Would you get married with an escort girl?

[Lusty Pig]

its about their character

Let me put it this way. She's fucked all kinds for cash, coke, cars, whatever. Or she's worked the brass pole for...TA DA .... $$$$$$$

What do you have to offer her after asking for her hand in marriage ? Are you a sucker that suffers fromt he "White Knight" syndrome where you want to come in and save her ? And fuck YES, there is a double standard. We're the customers - what does it say about us?

Would you let your sister marry a guy who has a good three dozen posts about his adventures ?

 

[Mysterious]

Now why would I do something as silly as marrying an escort?? the only reason I am seeing escorts is because I'm married!!!!!!!

 

[coco-des-îles]

First of all, let me tell you about my surprise to see a thread going on for 4 pages in a day!
I would never imagine such a subject being so popular.
So yes I will probably marry her one day...probably before the end of the year!
The BIG question is: once you marry an escort, can you allow yourself to keep on hobbying, she knows you have done it before, she should expect you to do it after, she knows everything about the business, she knows about the difference between sex and love better than anybody else. She should be more open minded than any ''regular'' girl.
My deep feeling is that the best girl to marry is an escort and to bring her out of business! then you get the best of 2 worlds! The love and the freedom!
Shit, this is exactly what I am doing!

 

[scoby57]

First of all, let me tell you about my surprise to see a thread going on for 4 pages in a day!
I would never imagine such a subject being so popular.
So yes I will probably marry her one day...probably before the end of the year!
The BIG question is: once you marry an escort, can you allow yourself to keep on hobbying, she knows you have done it before, she should expect you to do it after, she knows everything about the business, she knows about the difference between sex and love better than anybody else. She should me more open minded than any ''regular'' girl.
My deep feeling is that the best girl to marry is an escort and to bring her out of business! then you get the best of 2 worlds! The love and the freedom!
Shit, this is exactly what I am doing!

You are right! GOOD LUCK!

 

[Dee]

Unless you were with my wife. Than it would be 100%!

But I undertand where you are coming from.

Boy can I relate....

 

[korbel]

I don't know your lady friend so I have no idea how she would feel about you seeing escorts.

However, I think your thinking that she will be fine with you continuing to 'hobby' is a dangerous assumption. For the most part, I think when women leave the business for good they want nothing to do with it anymore in any capacity.

We see a lot of undesirable things and people and after a certain point the urge to not associate oneself with these kinds of situation becomes quite overwhelming. I think by continuing to hobby you will be reminding her of a part of her life she'd probably rather not dwell on.

Also, a SP is a woman first and a provider second. Women like to feel that they are able to fully satisfy their partner - both sexually and intellectually. Having a significant other who hobbies will make the woman feel that she is not enough. Woman, even jaded ones, are romantics deep down inside.

Most SP's I know would never consider marrying a john, myself included. Mostly because I would never fully be able to trust him - never fully believe that he could be satisfied with one woman.

I personally think SP/client relations are best left in fantasy.

Hello JAG,

Great post. Within is the key problem for successfully marrying an escort. Men are much the same way. If you switch the genders and roles in your statement it works equally well in view of men and/or clients. Both genders are in need of self-worth and territorial in relationships, so, such a past will be a very heavy burden to overcome no matter how open and sophisticated their perspective may be. Most men and women can find it taxing to get over the past relationships of their significant other in any situation, never mind dealing with the past of an escort or a hobbyist.

Good luck,

Korbel

 

[korbel]

Korbel,

I agree that most of what I said applies to both male/female and SP/John.

The only slight difference I see is that if you are married to a former escort chances are you can be fairly certain that she isn't working while you are married. Depends on the relationship, but it is pretty difficult to hide a career from you significant other. I would think it would be pretty obvious wether her escorting career was over or not.

I think the problem for SP's is that it is relatively simple for a man to hide his 'hobby' from his wife. A night out with the guys, a few hours off work in the middle of the day, a business trip etc. So it would be difficult to ever really know or trust the past was the past.

If I could be absolutely certain that he would never phone an escort again then I would marry a john....but I'm pretty sure I could never convince myself that I could be %100 sure of that.

A past I could deal with. Someone doing it while I was married I couldn't.

Hello JAG,

How often is certainty part of anything in the best situations? If there were only one man and woman of suitable match in the world would everything be perfect or even just "good" between them? Then yes, the chances of harmony between a couple where one had been a client or an escort are slim indeed. I think everyone yearns for the total fidelity of their significant other, and a past such as this makes that seem almost impossible since being connected to the hobby is antithetical, the opposite of fidelity. So, on the surface I would have to completely agree with your general point on the difficulties of of having faith ion someone with this past. But, there are always exceptions. Real love is something that is not simply rational.

Cheers,

Korbel

 

[scoby57]

There is nothing wrong with a dancer or escort. While chances are slim that I will get married again, it is more likely that it will be with a woman who takes part in my hobbies. I don,t intend to stick one woman, so if she can play and earn money the more power for her. Jack

Let's suppose, one morning, your girlfriend tells you she has decided to become an escort provider! How will you react?

http://www.crestock.com/images/570000-579999/576186-xxs.jpg

 

[metoo4]

... I won't never reveal to anyone that I was a day an escort...just want to have the best possibility to have an "ordinary life" after... to be rejected or, in contrario, search to be taking some special advantages of the fact that I was an escort....

Not all guys are the same. Personally, I am extremely curious, I like to know why things are the way they are. The reason is simply to understand the other person's point of view, to try to put myself in their shoes. This isn't to invade their privacy or to take advantage of them, it's only to understand the personality of the person in front of me.

In a love relation, wanting to understand each other is normal and beneficial. Relations where this desire doesn't understand are doomed from the start. That doesn't mean playing 20 questions or "truth or dare". There are time and place to say stuff. But when some experience may affect negatively the way we are, it's better to let the other person know than letting him trying to figure-out the cause of the reaction or, even worst, having somebody else explaining it.

Chances are, there's no way being an escort doesn't change the way a person is. This will then change who that person will be in the future, will change that person's views on many topics, and will change their instinctive reactions to life's incidents. If that person is mature enough to learn positively from being an escort, even from the bad experiences, maybe an "omission" or a "white lie" won't be a problem in a long term relation but, if there was anything "suspect" that could resurface into that person's reactions, then the truth is better IMHO.

 

[korbel]

Not all guys are the same. Personally, I am extremely curious, I like to know why things are the way they are. The reason is simply to understand the other person's point of view, to try to put myself in their shoes. This isn't to invade their privacy or to take advantage of them, it's only to understand the personality of the person in front of me.

In a love relation, wanting to understand each other is normal and beneficial. Relations where this desire doesn't understand are doomed from the start. That doesn't mean playing 20 questions or "truth or dare". There are time and place to say stuff. But when some experience may affect negatively the way we are, it's better to let the other person know than letting him trying to figure-out the cause of the reaction or, even worst, having somebody else explaining it.

Chances are, there's no way being an escort doesn't change the way a person is. This will then change who that person will be in the future, will change that person's views on many topics, and will change their instinctive reactions to life's incidents. If that person is mature enough to learn positively from being an escort, even from the bad experiences, maybe an "omission" or a "white lie" won't be a problem in a long term relation but, if there was anything "suspect" that could resurface into that person's reactions, then the truth is better IMHO.

Mello Metoo4,

Excellent post. The problem is "anything suspect" could resurface any time unpredictably, especially if the client or escort indulged in the same city they live. While I don't really see one side being any worse or better than the other in principle, the simple mathematical differences of contacts in each role mean resurfacing issues are much more likely to be more directly connected to the escort. So while the I see the difficulties for accepting a person from either perspective as principally equal, by sheers numbers the odds of complications related to the past of each are not. Still, it only takes one.

Cheers,

Korbel

 

[UHGL]

Hello JAG,

Great post. Within is the key problem for successfully marrying an escort. Men are much the same way. If you switch the genders and roles in your statement it works equally well in view of men and/or clients. Both genders are in need of self-worth and territorial in relationships, so, such a past will be a very heavy burden to overcome no matter how open and sophisticated their perspective may be. Most men and women can find it taxing to get over the past relationships of their significant other in any situation, never mind dealing with the past of an escort or a hobbyist.

Good luck,

Korbel

And this is another great post, Korbel!

I feel, although I agree with Korbel, I need to expand on his post. As a very simple man, I have a very simple mind....... my very simple take on this:

As pointed out earlier, escorts are first women.... but the flipside of this is clients are first men. We all have issues. Most of the issues, we have as clients or escorts, we have had before we started in this hobby. We all have much different lives. In this crazy world, most marriages fail. While I would love to blame it on husbands, being clients/Johns or wives being escorts, no one is perfect and marriages fail....... honesty, trust and faithfulness are hard to find in any man or woman. Does this mean that I am saying that we should all go out and marry any escort? No, but it doesn't mean that we should all go out and marry any woman we just met, either.

We should all be as careful as our heart will let us....... but in the end, our hearts will destroy our practical reasoning and let our emotions rule us? I never believed that we could control who we fell in love with(or even out of love with).............. Perfection is a scary thing?

In the end, I believe anyone who says they can(or even cannot) marry a escort, doesn't believe in staying married forever........ who could answer this question, if they could or couldn't marry someone that they have never met? The only people I believe are the ones that are already married to escorts.

This is not a stupid question about escorts, but I really don't understand what anyone would do with the answers? I think we all believe what we want to, and if the posted replies don't go our way, we just say it is because people are not being honest or the real smart people have not posted a reply.

My retarded questions to anyone about to get married....... can you put all your cards on the table and tell your future spouse, honestly, what you need from them and what you can and cannot do? Will you care enough to hear their answers and answer the same questions? Do you trust this person 100%? Who are you getting married for?

Compassion,

UHGL

Oh, by the way, I do not know if I could marry any woman, let alone a escort.... I am way too damaged and have way too many issues to work out, before I would even be ready to have a honest long term relationship with any woman.

 

[korbel]

This is not a stupid question about escorts, but I really don't understand what anyone would do with the answers? I think we all believe what we want to, and if the posted replies don't go our way, we just say it is because people are not being honest or the real smart people have not posted a reply.


Compassion,

UHGL

Hello UHGL,

That is really to the point. I don't think these posts can do much to affect our prospects of marrying an escort or client when we each carry our own complex views and feelings inside, and the "love factor" is so unpredictable. Discussion can be reassuring and people often feel the need to seek out emotional confirmation. But in the end it's all up to the individual to choose and there are no guarantees in any situation.

Good luck,

Korbel

 

[hungry101]

The more I think of it this is really a good question.

Would you get married with an escort girl?

Scoby 57 I was actually going to send this in a PM to one of the SP's on the Board but I didn't get around to it. I will post this below. It does fit the topic. I would like to know how a few of the SP's feel about this

Dear (Insert your fantasy SP's Name here)

After 4-5 appoinments a day for 3 days a week for 3-4 years - Do you feel that you still have the capacity to love? Do you feel that anything inside of you has been compomised?

I really enjoy the company of the girls in Montreal - this goes beyond sex. I love to share a bottle of wine, making small talk, kissing with passion, cuddling after, showering together, and saying good bye. I wonder if it is possible to fall in love with an SP and have a relationship that works?

I know of members in the US Armed Forces stationed in the pacific that marry their SPs and bring them home. (The format is much different than in Montreal)

I believe that making prostitution illegal makes the stigma much worse and the consequences for both the SP, the hobbiest, and society are much worse.

Even so, does a traditionall relationship appeal to you anymore? After escorting, could you see yourself loving only 1 man even if it means for the next 30 years? Is it possible to be satisfied to work a part time job that pays in 1 week what you made in 1 or 2 hours as an SP? Does raising a family appeal to you...Could you imagine going to sleep at 10PM so you can get the kids up at 6AM so that they are ready for school rather then partying all night and having your drinks paid for etc?

These are questions I have. after reading this a few times I guess I would have the similar questions for Hobbyists. Could you have sex only with one woman? I don't believe that the SP's are anymore fucked up than any of us .

 

[tangoman000]

Interesting view justagirl.

I have just recently discovered the SP and I find it quite convenient. At this time, I don't really have time for a conventional relationship, because of travel, work, etc. However, I would never think of seeing an SP once I am in a committed relationship. Call me old-fashioned.

And I can definitely understand the issues you may have with trusting men.

 

[metoo4]

JAG, it's not fair to put everybody in the same bag. If you see things as black-white without any shades of grey possible, you are right but it's not always that way.

Some guys see SP once in a while to get what's missing or unsatisfactory at home. In these occasions, seeing the SP actually help the situation at home because it evacuates the tension, bitterness and ressentiment.

I wouldn't be surprised at how many womans actually suspect their man having sexual adventures and not saying anything about it because they noticed it was making the home relation better.

My point, as long as the guy still love his partner and doesn't fall for another one, no big deal. Is this being unfaithful? Maybe but, is it worth throwing a love relation to garbage when only one tiny part isn't working and a few million others are fine? I don't think so.

If I'd be single, would I go out with an SP? Maybe. And the scale tilt a lot more towards yes than no. Would she have to stop? Making her stop would deny her right to decide on her own and probably would doom the relation from the start so, if she decides by herself to stop, why not. If she want to continue, I knew what I was getting into so, what right do I have to complain?

 

[metoo4]

JAG, I could run a marathon, it won't release the sexual tension. Counselling? Tried that too. No joy...

As long as we're happy with the method we use and it work for us, that's the best method, right?

To me, seeing an SP is the working equivalent to seeing a councellor. Or, simpler (No offence, this is just a bare-bone comparaison!) it's like going to see a mechanic to get my car fixed. I like my mechanic but I don't love him. He fixes my car the way I like, he's a human and nice to interact with but it stop there. The SPs "fix" my libido, is human and nice to interact with but, same as my mechanic, it stop there. My GF have nothing to be jealous of my mechanic, nor does she have to be jealous of the SP I see. My mechanic have some skills my GF doesn't have, same with the SP. All these peoples do is complementing what my GF can't do.

Sorry, I'm the logical-rationnal type. Emotions guide me but they rarely drive me...

 

[korbel]

The other hard part is that I think doing this job makes it harder to trust. Most of our clients are in 'committed' relationships or have wives who are at home cleaning up baby barf while there husband is out playing with 18 year olds. I personally don't believe that the majority of men partake in this kind of activity....but nearly all the men I've met over the past few years do. I think seeing so many people who are unfaithful gives you a skewed sense of reality.

While I think that I would definitely love to and be able to be in a traditional relationship doing this job has definitely make it harder to trust a man - when I think about that it's a bit sad.

Hello JAG,

Yes, I noticed this too as a client. It seems to be one of the side effects, one of the traps of going into "the hobby" in any role. While I am sure there are those clients who just view having escorts as fun without any baggage to affect their sense of enjoyment, it's certain from reading posts over the years that many come here with various degrees of jading about women. It doesn't seem to matter whether the client is married or single. Given the difficulty of forming a successful pair bond relationship under any circumstances, some jading is probably just natural. Just trying to find a match for oneself and trying to fulfill emotional, moral, social, psychological needs and expectations between two people is very difficult as we know. Frustration with those efforts and dealing with the disappointments and possible betrayals eventually must lead to some level of jading. Now take all of that into the hobby with the mercenary basis for pleasure or some sort of other needy fulfillment and the jading can easily increase. Many men often have some degree of resentment, justly or unjustly, about the perceived mercenary nature of women at any time. The hobby and it's profit motive basis just magnifies that perception. The posts that constantly remind the client that "it's a business" are so numerous and constant that the idea women are mercenary can become almost ingrained. Such a perceived persistent atmosphere of this kind is obviously going to make trust very difficult.

Of course the money factor in the hobby is far from being the only element. But, from the client's point of view it is the central element and it has a noticeable effect on men's perceptions of what women are like and what motivates them. It's an ugly side of the hobby, but it's there. And, while many men realize this perception is usually unjust, in times of stress or doubt such perceptions linger and make trust harder at any time.

Sadly,

Korbel

 

[here4agoodtime]

Just wanted to throw my two cents in.........I single so if I see a SP or dancer it's because I'm looking for a certain type of women (like a blonde or dark hair or a black or asian woman), and I'm not cheating on anyone. I'm single because I like variety and just haven't found a woman who is availible and I would be great with on many levels. To answer the question I would if she was right for me and I for her. I've never been a jealous person so the fact that she had a job in the sex industy wouldn't bother me as long as she was there for me.

 

[metoo4]

JAG, it's ok to disagree, no problems here!

I don't tell my gf about my adventures (and I don't consider the ladies I'm seeing as whores, not at all!) only because she's been raised with the opinion seing somebody else when you were in a relationship was wrong, no question, only black or white.

You know some society accept polygamy? We're not talking about an occasional boner for the fun of it here, we're talking about sharing a person with others at every possible levels. Why is it so wrong for our society to accept this while it's acceptable for others? For these society, this isn't an occasional, no-strings attached-fuck, it's a full-fledged love relation with many partners! Isn't a loveless fuck less less dammageable to a relation than sharing a person 100% with somebody else, under the same roof? Yet these peoples see no problems doing it.

The only difference is how we were raised and how we see life. Things our parents tought us sometimes change in validity as we grow older and, this is normal. This is called evolution. And yes, I know evolution isn't always for the better but, none of us can tell if it's a gain or a loss, only time and the futur historians will be able to do that.

 

[korbel]

Metoo,

I guess the thing is that if I express clearly to my partner that it is important to me that he doesn't cheat than I would expect him to respect that. It's important to me not because of history, but because it hurts me a lot to find out my partner isn't being faithful.

I guess maybe the fundamental problem for me, and most women in general is that men commit to something and do another. I imagine if you are married you made some kind of vow or commitment to be faithful. Going back on that promise is the betrayal part that is hard to accept.

Hello JAG,

I agree with your premise that knowing how a partner feels the right thing to do is to make a choice whether to live under those circumstances. That is the responsibility of both. We all know how often people lie about their intentions and it's cruel to deceive anyone who has exposed their feelings only to have them exploited. I know men and women like that. But there are times when someone can mean what they say, then realize he or she didn't truly have a hold on how they really felt. Sometimes one can feel very deeply about someone else because they recognize or are attracted to some very desirable qualities in that person, but what they felt was admiration and attraction short of love. And then, even the best matched couples with the deepest true love feelings can grow apart over time. Not every breakup is an intentional deception. For most, absolute certainty about feelings, even when trying to be as genuine and honest as possible, can be nearly impossible. The best anyone can do is know the other person as much as possible and then make the best choice they can.

Good luck,

Korbel