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Merlot

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Lilly Lombard said:
Because even when they have it that good, men are not happy. They get bored... Yep, bored! If it's not about the amount of positions, games, toys and different things we can come up to, it becomes about always having sex with the same woman. After a few years, the same ass, the same pussy, the same breasts etc.... it's boring!

Well Lilly,

Such men could never be happy with one woman or keeping a commitment to any one woman despite the openness of such an exotic lifestyle. Isn't such openness inherently devoid of real caring on a true pair-bonding level? In my view, in such a situation as the liberal sexual lifestyle you describe every woman and man becomes tantamount to a tool that helps these achieve self-gratification. I wonder if any affection these men may feel for a woman is little more than that they feel for a a more sophisticated toy. Can anyone really and truly love and care someone else they so easily share with others? Possessiveness isn't real love and affection and on the opposite side I don't think anyone can truly love and care those they are willing to share or be shared so openly. Really caring and love must have some bonding attachment that comes with inherent limits on total openness of the sort you described sexually. Otherwise it seems to be nothing more than hedonistic use of one another.

truly,

Merlot
 
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Lilly Lombard

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Jan 7, 2007
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Merlot said:
Can anyone really and truly love and care someone else they so easily share with others? Possessiveness isn't real love and affection and on the opposite side I don't think anyone can truly love and care those they are willing to share or be shared so openly.

In all honesty, I never felt anything but love for the men who I shared that part of my life with, I cared maybe too much given the situation. I am only assuming it wasn't shared, or it wasn't honest on their part.

What I personaly believe is that love and sex are two different things, but when you have both together it's the most amazing combination. When we would be in the swigning lifestyle, all our experiences were done together in the same room and we would get pleasure by seeing each other having pleasure and come back home to have the most passionate sex a couple can have...

The problems came when Mister decided he wanted those experiences by himself with other people and keep me out of the equation.

I guess I figured love, sex and men all wrong but what I know now is it's much simpler and fun being single. :)
 

CocaCola

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Im Jealous. My Winnie Cooper rebuffed me, and everything else since then has paled in comparison. Good luck to you. If you recommit yourself to honoring her, I hope she appreciates it.
 

Koenig

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Lilly Lombard said:
It wasn't meant as a proposition (as I can only be that way with someone I am in love with...) but only to show you that the opposite also exists (ie : you being deceived by your prude wife / men getting bored with a sexual woman).

Rereading myself just now I realized I came across as one, it wasn't a proposition either. Just stating facts.

I'm not sure what will happen, things are better since last week-end but we've had ups and downs for months now so it's a toss up. For now I have no expectations either way. Only hopes.
 

Merlot

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Lilly Lombard said:
What I personaly believe is that love and sex are two different things, but when you have both together it's the most amazing combination. When we would be in the swigning lifestyle, all our experiences were done together in the same room and we would get pleasure by seeing each other having pleasure and come back home to have the most passionate sex a couple can have...

The problems came when Mister decided he wanted those experiences by himself with other people and keep me out of the equation.

I guess I figured love, sex and men all wrong but what I know now is it's much simpler and fun being single. :)

Hello Lilly,

Yes, what could be better than having both together.

Your view of "openness" seems to have come with a firm boundary that meant you were always to be included. Well, everyone is entitled to search for what they want, but I think your parameters are virtually impossible to maintain. As we both know, there is a certain intoxication in this lifestyle that goes in directions that are unpredictable, hard to control, and often excessive. Even one person could find a significant other who shared the kind of openness you wish the is always the intoxication of that life to tempt and test the human libido...male or female. Then the nature of openness itself, in my view, belies the existence of boundaries and encourages individual action without accountability to anyone regardless of bonds or rules. How can there be limits or boundaries on openness.

I am not sure I would blame it on the guy here. I don't know if he was dedicated at the start or just saw an opportunity to enjoy himself. But overall, I don't think bonds of loyalty or boundaries can survive in this lifestyle for very long. :(

Regards,

Merlot
 

Lilly Lombard

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Merlot said:
I am not sure I would blame it on the guy here. I don't know if he was dedicated at the start or just saw an opportunity to enjoy himself. But overall, I don't think bonds of loyalty or boundaries can survive in this lifestyle for very long. :(

I think if the partners have been together for many years and they are already dedicated to each other, it is possible to just use it to spice up a sex life, either by participating or by only being a voyeur or an exhibitionist. Abusing of it would definitely kill the couple. I think in my case, we definitely abused of it and surely started too early in our relationship...

It was fun for the time it last. I guess the next Mr. Lombard will not benefit the use of swigners clubs before quite a few years. :D Since all my fantasies have been fulfilled, I only go there once in a while to wear sexy outfits or lingerie in public but never to play anymore.

***************************

Koening,

I wish you good luck, obviously, you seem to love your wife more than many man if you are still able of patience and hope. That is a great quality. Your wife should realise that she's lucky. ;)

Thanks for sharing your story.
 
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gambler

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Nov 1, 2007
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Its the Human condition ie: dissatisfaction we all have it deep down the sooner you learn to egnore it the more content you will be.

But it don't pay the bills!!

BTW love comes from detachment: Just ask any guy sitting cross legged on a mountain top.
Relationships are tough. Good Luck
 

Cliff Nobles

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Koenig said:
Also, anal sex is not something that ever interested me. I don't even like watching it on porn.


Few times i had anal sex it turned me way off when i realized there was bits of shit on my dick. Made me re-think the whole concept....
 

Cliff Nobles

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Lilly Lombard said:
More women will prefer a man who is strong, who has a stronger caracter then them, who stands up for himself, who is in charge (not in a dominant way, just in a way that makes her feel secure), a man who will say what he wants and be confident in what he wants. Say it like you mean it.


That's what i did with my ex girlfriend.
I told her every little details i liked. Grab my balls like this, go deep, squeeze a bit.....

But your right Lombard, i still got bored after a while.....

Strange thing to me is, why is sex, relationships, love, affection and all that stuff is so complex.

I think love is dynamic compared to static. It something that lives and varies every time. Like the universe still expanding.

Love fools us by making us believe it's like mathematics: 10+5 = 15 right?

------mmmmm.....not really.

In the situation of Koenig just by reading all the answers he got from this thread you can easily understand that the equation to the solution of his problem is far more complex than 10+5 = 15

Would be more like abstract algebra.

An example of abstract algebra would be:

Let's say you're married with a girl for 10 years but suddenly she decides she wants to be transformed into a man and after a while you find out it's your sister!

I guess now we fall in what we call Probability Theory category.

Ok bye bye!
 
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jimmy.the.great

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Aug 6, 2007
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she is cheating

i can say 90% that she is doing it with someone, who is getting all kind of things out of her ...
i can't believe you can't see it
put someone to her ass ...i bet you she is ...
 
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