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Thread: What To Do When The Fire Burns Out Inside.....

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2003

    What To Do When The Fire Burns Out Inside.....

    I remember in my younger days the fire inside to succeed and acomplish things was very high. Freshly minted out of univeristy the drive was there to succeed and there was no obstacle big enough to stop me. Now that reality has set in, that burning fire inside seems to have burnt out leaving me in a zombie like state doing the daily grind. No ambition left, no drive to succeed, no motivation, no satisfaction from work. I hope this is just a phase I am going through and the fire will find itself back, but right now I'm just empty....
    "Just When I Thought I Was Out.....They Pull Me Back In!!!"

  2. #2
    Feeling the same way...At least I'm not alone...


  3. #3
    Your job description should not be your self description.

    I had that same feeling once in my first job right after college. So I know quite well what you guys mean and going through. From that I realize that so-called work life balance is absolute bull. Achieving satisfaction and meaning through your job and career will do nothing but slowly rob your soul one bit at a time. Once you realize what is happening either you are dead inside or you realize you have to take action. Your boss, your co-workers and your company in most cases does not like you. They will take advantage and screw you over in any chance they get if things suit them. You are there to grease the wheel and to serve the system. You are expendable and replaceable at any moment.

    The solution? Realize that your passion and what brings fire to you and your job/career do not mix. Your job is just to pay the rent, put food on the table, and to meet the basics so you don't have to beg. From that once you have your basis and necessities covered go out there and find your passion if you don't already have one. It is never too late. Hell I found mine in my late 20s and early 30s. It took some abuse, my fair share of letdowns and some disappointments to shake things up.

    Don't see this emptiness as a dead end but see this as a wake up call and a blessing.

  4. #4
    Czar feels the same way as TheDon, and paradoxinabox has felt the same way in a previous life. Me too, not always but often! And most people I know also feel the same way often--perhaps because misery likes company?!

    But then I have a wonderful friend who is even older than me-he is 87 and I will hide my age this time. He tells me, every time we meet, that he is living the best time of his life, in spite of his diminishing energy. He seems to have another kind of fire, one that does not go out with age. He has simply learned to enjoy every moment of life, precisely because he is goal-free. He is free from performance anxiety because he sees that there is no need to perform! He his literally in love with life, with every being, and most of all human beings.

    I am learning a lot from him. I am enjoying the fact that I have less and less to prove and to compete for. It is not easy to see this diminishing fire as a positive thing, but I am not only trying, but even (sometime!) succeeding!

    I am glad that Merb is (also) about SEX. I am actually discovering a new and, IMHO, much better way to experience sex, thanks to some of the lovely ladies we usually refer to as SP. I have difficulty with the expression SP, because these women provide much much more than a service. They share with us the pleasure of sex, which is one of the greatest pleasures of life--yes, BETTER than chocolate! And because the only strings attached take the form of a few dollar bills, this sex is as stress-free as possible. If we let them, these gentle and beautiful ladies will teach us to kindle another kind of fire, an alternative to the fire that consumes us with the need to accomplish, achieve, perform. I apply what they teach me to other areas of life, like taking a walk, eating, getting together with friends over a glass of wine. My very young 87 year old friend understand this perfectly well, and he enjoys my tales of escorts without neither judgment nor morbid curiosity: indeed he is one of the few people I can discuss my practice of the 'hobby'!

    I prefer to share my experience without giving advice. However, I won't disagree with paradoxinabox' remark that 'consulting' may be very helpful (I do too from time to time and it does help). At the same time I want to warn you, dear TheDon, that most doctors will prescribe pills rather than take the time to listen. But I am sure that this is not the kind of consulting that paradoxinabox is referring to!

    Best wishes to TheDon and to those of us who feel like him!


  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    West Island
    As we get older our needs and desires change. If your stuck in a job or profession where there is security but limited oportunities for promotion, and developement, then you need some outside interests to stimulate both the mind and body. I am semi retired and just started my own consultancy. I get called back from time to time by previous employers to help out. I have more time for myself and family, my health is improving and my drive and stamina is returning. You have to sit back from time to time and let the batteries recharge. ( Ps I also have an SP who I meet regularly and she gives me a little extra every time and that relationship is great ) Alter the pace and routine of your life it helps tremendously.
    Do unto other's as they would do unto you BUT DO IT FIRST

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