Being Taken For Granted

[westwoody]

A friend is an ex sp, she has a little boy five years old.
I know she has a hard time making ends meet, especially compared to what she made as an escort.
So at least once a week I take them some stuff, maybe fifty to a hundred dollars of groceries and other stuff. I always watch for really nice kid's clothes for her little boy, things she would want for him but that are too expensive. Today I took them a bag of groceries and I gave him two Polo Ralph Lauren t shirts. Not very exciting. I also took him a really nice Marshall from Paw Patrol lawn sprinkler.
His mom called him to come see, he opens the bag and looks at it, says "Is that all I got?" and goes back to watching tv.
I really like the kid, and that was out of character. The thing is, I thought he'd love it, and he just didn't give a shit.
I need to stop being so generous maybe. I don't know if I am unappreciated or if I am a jerk or what.
Fuck life is so hard to figure out.

 

[ssj3]

That is very generous of you to do all those things. You have to understand though that kids are like that, until they get older they don't know how to show appreciation for nice things being done for them. As long as the mom is appreciative and doesn't take you for granted, that's all that matters I think.

 

[rollingstone]

Anyone who has been buying xmas gifts for charities has seen the same reaction at one point or another. Kids can be stupid. Don't take it personally. The key is to take lots of pictures so you can embarrass them later in life

 

[wilbur]

Next time, bring him nothing. That's not hard to figure out. No explanations even necessary.

 

[jalimon]

That is very generous of you to do all those things. You have to understand though that kids are like that, until they get older they don't know how to show appreciation for nice things being done for them. As long as the mom is appreciative and doesn't take you for granted, that's all that matters I think.

You are dead on SSJ. I sometime struggle a lot to make my 2 kids understand how lucky they are.

Westwoody keep being good. Sooner or later people will realize how great you were for them.

Cheers,

 

[West Med]

When I was a kid, about 5 years old, my grandmother used to take the train out to the west island to visit every week and she'd bring bags of toys for me. It got to the point where I would run up and ask her what she brought me this week... it was no longer about her visit. My mum realized this and put an immediate end to the presents.

The novelty of a gift was getting lost on me as it was more expected than apprecited. It's one of my earliest memories and I'm very glad my mother put a stop to it.

Kids learn their values at a very early age... and i don't agree that you should keep doing it. You'll help that little boy much more by teaching him to appreciate a nice gift from time to time rather than him thinking he'll always get something for nothing... and not even appreciate it no less...

I feel for you because I can tell you are giving from your heart. Taking care of the family needs will be something that will stick with them forever... not the toys.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I spoiled my kids too much, way too much but when you are gone for months at a time. When you constantly give children something it is not special anymore when they receive a gift, when gifts are expensive the cheaper ones or les amount are far less enjoyable. the child is five and in his heart did not mean to offend you, probably watching his favorite TV show also. Great that you are doing that for the mother and child, nice to hear of things like this.

 

[escapefromstress]

Good for you westwoody. Remember the joy you got from giving to them, and know you did a good thing, whether they appreciate it or not.

 

[starry]

You say he is a good kid and that his reaction was out of character. So not a big deal. Anyway I'm sure his mom appreciates what you are doing and thats more important. He is just a kid after all. BTW I always enjoy hearing about enduring human and personal bonds forming between SPs and their clients because to me intimacy is about more than just a business. Props to you and thanks for posting.

 

[westwoody]

No doubt a misunderstanding on my part.
He is the only small child I know!

Yeah the kid's shows are so weird now, Octonauts anyone?

 

[Doggyluver]

The kid may not have shown the appreciation you were expecting but I'm sure his Mom appreciates all you do. Let's not forget that he is a 5 year old and if it's not a toy they really don't care. I too have a friend who is an ex SP and yes I help her and her two kids out on a regular basis. I have the means to do so and I know the Mom appreciates the help. At the end of the day I feel better for what I do for them I am not looking for a huge thank you, when I walk away I know that what I have done will make life a little easier for them all.

 

[ShyMan]

I grew up poor so I appreciate whatever I received from anyone. I have no kids of my own but have several nieces and nephews, some of whom sincerely appreciated what I gave them when they were 5 years old (and younger) and others don't give a shit. Now that their grandmother (my mom) is at the end-stage-of-life (due to the invidious Alzheimer's disease), some of the kids really enjoy spending time with her while others (whom she cared for from infancy until preschool) don't give a shit except to play on their iPads. Some kids are mature beyond their age and appreciate everything they receive. And sometimes tough love (deprivation of gifts) can be a wake up call to the kid, or not. So westwoody, continue to be the kind, caring and generous person that you are. The mother likely sincerely appreciates your generosity but free money or stuff often lead the receiver to become jaded too.

 

[Meat Missile]

People that receive charity sometimes feel an entitlement. Cut back for a while and you will appreciated more.