A Very Bad Experience At A Stripclub

[CLOUD 500]

I thought I would bring this up as I had a very bad experience it makes me want to boycott stripclubs or if I go to never take any dances. It is kind of a long story so if you can bear with me I am a regular at The Kingdom Gentlemen's Club. I have seen a lot of girls come and go but there are two girls there that I see on a regular basis they are both cousins. I dance them quite often and they were always very nice and fun to be with. However I started to get bored recently and wanted to sample the other talent. This is what I hate. You got the regulars who understand and never pressure you or ask for dances and let you do all the work then there are the ones who constantly pressure you. These are the pressure type girls. One of them whenever I am there almost always expects me take dances every time I am in the club. So usually when she asks I say "later" or "maybe" and try to sneak out of there. But last week I was tired of the pressure and wanted to dance the other girls. But this time was different, last Saturday which was Valentine's Day I spoke with one of them and she is very nice I decided to talk to her then she asked me if I will be dancing her. Now I am thinking I should have just said no but I said ok and try to make myself scarce so she would get the hint that I was not interested in dancing her and then leave the club and this is what I have been doing this all the time when there is an aggressive dancer that is also nice at the same time and I also intended to dance her again and none of them ever got mad or took it personal. I would rather refuse her in a polite way then be blunt. All the dancers I encountered up to now did not seem bothered by this and would still say "hi" to me some of them still talked to me. Well, she took it very personal. Passed by tonight and they both ignored me . I spoke to her about it and she said she was mad about it. What I do not understand why she took it so personal she even refused to dance me when I asked her and she made no money all night . So I am thinking I come to the clubs for a good time not for this kind of negative experience. Why bother to go? I know not all the girls are like this but it was a very negative experience. I hate having regulars that always want you to dance them then get mad when you do not. Maybe it was the fact I did not just say no? An important lesson to be learned. From now on I am gonna say "NO"!

For All-> I rewrote this post as I choose a poor choice of words and was not specific enough as we know who has a problem with it as usual

 

[Lilly Lombard]

Seems to me like you don't need a gf!

 

[CLOUD 500]

Hmm? I do not get it?

Seems to me like you don't need a gf!

 

[Lilly Lombard]

You know how when a girl is upset at her bf, she gives him the "silent treatment" or pouts. You did something "wrong" (well, in her mind) and the girl is pissed at you and ignores you to make you feel guilty. Just like in a relationship.

Don't stick to a club, don't stick to a dancer, space your visits. Don't let the girl think she "owns" you.

 

[Dee]

That's the problem with women; they don't know that "no" means "no".

It's all a trick, and like you, I have been a victim. Things get twisted around so that you think you owe them dances every time you go. It's an expensive pain in the ass.

As nice as you, are these ladies aren't thinking, "Nice Cloud won't dance me and suck on my body parts and my feelings are hurt." They are thinking, "Shit the con isn't working any more, I'll lose some money, how can I make him feel bad even though I've made large amounts of money from him in the past."

It's crazy but they get control of us.

PS - for Gawd's sake write in paragraphs; they're free you know.

 

[Lilly Lombard]

PS - for Gawd's sake write in paragraphs; they're free you know.

I support that!!

 

[CLOUD 500]

Well, It is not even the fact they do understand "no". It is the pressure that you are expected to dance them. But you know what is funny I did this to test her I took out $30 and said "here take it for me not dancing you last week" and she did not want it. I guess no matter how it is it is always about the money. I am just gonna stick with the business type girls without all the dressing.

That's the problem with women; they don't know that "no" means "no".

It's all a trick, and like you, I have been a victim. Things get twisted around so that you think you owe them dances every time you go. It's an expensive pain in the ass.

As nice as you, are these ladies aren't thinking, "Nice Cloud won't dance me and suck on my body parts and my feelings are hurt." They are thinking, "Shit the con isn't working any more, I'll lose some money, how can I make him feel bad even though I've made large amounts of money from him in the past."

It's crazy but they get control of us.

PS - for Gawd's sake write in paragraphs; they're free you know.

Yea I know . But the problem is I never know where to make a paragraph so I write it all in one large paragraph.

 

[CLOUD 500]

This reaction is what is beyond me and made the visit so negative. I agree with you not to stick to the same club and space my visits. I think I will go to the clubs where the girls are low pressure.

You know how when a girl is upset at her bf, she gives him the "silent treatment" or pouts. You did something "wrong" (well, in her mind) and the girl is pissed at you and ignores you to make you feel guilty. Just like in a relationship.

Don't stick to a club, don't stick to a dancer, space your visits. Don't let the girl think she "owns" you.

 

[Lilly Lombard]

This reaction is what is beyond me and made the visit so negative.

No shit!! That's very immature and manipulative. But for a STW to be like that is very stupid! (I don't know how some women in this business can think their clients are their exclusivity and they owe them beyond the agreement made at the time it's being made). geeeeee

Anyway, if I were you, I'd give her the "walk away and never go back" treatment as a response! Take your money elsewhere, I assure you, they will take it.

Good Luck!

 

[CLOUD 500]

Yea, true say. It is immature (she is only 19) but I never thought of it as manipulative. I guess it could be. It is best to walk away and never go back. Next time I am gonna deal with these kinds of regulars differently to avoid this kind of negative experience.

No shit!! That's very immature and manipulative. But for a STW to be like that is very stupid! (I don't know how some women in this business can think their clients are their exclusivity and they owe them beyond the agreement made at the time it's being made). geeeeee

Anyway, if I were you, I'd give her the "walk away and never go back" treatment as a response! Take your money elsewhere, I assure you, they will take it.

Good Luck!

 

[Steely Dan]

You are right on Lilly! It is what is called passive/agressive behaviour/

 

[Techman]

No shit!! That's very immature and manipulative. But for a STW to be like that is very stupid! (I don't know how some women in this business can think their clients are their exclusivity and they owe them beyond the agreement made at the time it's being made). geeeeee

Anyway, if I were you, I'd give her the "walk away and never go back" treatment as a response! Take your money elsewhere, I assure you, they will take it.

Good Luck!

I don't see where the girl is being immature. Cloud told her 'yes, I will get you to dance' and then he left! And from his post, it's not the first time he does this. The girl had every right to be pissed off the next time she saw him. If you don't want to get a girl to dance, just say no! Why play games?

Some girls get the impression they 'own' a client because the client lets them feel this way. This is what happens when you always get the same girl to dance every time you see her to the exclusion of all other dancers. Usually when you decide to move on to another favorite there is no real problem. The girl will be a little ticked that you have moved on but she will accept it, it's the nature of the business. But if you promise dances to a girl, especially a regular, and then walk out on her without at least telling her some kind of excuse, tell her anything...you don't feel very good, you got an emergency cell phone call and you have to leave...but tell her something. Don't just slink out the door when she's not looking and expect to be welcomed back with open arms the next time.

And don't forget Cloud...it was Valentine's Day. Maybe the girl was feeling a little down to be working and alone. When you walked in she felt that at least there was someone who gave a damn and came to see her. Then you promised to dance her and walked out on her. On Valentine's Day. Real smooth move. Consider yourself lucky she didn't dump your drink in your lap.

Techman

 

[Merlot]

So I am thinking I come to the clubs for a good time not for this kind of negative experience. Why bother to go? I know not all the girls are like this but it was a very negative experience. I hate having regulars that always want you to dance them then get mad when you do not. Maybe it was the fact I did not just say no? An important lesson to be learned. From now on I am gonna say "NO"!

Hello Cloud,

Sorry, but this story makes me laugh a bit. Put aside for a moment the fact that you play with promises to these ladies and their reactions are your fault in such cases. This is a business. If a business person is playing head games with you to buy their product then you shouldn't be doing business with them. But the real problem is you let them do it. That's probably because you like the attention and want to feel you have something possibly real going with hot women. But it's still business and if you are putting yourself in a position where you can be emotionally manipulated or you are manipulating them then there is bad business going on from both sides. Hey, I have been pressured and/or schmoozed by strippers plenty of times. But I never forget it's about money, and as sweet, beautiful, sexy as they are it always comes down to profits. Only on rare occasions is it not all about money, as with one escort I have known for a long time. It is possible to have a friendship and still do proper business in this hobby. But 99.9% of the time it's about profit. It's a lot of fun to go to strip clubs, but if you are getting caught up in their games as well as play your own then you need to find other entertainment. A real girlfriend would be good for you, but you are an SC addict and girlfriends usually don't like that game either.

If you are going to weave yourself into these games and lose your perspective like this, obviously willingly, then complaining about it is just funny. Yes, it's impossible to control emotions and natural responses to charm and beauty. But, we poor guys all have to deal with that. Still, it is a business you seem to enjoy and instigate making into a personal game. So, if you are determined to jump into a pool of your choice then don't complain about getting wet. It's looks funny to complain about games you yourself seem to love playing, and this situation is your fault. At the very least you are an enabler, at most you provoke this. Be real about it. You are a big part of this problem.

The facts,

Merlot

 

[metoo4]

Techman have a different shade of grey there... St-Valentin, being told yes and you vanished... That's probably what she took the worst: the white lie...
But Dee have also a valid point that's true quite often: the "guilt trip"...

Personally, I made myself a rule: if I have no interests whatsoever to dance the girl, I'll say no, no matter who, regular or not. Sometimes, if it's a busy night, I'll tell her almost right away, other times, I'll wait till she ask. If I might get her later, I'll say maybe. I never say come and see me later and I will dance you because I did once and, when she came back, the girl simply (and calmly) told me how it made her feel and said she prefered a simple no or even a maybe the first time but, a yes turning into a no was not nice.

Some girls, even regulars, do understand they don't own customers, some don't. Often at Cleo, I have regulars who sit with me just to chat, even if they saw me reject a bunch of girls before. Some are even genuinely surprised when I finally ask them for dances (or are damn good actresses!).

It's all about setting the rules from the start and not creating impossible expectations I guess... You walk in one day, see your ATF, maybe you could dance somebody else that time, even if you feel like dancing her?

There used to be twins ebony beauties here in Ottawa. They often worked together. Once I figured how to differenciate them, I was switching between both, ensuring I called them by name so they knew there was no confusion. Sometimes I wasn't dancing them at all! They never got mad at me but, I saw them flaming another poor guy who "looked elsewhere"...

 

[Possum Trot]

What have I Learned Today

What has this thread taught me.

I've learned that there is way too much drama at strip clubs. Many customers seem weak and intimidated by aggressive strippers and many strippers are overly sensitive drama queens.

They sounds like places to avoid if you are looking for relaxation and fun.

 

[Merlot]

completly agree...its already happened with me...a guys told me twice he will make me dance and at the end he didnt or left...i didnt look pissed or something, but i was waiting the night he will ask me to dance for him... i just told him to go f*ck himself..now that he needs me...but he didnt have to treat me like his f**k**g stupid lil girlfriend and bullshit me right in my face...he didnt have to lie at me..i aint his wife..i wouldnt be angry if he would refuse...but i hate like hell this kind of liars...and left..without saying "bye"...even without any excuse (well, i would be pissed if he didnt give me any..but still, it would be better to come and talk with me before he left)...i would feel like a stupid b*tch who is waiting her client on the street but pass of front of her and take another one..

Hey, i was receptionnist in an escort agency and some client call to cancel when they booked an appointement earlier...so can you imagine how she could feel?

At the opposite, some client really think they own a girl and doesnt have to justify their mistake because they are paying...but for me, its one of the worse lack of respect in this job...And lucky me, i dont need client to make money...but if this poor lil girl didnt make a penny in this night (its very quiet in the valentine night usually, thats why i never work the february 14th) and she was expecting this client to make her pay the fees to come at work...sorry but its normal she would be pissed like that...she shouldnt be blame at all...not at all!!!

Hello Sweet B,

Yes, excellent points. From the ladies point of view it must be extremely frustrating to have to deal with lost opportunities to earn a living. In my previous post I mentioned how the ladies will schmooze a guy to entice him into a dance. But that is part of the business. It's up to the guy to control his wallet, but that doesn't mean he should make false promises or treat her like an unfeeling piece of meat...as long as she isn't doing the same, because we know it works both ways. And even then the client should be aware of what the realities are. For myself, if I am not interested I let her know as gently as possible right away. If I just got there I explain that I may want to have a dance, but I am limiting expenses and I want to just relax and enjoy the entertainment for a while. Of course sometimes the "presentation" is just too impressive to avoid the temptation. RIGHT B! But, it is up to the guy to control himself and games or lies are unnecessary and just plain rude or rotten. If a guy can't handle the situation and has to rely on tricks or rudeness then he needs to grow up or find other avenues of entertainment. However, some guys love to get themselves off on being assholes to the ladies and have no intention of changing. There are plenty of those...unfortunately.

What has this thread taught me.

I've learned that there is way too much drama at strip clubs. Many customers seem weak and intimidated by aggressive strippers and many strippers are overly sensitive drama queens.

They sounds like places to avoid if you are looking for relaxation and fun.

Yes Possum Trot,

There is foolishness on both sides. But on the balance I think it's the clients who have the control of their wallets and the situation, so therefor it's they who have no reason to be deceptive or act poorly. The ladies are in the more needy position, and though they should also behave maturely the real pressure is on them and some salesmanship is understandable...but not "drama".

Cheers,

Merlot

 

[CLOUD 500]

All you guys have some excellent points. But it was still beyond me that she would have taken it personal. Most of the dancers I encountered whether regular or not I have done this and they get the point(because some girls when I say no get mad or have some rebuttal). If I say later or maybe or yes and am in the club for two hours and still have not taken her for dances then she will know that I will not take her for dances. Maybe as Techman said because it was Valentines Day it got personal for her. I do not know. But I mentioned to this regular many times that I wanted to dance the other girls and did not like when her cousin keeps on asking me for dances every time I am there. So that should have been a hint. But when I said no to her cousin she got mad. An important lesson learned for me. Space out my visits in the club, change girls when I am there, and to simply say "NO" to the aggressive dancers despite their reaction.

 

[CLOUD 500]

Everything you said is right even if I do not like it. In a way I brought it on to myself. I never said "no" because I was worried they would get mad and I do not like girls getting mad at me for saying "no"(it is because I like the attention). But at the end it is about profit and is probably the reason she also got mad because some other girl made money off me instead of her. But I learned an important lesson and am not gonna put myself in this position again. I have been going to the stripclubs for 10 years and never have I found myself in this position. I guess we learn something new everyday .

Hello Cloud,

Sorry, but this story makes me laugh a bit. Put aside for a moment the fact that you play with promises to these ladies and their reactions are your fault in such cases. This is a business. If a business person is playing head games with you to buy their product then you shouldn't be doing business with them. But the real problem is you let them do it. That's probably because you like the attention and want to feel you have something possibly real going with hot women. But it's still business and if you are putting yourself in a position where you can be emotionally manipulated or you are manipulating them then there is bad business going on from both sides. Hey, I have been pressured and/or schmoozed by strippers plenty of times. But I never forget it's about money, and as sweet, beautiful, sexy as they are it always comes down to profits. Only on rare occasions is it not all about money, as with one escort I have known for a long time. But 99% of the time it's about profit. It's a lot of fun to go to strip clubs, but if you are getting caught up in their games as well as play your own then you need to find other entertainment. A real girlfriend would be good for you, but you are an SC addict and girlfriends usually don't like that game either.

If you are going to weave yourself into these games and lose your perspective like this, obviously willingly, then complaining about it is just funny. Yes, it's impossible to control emotions and natural responses to charm and beauty. But, we poor guys all have to deal with that. Still, it is a business you seem to enjoy and instigate making into a personal game. So, if you are determined to jump into a pool of your choice then don't complain about getting wet. It's looks funny to complain about games you yourself seem to love playing, and this situation is your fault. At the very least you are an enabler, at most you provoke this. Be real about it. You are a big part of this problem.

The facts,

Merlot

 

[JustBob]

My advice would be to leave the "yes when you mean no (and vice-versa)" manipulative behavior to women. One, guys aren't any good at it, and two, it gets women all confused when they do it.

... ...

 

[Ben Dover]

Cloud.

I've been guilted by dancers in similar circumstances before and it's always better to tell them maybe later, or not tonight or anything other than YES, if you don't mean it. If they think they own you, it's very easy to set them straight and if they ignore you for a while because of it, consider it a blessing.

Any dancer that gets aggressive with me for dances on a first meeting has basically guaranteed herself not to receive one cent for me, because that behavior drives me nuts. I usually say something like "no thanks, I prefer the girls who are a little more shy" or "I'm waiting for a phone call. Maybe after." or if they are really annoying "no thanks, I only have a few hundred bucks on me and I want to spend it all on one dancer (ie: not you)"

Bottom line, IMHO is just be a man. Don't sneak out to avoid saying no! Don;t buy dances out of guilt and don't fall for (or create) stupid high school-level games.

I'd try going somewhere else for a while if I was you.

BD

WTF's suggestion is pretty good too