The "Real Girlfriend Experience"
- Thread starter malboro_man
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Time to cut bait while you still can. Hopefully she still has some tread left on her tires. I was in a similar situation and wound up continuing with a platonic friendship while providing an occasional meal. She eventually got back on the open market.
Maybe a little bit of tread left before the tires need to be replaced...not a whole lot though
The closest the SP ever got was what gym I was a membership in and from there she knew the area where I lived but not the exact place. And it was just one SP because she just became a friend and sort of an adviser when I was living in Montreal. Plus I stop paying her and sex was gone as I lost interest in her sexually.
marlboro_man, you certainly went above the call of duty on this one.
marlboro_man, you certainly went above the call of duty on this one.
Thanks for the links, Numerati
I love the movie "Heat" BTW and the famous line: "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."GL but yea Numerati and Kenny Rogers are spot on ,,, just can’t make a winning hand with a joker
And that’s just a great scene ,one of DeNiro’s best lines ever in a movie IMO ,,, ironic that he is the one that ends up dismissing his own advice haha . Great movie all around and how it never won any Oscars is beyond me , Hollywood politics is just BS
And that’s just a great scene ,one of DeNiro’s best lines ever in a movie IMO ,,, ironic that he is the one that ends up dismissing his own advice haha . Great movie all around and how it never won any Oscars is beyond me , Hollywood politics is just BS
I took a SP off the market and myself too for two years a while ago. Thinking about it, I don't think it is a good idea. I wouldn't this time around. Just accept what she is and what she does. Having said that, I wouldn't get attached. Her shortcomings are not your problem. Don't fall in the trap of staying with someone out of pity, you'll be making two people miserable.
Thank you for the advice. Hope at least part of your time was enjoyable. With COV-SARS-II, it's not a good time for hobbyist and the ladies. For my lady, if she goes back to work, it'll be reduced income. For me, as a hobbyist, my bank account will grow.
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I can say that I have learned from my past mistakes and from stories that I often hear.
- you shouldn't ask a girl to quit
- its not a fuck buffet, its a real relationship
- relationship: there will be struggles because the guy AND the girl have some sort of relationship disorder
- monetary and emotional support
- you cannot "save a girl" if she doesn't want to be saved.
- guy's or girl's ego is too inflated, you need to re-evaluate the relationship.
- being okay with each other's past.
at least these are the things that I've picked up.
I do hear success stories, but not often.
I currently have taken a girl off the market, and I can tell you honestly its not from any special attribute that I have. I just invested myself in this relationship over 3 years. I respected the things that I had learned. Over time it evolved it something that suited me. Its just "committed fwb". I think the secret is to not have too many expectations. She still likes to party which is fine, as I don't make it my responsibility to worry. Overtime she realized she had to get her act together, so life taught her she couldn't party hard and get to work on time and be productive. She has a legit job now and its cute to see her struggle with newbie office problems, like "people don't seem to like to talk at work, they're so focused on their jobs!". If it were to become a real relationship, I would have to see how we both mature. I am not seeking it, so I think that is why its working out :/
so to answer OP's question, I would say, do what ultimately makes you happy. I know some guys take pleasure in taking care of someone or having the feeling of being needed. If you feel like the support is too much to bare, then don't waste each other's time. Everyone grows a little bit after a "breakup".
good luck
- you shouldn't ask a girl to quit
- its not a fuck buffet, its a real relationship
- relationship: there will be struggles because the guy AND the girl have some sort of relationship disorder
- monetary and emotional support
- you cannot "save a girl" if she doesn't want to be saved.
- guy's or girl's ego is too inflated, you need to re-evaluate the relationship.
- being okay with each other's past.
at least these are the things that I've picked up.
I do hear success stories, but not often.
I currently have taken a girl off the market, and I can tell you honestly its not from any special attribute that I have. I just invested myself in this relationship over 3 years. I respected the things that I had learned. Over time it evolved it something that suited me. Its just "committed fwb". I think the secret is to not have too many expectations. She still likes to party which is fine, as I don't make it my responsibility to worry. Overtime she realized she had to get her act together, so life taught her she couldn't party hard and get to work on time and be productive. She has a legit job now and its cute to see her struggle with newbie office problems, like "people don't seem to like to talk at work, they're so focused on their jobs!". If it were to become a real relationship, I would have to see how we both mature. I am not seeking it, so I think that is why its working out :/
so to answer OP's question, I would say, do what ultimately makes you happy. I know some guys take pleasure in taking care of someone or having the feeling of being needed. If you feel like the support is too much to bare, then don't waste each other's time. Everyone grows a little bit after a "breakup".
good luck
Thank you for sharing....out of my own stupidity, I helped her with her rent money for this month. You know, it's not safe to "work" right now. She looks to be in bad shape. I don't know if anyone wants to pay for her. I wasn't really sure of paying her rent money either but she looks so pitiful. Call me stupid.
You know I read through this thread and here is my 2 cents...
1. If you decide to pursue an SP beyond the simple transactional act, and decide that you want a relationship (whatever that means to you and her), have a clear discussion on what you’re expectations are.
2. Once you cross that threshold, stop looking at her as just an SP, she’s a human being too. She has emotions and at the end of the day, probably just wants someone to be understanding and supportive.
3. Walk in with your eyes open - you are not there to save her.
4. But if you go down that road, be respectful and don’t give up or ghost someone just because all of a sudden they have issues... we all do.
5. If the issues are significant, try to be a friend in addition to just being a boyfriend or client. If she need help, and is willing to get it, be supportive, if she’s not ready, be patient or make a choice about what is best for you in that moment... cuz you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to get help.
6. Don’t be selfish, but don’t be a victim either.
1. If you decide to pursue an SP beyond the simple transactional act, and decide that you want a relationship (whatever that means to you and her), have a clear discussion on what you’re expectations are.
2. Once you cross that threshold, stop looking at her as just an SP, she’s a human being too. She has emotions and at the end of the day, probably just wants someone to be understanding and supportive.
3. Walk in with your eyes open - you are not there to save her.
4. But if you go down that road, be respectful and don’t give up or ghost someone just because all of a sudden they have issues... we all do.
5. If the issues are significant, try to be a friend in addition to just being a boyfriend or client. If she need help, and is willing to get it, be supportive, if she’s not ready, be patient or make a choice about what is best for you in that moment... cuz you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to get help.
6. Don’t be selfish, but don’t be a victim either.
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