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Thread: A George Washington U. study, explores the issue of escort-client emotional intimacy

  1. #1
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    A George Washington U. study, explores the issue of escort-client emotional intimacy

    A George Washington University study (The Intimacy Prism: Emotion Management among the Clients of Escorts), based on hobbyist escort review board comments, explores the issue of emotional intimacy between escorts and clients.

    The study is reported in a story on the "Medical Daily" website -
    A Third of Men Who See Prostitutes Crave Emotional Intimacy, Not Just Sex

    Here are some relevant extracts from the story:
    New research has emerged saying that a significant minority of Johns find emotional intimacy from the sex workers that they see, creating opportunities and complications for them and sex workers... A third of men find themselves... infatuated, falling for, or engaging in friendships with the sex workers... These men ... pride themselves in their ability to give pleasure to the worker, and seem to have respect for them as well... Milrod and Weitzer (the authors of the study) separate these people into the following categories:
    • those who feel that their providers are engaging in counterfeit intimacy,
    • those who feel that their provider reciprocates,
    • and those who are confused by the feelings that they have for their provider or that the provider might have for them.
    This issue does come up from time to time on MERB. The recommendation in such cases is usually, and rightfully so, to keep a clear head and avoid becoming emotionally attached to your provider. Always remember that the escort-hobbyist relationship is a business relationship.

  2. #2
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    Damn i thought Pretty women movie storyline was happening every week
    Et je l'écoute (Joël Bouchard) toujours jusqu'à la fin de son laïus parce que je suis convaincu qu'un jour, il va terminer en nous offrant des voitures usagées à des prix INCROYABLES!

    -Ronald King

  3. #3
    Thanks for the link! Ronald Weitzer is, IMHO, the best researcher on prostitution in the USA and on of the best in the world. This papers depart from his main interest, prostitution policies. Most hobbyists will not learn much. He gets into the intimacy of a board TER, similar this one, qualitatively analyzing 2400 posts about clients engaging in long term relations with escorts and how do they deal with it. I hope they will publish a more elaborate paper on their study. This one lacks appropriate methodological discussion and data exposure.

  4. #4
    I agree with the study.

    I DISAGREE with your comment to avoid becoming emotionally attached to your provider.

    That would take all the fun out of it now wouldn't it !!!

  5. #5
    Adorable libertine
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    One thing to say about the subject of this study:

    In life, we could really appreciate people without being in love with them.

    In all working environment, we could appreciate and like very much some people, but not being in love with, and having a good friendly connection with them.

    Even if I don't take personally escorting as a work, but as a private activity with benefices, I think that my partners of my activities are, most of time, total sweetheart, interesting and fun to be with.

    *****

    That's not appropriate to confound, by example, an escort agency with a dating agency. To think to find someone to build a relationship when meeting escorts. Basically, that's not the purpose of those encounters.

    Yes, it happens rarely, some stories, but between those few, this is rarely something going to be easy, for both. Just really a tiny amount of eventual couples formed in this field will be long lasting happy. These are exceptional exceptions.

    Generally speaking, that's really better to not be confusing the reality vs the wish.

  6. #6
    I can say that i do appreciate the girls i see on a regular basis. They are real sweethearts and i always appreciate spending time with them and sharing their company.
    I am sure they also appreciate my company or else they wouldn't be staying with me for 2,3,4 hours or spending the night and just charging me for the initial 1 hour.

    That is why i repeat often with these girls...i find the encounter much more satisfying.
    but if you get too attached you probably will get burnt...
    Thats why you need to rotate with a dozen girls or so...
    But if ever i do decide to get a girlfriend i would like to try with an escort...why not...i respect them as much as any other girl in society...probably even more.

    Lets face it we clients are kind of outcasts from society...we are not like everyone else...neither are these girls....so we share that in common.

    On the question of emotional intimacy i agree 100% yes most of us do lack it...
    Thats why i consider seeing escorts as medical therapy and we should be able to ride it off as a tax deduction
    We need it to keep us mentally stable....lol
    Im sure if i took this argument to the supreme court..i would win my case with a good lawyer.

    Also i hear a lot of talk about reality and fantasy and not to mix the two.....lol

    I do the opposite...i mix them on purpose...i take a fantasy..and convince myself that it is real even if it isn't....who cares..fantasy is much more fun than reality no ? loollll

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    I started reading the article. Its nice to read articles from someone who knows what he's talking about for a change (I never read other research articles on the subject before.) I agree with Gugu, they should show more figures and pictures . But I'm not sure what other method they could use to study this. Too bad there's no mouse or chimp model to study the escort-client relationship in a controlled lab experiment.

    I agree intimacy must be counterfeit most of the time. That's the definition of a GFE and that's what I pay for. I like it when I can't say exactly which part is genuine and which is faked. I just hope they at least think I'm a nice client. Even when its an escort I love, I know I would probably not love them in real life. I feel genuine love for them, but its the kind of love I have for a favorite writer or singer. You love them through their work, but you don't really know them.

    Even in a real relationship its often very hard to know what the other partner is really thinking. Many people are being manipulated by their life partners. So I don't feel like I'm getting a bad deal paying for fantasy relationships.
    “Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love.”

  8. #8
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    Just had a deeper look at ??????? the place I went a couple times already.It is a bit related to that subject,I admit not really reading it before.I like the part about massage and men


    >>> EDITED BY MOD 11: This person is in fact a representative of a massage parlor who use MERB to boost it's popularity and denigrate it's competitors. All that was EVER written by this person must be considered a lie since that's the way they operate. <<<
    Last edited by Mod 11; 08-20-2012 at 03:05 PM.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by snoodle View Post
    ...i would like to try with an escort...why not...i respect them as much as any other girl in society...probably even more.

    Lets face it we clients are kind of outcasts from society...we are not like everyone else...neither are these girls....so we share that in common.

    On the question of emotional intimacy i agree 100% yes most of us do lack it...
    Hello Snoodle,

    I don't think we are "outcasts". I do think certain elements of society would cast us that way, but they would label a lot of other groups they don't agree with as outcasts. I believe many of us are just jaded about regular relationships for various reasons, mostly mundane reasons of dating or marriage frustrations, sometimes more intense or extreme preferences or quirks, and sometimes just because it's a preferred style or a fantasy yearning.

    I disagree that most are unable to be emotionally intimate. Similar to what I wrote above, I believe the problem for most is frustration from past experiences, and being too cautious or jaded about giving emotional trust to a significant other again after feeling burned previously. But I do agree there is a significant misogynist minority full of bitterness and distrust who have cut themselves off out of deep damage from being emotionally intimate.

    The article seems interesting and has much more of a wring of truth to it compared to other articles and my experiences, but it doesn't say anything new for me, and I doubt for many of us. But hopefully the general public may become more informed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Siocnarf View Post
    I feel genuine love for them, but its the kind of love I have for a favorite writer or singer. You love them through their work, but you don't really know them.

    Even in a real relationship its often very hard to know what the other partner is really thinking. Many people are being manipulated by their life partners. So I don't feel like I'm getting a bad deal paying for fantasy relationships.
    I have felt a genuine fondness for a lot of escorts. But I have never really stepped over the line to where I crossed boundaries of the business considering feelings. There have been close calls for a few concerning one Independent I met many times, one agency lady I'm probably very lucky I was not able to see many times, and a few others. I'm probably also very lucky I could not afford long encounters of many hours or make trips. I'm sure more time together creates more emotional risk.

    And yes, overall there isn't much difference in emotional risk between women in real life or the escort business, except the intent of escorts is much clearer.

    Cheers,

    Merlot

  10. #10
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    It's not news for us, because WE ARE the subject being studied. That's quite an ego boost!
    “Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love.”

  11. #11
    I think emotional intimacy is what makes it so good. It is not just about physical intimacy if it were then SPs would not have regulars... clients would be switching all the time. But I think what we must beware of is to not get attached... that is wanting a personal real GF-BF relationship with an escort or stripper... that is where major problems can arise. I like to receive affection and love as much as I like giving it. But that is far from saying that I want her as my GF. Just means I like the affection and emotional intimacy. I got a few regular strippers I have take out with and we enjoy giving each other love and affection (at least it seems that she likes it or is a damn good actress) and that is the way it is always is with them... 100% GFE. It is all a role and a game. As long as both parties have fun then it is all good. But never get attached that is wanting to have a conventional BF-GF relationship that could spell the end of the client/escort relation.
    There is no knowledge that is not power.

  12. #12
    There was a time when I enjoyed the emotional intimacy of some SP's. Some have some extraordinary stories. Lately though, wham, bam, thank you ma'am is more fun and makes more time for the real action.

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