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What's the point of Fetish providers stating "No Sex"??

lady_lover

Member
Feb 16, 2011
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You know, for people. who enjoy Kinky activities, it's really hard to find a "complete" solution. Yes, there are the Unicorn Healers, who do ,finally , provide such a service. But seriously, there are many BDSM, Kinky providers that advertise "NO SEX". What the heck, what's the point? Seriously? Other than the Unicorns I have never seen such a provider in Montreal. Why do they even exist???
 

lady_lover

Member
Feb 16, 2011
129
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So let's expand on this a bit. I saw a message today about a provider that gives kinky BDSM service but no sex. What is the point?
I had a girlfriend a number of years back, who was very submissive. She would love it it I spanked her hard, Tied her to the bed posts, peed on her...but if I didn't f*ck her brains out while she was tied up, she would have been totally pissed. So what's the point of kinky providers where they do all the kinky stuff but then have no interest in sex? How boring for the recipient! Are they really enjoying what they are doing? Or is it just a money grab and couldn't care less about the sexual nature of the kink?
I don't get it.
 

Kinky Cinderella

Fantasy Fulfilling Minx
May 24, 2012
476
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I did....and "My angel smile" does is as well...

The main approach in BDSM is supposed to be spiritual, not sexual...

European BDSM is as therapeutic as hypnosis when the client is completly Under someone's authority..Masters/Mistresses have their own saloons/clinics in order to achieve their jobs..

As a former Pro-Dom, I can tell you the quality of subs between mines while I was Pro-Domme and a Dominatrixe's providing BJ was impressive...

I could explain with more détails but tomorrow...bedtime now lol
 

lady_lover

Member
Feb 16, 2011
129
0
16
Yes, spiritual was the word, the intensity and passion that went with our kinkyness transended so many of the usual norms. Is BDSM spiritual? Maybe for some, but it was utter passion and fun with lots of sex for me. I just don't see the point other wise. I could go to church if I want spiritualism.
As to Europe, that was the only place I ever saw true BDSm and kinkyness with unbridled sex, but only in one place and at a very high price.
It's just completely rare, and so far only with one agency that I know of...
 

Julia Sky

Supporting Member
Oct 29, 2016
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BDSM's main purpose is not purely sex... Also there is a huge difference between a female sub and a male sub, trust me, it's not the same. I think you really need to work on your understanding of BDSM if you think it's weird that a dominatrix doesn't offer sex lol.... You ask ''whats the point ? How boring for the recipient!'' and I read ''I'm a perv and don't quite understand what most male subs enjoy and what a dominatrix is''.... Most doms would be like ''She has sex with her subs ? What's the point ?'' because once again... Male subs are not the same as female subs. Not at all...
 

jalimon

I am addicted member
Dec 28, 2015
6,251
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Perhaps also we need to take into account that as we age sex becomes less important? I mean for many different reason that could go from simple lack of hardness to erectile dysfunction or simply sex boredom.. many want to go further into sexual activities with only their mind? After all pure sex, with BDSM or not is in your brain. Online porn would never be so popular if it was not.

I know next to nothing about BDSM or Fetish provider with no sex. But l am no judging it negatively at all. I am only starting to get some curiosity out of it and may be interested in it one day. But not now as I am still having a blast in my non gfe bing bang boum sex session ;)

Cheers,
 

Halloween Mike

Original Dude
Apr 19, 2009
5,235
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I will admit i had trouble to understood the male sub thing. You see this often in TV, movies, and in porn and everytime i wondered why those peoples actually PAY to receive this. Maybe its because its not in my nature ... Then somebody explained to me most of the time those peoples are peoples in charge in real life, in position of autority etc so they enjoy somehow doing the reverse thing. Its probably just not that but thats one of the reasons i heard.

It happen to most people to joke about this sometimes, like how much should you need to be paid to do "xxx dirty thing" or stuff like that. In my case i would need to be paid a lot to be a sub... I don't mind a lady in charge in term of sex, like somebody who is confident and lead the action, in my early years i actually tough it was easier this way, i was shy and had trouble expressing what i wanted so when she was the one leading i just had to enjoy the ride. But this is much different as in its just sex...

But in any case i am too beginner to the concept of dom/sub to really be able to give a clear opinion in this subject.

I will admit dominant male scenes in porn really turn me on. There is a couple scenes in particular that i watched several time. Jordan As with Madison Ivy in Pornstar Punishment is one of them. Madison is acting like a princess on a porn set and Jordan put her in her place. Scene include some slapping/spitting on face and he really manhandle her but its not overly hard and there is no "hitting with objects" or anything. I am not a fan of the "violent" side of BDSM, as in hitting somebody with a baton or such, its not something i would do. But i do love the concept of being a dominant guy sexually. But it took me like 4 meetings to finally be able to be decent at it once(i think i was lol) because i clearly lack confidence and obviously i don't want her to think negatively of me. I always have this fear that she will not enjoy it cause i know i wouldn't... lol

Its kind of hard to explain.

But in any case even as a dom i would not enjoy a session if it didn't involve sex...
 

Kinky Cinderella

Fantasy Fulfilling Minx
May 24, 2012
476
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Montreal
The basis is to understand the pure freedom while letting the lead to someone trustworthy...if you do not get it or can't figure it out...maybe your main occupation or your carreer/job isn't related to authority/contrôle/power...The Dom/Master/Mistress is a Giver..he/she is the sub's puppet...just as Till Lindermann (Rammstein's singer) sums it all within 3 minutes in one of his song I truly enjoy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOX-XFMgJBM

Punish me...punish me
straw shall be gold
and gold shall be stone
your size makes me small
you may be my punisher

The Lord God takes
The Lord God gives

Punish me...punish me
you say "yes"
and I think "no"
lock me in your orders
before the wind gets even colder

Your size makes me small
you may be my punisher
you may be my punisher

Your size makes me small
you may be my punisher
your size makes it small
you shall be my punishment

The Lord God takes
the Lord God gives
but he gives only to that one
that he also loves
So punish me


But you have to realize one thing: at 200$/h pure BDSM without intercourse (or 350$/2h), my subs weren't working in a small cantine and took 8 months before seeing me for an hour...most of them were in a authority position...many were judges....so, to find a kind of "balance"...they needed to pull the plug once in a while and not having any of what will happen next...
 

dolt

New Member
Apr 23, 2009
127
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0
But you have to realize one thing: at 200$/h pure BDSM without intercourse (or 350$/2h), my subs weren't working in a small cantine and took 8 months before seeing me for an hour...most of them were in a authority position...many were judges....so, to find a kind of "balance"...they needed to pull the plug once in a while and not having any of what will happen next...

Which is why a common blue collar schmuck like me can't fathom why in God's name anyone would fork over 2 days pay to have a woman dehumanize the fuck out of them, when I can go outside and encounter a dozen women every day who make me feel like a worthless piece of shit *for free*.

If I open my wallet, I want to be adored, pampered and well fucked.
 

Titilleur

Banned
Jun 14, 2015
710
1
18
L'hiver est fini, mais y a encore des gens qui roulent sur la glace et qui dérapent...

La question n'est pas de savoir si le BDSM doit se faire avec ou sans sexe... La question est: "Batinse, bonhomme, tu comprends pas que tous les goûts sont dans la nature?"

Si certaines personnes aiment le BDSM sans sexe, c'est leur choix... Si d'autres veulent du sexe dans le BDSM, c'est aussi leur choix... Alors, si certaines personnes/organisations offrent des séances de BDSM sans sexe, simonac, c'est leur choix. Et si ce choix ne te convient pas, va voir ailleurs! Tu ne peux pas imposer tes choix.

Tu aimes la pizza à croute mince? Ok! Simonac, mange ta pizza à croute mince pis sacre moi la paix. J'aime la pizza "Chicago Style"...

C'est pareil avec le BDSM. C'est pareil avec l'anal...

Tu demandes à une SP si elle accepte le sexe anal... Si elle dit non, vas-tu l'obliger quand même?

Va voir ailleurs, ti-pet!
 

Kinky Cinderella

Fantasy Fulfilling Minx
May 24, 2012
476
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Montreal
:lol: bah sa question, je m'en branlais pas mal puisqu'il la demandais tout en montrant qu'il était dans le champ dès le départ...

Tu parlais de pizza? Bah, remplace le "fetish providers" par "pizzeria" et le résultat des réponses serait sensiblement le même....il se plaint de l'absence de sexualité dans les fetish...alors que les fétichismes, de par la définition officielle est une chose n'ayant aucun attrait érotique (ou que très peu!) éveillant des envies sexuelles....

He just shouldn't try to make sens out of nonsense....
 

Titilleur

Banned
Jun 14, 2015
710
1
18
:lol: bah sa question, je m'en branlais pas mal puisqu'il la demandais tout en montrant qu'il était dans le champ dès le départ...

Tu parlais de pizza? Bah, remplace le "fetish providers" par "pizzeria" et le résultat des réponses serait sensiblement le même....il se plaint de l'absence de sexualité dans les fetish...alors que les fétichismes, de par la définition officielle est une chose n'ayant aucun attrait érotique (ou que très peu!) éveillant des envies sexuelles....

He just shouldn't try to make sens out of nonsense....

Dans le fonds, il est seulement adepte du "fétichisme de sa queue"... :whip:
 

jalimon

I am addicted member
Dec 28, 2015
6,251
166
63
Tu aimes la pizza à croute mince? Ok! Simonac, mange ta pizza à croute mince pis sacre moi la paix. J'aime la pizza "Chicago Style"...

J'aimerais mieux me faire couler de la cire chaude sur les couille en séance BDSM que de manger une deep dish pizza chicago style ;)

Par contre les hot dog de chicago houla que oui!

Cheers,
 

Julia Sky

Supporting Member
Oct 29, 2016
1,927
3,143
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Montreal
J'aimerais mieux me faire couler de la cire chaude sur les couille en séance BDSM


Let's go, je veux voir ça. Hahahaha !!!
 

Kinky Cinderella

Fantasy Fulfilling Minx
May 24, 2012
476
9
18
38
Montreal
Je suis plutôt fétichiste des pogos moi...

titilleur; fetichiste de sa queue!! :lol: ok et la TDS ne devient qu'un "passage obligé" pour pouvoir s'auto-satisfaire? :lol:
 

Titilleur

Banned
Jun 14, 2015
710
1
18
J'aimerais mieux me faire couler de la cire chaude sur les couille en séance BDSM que de manger une deep dish pizza chicago style ;)

Par contre les hot dog de chicago houla que oui!

Cheers,

Connais-tu les hot-dogs Carolina Style?

Honnêtement... C'est comparable et c'est difficile à choisir. Mais là, je parle pour moi... Tsé, tous les goûts sont dans la nature.
 

Titilleur

Banned
Jun 14, 2015
710
1
18
J'aimerais mieux me faire couler de la cire chaude sur les couille en séance BDSM ...

Tandis qu'on est là...

J'ai lu quelque part une maxime pas mal véridique...

Ça disait quelque chose comme: "C'est quand on voit un moustique se poser sur nos couilles qu'on réalise que les problèmes ne se règlent pas tous par la violence". :bolt:
 

Halloween Mike

Original Dude
Apr 19, 2009
5,235
1,466
113
Winterfell
Non ces sur moi et l'autorité sa fait 2... Toujours detesté sa :lol: même dans une job jamais j'aurais accepté de me faire chier dessus, pour sa que l'armée aurais été un big no pour moi. J'imagine ces parce que jeune j'ai été bullied pas mal (avant que je me rende compte qu'un coup de poing fesais bin moin mal que se faire harceler tout les jours pis que j'était pas mauvais du tout pour en donner aussi lol) Bref je me suis promis a mes 15 ans, plus personne me ferais chier dans vie :p Mais je peux comprendre leur trip d'un sense. Sorte de reverse psychology... Et s'ils on l'argent pour se le permettre...

If I open my wallet, I want to be adored, pampered and well fucked.

Haha same for me man :)
 

lady_lover

Member
Feb 16, 2011
129
0
16
L'hiver est fini, mais y a encore des gens qui roulent sur la glace et qui dérapent...

La question n'est pas de savoir si le BDSM doit se faire avec ou sans sexe... La question est: "Batinse, bonhomme, tu comprends pas que tous les goûts sont dans la nature?"

Si certaines personnes aiment le BDSM sans sexe, c'est leur choix... Si d'autres veulent du sexe dans le BDSM, c'est aussi leur choix... Alors, si certaines personnes/organisations offrent des séances de BDSM sans sexe, simonac, c'est leur choix. Et si ce choix ne te convient pas, va voir ailleurs! Tu ne peux pas imposer tes choix.

Tu aimes la pizza à croute mince? Ok! Simonac, mange ta pizza à croute mince pis sacre moi la paix. J'aime la pizza "Chicago Style"...

C'est pareil avec le BDSM. C'est pareil avec l'anal...

Tu demandes à une SP si elle accepte le sexe anal... Si elle dit non, vas-tu l'obliger quand même?

Va voir ailleurs, ti-pet!

That's the whole point. Other than the recent Unicorns, you NEVER see adds for hard core BDSM _with_ sex. I only once saw such an ad in Europe. Here in North America it's one in a 1000 if that! Surely, there must be a market given that it seems it's at least 50/50 here as to what's the point of no sex? That's why I don't get it.
 
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