The ugly UGLY side of this business!

[General Gonad]

Addiction & recovery

Actually General, I'm not sure hobbying is less dangerous an addiction. An addiction to hobbying-or sex-is more insidious.

btyger,

Addiction to sex might be more insidious but it is far less dangerous to your body than substance abuse. I found this interesting sermon that I wanted to share with all of you here. I am not religious but it is an excellent sermon:

http://www.trumbore.org/sam/sermons/s3b2.htm

I am also going to explore the issue of addiction to sex in an upcoming thread.

GG

 

[incognito_NYC]

... Hmmmmm ... Interesting Thread .....

As usual, the discussion out here has gotten me intrigued ...

***First of all ... We are all here for a reason ... both clients & SP's. :

- No one should ever objectify their usage of an SP as being better than someone else's.

- But personally ... I think mine is a positive one.

- Is it an addiction? Everything in life that feels pleasurable has the potential to become an addiction. Donuts? Homer Simpson? The local cop you know? You get the idea.

- Why is my perspective positive? .... (extremely long, but good, story) ....

- Why should he ( Bryson ) feel compelled to help a woman he doesn't know?????

Now here's a concept .... Social Responsibility!!!!!



>>>I have personally been in many similar, and equally bizarre, (although too strange to detail here) situations.

>>>Somehow I have always found the wisdom, humor, and strength to see the way to change something bad into something good. (That's what alchemists do I suppose.)

So what would I do in this situation? ... in retrospect I would just have to say that I would call 911 ...but it's understandable why someone young / inexperienced would panic. "I don't wanna get blamed for somethin' I didn't do!!!"

^^^^^OK - Theres' been alot of back&forth here about who is "addicted" to hobbying and why ... here's my take :

*If you don't "use" her, she is not "using" you - it's a mutual arrangement ...

*To some guys it serves a positive purpose ... It's not just : "I ain't got a girlfriend and I need to get laid" ...

*It sounds to me like some out here (Dudemtl) look at it like 'hobbying' is some sort of medal of machismo that "I can f*ck a girl anytime I want" .... I don't think that's the point.

So, the reason that I choose to meet with an SP is because I would like to enjoy her company. Intimacy follows. Kind of like a date - what a concept!

If you look at it like : "You owe me" : then of course a girl will not be comfortable with you. It sounds to me like you and your experiences are not as wonderful as mine. Sorry to hear that.

You will not personally enjoy a woman's company if she is an SP because she's offering something other than physical release. Maybe that's more than you can handle. She will actually communicate with you as a person. Once again that is something that I find important yet some men find elusive.

So, if all you want to do is to get your rocks off, you should do these women a favor and restrict your hobbying to blow-up dolls because you would be doing them a favor ... but that's just my personal opinion ...

...but I digress.....

I think 'Bryson' is trying to do the right thing - He cares about the problem at hand, a woman in need of help (medical or otherwise) ..... yet some people, for whatever reason, are trying to put him down?!?!? ...

.....Pourquoi?!?!?!

- "Ich befurchte keine Ubel ... das Ubel furcht mir! " -

(those who would like a translation please feel free to contact me personally)

 

[dudemtl]

*It sounds to me like some out here (Dudemtl) look at it like 'hobbying' is some sort of medal of machismo that "I can f*ck a girl anytime I want" .... I don't think that's the point.

Nope. Read it again.
It's a status level if you're getting laid and not PAYING anything for it.

 

[incognito_NYC]

Hey "Dude", Lightnen up,Francis!!!

... that's a joke from a movie so try not to let your ego get in the way of a good laugh ...

The point that I'm trying to make is .... getting laid (is - or should not be) your objective. Why???

I have always found that if you want to pretend you are interested in a woman then she might pretend to be interested in you, also. And then you get laid. What's the point?

You wake up hung-over and not even sure if you'd want to see her again after breakfast!

This thought, to me,is deplorable!!!

And this is a "score" to you? This is preferable to seeing an SP?

The fact that you see it, as such, is a rather sad statement.

Perhaps the entire reason I entertain the services of an SP is entirely different than yours....

When I schedule an appointment to see an SP it is because she is someone I would love to wake up with ... not just a "temporary fix".

Regardless of the situation in which we meet, my impression of a woman is not based upon what she might happen to do for a living.

This is NOT a viewpoint that you EVER want to discuss with me.

I have seen far to many women I've been close to have their lives taken away by what guys have done to them. Any digression from this viewpoint can and will only result in great bodily harm on the part of the digressor and the imprisonment of this author. No effin' joke.


Personally, I would never consider picking up a woman that I was not interested in seeing again. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I just have morals.

But ya know what? I sleep well at night. And the women I know I can
use as personal references because I don't do things I'll regret later. Hmmm...

 

[dudemtl]

The point that I'm trying to make is .... getting laid (is - or should not be) your objective. Why???

Evolution: Survival and replication. If it wasn't our objective our speicies wouldn't survive. Next.

I have always found that if you want to pretend you are interested in a woman then she might pretend to be interested in you, also. And then you get laid. What's the point?

Because getting laid is fun. You really wanna argue that?

You wake up hung-over and not even sure if you'd want to see her again after breakfast!

Uhm. No. I pick F-Buddies so I can be with them for awhile. I don't go for quick scores. Those are for people you know for less than four hours.

This thought, to me,is deplorable!!!

Well, that, to me, is a very judgmental way of viewing things. Are you always this angry?

And this is a "score" to you? This is preferable to seeing an SP?

Yup. I attracted the girl. I was succesful in attracting a sexual being by being myself. Not by opening up my wallet.

The fact that you see it, as such, is a rather sad statement.

Well, now you're just generalizing.

Perhaps the entire reason I entertain the services of an SP is entirely different than yours....

Yup. Seeing as I've NEVER SEEN ONE.

When I schedule an appointment to see an SP it is because she is someone I would love to wake up with ... not just a "temporary fix".

Well, then I hate to tell you.... they're banging other people other evenings and mornings. Do you have THAT little self respect, that you would be okay with that? Is that REALLY who you want to wake up with? Please.

Regardless of the situation in which we meet, my impression of a woman is not based upon what she might happen to do for a living.

Well, then if you find a garbage lady just as attractive as a model, then all the more power to you.

This is NOT a viewpoint that you EVER want to discuss with me.

oooh. Scary man make angry.

I have seen far to many women I've been close to have their lives taken away by what guys have done to them.

Yeah, and how many of them said 'let's just be friends' ?

Any digression from this viewpoint can and will only result in great bodily harm on the part of the digressor and the imprisonment of this author. No effin' joke.

Well that's a threat. Welcome to Canada, we don't do that here. And yes, you're going to get a warning.

Personally, I would never consider picking up a woman that I was not interested in seeing again. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I just have morals.

Maybe because you can't.

How many have you laid in the last year without paying? Wait. Actually I probably don't want to know.

But ya know what? I sleep well at night. And the women I know I can
use as personal references because I don't do things I'll regret later. Hmmm...

personal references... like on your resume? You must have TONS of degrees.



Wow... are you always this aggressive?

 

[dudemtl]

Dudemtl, according to your posts, the following are true:

You're not an escort or an agency owner

You've never hired an escort

You never plan on hiring an escort

You look down on those of us who have and do

Logically, I have to wonder why you're here on an escort review board. Are you here just to put down the rest of us and pass your judgment? If so, you're wasting your time.

Okay, either I wasn't CLEAR enough, or you just didn't get it. So, I will have to explain this to you, so that you can understand.

To answer your question : no. I am not here to 'put down' other people. I have met regularly with many regulars on this board for drinks. This has happend several times over the last 5-6months. Clear?

My PROBLEM is when people who clearly are suffering from an ADDICTION and not facing up to REALITY either put down OTHER peoples' addictions --which I have made clear that I have one that I battle -- or say that their OWN addictions are 'not a problem'.

Capiche?

Love

Dudemtl

 

[Nugie]

Dude,

The way I've read things (and correct me if I'm wrong), there's a presumption, based upon your previous thread, that the overwhelming majority of those who hobby are addicted to it. Furthermore, those who are addicts should not criticize other addicts.

There are two primary pillars to this argument: 1) That the chances are, if you hobby, you're an addict and 2) All addictions are morally equivalent.

I'd have to counter that there are addictions that are more destructive than others. While the compulsion to behavior may be the same, the difference is the level of harm caused by one versus the other.

It's well known that some addicts break a habit only by replacing it with another compulsion. So long as the "new" habit is less destructive then the "old" habit, I say go for it. If you need to replace an addiction to playing russian roulette with chain smoking, I say you're still ahead (albeit only slightly).

The basic premise of your argument rests upon the notion that all compulsive behaviors are equal, and that all who are compelled are equal. I disagree.

As an extreme example: an uncontrollable compulsion for homicide and cannibalism is more socially destructive then an uncontrollable compulsion for making sure you always have cans of pepsi in pairs (a la Beckham).

I can certainly understand a call for SYMPATHY from one addict to another. But to totally reject critical discourse is short sighted.

 

[General Gonad]

I can certainly understand a call for SYMPATHY from one addict to another. But to totally reject critical discourse is short sighted.

Very well put Nugie - your post echoes my thoughts.

GG

 

[Just-ass-weet]

karma - I think mr dude thinks that we sit on the bed all day, and bang guy after guy, morning until night. Do what I did, and just put this guy on your ignore list - he obviously has no respect for the gents here, and even less for women (and not just SPs), I just could not stand to read another post with his droning on and on about how he bangs this girl and that girl - geez - okay guy - your a super hero... get over yourself!

xoxox
Anik

Banging other people euh ?
Do you have any ideas of what you're talking about ?
Think twice.

 

[incognito_NYC]

I'm back!!!!!

OK - I'm going to try and make nice now. Sometimes I get a little riled up and I tend to ruffle some feathers but that's what happens when you speak your mind. I'm in a good mood today so ...

Dudemtl ... I owe you an apology. That post may have come across as a bit too much of a personal attack. At the time I was still pissed about something that I was dealing with from Saturday night and it obviously carried over into my response.

I spent a couple of hours Saturday night listening to a pretty F'ed-up story from a woman I know. She's a bit freaked out at the moment and also needed to borrow my shower. She's currently living in the basement at the club where she works as a dancer because she's too afraid to go back to her boyfriends house where she lives. It seems a few days ago his usual tirades of verbal abuse weren't enough so he ripped out a chunk of her hair.

It's just one of those things that makes me crazy.

And her's is just one of many all to familiar stories I've heard. So that's the reason it pushes me off the deep end when I get the feeling that any guy treats women disrespectfully.

So I'm sorry if you were the target of some of my misanthropic venting the other night.

But I do have to say this ... there really is alot more that men & women can do together than swapping bodily fluids. Yes, sex is a biologically driven need but there can be a whole lot more to it than that.

It's strange but true ... alot of people, men & women, actually use sex to avoid being intimate with each other. And that's a shame ... it doesn't have to be like that. Too many people don't even know what they're missing.

It wouldn't hurt, maybe, to check out an SP some time and have her rock your world ... you can go a long way on a one-hour vacation.

So I extend the peace pipe --- what's in the bowl?
Well - just use your imagination.

 

[General Gonad]

karma - I think mr dude thinks that we sit on the bed all day, and bang guy after guy, morning until night.
xoxox
Anik

What? Isn't that you're raison d'etre?

>>Dude,

I must admit you have a twisted view of SPs and perhaps women in general. Who cares who they have slept with? When I meet an SP, I do not ask her how many guys you've been with? How big were they? Were they better lovers than me? I couldn't give a damn. I treat them with respect and I expect the same.

It seems to me like you have some deep insecurities trying to prove to us that you can get laid without paying for it. News flash: So can I and if you saw my wife you'd think she can easily work at Eleganza! What is your point by repeatedly stating that you don't have to pay for it? Who cares?

Why do you have such a low image of SPs and clients that you indiscriminately label as addicts? It's borderline pathological.

GG

 

[Nugie]

if you saw my wife you'd think she can easily work at Eleganza!

Yeah, but those girls are f'n pigs, what with their lovely boobs and beautiful asses. Your wife must be absolutely heinous.

 

[General Gonad]

Yeah, but those girls are f'n pigs, what with their lovely boobs and beautiful asses. Your wife must be absolutely heinous.

LOL!! Yeah, especially that Emely, she's a real pig!

...one day, one day,....

GG

 

[Nugie]

GG,

I've posted elsewhere that there are reasons I'm uncomfortable discussing details about my personal life. But, I'll say this:

I have an absolutely gorgeous, brilliant wife. She's been described as a cross between Cate Blanchett and Audrey Hepburn. I totally don't deserve her. Better still, she's a PhD who earns big bucks and spends lots of time chasing off would-be suitors by conveniently bringing up her hubby's government credentials, his happy trigger finger, and how much he loves to abuse his power. I love her dearly and our intimate lives together are absolutely fantastic. Given a choice between an evening with her or an evening with an SP, the SP loses every time, hands down.

So... why?

Because I think I can't get caught. Because the reality is that my wife is so smart I know that I WILL get caught. Because the thrill of maybe getting caught is kind of fun.

And it's not like I've done this in my own backyard. Ok, time to fess up: Twice, ever. Both times during bachelor parties to Montreal. I'm not even a strip club fan in my local area.

Part of it is the thought of how naughty I'm being. Part of it is a total regression to when I was a whore in college and slept with anything that was breathing and didn't have a penis.

But, yes, part of it is definitely because the sex was fun. Note: "fun", as in, enjoyable. Not "fun", as in, my own code word for "behavior so overwhelming as to be compulsive and compelling".

Would I consider myself a "hobbyist"? Not really, no. I think of myself more as being someone who got away with a crime and now has a real secret in the life I lead governed by secrets. But this board is kind of fun, so I stuck around.

Even though I went on a rant about drug addiction in an earlier post, I also stated that there are those that will never become addicts. There are millions out there that tried crack once or twice and then walked away from it forever.

Dudemtl... if you can accept the reality of THAT fact, why can't you accept that there are people on this board that aren't addicted to hobbying?

 

[General Gonad]

Wife swap?

I have an absolutely gorgeous, brilliant wife. She's been described as a cross between Cate Blanchett and Audrey Hepburn. I totally don't deserve her. Better still, she's a PhD who earns big bucks and spends lots of time chasing off would-be suitors by conveniently bringing up her hubby's government credentials, his happy trigger finger, and how much he loves to abuse his power.

Nugie,

Can I suggest we swap wives for a night...or two...or three?

GG

P.S. I can guarantee you that neither one of us will be disappointed!

 

[Nugie]

GG,

You remind me of an old Chris Rock sketch (I may be paraphrasing):

"Old Pussy reminds you of your mother's birthday and buys her a present FOR you.

New Pussy... is NEW.

Old Pussy come over and does your laundry for you when you're sick.

New Pussy... is NEW."

Oh, and to answer your question... I'm sure I WOULDN'T be disappointed. But, then again, I'm afraid my wife wouldn't be disappointed, either....

 

[General Gonad]

GG,

You remind me of an old Chris Rock sketch (I may be paraphrasing):

"Old Pussy reminds you of your mother's birthday and buys her a present FOR you.

New Pussy... is NEW.

Old Pussy come over and does your laundry for you when you're sick.

New Pussy... is NEW."

Great, so when do we meet to swap our OLD pussy for some NEW pussy?

 

[General Gonad]

On starting a relationship with an SP

To answer GG's question about dating SPs. The reason I would never date SPs rests soley on my own personal experience. Sure I used to originally fall in love with every SP I met but more often than not it just led to complications. Not only does your relationship start out as a lie(gotta lie to your friends/family about how you met and what she does for a living) but most women in the biz are master manipulators and come with their fair share of baggage.

Bryson,

SPs do not come with more baggage than 'regular' women - trust me on this. Does a relationship with an SP really start off with lies? Again, there I have to disagree. Most clients and SPs are brutally honest during a session, especially if they have an affinity to each other. It's this refreshing honesty that attracts many of us to SPs. There is no facade or bullshit: "This is what I think, deal with it honey."

As far as lying to others, who cares? The important thing is that you know how you both feel about each other. Your claim that most SPs are "master manipulators," is also a popular myth. In fact, sometimes I feel like I can easily manipulate the best of them. But I don't because I get nothing out of doing this. I prefer to be sincere and exchange honest views on life. In fact, it's kind of sad that I feel I can open up more to a perfect stranger than I can with my wife but it's the truth.

Many have stated that you pay an SP to leave. But ask yourself, why do you pay to see her again? What if you felt a deeper connection? Don't you owe it to yourself to pursue your inner feelings? What if you're rejected? So what? Just let her know how you feel. This fear of rejection is often irrational fear that inhibits you from discovering someone who might have tremendous qualities. Try being brutally honest with her and risk falling in love. You never know, it might be well worth it.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

The "thrill" of almost getting caught

So... why?

Because I think I can't get caught. Because the reality is that my wife is so smart I know that I WILL get caught. Because the thrill of maybe getting caught is kind of fun.

Nugie,

I was thinking about this last night in bed. My wife doesn't have a PhD but she is one smart and very perceptive woman. Sometimes I feel like she knows but is unwilling or unable to confront me. Maybe she just accepts it or chooses to ignore it. Who knows?

But there is this element of risk taking that in and of itself is part of the fun. I am not talking about stupid risks like bare back FS, but we like to push the enveloppe a little further every time. This is dangerous because you become complacent and with one false move, you risk jeopordizing your relationship.

GG

 

[General Gonad]

What if?

On the other hand, my more cynical and cautious side warns that she is likely telling me what she thinks I want to hear in order to keep me coming back.

btyger,

Why not just ask her how she would feel starting an exclusive relationship with you? You might not like the answer but at least she'll know how you feel about her. Discuss you fears, your concerns and you might be surprised to hear that she shares some of them.

Look, I am not saying everybody here should be looking to fall in love with an SP. Far from it. But if you think it can happen, then have the guts to GO FOR IT! I see too many men with no balls because they fear rejection.

Ladies and gentlemen, embrace rejection, because if you don't, you'll risk having one boring and uninspiring life!

GG