Ask us anything part 3

[DouMan]

ok I have a question please

there is a provider i saw many times in like 2021-2022. Then she went away, then she came back and when I saw her in late 2023 early 2024 I asked for her number. I saw her very sporadically in 2024 until once early in 2025.

Well she is back for a month and she let me know via text. Truth is, although I like her as a person a lot, sexually (the kind you pay for) I've lost complete interest.

i am not one to 'ghost people", but I just cant think of a way to tell her i am not interested in seeing her anymore, and within the nature of the biz I wonder if it is just not better to not respond? that seems to be the way a lot of people handle things these days.

Or as a provider, would you rather hear the truth, that, although i still really like you as a person, I just dont want to pay to have sex with you anymore?

Maybe just be clear about the situation and tell her that since you have developped a more personnal relationship together that you do not feel comfortable pursuing the professional sexual experience.

For you there is an important line between the "client" and the "friend". See how far that goes with her.

 

[Fradi]

Obviously they should. One issue is that some clients ask in person and not through text and now they know that some idiots use other member's handles to ask us so they can just give us their handles by text and not prove it. Verbal abuse, humiliation, other types of boundary pushing (non consensual acts, physical aggressiveness & violence) are also things multiple providers have had to deal with, including with certain merb users. It would be great if we could just report abusive members to the mods but I'm not sure if it's realistic..

Yes this is unfortunate but it can also be a weapon.
Who’s to say that unscrupulous SP won’t falsely report people who do not agree with them and who they get pissed at.
Also what has been mentioned that anybody can use someone else’s handle in an email or text to either look for this or to purposely try and get another member banned who they are pissed at.

Anybody that looks for BBFS or is a danger to any SP yes should be banned but this is very difficult to prove.
I will never understand why any guy would be so stupid and selfish to risk his own health and the health of others for this.

 

[LeDodo]

Also what has been mentioned that anybody can use someone else’s handle in an email or text to either look for this or to purposely try and get another member banned who they are pissed at.

For that then the SP can just request a DM from that member on MERB.

I will never understand why any guy would be so stupid and selfish to risk his own health and the health of others for this.

If common sense was so common ...

 

[Rebaynia]

Question for everyone: has anyone ordered a duo where the outcall girl goes to the incall place where another SP from the incall agency and I are waiting for a duo session? Is this bad protocol?

I think the sound of asking an Indy, to go to an agency location might sound weird.

But this sounds similar to an outcall indy going to see a couple.

Personally, I would like to have a private discussion about boundaries and expectations for the duo before being part of a duo. I wouldn't want to feel like we were competing, or either of us to feel like 1 is doing too much, or not enough. Like a PSE incall, but a GFE outcall provider might cause an odd pairing when 1 does so much more outside the GFE providers comfort zone.

While a conversation between the 2 providers beforehand can make a world of difference to having say a cohesive duo GFE, or duo PSE, with clarity of everyone's boundaries, and one where there has been no comunication. Not everyone is ready to walk into a complete unknown.

 

[Rebaynia]

Or as a provider, would you rather hear the truth, that, although i still really like you as a person, I just dont want to pay to have sex with you anymore?

Ok truth might be a little hard to hear.

I don't encourage lieing, but if there is a truth you can say?

-I met someone recently. (She doesn't need to be told it is a new SP.)
-I am not available to meet up. (Because I don't want to be available.)

You could ghost, or give any reason you want. It isn't a relationship, you don't owe her a meeting, but you want to spare her the rejection, I would hope.

You could even just say you are looking to not spend money you can avoid spending at the moment. No one needs a reason to try to avoid spending. Economy is messed up for everyone these days.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Yes this is unfortunate but it can also be a weapon.
Who’s to say that unscrupulous SP won’t falsely report people who do not agree with them and who they get pissed at.
Also what has been mentioned that anybody can use someone else’s handle in an email or text to either look for this or to purposely try and get another member banned who they are pissed at.

Anybody that looks for BBFS or is a danger to any SP yes should be banned but this is very difficult to prove.
I will never understand why any guy would be so stupid and selfish to risk his own health and the health of others for this.

No that's not how it works, the mods won't ban someone unless we have either a personal proof from elsewhere or the person messaged us here. You have to have a screenshot of the person mentioning their username.

What do you think we'd have to gain from lying about something like this? There are users I really don't like here lol but it wouldn't serve me, other SP and other clients to lie about them doing something to me if I've never even seen them.

ok I have a question please

there is a provider i saw many times in like 2021-2022. Then she went away, then she came back and when I saw her in late 2023 early 2024 I asked for her number. I saw her very sporadically in 2024 until once early in 2025.

Well she is back for a month and she let me know via text. Truth is, although I like her as a person a lot, sexually (the kind you pay for) I've lost complete interest.

i am not one to 'ghost people", but I just cant think of a way to tell her i am not interested in seeing her anymore, and within the nature of the biz I wonder if it is just not better to not respond? that seems to be the way a lot of people handle things these days.

Or as a provider, would you rather hear the truth, that, although i still really like you as a person, I just dont want to pay to have sex with you anymore?

I don't think you should tell her that because it could make her feel like she's unattractive.. honestly we aren't in relationships with our clients and they don't owe us anything. If a client isn't interested in booking me I'd rather just hear him clearly say that instead of wasting my time and saying "I really like you as a person but I don't find you attractive enough to pay you for sex anymore "...

 

[philonius]

On the topic of duos, I know the norm with indys is to match the higher rate but since some have a differential in play options/rates as well as social rates, I've been finding that asking each individually if they're cool with the other in a duo and then adding them both to an email and saying "$X is what I have set aside for this night, here's a couple things I would be open to, and I'd like to play for at least Y hours, can we make this work?" and letting them come to an agreement seems to be working out for me, but is it the wrong way to go about it?

 

[Rebaynia]

On the topic of duos, I know the norm with indys is to match the higher rate but since some have a differential in play options/rates as well as social rates, I've been finding that asking each individually if they're cool with the other in a duo and then adding them both to an email and saying "$X is what I have set aside for this night, here's a couple things I would be open to, and I'd like to play for at least Y hours, can we make this work?" and letting them come to an agreement seems to be working out for me, but is it the wrong way to go about it?

Well at least you are giving them the opportunity to discuss with eachother their parameters.

It can also help to ask a provider if they have prefered duo partners and what their prices are.

 

[philonius]

Well at least you are giving them the opportunity to discuss with eachother their parameters.

It can also help to ask a provider if they have prefered duo partners and what their prices are.

Yeah, I usually go with their preferred partners or just ask them to pick someone they trust we will vibe with (and sometimes keep it a surprise, which has been so incredibly hot) but recently I've had to do some multi-sp outings because I have too many I want to see when I come to MTL that it's the only way to see my faves in one trip.

 

[jeffmathers]

No that's not how it works, the mods won't ban someone unless we have either a personal proof from elsewhere or the person messaged us here. You have to have a screenshot of the person mentioning their username.

What do you think we'd have to gain from lying about something like this? There are users I really don't like here lol but it wouldn't serve me, other SP and other clients to lie about them doing something to me if I've never even seen them.

I don't think you should tell her that because it could make her feel like she's unattractive.. honestly we aren't in relationships with our clients and they don't owe us anything. If a client isn't interested in booking me I'd rather just hear him clearly say that instead of wasting my time and saying "I really like you as a person but I don't find you attractive enough to pay you for sex anymore "...

Yeah people forget what the situation is.

 

[Fradi]

On the topic of duos, I know the norm with indys is to match the higher rate but since some have a differential in play options/rates as well as social rates, I've been finding that asking each individually if they're cool with the other in a duo and then adding them both to an email and saying "$X is what I have set aside for this night, here's a couple things I would be open to, and I'd like to play for at least Y hours, can we make this work?" and letting them come to an agreement seems to be working out for me, but is it the wrong way to go about it?

I think most would be kind of insulted by it. and I would tend to agree with them. Although there has been a trend to offer specials in duos by various ladies doing exactly that coming to a mid point price arrangement for both.

I wouldn’t mind booking one of their duo specials seeing as they are making the offer but trying to negotiate one when it isn’t offered no I would never do that.
I accept that if I am going to book a duo the higher priced ladies rate will apply to both, to me that is fair and the right thing to do and any gentleman should be prepared to accept that. It would be improper and demeaning to pay one of them less in a duo and I don’t negotiate with SP I can either afford to pay what they ask or not.

 

[LeDodo]

On the topic of duos, I know the norm with indys is to match the higher rate but since some have a differential in play options/rates as well as social rates, I've been finding that asking each individually if they're cool with the other in a duo and then adding them both to an email and saying "$X is what I have set aside for this night, here's a couple things I would be open to, and I'd like to play for at least Y hours, can we make this work?" and letting them come to an agreement seems to be working out for me, but is it the wrong way to go about it?

I've been wondering about the logistics of more than 2 ...

 

[Fradi]

What do you think we'd have to gain from lying about something like this? There are users I really don't like here lol but it wouldn't serve me, other SP and other clients to lie about them doing something to me if I've never even seen them.

With the tit for tat all out cat fights recently between providers and the often bad blood fights between Merbites themselves logic and common sense does not always prevail.
Nothing surprises me anymore in this industry or the people involved in it.
This is not a personal thing, I agree with you that you would never do this, nothing about you or the way you answer things would suggest that.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

On the topic of duos, I know the norm with indys is to match the higher rate but since some have a differential in play options/rates as well as social rates, I've been finding that asking each individually if they're cool with the other in a duo and then adding them both to an email and saying "$X is what I have set aside for this night, here's a couple things I would be open to, and I'd like to play for at least Y hours, can we make this work?" and letting them come to an agreement seems to be working out for me, but is it the wrong way to go about it?

I've seen people do this before. some of us are okay with it, some are not. I've often had clients refuse to match my donation to my duo partner, and I accepted it because I didn't want to lose the opportunity to do a duo since I really enjoy them.. but it's really ideal to match the rates. you are also mentioning different options. Once, I had a duo with a provider who had a PSE option. I assume the client saw that because he treated her very differently from me, he matched our rates (her GFE rate was higher than mine) but he did not pay for PSE.. He was a lot more rowdy with her and it made me really uncomfortable. I think it's important to discuss everything with both duo partners.

 

[Rebaynia]

In the spirit of duo conversations.

Rather than hear about how pricy it can be. My partners and I know what our shared prices are. For either GFE or PSE. But curious, what your idea of reasonable prices are. (Not lowest low bottom barrel price, but reasonable.)

FS-
GFE-
PSE-

Do you see it as a bonus or discount if it is less than the double of the higher earner?

I am also curious if agencies have duo rates?

Call it market research.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

With the tit for tat all out cat fights recently between providers and the often bad blood fights between Merbites themselves logic and common sense does not always prevail.
Nothing surprises me anymore in this industry or the people involved in it.
This is not a personal thing, I agree with you that you would never do this, nothing about you or the way you answer things would suggest that.

Thank you for recognizing this. I am going to put this out there. If someone goes after a friend of mine or myself, I will defend myself or the friend in question, but I would never try to sabotage this person's business, publish slander about them online or gossip about them with clients.

Also, I will be real. There are Merb users I really dislike because I find they lack empathy and are cruel, but I am not going to make up something false about them just to be vindictive. I would say that's the same thing with most providers I know, we all have people we don't like online, but if we haven't seen them in person and they haven't treated us with disrespect in person or during a booking process, it actually hurts everyone to invent something about them. The thing is, I have said it, there has been Merb users who have done disrespectful things to me. I am not about to go on a crusade against them because I don't have the energy for it, but if how some clients who publish reviews here were exposed for how they treat certain providers, their reviews would not be seen the same way.

 

[Fradi]

In the spirit of duo conversations.

Rather than hear about how pricy it can be. My partners and I know what our shared prices are. For either GFE or PSE. But curious, what your idea of reasonable prices are. (Not lowest low bottom barrel price, but reasonable.)

FS-
GFE-
PSE-

Do you see it as a bonus or discount if it is less than the double of the higher earner?

Call it market research.

I will not differentiate between the 3 things as I kind of let things happen as it develops with GFE being the usual request l also don’t like a menu but if DFK or at the least LFK and BB Blow Job is not included then it is a non starter.
I think a 90 minute ( 1 hour is way too short ) duo with 2 well reviewed and gorgeous SP costing anywhere from $1000-$1500 is fair and something I would consider and have done.
I don’t really care what the ladies agree to I always assume it will be double the rate of the more expensive lady if their rates are not the same. This to me is the right thing to do unless they themselves are advertising a special.

 

[jeffmathers]

Thank you for recognizing this. I am going to put this out there. If someone goes after a friend of mine or myself, I will defend myself or the friend in question, but I would never try to sabotage this person's business, publish slander about them online or gossip about them with clients.

There are Merb users I really dislike because I don't like their attitude, but I am not going to make up something false about them just to be vindictive. I would say that's the same thing with most providers I know, we all have people we don't like online, but if we haven't seen them in person and they haven't treated us with disrespect in person or during a booking process, it actually hurts everyone to invent something about them. The thing is, I have said it, there has been Merb users who have done disrespectful things to me. I am not about to go on a crusade against them because I don't have the energy for it, but if how some clients who publish reviews here were exposed for how they treat certain providers, their reviews would not be seen the same way.

I wish there was a punishment for the merbites who physically hurt providers and cross boundaries. They just post and spread their opinions without a care in the world.

 

[Fradi]

I wish there was a punishment for the merbites who physically hurt providers and cross boundaries. They just post and spread their opinions without a care in the world.

This makes no sense whatsoever.
I agree whole heartedly that anybody hurting any woman physically or crossing their boundaries should be punished SP or civilian.

Just how exactly do opinions do that ( pretty hard to harm someone physically with an opinion). Everybody has one and is entitled to one there is no prerequisite to agree with it. Some may just consider yours harmful lol.

 

[philonius]

I think most would be kind of insulted by it. and I would tend to agree with them. Although there has been a trend to offer specials in duos by various ladies doing exactly that coming to a mid point price arrangement for both.

I wouldn’t mind booking one of their duo specials seeing as they are making the offer but trying to negotiate one when it isn’t offered no I would never do that.
I accept that if I am going to book a duo the higher priced ladies rate will apply to both, to me that is fair and the right thing to do and any gentleman should be prepared to accept that. It would be improper and demeaning to pay one of them less in a duo and I don’t negotiate with SP I can either afford to pay what they ask or not.

To clarify: I'm not negotiating rates at all in this situation. I say "this is what I'm comfortable spending (ideally with these couple ideas in mind), what can we do with this?" and the amount total is greater than the sum of the highest rate x 2 so it's they don't generally have to come down on anything, but rather how we spend our time, and who gets what $ (if I'm gonna spend more time with one vs the other), is the only thing they have to decide.

As an example, in one scenario they both agreed to spend equal time all three of us together, some social and some play, and they split the total evenly (in line with the most expensive sp rates). In another scenario, one wanted to do dinner beforehand and the other was going to meet us at the hotel afterwards, so the breakdown was $X for one, $Y(less) for the other.