Average age of hobbyists

[jalimon]

As a FOB, I used to know a lot of international students, some of them are very sexually frustrated, including me... very few told me that they were pissed... because they cannot get Canadian girls while its not unusual for white guys dating "their women"... it was not easy to get girls in their own community either. Not sure if they ended up seeing escorts since I never discuss it with them.

I lived the opposite. I was once for a few months working in another country and I was very popular with woman down there. I was popular not because I looked like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, I was popular because I was gentle and nice. I was in a country notoriously famous for men treating female like shit.

Cheers,

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I think it is narcissistic to take one's own life experience and profile and declare that everyone else should follow it.

I also think it is emotionally unhealthy to consider seeing escorts as some type of failure, and argue that it is better to "fail" in a person's 50s and 60s as opposed to earlier in life.

Commercial sex is a fucking transaction, not some dramatic life choice. If a young guy has the money, see an escort if he wants to. His dick works better in his 20s and 30s than later. There is nothing keeping him from pursuing a girlfriend the day after he sees an escort. And if he has a girlfriend, he learns the skill of not telling her everything and compartmentalizing his life. A lot of guys who started seeing escorts in their 50s wish they had learned that skill earlier.

You guys act like everyone has the exact life experience. In the modern economy, that is much less true than in previous generations. Somewhere out there exists a young medical student who will study more hours than any of us can imagine and put in residency shifts equivalent to three jobs. When he hits his peak earning years, he will get more "civilian" pussy thrown at him than he can handle. I think it is great if he sees escorts while in his 20s. What right do a bunch of guys in the 40-60 year old range have to tell him that they can buy something and he can't? Name something else in the economy where that happens?

I do not think you understand, we are giving our opinion of a question that is asked. No one has to follow it,it is just our opinion. I see my son and friends with females all the time and do not think for a second that they would spend money on an escort. When I was younger I have never had the need for an escort and did not seek one until after my divorce. My thoughts now are I would probably see an escort just to avoid the search and mating rituals to accomplish a sexual encounter.

 

[EagerBeaver]

My thoughts now are I would probably see an escort just to avoid the search and mating rituals to accomplish a sexual encounter.

What's left unsaid here is that young guys actually have more time on their hands to invest in the dating rituals. When you are in college or grad school or living under Mommy And Daddy's roof and do not have to pay a mortgage, there is time on the hands that can actually be spent on the dating rituals. However if you are a professional working long hours and then must invest free time on business marketing and dining/socializing with clients, there is precious little time to accomplish anything other than Pay for Play.

When I was in my 20s I dated, had a few girlfriends and one serious one for about 2 years. After grad school, I went a long time off the dating scene just struggling to build myself professionally and gain experience. Once I achieved my professional comfort level is when I returned to hobbying and it was after age 35 that I began paying for sex on a serial basis, for no other reason than it was easier and in some ways as affordable as dating, considering what I wanted.

As Oliver has said, guys paying for sex in their 20s is a recipe for developing poor social skills and spoliation. It's healthy and normal to have women in your lives, and not just as sexual partners but some as completely platonic friends. I maintain a cadre of female friends I have dinner and coffee with and they are completely platonic relationships. Some are friends from college or law school, some do charitable fundraising work with my charity of choice, and some belong to various civic organizations and I have business or marketing connections to them. My concern if that these guys who pay for play at an early age become socially retarded as far as developing normal relationships- including platonic relationships with women. Social skills should always be developed, and not stunted.

I do recall one young guy who appeared at the parties some years ago, who told me he was petrified of women in real life. Even at the escort parties he was afraid to approach and speak to escorts, and he almost had a nervous breakdown when an escort he liked walked into the room. This guy had a serious social anxiety disorder of some kind, and it wasn't being treated by using his meager earnings to pay for escorts. He needed to develop social skills with woman and it was borderline criminal to allow this guy to see escorts and invite him to parties. A man has to learn to socially stand on his own two feet and cultivate relationships naturally. This guy sought me out at a party and described in detail his anxiety with women and I did not know how to counsel him. In retrospect I should have told him more firmly to leave the hobby immediately, which he eventually did. At the parties I have seen other similar types of younger men (not nearly as bad) and one I know for fact was smart enough to listen, get out and he now has a girlfriend and is well adjusted and doing well. He is still on MERB but just seeing escorts occasionally or not at all.

 

[westwoody]

he almost had a nervous breakdown when an escort he liked walked into the room

Been there, done that.
I tried to wean myself off anti anxiety meds that were turning me into a fat blob.
It turns out my doctor really does know more about medicine than me.
Now I'm anxious about being anxious.

I've had two near death experiences, I am lucky to be here. My advice to anyone is go for it. In every situation. You could die walking home after work tomorrow. So fuck waiting til you are 35, if you want to do something, do it now.
You get one shot at life.
Make the most of it.

 

[B52]

It's kind of shocking the stereotyping in this thread! We are all different and unique!
Sps could "enjoy" the time with both young and old johns, but what really matter to them is the $, the best moment for them and they reach their "big O" (as some posters say) when the john leaves and they count what they made on their day, no matter how cool, hip, mature, eloquent or whatever you want to describe yourself to be!

 

[bruno2000]

it was after age 35 that I began paying for sex on a serial basis, for no other reason than it was easier and in some ways as affordable as dating

You're dillusional. When I was active on the dating scene, my typical date was to meet a girl in Vieux Port and go for a walk. The other option was to straight up invite a girl to my place. When I go to a fancy restaurant with my best friend or a family member, I don't pay for their bill; why would I pay for a stranger I've just met?

 

[cloudsurf]

B52 you state that we are all different and unique and then you go and generalize that all sp`s just care about the money.
Well you are wrong. Most do but some care about their experiences too. You stated that we are all different and unique but then you imply that escorts are not.
what about the escort that told her boss that she can`t believe that she gets paid for doing something she loves and would even do it for free.
Or the one who won`t accept a tip. The one who overstays by half an hour at no charge.
The popular sp who is always busy but takes the time to send a text thanking you. The one who takes the time to send you pics from her vacation.
Sometimes its not just about the money.
BTW you were off topic and so is my reply. Lets get back to the age question.

 

[B52]

Cloudsurf we are all different and unique, We = the johns. The thread is about the hobbyists.
I have had and still having the kind of relation you are mentioning in your reply with sps, but out of the girl's 15 dates/week me and you become the exception, not the rule. There is nothing wrong in having a good date in addition to $$. That's why some girls go to the top in this business and some don't.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Most people evaluate things by examining their own lives and assume that everyone has a similar life. And when they remember their life 20 or 30 years ago, they assume that life is the same for all young people as it was for them. So they make general statements about all 18-35 year olds that I think are inapplicable.

My wording mistake or in a different thought pattern. My comment was not to be against young people who see an escort on a whim but towards a young person who decides to see only escorts.
My error for not explaining myself more clearly.

 

[Mtdl]

Actually, I think escorts are a good way for young guys to improve their skills with women in general. She HAS to stay the hour, so it's a good way to practice holding a conversation with a hot girl. It can also help to reduce your shyness and give you confidence to approach her and get things physical.

 

[bruno2000]

Actually, I think escorts are a good way for young guys to improve their skills with women in general. She HAS to stay the hour, so it's a good way to practice holding a conversation with a hot girl. It can also help to reduce your shyness and give you confidence to approach her and get things physical.

This is true.
An attractive girl you see on the street can be scary and intimidating to a young man that wants to initiate a conversation, but has little to no experience.
Having an intimate encounter with a smoking hot escort, whether you paid or not... the bottomline is you talked, kissed and banged a smoking hot girl, therefore making approaches easier.
Because when you spend quality time with an escort, you realize she's... just a girl. Like all the other girls you've met in your life.
Nervousness and putting the pussy on a pedestral is a major problem for men that are unsuccessful on the dating scene

 

[jalimon]

This is true.
An attractive girl you see on the street can be scary and intimidating to a young man that wants to initiate a conversation, but has little to no experience.
Having an intimate encounter with a smoking hot escort, whether you paid or not... the bottomline is you talked, kissed and banged a smoking hot girl, therefore making approaches easier.
Because when you spend quality time with an escort, you realize she's... just a girl. Like all the other girls you've met in your life.
Nervousness and putting the pussy on a pedestral is a major problem for men that are unsuccessful on the dating scene

I agree too. I have already wrote that I whish I would have seen a few escort in my 20's simply to become better in sex, especially to learn how to please the girl.

That said, I am also happy I did not because I still made it quite good with girls (never on real dating scene, never in clubs and bars...) I picked up all my girls in my activities (hockey, soccer, alpine skiing, outdoring, etc..). An escort can give you the confidence needed. Even when they are hot as hell, they are just girl after all!

Absolutely no escort in the world will beat the kind of sex you can have with a girlfriend/wife. First, it's not a 1h or 2h thing, it's something a whole week-end! And second it's much more powerful, physicaly and emotionnaly. Until the kids come, too much work, not enough sex, kids grow up, more work, no sex at all which equals divorce => Escort

Cheers,

 

[Numerati]

If you are young use this hobby to gain experience and work out whatever fear and intimidation you have with women. Really helps to build your confidence yet do not get addicted and hooked to this hobby. No matter what age you are in never get into some quasi-relationship in this hobby whatsoever. I have met a few guys turn idiot white knights which was beyond laughable.

I started this in my late 20s and thought this hobby was some unbelievable joke because of the really cheap prices of Montreal and thought the pics were fake. Guess not. Actually I fell hard with the third girl I met but that collapse taught me much and made me a better boyfriend/lover afterwards. Also this hobby is great to fill in those periodic gaps where you have not met any quality woman out there. Yet once you do it is easy to leave because I mean you can come back to this hobby at any time and there is always some beautiful available.

 

[cloudsurf]

I agree too. I have already wrote that I whish I would have seen a few escort in my 20's simply to become better in sex, especially to learn how to please the girl.

Cheers,

That could backfire by re-enforcing bad habits.
Nothing like a free spirited open minded girlfriend whom you love and respect to teach you the art of sexual pleasure.

 

[jalimon]

I know I posted an article about this a long time ago, but CNN did a video also (apparently for the illiterate)

We would all like to think that all young guys are juggling more women than they can manage, but the nature of the musical chair system (probably 70 percent of men pursue 30 percent of the women) leaves a lot of guys on the outside looking in. By excluding younger guys from the activity, you might cause some of them to end up in "draw the naked girl" therapy in middle age.

These stories will always be bizarre to me. How could there by that many Japanese male virgins when paradise (Thailand) is a short plane ride away.

http://money.cnn.com/video/news/201...ey/index.html?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion

This movie leaves me speechless! Not even kissed a girl at 40! I remember the time I organized a kissing contest in my basement in my youth. I was 14! 6 girls came and my best 4 buddies were there. My buddies and I all agreed little Julie won the contest handily, mostly because she would let us touch her boobs and ass We could not repeat because one of the girl became jalous and told her parent. Men the shit I got...

Cheers,

 

[613ottawaguy]

What age group do you fall under as hobbyists?

In my opinion, I suspect that most hobbyists would fall between the category of 40 to 60 because that's when men are at peak of their career or have the most money. It would be interesting to see if this would change in the future. Perhaps more and more younger gents will start seeing escorts.. Only time will tell.

Edit: Ok I didn't know this question was already made. Good thing I added a poll to it. It would make it easier if people would vote on poll so we can get a current standing on the data.


And once again I find myself agreeing with Patron.

I think it is narcissistic to take one's own life experience and profile and declare that everyone else should follow it.

I also think it is emotionally unhealthy to consider seeing escorts as some type of failure, and argue that it is better to "fail" in a person's 50s and 60s as opposed to earlier in life.

Commercial sex is a fucking transaction, not some dramatic life choice. If a young guy has the money, see an escort if he wants to. His dick works better in his 20s and 30s than later. There is nothing keeping him from pursuing a girlfriend the day after he sees an escort. And if he has a girlfriend, he learns the skill of not telling her everything and compartmentalizing his life. A lot of guys who started seeing escorts in their 50s wish they had learned that skill earlier.

You guys act like everyone has the exact life experience. In the modern economy, that is much less true than in previous generations. Somewhere out there exists a young medical student who will study more hours than any of us can imagine and put in residency shifts equivalent to three jobs. When he hits his peak earning years, he will get more "civilian" pussy thrown at him than he can handle. I think it is great if he sees escorts while in his 20s. What right do a bunch of guys in the 40-60 year old range have to tell him that they can buy something and he can't? Name something else in the economy where that happens?

I would add that in my opinion, the younger guys shouldn't indulge too much in escorts and keep relying on it because it could lead him to a bad habit. In his younger age, he should explore himself more and be open to other possibilities. A relationship with a girlfriend can be very rewarding as well. What is life but full of experiences?

 

[EagerBeaver]

In retrospect I would say the 40s are the peak or prime years because you are not too young and not too old.

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

Started hobbying at age 23, after graduating college and getting a full-time job that provided some disposable income. Did so for about 4-5 years before getting married and then stopped completely for 24 years until my marriage fell apart. Just got back into the game a couple years ago. I’m 54 and anticipate doing this for the rest of my life. 1) Have no desire to enter into another relationship and get bent over a table again. 2) I’m not attracted to women my age (or close to it), with few exceptions.
Looking back, the hobby provided me valuable experience and increased my skills, which came in handy during my marriage. Was fortunate not to catch anything but I practiced safe — HJs in AMPs, safe FS (no anal) but lots of BBBJ with SPs. Also fortunate not to get caught by LE, which continues to be a concern in U.S.

 

[Numerati]

43.

I started this hobby at 27 a week shy of 28. Was pretty active until I was around 34. Getting that banging hot girls out of my system was liberating. My last year of active hobbying was seeing porn stars in Vegas and that pretty much ended my hobbying journey. Didn’t return once more until I was 39 and that was pretty much it for me. In between those five years hiatus I was just doing regular civie dating/relationships.

Wanted to continue on from my return at age 39 but met a girl at my gym and we dated for about a year and a half. Then we got married and my first kid is going to be arriving this September.

 

[Fradi]

The right age is when it makes you happy.

I am in my 60s, had quite a few gorgeous girlfriends in my late teens early twenties, then was married to the love of my life for a very long time until she passed away.
I was always lucky with women, never had issues attracting them or having longer relationships in spite of being a relatively shy person.
i started seeing the most gorgeous and kindest SP I could ever wish to know last October and have been seeing her ever since.
I see others also but will never stop seeing this amazing woman.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong age to see an SP, we all have different reasons, but most of all if it feels good and makes you happy then it is nobody else’s business what you do.