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Thread: Define ''real'' man? ''real''woman?

  1. #1
    Lily from Montreal
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    Define ''real'' man? ''real''woman?

    The expression keeps coming up and it makes me cringe...
    So what is your definition of reality?
    If someone say '' real man don't cry'' I am not into BDSM as a rule but I might make an exception and go the spanking route if faced with that cliché...
    So share,what makes a real man or woman today?

  2. #2
    Someone who is responsible and acts with integrety for starters. That would cover a lot of ground actually.

    In this context real doesn't have anything to do with existance but rather of quality. The real deal if you will. After all if you call someone a real scum bag you are not saying he is actually a bag of scum.


    To link back to the other thread. In my life I've gotten to know 4 mansluts. I would not consider any of them to be real men and not just because of the chronic cheating but elsewhere in their lives they showed serious shotcomings. However it is a rather small sample size.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mensch

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilyForYou View Post
    The expression keeps coming up and it makes me cringe...
    So what is your definition of reality?
    If someone say '' real man don't cry'' I am not into BDSM as a rule but I might make an exception and go the spanking route if faced with that cliché...
    So share,what makes a real man or woman today?
    This term is way overused, and really makes me cringe too. It's the same as those "real men don't hit women" campaigns..

    I get the effect they're trying to achieve with using the "real men/women" term, but it's demeaning and ridiculous. It should all be about being decent human beings, and treating each other with respect.

    I've heard the "real men don't cry" one before, and several others like it, but does crying, or doing other "feminine" things automatically damage your manhood and no longer make you a "real man"? No, not at all, in fact if anything, I think being able to feel secure enough to admit doing things that aren't considered "manly" is a much more attractive quality by far.

    A "real" man or women or whatever else you consider yourself these days, is someone who is able to live their life in whatever way makes them happy, without having to try and please others, but still being a respectful person to those around them.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by wasisname View Post
    Someone who is responsible and acts with integrety for starters. That would cover a lot of ground actually.
    I have to agree with WIN (I came up with an acronym for your name bud) if I had to define a "Real man". That term never made sense to me.

    One of my friends girlfriends referred to me as a "Real Man Because I had noticed that she changed her hairstyle and her boyfriend hadn't
    My friend called me gay

    Another time I was referred to as a "Real Man" by a woman because I was able to shop solo at a Victoria Secret store and pick out and buy lingerie for my significant other without being uncomfortable.
    Again I was called gay by a "Real Man" for the same reason

    I have also been called a "Real Man' for doing masculine things, but come to think of it, that was mostly by my overly masculine "Real Men" friends.

    It seems like the Definition of a "Real Man" Varies from a woman to a man. If you are secure about doing "feminine" things women might perceive you as a real man and you might be perceived as Gay (at least in my case) by "Real Men", which doesn't bother me because I have plenty of Gay friends that I would consider "Real Men" more so then their overly masculine counterparts.

  5. #5
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    If you have adult male organs and identify as male then you're a real man and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    True men/women, it's just something people use to shame others into behaving like they think they should.

    This is a kind of logical fallacy, usually called the ''No True Scotsman'' fallacy. Definition from wiki:
    ''When faced with a counterexample to a universal claim ("no Scotsman would do such a thing"), rather than denying the counterexample or rejecting the original universal claim, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing"
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  6. #6
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    Hello all,

    Quote Originally Posted by LilyForYou View Post
    So share,what makes a real man or woman today?
    It's just a bit of machismo guys use to cover insecurity or attempt to prove something that's not really there. Often just a joke. No "real man" needs to say it. See what I mean.

    Seriously, a real man or woman is anyone who truly stands by what they say and stays accountable for what they do.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmberRose View Post
    It should all be about being decent human beings, and treating each other with respect.
    Yup, standing by principles of decency, respect, and having the courage to maintain your honor. Not being deceitful, self-serving, or running away from your responsibilities.

    Cheers,

    Merlot

  7. #7
    Everybody is real, it's just a rather weak expression that means nothing and says more about the limited mind of the person who uses it than the person they're trying to define.

  8. #8
    An honest man or wOman. "Real" is not defined by a stereotype.

  9. #9
    One of my favorite quotes from the Big Labowski

    The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
    The Dude: Dude.
    The Big Lebowski: Huh?
    The Dude: Uhh... I don't know sir.
    The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
    The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

  10. #10
    In terms of the masculine and the feminine having a penis no more makes you a "real" man than getting some chick preggers and bolting off makes you a "real" father.

    Richard Simmons. He could have a 2L coke bottle sized wang and balls the size of grape fruit and bang so many girls that even Wilt Chamberlin and Gene Simmons start slutshaming him because it is just too much.
    No way could I consider him a "real" man. He is a chick with a dick.

    Another situation where "real" has more than one meaning.


    If some muscle car fanboy ever said that a smart car isn't a real car I don't think too many people would be quick to say "nuh uh the smart car is a car and it exists" because it is understood what he really means. [Although over priced, I otherwise like the smart car idea].
    If someone said that Dominos isn't real pizza but ketchup on cardboard, again I think we would all understand that he isn't refering to a definition thing.

    I find it odd that so many peoeple seem to have trouble with the concept of real man or woman however it is defined.


    For the record. My male parental unit could fit the real man definition in terms in pretty much every definition of the word. Myself, I'd consider myself to be a mench but I am not exactly a manny mc man man. Not feminine but still.

  11. #11
    Illecebrous Quaintrelle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daiko View Post
    Everybody is real, it's just a rather weak expression that means nothing and says more about the limited mind of the person who uses it than the person they're trying to define.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rhumdice View Post
    An honest man or wOman. "Real" is not defined by a stereotype.
    Totally agree!

    The expression is self-serving and judgmental at best and it is often used to demonstrate, and sometimes impose, the speaker's beliefs, morals, values, opinions, etc. at the expense of others. It has nothing to do with the person who is being talked about.
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