's a monopoly for pre-1968 Canadiens.

The point is none of the three teams have any CUP accomplishments in many years to brag about.

Cheers,

Merlot ( Love the Canadians...hate the hockey Canadiens)

Just having some fun my man...I assume the third team you refer to is the Leafs...or as can be said here the Laffs?
How many years now?

Have fun,

Jman

 

[joelcairo]

Hmmm,

WHY? 18 Years this season without a sniff of a Stanley Cup, THAT'S WHY! Some people sure are full of themselves for having nothing for so long. That SOUND is a lot of...

Don't you love free-for-all threads...lol.

Happy fantasies,

Merlot

Gee Merlot, since you're the board's #1 stalker, you could at least attempt to get your facts straight. Quibble with my post if you will, but find a better reason: I'm a Detroit fan, not a Habs fan, so your latest attempt at stalking me is even more pathetic than usual. Still, I have to give you credit for doing it publicly rather than in your usual cowardly e-mails.

By the way, of the Original Six, which is the team with the longest drought since a Cup victory? Okay, too easy: we all know Toronto last won - in fact, last even MADE IT to the finals - in 67. But what's the Original Six team with the SECOND-longest drought? Oh yeah, it's Beantown, which hasn't won since 72.

Moral: if you're going to stalk me (or anyone else, for that matter - since other posters have also called you out on your annoying habit of bothering people with PMs) - at least try to do it in a way that makes a little bit of sense.

Alternately, you might think about getting a life. Why not make that your New Year's Resolution?

 

[joelcairo]

Looking at that banner doesn't tell the real story. Most of those were won in a league with 4-6 teams total...up 1967 I believe?

Yes Merlot, "only" TEN of the 24 were won after 67. I hope you're not planning on joining a debating team.

 

[Merlot]

Just having some fun my man...I assume the third team you refer to is the Leafs...or as can be said here the Laffs?
How many years now?

Have fun,

Jman

Hello Jman,

Nothing personal. I just see the Canadiens like the Cowboys and Yankees...arrogant and falsely self-entitled. These days it's just perplexing to watch the fans of one team that has won nothing going on 18 years knock another just because they've had nothing for a longer time. A blood rivalry over nothing for almost 18 years...CUTE. Maybe when one team wins something they might actually have a right to brag. Right now it's 0-0 since 1993.

Gee Merlot, since you're the board's #1 stalker, ...

LOL! Let's see, Doc complained about your stalking him for a long time before I had anything to do with the hockey threads. I PMed you twice to ask you to stop stalking him when he was so annoyed he was thinking of leaving this board because of your persistence in stalking him. Then I told you in to PM to go "you-know-what" after two silly PM threats from you. So well after you earned the STALKER label without any help from me, the best move you can make is to...actually...like....uh repeat the same label over and over. The world bows to your cleverness and creativity.

Yes Merlot, "only" TEN of the 24 were won after 67. I hope you're not planning on joining a debating team.

I decided not to respond yesterday, but you need to bring me up again. Well Cairo, since hockey isn't my game, and I was just passing through anyway, I will leave you to your personal agenda obsessions...maybe until the playoffs. But you go ahead and keep mentioning me as long as you wish, though I won't be here. You fool no one but YOU. Now you have MY PERMISSON to keep saying Merlot and stalker over and over...and over... up to 10,000 times...if that's enough...KNOWING HOW OBSESSIVE YOU ARE ANYWAY! But you owe me 10 cents every time you go over 10,000. I'll be a millionaire by May. Have fun chasing your tail.

You're welcome,

Merlot

 

[joelcairo]

I decided not to respond yesterday, but you need to bring me up again. Well Cairo, since hockey isn't my game, and I was just passing through anyway, I will leave you to your personal agenda obsessions...maybe until the playoffs. But you go ahead and keep mentioning me as long as you wish, though I won't be here. You fool no one but YOU. Now you have MY PERMISSON to keep saying Merlot and stalker over and over...and over... up to 10,000 times...if that's enough...KNOWING HOW OBSESSIVE YOU ARE ANYWAY! But you owe me 10 cents every time you go over 10,000. I'll be a millionaire by May. Have fun chasing your tail.

You're welcome,

Merlot

Thanks for your permission. Now, get a life, STALKER.

 

[Merlot]

Thanks for your permission. Now, get a life, STALKER.

Cairo,

After all your whiney, whimpering, crying, "I want my mommy" complaints about me, you had to send another pathetic STALKING PM to me doing exactly what you condemn others for like the pissy little coward you are instead of openly posting here as you insisted. I promised to leave the hockey threads, thus leaving you alone to stalk there as you please..and yet that wasn't enough for you in your obsession. No surprise at all you little creep.

I can't blame you for not wanting to publicize such a sick rant. It would expose you vividly, or rather redundantly as everyone knows exactly what you are. The fact is, you are a sick hypocrite. Get professional help.

REALLY,

Merlot

PS

Stop the PMs unless you have the guts to address them to one of the mods simultaneously. This is not just a request.

 

[joelcairo]

Cairo,

After all your whiney, whimpering, crying, "I want my mommy" complaints about me, you had to send another pathetic STALKING PM to me doing exactly what you condemn others for like the pissy little coward you are instead of openly posting here as you insisted. I promised to leave the hockey threads, thus leaving you alone to stalk there as you please..and yet that wasn't enough for you in your obsession. No surprise at all you little creep.

I can't blame you for not wanting to publicize such a sick rant. It would expose you vividly, or rather redundantly as everyone knows exactly what you are. The fact is, you are a sick hypocrite. Get professional help.

REALLY,

Merlot

PS

Stop the PMs unless you have the guts to address them to one of the mods simultaneously. This is not just a request.

Nice try STALKER, but I've kept all your PMs as evidence. The only PMs I have ever sent to you were in response to ones that you first sent to me.

And as for going public, fine by me: In fact when you first started your STALKING PMs I created a thread called "Message to the Mods and Merlot" announcing what you were doing and challenging you to grow a set of balls and post publicly instead of in your usual cowardly PMs. The next day my thread had vanished so I assume the Mods chose to delete it.

Now, cowardly STALKER, if you don't ever want to hear from me, there's a very simple way to do it: stop sending your pain-in-the-ass PMs and stop following me into threads such as this ( a hockey thread where you have admitted you have extremely little interest in hockey, and Lord knows you have demonstrated that you have virtually no knowledge of it) just to STALK me. Get a life.

Oh and by the way, your professed reason for starting your STALKING (of me, that is, I have no idea why you started stalking your other victims) was to protect Doc. I think Doc's a big enough boy that he doesn't need your feeble attempt at protection, and I doubt that he ever asked you for it. If Doc's unhappy he asks the Mods to do something, and Mod 8 usually does.

Now if you stop your idiotic STALKING you'll NEVER hear from me again, so the ball is in your court, STALKER.

 

[joelcairo]

Tis the season to be jolly...and over in the No Truth Allowed thread, one Leaf-lover is VERY jolly, absolutely THRILLED that his team was able to beat the Devils last night. Well, uh, gee...hate to burst his bubble but the Devils, sadly, are the worst team in the NHL at this point and have lost 9 of their last 10 games. Now I know that ANY win by the Leafs is unexpected but it still seems a bit of a stretch to be ENRAPTURED because a shitty 28th place team beat a shitty 30th place team.

 

[joelcairo]

Best Wishes to the Islanders and Devils



You might wonder why I have titled my post in this manner. Here is the reason:

In the last hours of 2010, the stinking Toronto Maple Leafs sit 28th in a 30 team league.

The stinking Leafs are ahead of only two teams: the Islanders and the Devils.

Consequently I wish a happy and successful New Year to the Long Island and Jersey franchises in the sincere hope that they will start racking up some points and put the miserable stinking Leafs firmly in the cellar where they belong. (Sadly, both the Islanders and Devils are pretty bad, so my hopes might be in vain...but I'm hoping nonetheless!)

 

[joelcairo]

Rookie James Reimer got his first ever start tonight for the Leafs and stoned the sens to the tune of 5-1. Reimer looked calm in the net and for not a silly penalty, that led to a 5 on 3 powerplay, he would likely had a shutout but chalk up a win for the good guys.

Sincere congratulations to the Leafs. Their amazing one game win streak has vaulted them into the dizzying heights of 27th overall in the National Hockey League! Well done boys!


EDIT: Post moved from Official NHL thread. If I had seen this post on the day it was made, you would have received a two day suspension. Take this as a kind warning. The next time you make a similar post in the Official thread, it will result in a suspension.

M8

 

[joelcairo]

Amusing Stats on the Execrable Toronto Maple Leafs

As of today:

The leading Toronto scorer (56th in the league) is little Clarke MacArthur, a Buffalo/Atlanta castoff .

The second-best (61st in the league) is little Mikhail Grabovski, a Montreal castoff.

The third best (84th in the league) is Invisible Man little Phil Kessel, a Boston castoff who has ensured the future of the Bruins by providing them with top draft picks. For the millions of dollars (and the draft picks!) that little Phil is costing the Leafs, he has produced the astounding total of 14 goals and 11 assists, for a paltry 25 points in 38 games - not exactly "merging superstar" numbers! Then again, little Phil's BEST season ever was 60 points, so who the hell is surprised (apart from Brian Burke and a couple of gullible Leaf-lovers!)?

And... two other Leaf "stars":

"Captain" Dion Phaneuf (a Calgary castoff) is 436th in the league with a pathetic one goal and 6 assists, for a grand total of 7 pitiful points in 22 games. Yeah, he's a defenceman, but guess what? So is the great Nick Lidstrom, who at 40 years of age is still way better than Phaneuf! "Captain" Dion, by the way, is a minus five.

Ranger Castoff Colton Orr: In 38 games this untalented goon has 2 goals and ZERO assists to go along with his 97 penalty minutes. He's
589th in league scoring - somehow I don't think Crosby is worried about being caught! And let's not forget that ONE of Orr's measly two goals was the result of unbelievably poor officiating when against the Panthers Orr should have received a penalty for blatant goaltender interference and was instead awarded a goal (!!!) by the incompetent officials, who by so doing stole a game from Florida and gave Toronto one of its rare wins.