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Bloopers - Everyone has an embarrassing / funny sex story to share

rumraycer

Member
Oct 30, 2006
111
19
18
So... some years ago I was at a sex party in a city apartment, one girl and about 6-8 guys... when it was my turn, I was plugging away in mish... and suddenly her wig fell off! She was completely bald! and she looked like a guy! (with tits and a vag)! I instantly lost my wood, jumped back, rapidly got dressed and scooted on out of there!!
 

korian

Member
Dec 22, 2008
126
21
18
Subtle blooper (delayed information revealed later in the session)

Years ago, i see this orally-fixated provider, she enjoyed giving blow jobs in a row successively without breaks..

I let her do her bj's, of course i am in the after glow of orgasms after all the sog's she gave me..

Then she tells me that during the first shot, that i shot in her one of her nostrils (shot direct in her nostril straight up), i was like what?, she didn't say anything because she didn't want to break the flow. We both laughed about it. I guess i was enjoying my first sog too much to notice that i shot in her notril.

It was not an Angry Dragon like the first post.
Is this provider still in business to your knowledge? Or someone with a similar approach?
 
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Doc Holliday

Staying hard
Sep 27, 2003
19,775
1,281
113
Canada
This story occurred to one of my best friends one night when we were in Mtl. We were staying at the Vogue & after my own date ended i headed to a bar & my buddy would come & meet me there later once his date was over. About an hour later he showed up & didn’t look as pleased as i expected him to be. I asked him who he saw & he said that the agency sent a replacement for a girl that had cancelled. He said that she was totally not his type but he agreed to see her anyway. But that wasn’t the worse part.

While they were in bed during foreplay she told him that she was having cramps & asked if she could excuse herself & go to the bathroom. About five minutes or so later he heard her scream “Oh no!” and when he went over to check what was going on he was shocked to see that she had unfortunately clogged up the toilet with too much toilet paper & it had flooded & there was shit floating around everywhere on the bathroom floor!

My buddy added that it was a disgusting scene & the smell was terrible! Man, i was laughing so hard when he was telling me this! Lol. Anyways my buddy rarely drank but soon after telling me the story he ordered a double scotch whisky! Lol
 

Mandouke

Well-Known Member
Apr 5, 2022
998
2,239
93
This story occurred to one of my best friends one night when we were in Mtl. We were staying at the Vogue & after my own date ended i headed to a bar & my buddy would come & meet me there later once his date was over. About an hour later he showed up & didn’t look as pleased as i expected him to be. I asked him who he saw & he said that the agency sent a replacement for a girl that had cancelled. He said that she was totally not his type but he agreed to see her anyway. But that wasn’t the worse part.

While they were in bed during foreplay she told him that she was having cramps & asked if she could excuse herself & go to the bathroom. About five minutes or so later he heard her scream “Oh no!” and when he went over to check what was going on he was shocked to see that she had unfortunately clogged up the toilet with too much toilet paper & it had flooded & there was shit floating around everywhere on the bathroom floor!

My buddy added that it was a disgusting scene & the smell was terrible! Man, i was laughing so hard when he was telling me this! Lol. Anyways my buddy rarely drank but soon after telling me the story he ordered a double scotch whisky! Lol
Some fellow Merb reading this right now is probably wondering and wanting to know who the girl was who saw your friend that night, so that they could book a session, and it sure as hell ain't me. Some twisted guys will pay top dollar for that!
 

AirBo

Chick Hunter
Jan 18, 2020
1,606
5,149
113
This story occurred to one of my best friends one night when we were in Mtl. We were staying at the Vogue & after my own date ended i headed to a bar & my buddy would come & meet me there later once his date was over. About an hour later he showed up & didn’t look as pleased as i expected him to be. I asked him who he saw & he said that the agency sent a replacement for a girl that had cancelled. He said that she was totally not his type but he agreed to see her anyway. But that wasn’t the worse part.

While they were in bed during foreplay she told him that she was having cramps & asked if she could excuse herself & go to the bathroom. About five minutes or so later he heard her scream “Oh no!” and when he went over to check what was going on he was shocked to see that she had unfortunately clogged up the toilet with too much toilet paper & it had flooded & there was shit floating around everywhere on the bathroom floor!

My buddy added that it was a disgusting scene & the smell was terrible! Man, i was laughing so hard when he was telling me this! Lol. Anyways my buddy rarely drank but soon after telling me the story he ordered a double scotch whisky! Lol
You are an endless source of stories and wisdom in this hobby :) I love reading your posts
 

minutemenX

Well-Known Member
Jun 8, 2015
902
932
93
around
It was in Amsterdam, and I was staying in a small hotel not too far from the Red-Light district. I was having a girl from the 24Hours escort agency (still in operation). In the middle of the session, when the girl was on top of me the door opened and the lady from the front desk came in. She was staying like 1 min looking at us then turned around and left. The girl asked me why I did not lock the door, but I did remember locking the f-ng door.
 

NatashaSnow

Well-Known Member
Jun 28, 2023
221
726
93
Montréal
I won't name the lady

Years ago, maybe 10 years ago

I took the lady doggy style....

And she farted loudly....

something like this already happened to me ….. ON CAM…. In chaturbate. I was with my bf at the time and he’s going at it from behind, the stream is going well, room is full, tips are coming in and then out comes the ass slap from hell.. I don’t know why, how or what possessed him to slap me that hard but it shocked me so much a *very audible* fart came out. I tried to get up as the same time he was bending forward to see if I was okay or wtv the fuck reason so I decked him in the face and I fell off the bed….
And of course that stream was recorded and leaked and to this day is still floating around the internet.

also, every girls nightmare has happened to me during anal a million years ago when I was like 18-19. I cried in the bathroom for hours.
 

Thane

Nocturnal Nookie Monster
Jun 24, 2023
353
1,455
93
She was on top riding me and then she farted so bad she stank the room

she was deepthorating me so much that she puked on my dick

I was fingering her in bunghole and then my finger was covered in poop
I hope you both showered after the session...:oops:
 
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Mistral

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2006
525
383
63
Here's one.

Back in 2007 I was in another country and picked up a hot girl from a gentleman's club and brought her back to my hotel. I'm sitting back on a cozy chair and she's on her knees giving me a sensual tittyfuck, pushing her baby oil lubed DDs together with my dick in between. I was sitting and enjoying the whole experience and as I neared the moment of ecstasy I zoned out a bit.... a few seconds later I was abruptly snapped out of it, it took me a second and then I realized I had just blasted a huge load directly in my face. No sooner had I opened my eyes and realized what happened, a second blast hits me again square in the face. It was just a fluke she had my dick at that angle during the TF. It was an unusually big load for me, and after the second blast my face was totally drenched and dripping. We had a few seconds of a WTF? reaction and then we both burst out laughing.
 

licknsplit

Member
Jun 27, 2008
49
65
18
Here's one.

Back in 2007 I was in another country and picked up a hot girl from a gentleman's club and brought her back to my hotel. I'm sitting back on a cozy chair and she's on her knees giving me a sensual tittyfuck, pushing her baby oil lubed DDs together with my dick in between. I was sitting and enjoying the whole experience and as I neared the moment of ecstasy I zoned out a bit.... a few seconds later I was abruptly snapped out of it, it took me a second and then I realized I had just blasted a huge load directly in my face. No sooner had I opened my eyes and realized what happened, a second blast hits me again square in the face. It was just a fluke she had my dick at that angle during the TF. It was an unusually big load for me, and after the second blast my face was totally drenched and dripping. We had a few seconds of a WTF? reaction and then we both burst out laughing.
Yes, but did you swallow??
 
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