I woke up and heard an interesting statistic: most breakups occur in the two weeks prior to valentine's day. Is it because men are cheap or afraid to commit?
GG
GG
Why do most breakups occur around valentine's day?
- Thread starter General Gonad
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It could be that when Valentines day pops up on the calendar, that that date makes people take a look at some of the unrealistic expectations one or the other or both parties have about their relationship, timelines, etc.. rather than let the relationship grow, or not, naturally.
Interesting statistic indeed and I generally share Ionman's intuitive explanation.
GG, the way you framed the question was probably intentionnally provocative to stir up a discussion, and that's fine, so to play along I'll say that your "afraid to commit" hypothesis derives from a typically feminine worldview in which commitment is a highly valued behaviour. Refusal to commit, or worse, philandering, is stigmatised in this paradgm as cowardly ("afraid to commit") behaviour. Now if you remove this assumption that women and men are both meant to commit to one another, and that reticence in the face of commitment is a fault, then pre-Valentine day breakups can be viewed as moments of courage, when one partner (could be the woman or the man), peers through the veil of hypocrisy/convenience that shrouds their relationship and musters the guts to stop throwing good time after bad.
GG, the way you framed the question was probably intentionnally provocative to stir up a discussion, and that's fine, so to play along I'll say that your "afraid to commit" hypothesis derives from a typically feminine worldview in which commitment is a highly valued behaviour. Refusal to commit, or worse, philandering, is stigmatised in this paradgm as cowardly ("afraid to commit") behaviour. Now if you remove this assumption that women and men are both meant to commit to one another, and that reticence in the face of commitment is a fault, then pre-Valentine day breakups can be viewed as moments of courage, when one partner (could be the woman or the man), peers through the veil of hypocrisy/convenience that shrouds their relationship and musters the guts to stop throwing good time after bad.
to answer the question
Umm, let's see... because February is the coldest-worst month of the year? Because Valentine's Day makes you realize how incredibly annoyed you are at her because you have to buy her flowers? Her personality grates on your nerves like a cheese grater, and you're the chump that's getting shaved off? Because it feels like pulling your own teeth out and swallowing them just to do that mushy-sappy Valentine's Day romance thing with a girl you can't stand? No wonder most breakups occur around valentine's day. I'll see you at the strip club, and then maybe next week I'll be dating your girl.
Umm, let's see... because February is the coldest-worst month of the year? Because Valentine's Day makes you realize how incredibly annoyed you are at her because you have to buy her flowers? Her personality grates on your nerves like a cheese grater, and you're the chump that's getting shaved off? Because it feels like pulling your own teeth out and swallowing them just to do that mushy-sappy Valentine's Day romance thing with a girl you can't stand? No wonder most breakups occur around valentine's day. I'll see you at the strip club, and then maybe next week I'll be dating your girl.
In some cases its out of spite. Its an almost failsafe way to burn your bridge with a girl you absolutely never want to see again. Harsh, but very effective, especially if you tell her you have a big surprise for her on Valentines day and make her wonder what it is for a week beforehand. Not saying I would do this personally but I knew a guy in college who did this to several girls.
joeblow said:
JoeBlow,
You are absolutely right but this is what the radio commentators were suggesting. HonestAbe, I think you might be on to something...it is coldhearted but then again, is there an easy way to end a relationship?!?!?
joeblow said:Now if you remove this assumption that women and men are both meant to commit to one another, and that reticence in the face of commitment is a fault, then pre-Valentine day breakups can be viewed as moments of courage, when one partner (could be the woman or the man), peers through the veil of hypocrisy/convenience that shrouds their relationship and musters the guts to stop throwing good time after bad.
I love this insight - well done!!!
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