Would you / Could you?

[BigBrowser]

Thank you Sam21, that makes sense as well.
But if you are ready to either let her go or make her unhappy, that means you don't really love her, doesn't it?
But that's a whole other question, what is love?!
Thanks!

 

[ssj3]

Thank you Sam21, that makes sense as well.
But if you are ready to either let her go or make her unhappy, that means you don't really love her, doesn't it?
But that's a whole other question, what is love?!
Thanks!

Equating happiness and love doesn’t work. Just because you do something that causes someone to be “unhappy” doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

 

[BigBrowser]

Yes indeed, we all have different definitions of love.
I'd like to add something to my answer.
Yes, I would marry an escort even if she wanted to keep escorting, but I wouldn't be totally comfortable with the idea.
But again, if that's what she wants and I'm the one she loves, I'll support her.

 

[Halloween Mike]

Huummm good question.

First i would not marry her, cause i am atheist. So it would be dating instead of marrying in that question.

Would i date an escort?

Yes absolutely. Its easy to say in my case, i mean i am single, been single ever since my teen years, no sex outside sex workers etc etc

Maybe if i was a good looking man it would be different? I dunno. But lets just say i am me and thats how i am anyway...

So yes i would, i would ask her that her work does not influenciate our level of ... intimate contact... tough. Also i would ask that since she see clients, i should be allowed to see other women, no matter the way. Maybe she would be cool enough to pay for a threesome of her, me and an SP

Deep down would it bother me knowing when she says "good day honey, im going to work" she would actually been having sex with other guys? Yes for sure... But then again i would think they actually pay her to do so and its just a momentary thing. She does it for the money. While with me she does it because she want to, and we can spend time doing all sorts of things.

 

[ssj3]

Plenty of atheists get married HM

 

[jalimon]

Plenty of atheists get married HM

Less in Quebec SSJ. We are kind of a different breed here. The reasoning of HM is on that is popular in Quebec, I am one of them!

Cheers,

 

[Halloween Mike]

Plenty of atheists get married HM

I see weddings being linked to religion and "god" personally. I know there is some kind of civilian weddings but whats the point really? I always say getting married is just a way to loose money... lol. When you get divorced you have to pay again and so on. Its not the 1800s or 1930s anymore. You won't see much "til death do us part" situation. Always just easier to date and and thats it.

As for what Julia and Kilwa says, well polygamy do exist and its perfectly fine if both are ok with it. You can enjoy living and/or the compagny of someone special yet enjoy having sexual experiences with others.

See it this way, you may love living in the province of Quebec, and would never move anywhere else for good, but you enjoy the vacations in other countries

 

[Carmine Falcone]

It all boils down to what works for the couple. Most people are inherently possessive, not necessarily in a psycho way but just possessive. Example: a female friend of mine was deeply in love with her childhood sweetheart but there were familial objections to both of them getting married. She met someone else and decided to marry him. Right before she got married, her childhood sweetheart called her to change her mind but she insisted on moving forward with the new guy. When the 1st guy moved on and married someone else, she got mad! It's funny and it makes zero sense but that's human beings for you. Even I have caught myself in past relationships feeling weird when an ex moved on even though I broke off the relationship.

But given that minimum level of jealousy in humans, only a few people can handle their spouse sleeping with other people, professionally or not. The one SP I had additional interactions with was married when I met her as a SP. We even made a sex tape and she told me she'd show it to her husband, a tidbit that would blow most people away but it was so whatever to her. I even gave a shoutout to him on the recording.

Maybe it's that whole human possessiveness thing but the marriage didn't last.

 

[Julia Sky]

So you mean if i dont share my wife with others , that i dont love her or trust her enougth ? well maybe youre rigth but i think if your partner need to see others peaple to be happy then they dont love you enougth
But evryone had his bealeves ,

...what ? Reading issues right there. I never said that. I just said that people in an open relationship do love and trust each other a lot. If to you that means I think people in more traditional relationships don't love each other you really need to learn to read properly sorry not sorry. Of course you love and trust your wife too. Just like these people in open relationships.

You don't seem to understand the dynamic of an open relationship. That's fine. But don't go around judging these people saying they probably don't love each other enough. You clearly don't get it. You're the judgemental one right now. You're the one saying those things you're trying to pretend I said.

I have no idea how old you guys are. Keep in mind I'm 19. We didn't grow up in the same world. Open relationships is something I might just be able to understand a lot more because I've witnessed it, it was part of my teenage years, I know plenty of people in such a relationship and they mostly age between 18 and 45.. some of them married, some of them have been together and happy for 20 years and counting... Anyways.

 

[jalimon]

Julia is correct. I think there is a generation gap issue here. Old dudes here still have this mentality that sex is tied to a relationship. They see their girl as their "possession"...

As for myself with kids and mid-forties the only way I could somehow be again in a relationship one day is if she is open to an open relationship.

Cheers,

 

[cloudsurf]

Some people have open rationships and love each other a lot. It takes lots of love and trust to have such a relationship with someone, actually.

This old man is in a 100% agreement with Julia.
I`ve known happily married couples in open relationships.

One guy who travelled the world as a large company`s VP of sales had a girlfriend waiting for him in every major world city. His wife knew and since she had her own adventures, accepted the situation and therefore no one had to lie.

A lady I met at a party several years ago was a part time escort, a full time teacher and happily married to a husband who knew about her side job, approved of it , and did his own thing.

On the other hand if you are happily married but are having secret flings on the side......it eventually is going to end badly.

 

[EagerBeaver]

In my experience women - the ones worth spending time with anyway - are put off by guys having needy/possessive mentalities in terms of having an arrangement with them, whether you hook up with them through an escort agency or Seeking Arrangement. Younger women want to be free to explore. They are curious and finding or trying to find their place in the world. Guys who want them "under wraps", especially if they are very desirable, ultimately turn them off due to said possessive mentalities. A lot of guys need to look in the mirror and ask what is looking back at them, both in terms of what they can bring to a lady's life with their looks, their company and their ability to financially support the women. Some guys are just incapable of doing this analysis. They ultimately fail in their arrangements as a result. Controlling personas and attitudes are quickly rejected by desirable women who are exposed to many men whether through the medium of escort agency, MP, or Seeking Arrangement. Having a judgmental attitude (as displayed by posts in this thread) about these kinds of arrangements will also spook a lot of women. Play the game properly, or get out of it. There are rules in hockey and football and if you break them, you pay the price. There are rules here too, they are mostly unspoken and unwritten, but you either can figure them out and play a winning game, or you don't figure them out and you play a losing game.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Younger women want to be free to explore. They are curious and finding or trying to find their place in the world. Guys who want them "under wraps", especially if they are very desirable, ultimately turn them off due to said possessive mentalities..

Yeah, not allowing your girlfriend to fuck whoever she wants is being too possessive. Really? I am old so old fashioned, do not care what a person did in their past but will not allow my companion to fuck other people, if that makes me too possessive I will move on to someone who feels the same way.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Most women who work as escorts or are on Seeking Arrangement don't want "boyfriends." They want FWBs, friends with benefits. Whole other animal. The most common statement I see on SA is "nothing serious." Translation for those who don't get it: "I don't want a boyfriend. I want a FWB. I want to keep my options open and see what happens. If you can't play by those rules don't contact me."

STN, grab a glove and get into the game or stay in the stands and watch. It's up to you. I prefer playing to watching. My playing skills improved dramatically when I lost my Roman Catholic-influenced judgmental ideas and opened up my mind to the possibilities. An open mind enhances playing ability.

As was mentioned in the Arrangement thread this is 2017, not 1945. Live in the 21st Century or go back in time. Your choice but you may want to buy a time travel machine from Jules Verne's Estate if 2017 is too frightening.

 

[starry]

I think you are right about what many ladies in the business want/or are looking for. "Lets be friends and non-exclusive lovers" is something that I've heard before. I don't have a problem with that at all but neither do I see what it has to do with marriage and the OPs question. As you say in the vast majority these ladies aren't looking to get married.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

STN, grab a glove and get into the game or stay in the stands and watch. It's up to you. I prefer playing to watching. My playing skills improved dramatically when I lost my Roman Catholic-influenced judgmental ideas and opened up my mind to the possibilities. An open mind enhances playing ability.
.

Love your Gangsta talk, relationships are not a game, I do not watch from the sides, I play by my rules, I try to impress no one, I have no need to impress anyone. Seeing escorts is not a secret club with secret abilities or special standards. I am an Athiest so no religious standards holding me back just my own beliefs.
The hard part in life is keeping a relationship going, something you have no experience in. Best you keep your gloves on and keep paying for companionships.

 

[EagerBeaver]

STN,

Au contraire, I do not reject relationships because I have no experience in them, I reject them because I been there and done that and don't want them. I prefer arrangements.

My post wasn't solely directed at you. I am of the opinion that threads like this one are dangerous. Since I have been going to Montreal regularly for 15 years and attended numerous industry parties (I am guessing between 15 and 20), I had the chance to meet many clients in this business. I recall a few in particular who crashed and burned. The guys who crashed and burned were mostly younger guys who fell into two categories (1) got in over their heads financially and couldn't handle it; (2) used escort agencies as dating services, got in over their heads emotionally and couldn't handle it. Unfortunately there were a few guys falling into the latter group whose obsessive behaviors drove a few ladies out of the business or close. Guess who gets hurt by this? All of us. Thus threads that encourage this kind of behavior should be frowned upon by anyone who is really a player. I don't think you really get the full import of my posts on this. There is a method to the madness here. These threads do not help those who aren't in these above groups, which is most of the senior people on MERB. I am at the same time not calling for the expunging of these threads but will call out the fallacies and hypocrisies that undermine the real clients. The guys who just wanna have fun and actually play by the fucking rules.

 

[starry]

Something that has puzzled me are the expectations of at least some of the working girls who are married or have a SO with whom they live. One very lovely lady I know broke up with her long standing SO because she found out that while she was out of town he had an encounter with another SP (who promptly ratted him out lol). After talking with her about it I was able to conclude with confidence that what she was experiencing emotionally was exactly the disappointment and distress that a woman in a conventional monogomous relationship might feel if she found out her guy had seen someone else. The fact that she was fucking maybe 500 guys a year, regular clients and anybody else who walked through the door and could pay the freight didn't seem to affect her thinking at all. And he only strayed once! She felt that being intimate with her SO was basically different than her work related intimacy. Thing is I know that she fully enjoys the intimacy she has with at least her best clients and is totally giving of herself. She does not hold back in any way at all and loves to be pleasured by them as well. So I don't buy the explanation she gave. Whats more he was never a big fan of her working after they shacked up though he lived with it and he never swore any oath of sexual fealty.
The same lady once explained to me that there were three types of clients in the biz: clients who always only saw one and the same lady, clients who played the field and saw as many as they could afford to see and clients who only very infrequently saw SPs. Even knowing that I fell more into the second category than the first she asked me to see only her going forward. Supposedly this would make her closer to me in terms of her feelings. Me seeing other ladies was fine but it made her feel like all the other girls and made our relationship more common and of a lower order of things. At first I thought she was just trying to corner the market. The girls sometimes compete for business. But on reflection I thought otherwise. She is not a devious or manipulative person. She actually meant exactly what she said.
Just to show how weirdly wired some of these ladies are.
Also regarding open marriages, I can certainly understand open relationships i.e. sharing space, companionship and the occasional bodily fluids, but then why bother getting married?
Oh and EB, no question that some clients cannot handle hobbying and can create disturbances that are a nuisance to all, but do you really feel that a few posts on a message board are going to incite this type of anti-social behavior? Don't see it myself.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Starry,

You may be right that I overrate the significance of this type of thread, but guys who are using escort agencies as dating services, and there are some guys here who do this, kind of latch on to this as justification for their abhorrent behaviors. Which causes ladies to quit the biz. So whatever I can do to discourage it, I will.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Starry-

I recall one very popular agency escort from around 10 years ago, who was fired by her agency and became a popular Indy. She explained to me that a client who became a regular called for her 3 times in one week and on the third date told her he was in love with her. She then told the agency owner she would no longer accept bookings from this client. Apparently the client was a good one, and otherwise well behaved, because she was fired for not servicing him. She then went Indy and decided who to accept as clients and I assume the dude who was in love wasn't on the list. So that's the kind of nonsense we need to avoid here. Play the fucking game or get out. There are actual dating services and MERB and its sponsors are not dating services.