Ask us anything part 3

[MCTJ]

I think someone who sees escorts very frequently certainly has a sex addiction or something that is lacking in their personal lives that they couldn't fulfill with regular dating and friendships. It's interesting that a lot of women are not seen as attractive by society and they don't seek escort services, instead they work on their friendships, they focus on their family relationships and they practice various forms of self care. I know someone is going to say ''men would fuck anything that moves so these women can have the sex they want anyways'' but this is simply not what happens, these women aren't trying to seek sexual services or paid companionship.

The reasons behind that–and I am again going to draw on evolutionary psychology–are that 1) men have, on average, a higher sex drive than women. This is a rock solid finding in psychology; 2) it is particularly difficult to access women's reproductive resources (i.e. most women in society are picky when it comes time to chosing a sexual partner) 3) many older men are in sexless marriage. These three facts explain why there is a large market for sexual services provided by women, and a tiny market for sexual services provided by men catering to women.

 

[Enjoying life]

But it's presumptuous to assume that lack of success on the dating scene is the main reason why men become regular clients of escorts and that the reason why men lack success in the dating scene is because they are physically unattractive. Obviously if men want to have a lot of sex with a lot of different women for free, being attractive and charming will help, but that's not the same as dating. A lot of clients who see escorts on a regular basis are between 40 and 70 and they have the money for it. A lot of them are already married, divorced or separated. The men who book escorts very very often usually book shorter appointments as well, which leaves little room for emotional connection and socializing.

I think someone who sees escorts very frequently certainly has a sex addiction or something that is lacking in their personal lives that they couldn't fulfill with regular dating and friendships. It's interesting that a lot of women are not seen as attractive by society and they don't seek escort services, instead they work on their friendships, they focus on their family relationships and they practice various forms of self care. I know someone is going to say ''men would fuck anything that moves so these women can have the sex they want anyways'' but this is simply not what happens, these women aren't trying to seek sexual services or paid companionship, and they are not looking for sex with various men either unless they have other issues.

I think maybe some men tell themselves ''aw man, I don't have any success with dating so I will book an escort'' then they book 2,3,4,5,6.. they become addicted, they start writing reviews online, they become really invested in the world of escorting etc. This isn't about them not having success with dating anymore. I've had clients who told me they were lonely and had little luck with dating and they did book me a couple times and maybe 2 or 3 other escorts but this wasn't enough for them.. They moved on to something else. A lot of my clients just see me and a few other girls or they are ''loyal'' and when they want to see someone they choose to see me.. and it'll be for a period of time until they move on to something else. Or it's something they do on ''special occasions'' like during a vacation or for a holiday or their birthday or something.

You're forgetting that the vast majority of people could never afford to see escorts on a regular basis, even at low rates. I think if you have the money to book escorts all the time, it can be convenient to do this instead of working on yourself.. And I'm saying this with 0 judgement because there are definitely things I pay for on a regular basis that might not be the best thing for me and are sort of crutches, so I get it. (no, I am not talking about drugs)

Well, when you go on dates being asked if you own a home or are you getting a promotion it has nothing to do with looks it’s about material things!

 

[MCTJ]

This will do nothing in answering my original question, but I will make a poll asking merb clients to self-rate their physical attractiveness, once my current poll on friendship ends. Should be interesting.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

The reasons behind that–and I am again going to draw on evolutionary psychology–are that 1) men have, on average, a higher sex drive than women. This is a rock solid finding in psychology; 2) it is particularly difficult to access women's reproductive resources (i.e. most women in society are picky when it comes time to chosing a sexual partner) 3) many older men are in sexless marriage. These three facts explain why there is a large market for sexual services provided by women, and a tiny market for sexual services provided by men catering to women.

I knew you were going to say that but this is still beside the point I'm trying to make.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

This will do nothing in answering my original question, but I will make a poll asking merb clients to self-rate their physical attractiveness, once my current poll on friendship ends. Should be interesting.

I feel like you are looking for a specific answer, you want us to agree with your theory that clients of escort are ugly and have no friends. I find it more relevant to ask ourselves about their mental health and their empathy levels, in order to make sure everyone's happy..

 

[LeDodo]

I love to read you. Smart, opinionated, polite.

OT

Yes when Luna replies

 

[MCTJ]

I feel like you are looking for a specific answer, you want us to agree with your theory that clients of escort are ugly and have no friends. I find it more relevant to ask ourselves about their mental health and their empathy levels.

Although I did not state it clearly, it was indeed my hypothesis (not my theory). You convinced me that among clients at large, there is probably no difference in average attractiveness vs the whole population. This led me to refine my hypothesis that, with respect to regular clients, they must different significantly both physically and psychologically from the general population. I will try to see this weekend if I can find some studies that support (or not) this hypothesis.

 

[Rebaynia]

I'm not praising clients by saying this or trying to appease anybody.

100%

I said what I said, escort clients are not less attractive. They're not more attractive, either.

Clients are regular, normal men. I agree with Luna 100%. How they look is the same as walking into a grocery store.
We see the public, who is interested in us. If I was a store, the clients I see are the ones who walk into my store. Those that don't enter, aren't any more or less attractive.

Obviously very attractive young men are much less likely to book escorts on a regular basis...

LoL, you need to advertise older for those. MILF is quite a thing. I very much enjoy quite a selection of attractive young men.

Then surely  regular escort clients must be less attractive on average if we assume that lack of success on the dating scene is one of the reasons that lead men to become regular clients.

You are assuming far too much. What are you trying to say? That someone has to be unfortunate looking to search for a companion?
There are married men, newly divorced men, men who just don't have a life that makes dating possible, men who just don't have the confidence to put themselves out there, some who have and got tired of getting hurt. You, clients, are a collection of very different people all seeing providers for whatever reason you are seeking them for. But you are just as public and variety as the men who go to the grocery store.

The only way that this could not be true is if other more powerful factors lead very attractive men to become regulars and I struggle to see what this could be.

Online dating culture. Everyone is looking for a solid 10 across the board. No one is perfect and everyone has inflated expectations, judging others on looks, rather than understanding the quality of the person. I tell many of my lovlies, I'm surprised they aren't being caught up in relationships.

I've always said that it's unfortunate that there is a lack of research on sex workers and their clients. Most of the research has been done on street based sex workers which does not always translate well to the incall/outcall agency model that we know. I'll try to find interesting studies.

I think the problem here is you are trying to make being a client a bad or shameful thing, that just because someone is attractive they don't call escorts. It's not about how you look. It's about what adventure you're looking for. You don't need to be unattractive to seek out making fantasies realities, or to think that time with someone you find attractive is worth spending money for. I think I am more offended by what you are saying here than the men on this board, and what you are implying here.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Although I did not state it clearly, it was indeed my hypothesis (not my theory). You convinced me that among clients at large, there is probably no difference in average attractiveness vs the whole population. This led me to refine my hypothesis that, with respect to regular clients, they must different significantly both physically and psychologically from the general population. I will try to see this weekend if I can find some studies that support (or not) this hypothesis.

There is a difference but once again I still think the main one is psychological.. The difference I generally see between my clients who are active on merb & visit a lot of escorts, and the others, is in their attitude mostly.. I could discuss that with you in private, I don't want to continue this conversation here. And remember that when i'm saying that i'm making a generalization based on all the clients i've seen, things i read here and stories i've heard from colleagues. We've also had conversations about this before but I'd be happy to share again

 

[MCTJ]

I think I am more offended by what you are saying here than the men on this board, and what you are implying here.

I am sorry that you are offended. I came in with a provocative question, but Luna offered interesting personal insights than led me to refine my thoughts and to integrate psychological aspects as well. Contrary to the woke crowd that dominate universities in social science and pseudo-science, I am open to changing my mind based on information or opinions that are presented to me.

 

[Zero_Six]

It's about what adventure you're looking for.

Exactly. I had a friend that was never single for more than a week at a time in his life. Even he saw a few escorts. Not because he couldn't get laid otherwise but because he chose to. Maybe he had a certain kink, maybe he wanted to experience hiring an SP, maybe because he just didn't want to deal with all the games that are often associated with dating or even just hooking up. Everyone has their own reason for seeing an SP.

 

[Zero_Six]

woke crowd

Nevermind. I thought this was an actual discussion.

 

[Rebaynia]

Although I did not state it clearly, it was indeed my hypothesis (not my theory). You convinced me that among clients at large, there is probably no difference in average attractiveness vs the whole population. This led me to refine my hypothesis that, with respect to regular clients, they must different significantly both physically and psychologically from the general population. I will try to see this weekend if I can find some studies that support (or not) this hypothesis.

Why are you trying to support negative hypothesis of clients who request time with escorts? You are being rather insulting in your assumptions about who would contact us for company.

Again, it is all people's, from all walks of life, with any 1 of a million different reasons.

Let's confuse you even more.... Not every single one of them even wants sex as a result of that time.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Hey fun fact, did you guys know that the word ''woke'' originally meant, and still mostly means, ''anti racist'' and pro human rights? It's AAVE and originates from the 1930's, when the United States was heavily segregated. A couple decades after slavery was abolished. Just saying.

 

[MCTJ]

Nevermind. I thought this was an actual discussion.

Did you read the words that surround the words "woke crowd" in my sentence? Because if there are dogmatic and anti-scientific people in universities, it is definitely the woke crowd. They have proven it over and over again in the past 12 years, and their time in the spotlight is over. I have shown the opposite mindset in my brief interactions here this evening, as my posts can attest.

 

[Rebaynia]

I am sorry that you are offended. I came in with a provocative question, but Luna offered interesting personal insights than led me to refine my thoughts and to integrate psychological aspects as well. Contrary to the woke crowd that dominate universities in social science and pseudo-science, I am open to changing my mind based on information or opinions that are presented to me.

I read your origional question, and thought it so insulting to clients it didn't warrant an answer, but as I kept reading, you showed just how distasteful your origional question was ment to be.

 

[MCTJ]

Hey fun fact, did you guys know that the word ''woke'' originally meant, and still mostly means, ''anti racist'' and pro human rights? It's AAVE and originates from the 1930's, when the United States was heavily segregated. A couple decades after slavery was abolished. Just saying.

Originally yes, but it has come to define something larger, which is a belief that all differences in outcomes between identifiable groups (based on race, gender, sexual orientation or ability) and the general population must be due to racism, sexism or ableism. Decades of psychological research has proven that this is not the case.

 

[MCTJ]

I read your origional question, and thought it so insulting to clients it didn't warrant an answer, but as I kept reading, you showed just how distasteful your origional question was ment to be.

Then feel free to ignore my posts.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Originally yes, but it has come to define something larger, which is a belief that all differences in outcomes between identifiable groups (based on race, gender, sexual orientation or ability) must be due to racism, sexism or ableism. Decades of psychological research has proven that this is not the case.

I don't really know what any of this has to do with our answers to your question.. or at least not mine. I agree that a lot of these so called woke people in universities are out of touch with reality and lack nuance, but isn't saying that regular clients of escorts are mostly ugly and have no friends also without nuance? idk

 

[Zero_Six]

Did you read the words that surround the words "woke crowd" in my sentence? Because if there are dogmatic and anti-scientific people in universities, it is definitely the woke crowd. They have proven it over and over again in the past 12 years, and their time in the spotlight is over. I have shown the opposite mindset in my brief interactions here this evening, as my posts can attest.

If you want anyone that isn't far-right to take you seriously, don't use the term woke. It's original meaning was "aware of the racism and inequality in our society". The far-right has co-opted it for themselves to basically mean "Anything I don't like but can't go into detail about because that would make it apparent that I'm racist/bigoted/a shitty human being".

I'm not even really sure what you mean when you say "if there are dogmatic and anti-scientific people in universities, it is definitely the woke crowd". Just adding the word woke might work for the far-right, but I prefer an actual explanation of what you mean. With the way the word is thrown around these days I might think you just mean non-white people or gay people. It's such a vague term that I have no idea what you actually mean.

Also - "dogmatic and anti-scientific". Are you sure you didn't to the bible thumpers? They're the ones that tend to get in the way of progress and they certainly aren't "woke".