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Thread: Taking a break from hobbying

  1. #1

    Taking a break from hobbying

    I have been contemplating a break from hobbying for a while now. This is an indefinite break. For the most part, I have enjoyed meeting wonderful ladies that I shared a lot more than just sex with. But there are many aspects of hobbying that do not sit well with me, chief among them is that it is a struggle for me to lead a double life.

    I have tried hard to "rationalize" my decision to meet women for brief encounters in order to share a good time with but in the end, as much as I lie to myself, I realize that the more I hobby, the more I am avoiding personal issues that need to be dealt with. These issues will not go away and hobbying just "anesthetizes" me from dealing with them.

    Life takes us to all sorts of places. You do not know where you'll end up. I know that I do not regret my decision to hobby but I also feel that it was a cop out of sorts for me. Instead of having the courage to deal with personal problems, I tried to avoid them.

    I wish all the ladies that I have met or contacted all the best in their lives. You all deserve health and happiness. I also appreciated many exchanges on this board and I wish all of you the very best in your futures.

    Before I take this much needed break, however, I will post my final review of a very special lady I met with last night.


  2. #2
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    from the civilized world
    Dear GG,

    you bring up some interesting points. I often feel the same way as you, and found that taking a break from hobbying or significantly slowing down has helped somewhat put things into better perspective. Maybe there's a way that we can simultaneously practice the hobby in a moderate and judicious way, and at the same time work on our issues. I don't think that doing one necessarily excludes the other.

    Last edited by femaleluver2; 03-25-2006 at 07:59 AM.

  3. #3

    I agree, ...

    ... meeting women for brief encounters doesn't solve our own personal problems. Nobody should expect a psychotherapy from SP or MP. This is not fair for them.

    Best wishes ...
    Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by oliver kloseoff
    very intersting topic
    as well i agree with regnad that you are a valuable contributor and would like to see you continure to do so
    best wishes

    Oliver, Regnad and others,

    I also enjoy our exchanges and I will see how I shall proceed in terms of my input going forward. My favorite section is always the lounge.

    All the best,


  5. #5

    I, myself, am living the same personal issues as you are and I'm trying to space seeing SP's. I'm not at a crossroad yet.

    There is a radical way to stop hobbying : stop logging on MERB.

    Yes, you read it right...MERB is so addictive, you log in at work, at home, before going to bed, etc..On MERB, temptation is king. So many juicy reviews and promos and pics.

    I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel....

    Another way to stop hobbying is to go broke or cut off you know what. Men tend to think with that thing hanging between their legs.

    A sucker is born every NY minute.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by CryWolf

    There is a radical way to stop hobbying : stop logging on MERB.

    Yes, you read it right...MERB is so addictive, you log in at work, at home, before going to bed, etc..On MERB, temptation is king. So many juicy reviews and promos and pics.


    You may be right but I feel that I have the inner strength to do this now. Without going into details, I know what is important in my life and I can persevere and avoid temptation. The more I think about it, the more I am confident about my decision. Again, life throws us all a bunch of curveballs and we need to deal with them and be honest with ourselves. After all, no matter how hard you try, you cannot lie to yourself.

    When you reach the crossroad, you'll know exactly what I am talking about. You will not question yourself but rather feel secure that you're taking the necessary steps to find your inner peace.


  7. #7

    I told you that you were going to stop this soon!

    I am so proud of you!

    Know that we will miss you very much on this board... xoxox Anik

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Big Daddy Cool
    Good luck Double G. You hit the nail on the head and I wish you all the best in health, love and sucess in the world. You are one of Gods special children and know you will be well looked out for. We'll miss you buddy.

    Big Daddy,

    You are a class act as well and I hope you also find what you're looking for.

    >>Sweet Anik, what can I say, you knew my decision was inevitable and I honestly think you're a sweetheart who deserves the best.

    I will be here off and on contributing some material but I do plan on cutting it down considerably. It is up to each one of you to elevate the discussion and be relentlessly critical on those who try to bring it down to mediocre levels.

    Retired GG

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by 10-4Roger
    I faced somewhat the same. Here an alternative : if you have built-up a particular relation with one of the girl , I mean , seeing her out-side of the job , you see the human being . Than knowing her limits , you know how you can trust her. Than , open your own parlor with her has receptionist-manager. You will still be in contact on a different level, and believe me , a much better different level emotionally , physically and financially . Just do it ! I know what I am talking about.

    I don't think GG is dealing with that kind of issue. Having read his posts, I think I know what's bugging him.

    We wish him well, one day I'll walk that path too.

    A sucker is born every NY minute.

  10. #10
    10-4 Roger,

    I got to agree with CryWolf on this - I am not interested in opening anything up in the sex industry. I will, however, keep in touch with some of the ladies because I find them interesting and I can definetely see myself treating them to a lunch or dinner.


  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by sapman99
    While this time is somewhat similar, I find these encounters are also helping me define what I'm looking for in a relationship. And because I feel like I'm having fun and discovering things, I'm not in a hurry. Which also seems to increase my attractiveness level...

    When the time comes for me, it will be a lot like GG: inner strength to resist, smile on my face at the memories, and sadness for the missed companionship.

    Long live General Gonad!

    Thanks for the kind words. I agree with you that SPing can be an important process of self-discovery, especially if you take the time to talk to these women, not just have sex with them. There are no meaningful residuals to sex but there can be a lot to learn from SPs if you open your ears and your heart.

    On the inner strength. We all have inner strength to make decisions. Some of us have a little more perspective on what really matters in life. Temptation will always be there. You're going to see a bunch of women springing up with great reviews on this board. But where does it all end? We are insatiable beasts looking for ephemeral moments of pleasure to dull the pain of reality. But you cannot continue this in perpetuity until you realize one day: "What is the meaning to all this? Where am I heading?"

    I am, of course, exaggerating but not by much. The whole sex industry - and many others as well - is built on this principle of immediate self-gratification. Ultimately, no matter how enjoyable these encounters are, they cannot fill any deep void that eats away at your soul. You have to try and take them for what they are - a brief moment of pleasure where if you're lucky, you'll meet someone special.

    >>10-4 Roger, I agree that mentoring someone is a lot more gratifying than simply sharing a good time. Taking some time to actually listen to someone's problems and provide them with guidance is worth a lot more than the dollars that they receive for their services. Money is bullshit but good advice and a shoulder to lean on when the chips are down - now that is priceless!

    There are not enough good mentors in this world...

    Last edited by General Gonad; 03-25-2006 at 02:08 PM.

  12. #12


    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    But you cannot continue this in perpetuity until you realize one day: "What is the meaning to all this? Where am I heading?"
    What? You mean we can't hobby for ever? I keep wondering about such frequent casualties with good reviewers dropping out of hobbying life, while I have been bullet-proof for so long. I wish you all the best GG and hope that your afterlife from this escort world brings true happiness.

  13. #13
    Working rage-aholic
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    a rocky planet with one moon
    GG, you're right of course, particularly about the anesthetizing effects of hobbying. I wish you the best in your endeavors.

    I wonder though if anesthetizing oneself isn't sometimes better than dealing with the heavy issues. Granted, it's hard to keep hobbying forever, but there are other ways of anesthetizing yourself. Sports, sitcoms, beer, porn, video games, comedy, even work. People use these things all of their life. I'm not saying it's healthy, but when people deal with the 'heavy' issues, it's sometimes too much.
    Sometimes people turn to therapy or religion to find the answers when there are none. They ask others if their behavior is a problem. They should ask themselves. As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's really only a problem if it's a problem for you...or if you run out of money.

    Anyway, I wish you all the best.
    Last edited by btyger; 03-27-2006 at 05:00 AM.
    Why are homely people discriminated against...we're the majority

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Robin
    What? You mean we can't hobby for ever? I keep wondering about such frequent casualties with good reviewers dropping out of hobbying life, while I have been bullet-proof for so long.

    You are a veteran and respected member of this board. At one point, people either accept that they will hobby for the rest of their lives or they quit, possibly to start again in a moment of weakness. Did you have phases where you questioned the hobby and what you were getting out of it?

    I struggled with the hobby lately so instead of continuing, I think it is time to reassess and figure out exactly what I want out of life and my relationship. I think I owe it to myself and my wife to try and resolve some issues. I don't think hobbying has anything to do with these issues but it doesn't help because you avoid discussion.

    But even if I don't resolve these issues and we separate or divorce, I find it hard to continue seeing SPs. Why? Because you meet a great lady and you want to build on it but you can't. You have to accept that the relationship will not progress beyond a certain point. This also bothers me because I am a builder at heart - I think there is something intrinsically beautiful about building a solid relationship.

    This morning, I had to write to two wonderful ladies cancelling our dates. Trust me, it wasn't easy. One in particular really got under my skin in our conversations and she offered to meet me tomorrow. They both intrigued me and they both radiate class and sophistication. But if I am not there in spirit, why bother meeting them?

    One nice SP emailed me today to tell me to resolve my personal issues before considering coming back to the hobby. I think that is sound advice. At one point, you get caught up in a game that never ends. There will always be another gem you absolutely want to meet and you can always tell yourself "ok just one more and then I am done." It simply never ends.

    We all know of the myth of Sisyphus where the gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.

    My nightmare would be to get involved in many sessions with SPs where I would ceaselessly search for the next new gem but keep falling back to the same emotional level and never progress on the emotional front.


  15. #15

    This is a difficult "hobby" to be involved in, whether it's the sp or, for me, the dancer part of it. It's hard enough for us single guys and we have no one else to answer to in our minds or conscience but ourselves. The risk of wanting more from a lady when you are married or have a gf in your life must be a difficult thing to deal with, especially when there are other issues in your life that must be resolved. I wish you all the best in getting things back on the road to where you want them to be. The board will miss you.


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