Ask us anything part 3

[Sylar]

When I first started posting here, I thought it would be refreshing to offer my (and other SP's) point of view on certain subjects, but I don't feel 100% safe saying my opinion on everything here, and I am not completely sure that there is a willingness to listen to what I have to say.. And I'm wondering if this is affecting my business positively or negatively, particularly since I'm not constantly being seductive.

It's only my personal opinion, but every post I have seen from you in the different threads have been positive, constructive and well formulated, no matter the topic. I would say that your presence here on the board has had a positive impact. Which definitely isn't the case for every SP. Now if you deterred some potential clients with your writing, maybe that was for the best as it would not have been a good match in person either? You might lose on some revenue, but you are gaining in mental health and well-being.

 

[Fradi]

My question to you is the following : why would a SP post here if it's not to gain attention or advertise her services? I understand that it's impolite to take over threads and take up all the space, but as far as I'm concerned, the SP's I see here are interacting with the intention of bettering their reputation and getting more bookings..

When I first started posting here, I thought it would be refreshing to offer my (and other SP's) point of view on certain subjects, but I don't feel 100% safe saying my opinion on everything here, and I am not completely sure that there is a willingness to listen to what I have to say.. And I'm wondering if this is affecting my business positively or negatively, particularly since I'm not constantly being seductive.

I would think an SP would like to be understood would like to offer her opinion on how a client could improve many things when they go see them.
They can also improve the over all image of SP and not just be here to improve their business, that they do anyway by advertising as a paid advertiser.

Is it affecting your business, yes for sure we are all human and react to to your comments, but I think that works to your benefit.
I may not agree with some of your comments but that is normal I am sure you don’t agree with many things I post.
It is how you present yourself overall that counts and for you I think it is a definite plus as you come across as a gentle kind hearted young lady who goes out of her way to be nice to everyone, perhaps maybe even too fragile for this industry which I am sure is very demanding emotionally and physically.

 

[Sylar]

What is an example of a bad encounter you could prevent by seeing how somebody posts here?

When I say "bad" I mean "not a good match for me". It doesn't mean that they are horrible SPs or human beings. The way someone articulates reveals quite a bit about themselves, their world view, how they approach life and general vibe.

There used to be an SP who was quite active on the board for a short time. She was funny (hilarious even) and probably a woman I'd enjoy hanging out to have beers and shots with. But just the way she wrote I could never imagine myself being intimate with her. I am not sure if this makes sense?

 

[Sylar]

I've received DM's from people saying I was being "too vulnerable" or "revealing too much".

I do partially agree with this. I can tell you are a good and gentle person, and thus there will be people trying to take advantage. Unless it's beneficial for you in any way, I would not reveal things that could be used against you.

 

[Sylar]

Like I said, I have had several members of the board text me, from day one, inquiring about services that are not part of what I offer, and doing so in a very manipulative way. For instance, one member told me he would only book me if "the quality of my services" was enough for him, and to him that meant I had to allow him to FF me. Which.. If you see my online presence, read my website, read my ads, it's easy to tell that I don't offer that acronym. This just happened last week. So I guess maybe you're right, if I keep being genuine, it will attract the right clients and push away the wrong ones.

I consider this a win! You are filtering those out in DMs instead of having to meet them in person.

 

[DouMan]

My question to you is the following : why would a SP post here if it's not to gain attention or advertise her services?

Gain attention?
Anyone that posts gains attention be it either negatively or positively. Of course there may be diverging opinions, it's normal and expected since society is not or should not be all the same color.

Advertise services?
That's a very slippery slope and if done outside of proper threads and not following board rules Mods will rapidly pick up and act on that.

In the end it's pretty simple and we often read it ... if we wouldn't say something in person then it probably shouldn't be written here.

Don't worry, you come across as a nice, kind hearted person. All will be just fine.

 

[MichelleMontreal]

My question to you is the following : why would a SP post here if it's not to gain attention or advertise her services? I understand that it's impolite to take over threads and take up all the space, but as far as I'm concerned, the SP's I see here are interacting with the intention of bettering their reputation and getting more bookings..

When I first started posting here, I thought it would be refreshing to offer my (and other SP's) point of view on certain subjects, but I don't feel 100% safe saying my opinion on everything here, and I am not completely sure that there is a willingness to listen to what I have to say.. And I'm wondering if this is affecting my business positively or negatively, particularly since I'm not constantly being seductive.

Honestly, I don't think I'm a good match for anyone who posts even semi regularly here (I'm fat, weird, and old ). I''m here to learn and pass the time, with the added bonus of perving out on pictures of pretty ladies.

 

[LC18]

Posting here is just a way for me to confirm I exist. I am not hoping this will increase the number of bookings from active members because the active members I’ve seen posting here seem to be more into agencies and massage parlours for financial reasons.

So to me it’s really more of a “if I was AI generated, would I be posting selfies and threads here?”

 

[LC18]

That's a good point! but even then, somebody's assistant could be posting for them.

I don’t overthink it and I think most people don’t as well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[DouMan]

For instance, one member told me he would only book me if "the quality of my services" was enough for him

This ignorant Neanderthal approach is nothing new and far from being an isolated incident.

It is the perfect example of a Mommy's little boy rubbing his dick off in the basement and thinking he's a big boy that will have all women at his feet. In other words a fkn, low-life idiot.

As @Sylar said it helped you filter out a jackass you don't want nor need.

 

[Sylar]

Because I'm not a 20 year old submissive anal PSE freak Barbie with huge tits and long hair and a bubble butt and a tiny waist and the face of a 14 year old I'm not a good match for a lot of people here LOL (I'm creating this image based on the information I'm gathering reading posts and reviews)

And I think that is totally fine.
You do not need to cater to the mass market. Especially as an Indie it's up to you to find your own niche and build a brand around that to attract the people who value what you are comfortable offering.

 

[Jazzman1218]

I am conscious of that and it's not just in this industry that people have tried to take advantage. It's very annoying when it happens, and very draining, and I just shut it down. I haven't accepted anything that went against my boundaries and I think I've made it clear on my social media what my boundaries were and what I find acceptable or not. Yes, there have been several members of this board who have taken advantage of me before I started advertising here. There are still members who try now, and I just shut it down or find clever ways to push them away. I'm capable of seeing it, and it's annoying. I wish there was more of a culture of consent and respect in spaces like this.

Be yourself and never apologize for the experience you provide - just like you'd never apologize for your art. Set your boundaries and make them clear to your clients. Any clients you lose are ones you don't want anyway. There are plenty of respectable gentlemen out there who would love to share time with you. Build up a clientele of repeat gentlemen, and you'll be just fine.

 

[Jazzman1218]

It's not that easy to get repeat clients.. and as I was mentioning in DMs with someone, yes I do have regulars and repeat clients, but they don't always stay for a long time. When the summer began, a lot of regular clients and repeat clients stopped seeing me. A lot of the clients I saw in 2023 didn't continue seeing me in 2024, and I gained a new clientele. The industry is always fluctuating I guess

Good points. It must be difficult too because Montreal provides so many options for men. There are so many beautiful women, like yourself, there.

 

[Jazzman1218]

That's one of the reasons. One reason is that my rates used to be lower than average for an indy and that attracted a lot of new clients who had never seen a SP before and clients who usually see agency girls. I didn't make more money at the time.. the agency clientele is not for me, and the "new clients" just wanted to try something different and move on with their lives.

Another reason is that a lot of my favorite clients don't live in Montreal and can't always be here, so I only got to see them 1 to 3 times.

I also think there's an effect of idealization that occurs when a client meets a new SP who isn't part of the norm. A lot of clients tell me they like that I'm different from most SP's and that can be positive but it creates certain expectations. Some of them end up deciding that seeing SP's is not for them or they end up going back to what they're used to because they don't want to get emotionally attached or they are afraid that the spell will be broken.

Another large part of my clients is men who are heart broken, going through a divorce or a period of celibacy after a break up. A lot of them are lonely and I provide warmth and comfort for them, but of course once they get out of that phase they stop seeing me, and that's perfectly normal

It's complicated for sure. Sometimes all you can do is what Bob Dylan sang just "keep on keeping on". Hang on and hang in there.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

It's complicated for sure. Sometimes all you can do is what Bob Dylan sang just "keep on keeping on". Hang on and hang in there.

For sure! I'm complaining and stressing a lot, but despite all of this, I'm really lucky. I had bookings all summer and the past few weeks have been fully booked for me.
I think it's time to practice a little bit of gratitude right now.

 

[MCTJ]

I think it's time to practice a little bit of gratitude right now.

As the say on Facebook: Merci la vie!

 

[Nachoy]

For your clients.
Would you prefer all regulars or have mix of both new with regulars?

 

[Julia Sky]

For your clients.
Would you prefer all regulars or have mix of both new with regulars?

A mix of both, because having sex with a total stranger for the first time turns me on.

But in my ideal world I would only see new clients in contexts that include social time outside, and reserve the rest of my schedule to my favorite regulars.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

A mix of both, because having sex with a total stranger for the first time turns me on.

But in my ideal world I would only see new clients in contexts that include social time outside, and reserve the rest of my schedule to my favorite regulars.

I feel the same way about meeting new clients in contexts that include social time!

 

[zob1234]

The two first threads were starting to be very long but here there are:
Ask us anything part 1
Ask us anything part 2


Here’s your chance to ask anything related to the industry whether you’re a client a curious about providers or a provider asking clients. Please respect those simple rules:

• do not ask about trauma related questions such as “what was your worst experience?” “Have you ever been attacked?” “how often are you scared to be r**ed?” “I’ve you ever been beat up by someone’s p**mp?” Those type of questions could be triggering to some.

• be respectful

• it’s impossible at this point to not repeat a question that’s been asked in part 1 or 2 but try not to ask the same questions again and again.

is it ok to go see an sp as a 19y/o
and will most of them decline me?