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Getting friend with a sp

envelopes

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Oct 7, 2019
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And…any luck?
With making friends with SPs? Yeah, I'm not much older than most SPs, so I get along with a lot. There are 5-6 I randomly meet up with for drinks and dinner. 1 I see pretty often, and she visits me in my city sometimes.
 
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Jordd

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With making friends with SPs? Yeah, I'm not much older than most SPs, so I get along with a lot. There are 5-6 I randomly meet up with for drinks and dinner. 1 I see pretty often, and she visits me in my city sometimes.
Didn’t you say that you dated SPs and it ruined things and you wanted to go back to SP situation?

In any case, do have any advice on maintaining the friendship with SPs without fucking things up?
 

captainkirk

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I dated a few dancers when I was younger. But I always viewed it as something destined to fail. I knew I was too jealous for it, so I emotionally held something back to prevent my jealousy.

I viewed it as something destined to fail, so I was going to ride it for what it's worth and have fun. That worked. It was that attitude that attracted the girls in the first place.

I dated dozens of waitresses and bartenders in the day too. I was good at interacting with service people in a non sleezy way and naturally became friends

I am older now though. It's purely a transaction that I am pleasant in. There is no desire for prolonged attachment and I do not want it
 

envelopes

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Didn’t you say that you dated SPs and it ruined things and you wanted to go back to SP situation?

Not multiple SPs, just 1. And yes, that's why I said "it's a bad idea" in the post above lol. I wish I could just go back to SP situation with her... I fucked that up

In any case, do have any advice on maintaining the friendship with SPs without fucking things up?

Don't expect freebies or anything more. Basically, just treat her as a friend like any other friends you have. (The only difference is that she knows the hobby industry, so it's fun to talk about. None of my friends know I hobby, so it's nice to talk about it with a friend who knows.)
 
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DouMan

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Don't expect freebies or anything more. Basically, just treat her as a friend like any other friends you have. (The only difference is that she knows the hobby industry, so it's fun to talk about. None of my friends know I hobby, so it's nice to talk about it with a friend who knowknows
That's the secret, not to mix friendship with the hobby. They are totally 2 different things and should be viewed as such.
 

The Bear

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May 31, 2014
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There have been some cases where someone I met as a client had a specific similar interest (in an entertainment activity for example) and we went out together on a strictly platonic basis to share the common interest. Those relationships have worked out fine, basically a 2-track relationship where the two tracks are kept separate.
There have been other cases where an emotional element entered the realationship, the person said she loved me and didn't think of me as just another client, and hinted as to my leaving my "civilian" partner in her favour. Flattering as it may seem, these cases do not turn out well. I tend to think now that one should stop seeing the person as soon as something like this happens.
 

Jordd

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Mar 26, 2017
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These kind of threads make me laugh so much. Like... we are human beings? You can be friend with a sex worker like you could become friend with your massage therapist.
Yes, but does that affect the SP relationship?
Do you still see her as a SP?
Do you have sex when hanging out as friends?
 

Jordd

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Not multiple SPs, just 1. And yes, that's why I said "it's a bad idea" in the post above lol. I wish I could just go back to SP situation with her... I fucked that up

Don't expect freebies or anything more. Basically, just treat her as a friend like any other friends you have. (The only difference is that she knows the hobby industry, so it's fun to talk about. None of my friends know I hobby, so it's nice to talk about it with a friend who knows.)
Agree. I think in most cases it will ruin the SP relationship.
 
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DouMan

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These kind of threads make me laugh so much. Like... we are human beings? You can be friend with a sex worker like you could become friend with your massage therapist.
Exactly. I have a few ladies in the industry that are very close friends and have been for nearly 10 years and counting. We communicate or see each other on a regular social base. But one thing was made clear at the very beginning ... being a client was over and we would never have sex. It's worked out fine all these years. As you say behind the job is a very ordinary everyday person and just as in civilian life we do not have to fuck all our friends
 
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Lexus3

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Exactly. I have a few ladies in the industry that are very close friends and have been for nearly 10 years and counting. We communicate or see each other on a regular social base. But one thing was made clear at the very beginning ... being a client was over and we would never have sex. It's worked out fine all these years. As you say behind the job is a very ordinary everyday person and just as in civilian life we do not have to fuck all our friends
That's the point, I'd rather choose the good sex over friendship as there are very few truly great SPs.
 

urquell

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Feb 24, 2013
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Sure, I have several friendships with SPs and ex SPs. I have dated 3 of them. If you are not insecure about the work they do then there's no problem. For me it's no different than dating a stripper (have dated one) or a bartender (have dated a few). Honestly dating a bartender is far worse, because the lifestyle is such that they're very often drunk and keep lousy hours, which SPs can easily avoid if they want to, and usually the bartenders have to deal with more and more persistent assholes and drunken assholes with really no way to escape them as they can always keep coming back to the bar. SPs can usually avoid the worst of that if they want to (of course SPs have to deal with their share of idiots too, but it seems a bit different in my way of looking at it) If you're realistic about their work and you're comfortable with that then I really don't see an issue, in the short term. In the long term if you are looking to set up house and create a family and such then that's when it starts to become an issue in my experience. Everyone is different and the timing for everyone is likely different too. Of course the thing that people overlook in this is that it's also important to consider the guy and what he does for a living. The SP is looking for someone desirable to date too. There are many so-called "normal" professions that can be more intrusive on relationships than being an SP, especially jobs that involve significant travel or absence. For example, I know several guys who work in mining who are away for 6 months a year and often maintain at least two relationships or even two families. Guys who work on oil platforms, commercial mariners and even some pilots have the same issue. Most guys can't get past the SP work aspects or look objectively at their work and maintain a non-possessive relationship. Having said that, almost anybody could maintain a good friendship with an SP provided they can forget about the work and forget about trying to bed the SP and instead consider them as a person rather than an avatar of their job.
 
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urquell

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That's the point, I'd rather choose the good sex over friendship as there are very few truly great SPs.
There are even fewer people who make really good friends. That's worth far more than the sex. If you have that kind of relationship then seize it. People who you can have sex with are a dime a dozen (well, maybe more than a dime each, but they're common.lol)
 

Lexus3

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There are even fewer people who make really good friends. That's worth far more than the sex. If you have that kind of relationship then seize it. People who you can have sex with are a dime a dozen (well, maybe more than a dime each, but they're common.lol)
Great friends are few I agree. Great SPs that you truly connect with and enjoy to be with are not that common either though.
 
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envelopes

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There are even fewer people who make really good friends. That's worth far more than the sex. If you have that kind of relationship then seize it. People who you can have sex with are a dime a dozen (well, maybe more than a dime each, but they're common.lol)
I'll take the sex.

Friends are easy to make. I have at least 15 close female friends (very good friends for years), none of whom want to fuck me :(

I'll take the good sex any day
 

urquell

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Feb 24, 2013
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I'll take the sex.

Friends are easy to make. I have at least 15 close female friends (very good friends for years), none of whom want to fuck me :(

I'll take the good sex any day

Whatever floats your boat.
 
Sep 15, 2011
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Back 20 years ago when average people started to buy computers many people did not know how to use them or fix them when they had a problem. Many SPs and massage ladies needed my services. I took good care of their computers, they took good care of me. In total I had 8 ladies that needed my services.
 
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